| rape in a relationship?
Posted: 12/3/2008 7:48:36 AM | | Yes it is possible. Anytime someone says no and are forced into having sex - its rape, regardless of marriage, relationship, stranger, or friends. No means No. | |
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| rape in a relationship?
Posted: 12/3/2008 7:53:15 AM | Ummmm.....
Again....yawn....yeah, yeah...you're 58 and she's 31...and you have a nympho on your hands...we heard it before in a few posts ago...
Your story has nothing to do with causes of rape. Most normal people say No, not in the mood....in relationships. That can be another discussion on another thread.
Back to causes of rape. Again...it's an act of violence caused by control issues and/or anger. | |
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| rape in a relationship?
Posted: 12/3/2008 8:38:54 AM | I think the answer to this question for 99% of people is agreed upon and pretty black and white. However, when new forums are started that include the issue of sex, there are certain posteres that will ALWAYS use the situation to have it centered around their sexual feelings, their personal sex life (yuck) and to incessantly try to change the
format into a saga about their wonderful life , their lovers, their prowess, whatever.
But I guess some people need to go on and on about their personal story and triumphs,over, and over, and over, and over. I think it is called grandstanding. Best
for everyone to just ignore it and hope it goes away again. That is what I am going to do from now on. Pretty disgusting stuff. | |
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| rape in a relationship?
Posted: 12/3/2008 8:50:46 AM | ^LOL desert
Let's get real world here.
Okay...lets. Why don't you come over to the dark side of humanity and admit rape is wrong no matter what form it is comes in?
Anyway, I think I'm going to take desert's lead and just ignore from now on. Not worth it. | |
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| rape in a relationship?
Posted: 12/3/2008 9:00:32 AM |
Why don't you come over to the dark side of humanity and admit rape is wrong no matter what form it is comes in?
I did, in post #6.
Beyond that, I was a victim, at age 26, of male rape, when I was driving a cab in Chicago, while in grad school, and two guys held me up and kidnapped me for 6 hours, and then forced a "deviant sexual assault". I know about rape. I've been there.
The thread did get off topic, and I do apologize for my role in that, but none of my posts were intended to justify rape, whether within the context of a relationship or not. | |
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| Rape in a relationship?
Posted: 12/3/2008 9:14:54 AM | Rape is what anyone does sexually to anyone not consenting.
No matter what their relationship to each other is.
PS. As for the trolling "RenMan" aka "Melo" - regular emails to "admin" to ban him AGAIN will work.
Man craves attention his 30 year old blow-up doll can't provide.
Meanwhile, let's not feed the troll ladies.. | |
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| Rape in a relationship?
Posted: 12/3/2008 1:22:02 PM |
PS. As for the trolling "RenMan" aka "Melo" - regular emails to "admin" to ban him AGAIN will work.
Awww, now don't go be doing that. His ideas are "over the top" but they are not inflammatory. Besides, where's your sense of entertainment?
I look forward to seeing how many threads on different topics into which he can insert his superior sexual prowess. | |
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| Rape in a relationship?
Posted: 12/3/2008 1:49:39 PM | I feel so ashamed that I'm laughing in a "rape" thread....
back on topic.....rape is about control.......period
Just what it is that are over compensating for ...is dependant on the individual rapist. | |
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| rape in a relationship?
Posted: 12/3/2008 1:57:50 PM | | No means no; and frankly if it is forced in a relationship setting than someone has issues and should not be in the relationship. | |
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| rape in a relationship?
Posted: 12/3/2008 2:21:17 PM |
Msg: 1 -- What causes rape in a relationship?
MISCOMMUNICATION. In ANY relationship, the man has free access to the woman ANY time he chooses. This free access ENDS, of course, when the relationship ITSELF has ended. The problem occurs when the WOMAN **FAILS** to inform the MAN that the relationship has ENDED.
One MAJOR difficulty is that the WOMAN can END the relationship SECRETLY and at her discretion at ANY time, thus deceiving the man. He, BELIEVING the relationship is STILL intact, will take her sexually. SHE, having ENDED the relationship WITHOUT his knowledge, will CHARGE him with RAPE.
The MAN has NO recourse, since the judicial system is prejudiced against him. HIS life is RUINED; HER life goes on as if nothing happened.
THIS is the judicial system at its FINEST. The WOMAN has the WEAPON. The MAN is only the unwitting VICTIM. Read up on the "Praying Mantis" and the "BlackWidow Spider". Legally speaking, THERE IS **NO** DIFFERENCE!!!! | |
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| rape in a relationship?
Posted: 12/3/2008 2:27:28 PM | ^ Now I need to go get a barf bag.
Or maybe I need to calm down and say WHAT THE...? "Access" to the woman "any time he chooses"?
--Ms. Flis | |
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| rape in a relationship?
Posted: 12/3/2008 2:34:18 PM | THIS is the judicial system at its FINEST. The WOMAN has the WEAPON. The MAN is only the unwitting VICTIM. Read up on the "Praying Mantis" and the "BlackWidow Spider". Legally speaking, THERE IS **NO** DIFFERENCE!!!!
