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 ~daisy~
Joined: 10/19/2008
Msg: 26
Dateing in the real world Vs OnlinePage 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Cyber-dating is for people who don't take dating seriously and just want to, well, live in cyberspace or for people with extreme patience.

I think I took this thread wrong. I have never "cyber-dated". I thought this was about meeting people in real life vs. online.
If this is indeed about "dating online" well then, yes of course I think dating in real life is better!
I've met several from here, some great dates, made friends and had a great long-term relationship as well as another shorter one. No awful or scary experiences to report so my experience with meeting people online has been overall good. But "Dating online"? No thanks.
 Thunderer1973
Joined: 11/26/2008
Msg: 27
Dateing in the real world Vs Online
Posted: 12/4/2008 3:23:56 PM
I think I took this thread wrong. I have never "cyber-dated". I thought this was about meeting people in real life vs. online.
If this is indeed about "dating online" well then, yes of course I think dating in real life is better!
I've met several from here, some great dates, made friends and had a great long-term relationship as well as another shorter one. No awful or scary experiences to report so my experience with meeting people online has been overall good. But "Dating online"? No thanks.

Well, there's a courting process to cyber-dating too, and that what the online dating would be. It can be a slow, grueling process before it gets to the actual, in-person dating.
 guy richie
Joined: 10/8/2005
Msg: 28
Dateing in the real world Vs Online
Posted: 12/4/2008 3:50:16 PM
I met a model in real life and dated her for 2 years then got my heart broken and decided not to date models i shoot anymore. LOL

But yeah i find it easy to meet women in real life than online since anyone can be anyone at any givine moment. what you see online may not be what you see when you meet them finaly. i have found this to be true when i use to date online back a few years ago when internet dating was good. Why it has become so hard to meet someone now days i dont understand it. May be were geting to old for the game or its just harsh reality that the internet is over saturated with people. so tell me how has everyones dating been on here and would your prefere meeting women with out the net?
 seaga
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 29
Dateing in the real world Vs Online
Posted: 12/4/2008 3:53:01 PM
in person is way better of course..but of course you have to try alternative ways sometimes:P
 jadegreen
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 30
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Dateing in the real world Vs Online
Posted: 12/4/2008 3:55:19 PM
Okay, am I gonna be in the minority if I say it's been workin out for me? No tomatoes please...Seriously had good luck, but I really don't thing we need to lose those real life skills....internet dating has made me less shy in real life has given me more confidence to approach someone out in public and say hi...I was scared of rejection before...
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 31
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Dateing in the real world Vs Online
Posted: 12/4/2008 6:47:40 PM

but in real life i do great with the ladies when i go out I'm always the one to walk right up to random strangers and just talk ..

Then real life is where you should be concentrating all your efforts if that's what works for you.

but woman on this site seem to think so highly of them self .. when half of them spend all their time trying to find a guy online and what do they have to offer the men other then looks and boobs? and sex? whats left after the sex?

Good point, whew. Close call huh? Now that you figured out women have no use at all, you saved yourself years of wasting your time trying to date any.

P.S. You really don't need women for sex either, so you can skip that too. Have sex with yourself, after all, who knows what you like better than you?
 guy richie
Joined: 10/8/2005
Msg: 32
Dateing in the real world Vs Online
Posted: 12/4/2008 8:34:50 PM
Well i went out today and meta girl at the mall and we like each other i could tell she digs me a bit and she gave me her number. well i called her about an hour ago and were set for a date that i will be paying for every thing. It is too easy to meet women in the real world. im thing women must be having the same easy meeting of guys too.

online im still waiting for a responce if any yet. LOL
 ~daisy~
Joined: 10/19/2008
Msg: 33
Dateing in the real world Vs Online
Posted: 12/4/2008 10:08:17 PM
Totally concur with message 30. Online works for me. It's a great vehicle for meeting people. The problem is some people keep it online for too long. Get out there and meet in person!
 beachboi!
Joined: 8/26/2008
Msg: 34
Dateing in the real world Vs Online
Posted: 12/4/2008 11:33:22 PM
You can’t compare the real world to online. Imagine if this place was a reflection of the real world, how horrible would the world be? The anonymity of online attracts all kinds of the wrong people and the superficiality of it all only encourages fake/dishonest pics, and the disproportionate ratio of men and the attention it means for women sometimes results in delusions of grandeur. However, there is one online outlet which isn’t completely anonymous. and its called facebook. Recently to my surprise I’ve found is actually a good way of meeting women. I been adding friends of friends, and joining groups. Its lot harder to fake your photos/profile on a social/friends networking site where your visible to friends and family, and where you post your real name. It makes for a lot more honest environment, and therefore the people tend to be friendlier. I’ve been surprised with the results. Went on an interesting date a couple of weeks ago with a girl I met on there, and although we haven’t hit it off romantically we did hit it off as friends, and she’s invited me to her 24th where I’m sure there will be heaps of nice girls. She actually looked better than her pics, which was a refreshing surprise, as I’ve learnt to lower my expectations when meeting someone I only know from a photo. ? POF is great as long it’s not your main outlet, not a place to take too seriously that’s for sure.
 IrishGuy66
Joined: 1/7/2008
Msg: 35
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Dateing in the real world Vs Online
Posted: 12/5/2008 1:57:03 AM
I think people treat online dating as a separate institution to live dating. There's no such thing as online dating. You don't DATE them online; you MEET them online...then you date them live just like meeting them in a grocery store or library. I agree there is an unfair stigma. But its no different than meeting someone new out in the real world. They could be a wackos or predator just the same. Yes, online probably attracts those types and pools them up, but as online 'dating' gets more popular and mainstream, they are the exception. Everyone I've met so far has been normal and genuine. EVERYONE!

Looks at the four main ways it all starts off:
A chance meeting in a public place (bar, grocery, etc)
Meeting someone online while actively searching in a directory of people wanting to be found
Arranged meeting of someone by a friend, family member, coworker, etc.
Engaging someone you've known for awhile after decided you wanted to pursue them

Of those four, only knowing someone for awhile ranks higher in what you know about the person prior to chasing them. In this case, you probably know just about everything about them with certainty. Online and an arranged meeting from a mutual friend are probably tied for next best, but there's a trade off. With the arrangement, you know about the person whatever your friend tells you about the, you probably see a picture of them too. But you're guaranteed that the information is correct and the picture resent. With online, its no guarantee, however, you probably get more intimate details from a profile since it comes straight from the source. Finally, a chance meeting is the worst. You know NOTHING about the person except what they look like.

Then what's the next step after the introduction? The exchange of communication channels:
Online-means of communication already provided by the forum
Chance meeting-you give your AIM, email address and/or phone number
Arranged-The mutual friend usually give both of you each others AIM, email address and/or phone number
Someone you've known-You already know how to communicate with them

Next step...courting.
Online-usually back and forth emails on the forum you met them
Chance-usually begin exchanging emails, IMs or phone calls
Arrangement-usually begin exchanging emails, IMs or phone calls
Someone you know-same as always, now you just flirt with them a lot LOL
(Notice how the live meetings now have to go digital before the actual date heh heh)

OK from here on out, it pretty much all the same. You make a date and you go on the date. From there, everything is on the same track. So really I think online gets a bad rap. Its like if you were to introduce your significant-other of 