Huh?? Ending the relationship and failing to tell the man?? How the hell does THAT happen??
Although, I guess if a woman has been dominated and used sexually at will throughout the relationship, she might be more apt to create this type of vengeful scenario against her abuser.... | |
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| rape in a relationship?
Posted: 12/3/2008 2:34:19 PM |
Msg: 64 -- ^ Now I need to go get a barf bag.
Or maybe I need to calm down and say WHAT THE...? "Access" to the woman "any time he chooses"?
You apparently disagree. Would you graciously explain why? After all, the legal system is in your favor, and condemns me. It appears you have the upper hand. | |
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| rape in a relationship?
Posted: 12/3/2008 2:36:48 PM | | This may not be the response you were looking for, but I will add this anyway. Reading your post made me think of the last guy I was dating. He told me more than one time that he used to love to make his ex-wife cry and then well you know. I was real shocked by that. I don't know. It just seemed like he was saying I enjoyed raping my ex frequently or something I guess. Anyway I dumped him fast. | |
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| rape in a relationship?
Posted: 12/3/2008 2:38:03 PM |
In ANY relationship, the man has free access to the woman ANY time he chooses.
acka acka
I doubt that either gender, seeking a wholesome and equal partnership, on this thread would find that statement acceptable. It reeks of control. | |
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| rape in a relationship?
Posted: 12/3/2008 2:40:01 PM |
I would not "force" a partner, so if she said "no", she would be physically safe . However, when one enters into marriage, both people, as part of the "covenant" surrender "self" to a greater "us", so if one, or the other, denies his/her partner, then it is a violation of the covenant. You have got to be kidding me...
I hadn't even gotten through page one of this thread before being absolutely floored at the audacity of this comment.
MeloFelow ~ Are you aware that rape takes many forms? You're stating that a partner saying no to sex is a line that can never be crossed and you would leave simply for that... which is basically saying put out or I'm leaving... is coercion.
Hmmmm... sounds suspiciously like forced sex doesn't it? Let's look at the meanings of words...
Coercion ~ the act of coercing; use of force or intimidation to obtain compliance.
Rape ~ any act of sexual intercourse that is forced upon a person.
Basically... whether or not you even agree with me, the law would... using threats and ultimatums to gain sexual favours from anyone is rape since you are forcing the end result. People like you absolutely disgust me because you actually believe that you have the right to intimidate someone...
Those traits are also common in abusers and pedophiles.
Cheers... | |
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| rape in a relationship?
Posted: 12/3/2008 2:42:26 PM | My disagreement is not with your statement that the legal system is in the woman's favor, nor that it can and has sometimes been abused because of that. My disagreement is with your position that a man in a relationship should have "free access to the woman anytime he chooses." That tells me you apparently see women as property for your use. And I find that line of thought objectionable, particularly in this century.
In response to:
You apparently disagree. Would you graciously explain why? After all, the legal system is in your favor, and condemns me. It appears you have the upper hand.
--Ms. Flis | |
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| rape in a relationship?
Posted: 12/3/2008 2:49:08 PM |
Msg: 65 -- Huh?? Ending the relationship and failing to tell the man?? How the hell does THAT happen??
I HAVE heard of it happening. I tend to be FAR **MORE** careful than most, so I have AVOIDED such a travesty in my own life. But, BE **AWARE**, and be totally trusting of **NO** WOMAN, because the justice system allows for her to destroy ANY man's life.
Although, I guess if a woman has been dominated and used sexually at will throughout the relationship, she might be more apt to create this type of vengeful scenario against her abuser...
This is quite possible. I DO inform the woman that I am QUITE controlling and offer her an exit if she finds this offensive. But, ULTIMATELY, it is HER choice to ruin my life or not. It has been my fortune to have met HONEST women who have declined a relationship with me. SHE chose, I moved on. No harm, no foul.
BUT, the woman who DOES choose a relationship with me will continually put my head under a Guillotine. This is the judicial system as it stands at present.
Needless to say, my trust in her must be EXQUISITE. Failing that, my life ends at her displeasure.
Msg: 67 -- Anyway I dumped him fast.
And you were KIND to him for doing so. You COULD have RUINED his life had you chosen to do so.
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| rape in a relationship?
Posted: 12/3/2008 2:57:04 PM | ^^^^^^^Oh, man, this one has really brought out the willy nilly boyz!!!!!!!! Scary stuff. No wonder that I am afraid to date. Lots of guys with warped senses of sexual entitlement out there. I wonder how they were raised. Really scary, scary stuff. And the sad thing is, these attitudes are not that unusual.
It really is amazing and sad all at the same time. No wonder I have chosen a single life for 16 years. Seen way to much of this kind of destructive and warped thinking. How could you ever enjoy the presence or companionship of a man with these kinds of attitudes. It`s just creepy. | |
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| rape in a relationship?
Posted: 12/3/2008 3:05:07 PM |
Msg: 68 -- I doubt that either gender, seeking a wholesome and equal partnership, on this thread would find that statement acceptable. It reeks of control.
Doesn't it, though? Make no mistake, though, I make NO BONES about the fact that I AM a controlling man. I freely state this in my profile, should you care to read it. Any woman who OBJECTS to this freely expressed desire can look ELSEWHERE for companionship.
I don't demand submissiveness from any woman other than the one who CHOOSES to unite her life with me. If she dreams of a relationship other than what I offer, she is free to pursue that, and blessings to her should she find it. I have MY desires, and the woman who chooses to attach herself to my WILL **COMPLY** with those desires. You apparently object to this, which only means to me that we are incompatible. OK, go find another. I have no complaint of that. You are being HONEST with what YOU want, and I respect that, but understand that for that reason you are unappealing to me, as I may very well be to you.
I allow you to pursue the love of your life. All I ask is the SAME courtesy regarding MY life. | |
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| rape in a relationship?
Posted: 12/3/2008 3:07:20 PM | One MAJOR difficulty is that the WOMAN can END the relationship SECRETLY and at her discretion at ANY time, thus deceiving the man. He, BELIEVING the relationship is STILL intact, will take her sexually. SHE, having ENDED the relationship WITHOUT his knowledge, will CHARGE him with RAPE.
take her sexually???
taking someone sexually without their consent IS rape whether in a relationship or not.
and I still don't get how one ends a relationship secretly ???
other than moving out while he's at work without telling him first.....
I would think his first clue that the relationship is over would be the fact she is gone!!
and........Good luck finding your perfect woman......I hope to God she doesn't exist. | |
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| rape in a relationship?
Posted: 12/3/2008 3:16:55 PM |
Msg: 70 -- My disagreement is with your position that a man in a relationship should have "free access to the woman anytime he chooses."
OK, you disagree. My position stands as is. Basically, what this means is you and I are incompatible, and I choose not to start a relationship with someone who is incompatible. Pursue whom you will, but stay away from me. Tell me, how does that ADVERSELY affect YOUR life?
That tells me you apparently see women as property for your use. And I find that line of thought objectionable, particularly in this century.
Very well, then, I quite easily accept your objection to my view. As I have ALREADY stated, you have rigidly established the fact we are incompatible, which means WE have NO future together. This should cause NO distress in YOUR world. | |
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| rape in a relationship?
Posted: 12/3/2008 3:24:34 PM | OP there are a number of causes of rape....
Not only in a relationship/marriage.
I think *psssst* posted the definitions but the two of the most motivating is power and anger. I agree with most of the others here, this is not the place to conduct research for your study.
Ah, I see RenMan or MeloFelow or whatever he's calling himself these days is finding yet another way to insert his sexcapade diatribe to fit the subject of the thread. I suppose if the thread topic were "How to get early boarding passes onto the Good Ship Lollipop" there'd be a way to while away about it there too.  | |
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| rape in a relationship?
Posted: 12/3/2008 3:29:57 PM | You need have no fear of my coming anywhere near you, SG. But your position adversely affects my life because it says something quite horrible to me about the way one human being views another human being. It says that there are men who define the act of rape quite differently from the way I (and probably most) do, and who I therefore should fear--his ilk, if not him personally.
As for our having no future together--when did this become about us as a potential couple? Our incompatibility isn't the issue; the issue is a viewpoint I find personally abhorrent and also indicative of some things that are very wrong with this world, shown in acts that demonstrate a belief in people as property, rather than fellow human beings. Disposable property, at that. And this should cause no distress in my world? It is as distressing to me as hearing about a dictator who routinely slays countrymen because they do not do as he wishes. It is as distressing to me as finding out that slavery still exists today. It is as distressing to me as hearing about a woman--or a man--being raped.
--Ms. Flis | |
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| rape in a relationship?
Posted: 12/3/2008 3:30:38 PM | After all, the legal system is in your favor, and condemns me.
I doubt it would be a first time you being familiar with the legal system the way you act.
and I still don't get how one ends a relationship secretly ???
Umm duh, she's in hiding!!!
"As for our having no future together--when did this become about us as a potential couple? "
Oh I think he's flirting with you now. Oh come on...you know you want the smell of letchy icky all over you! :laugh:
Wow the ick factor went up a few degrees in here, huh?
It's getting EXTREMELY disturbing in here with all the Creepy McCreepersons coming out and telling their tales of how women are SUPPOSED to be submissive to a man's inability to control his penis and if she says no, then it's her fault for rape. That is how I am reading what has transpired on the last 10 posts or so.
My BIGGEST disbelief in this thread is the ones who claim to be getting any kind of sex with their attitudes towards women? Are they Dr Jekyl and Hyde? I mean if I looked up sex offenders, I wouldn't be surprised if I would find a couple of posters pictures.
Now I will go wash the ewww off of me. | |
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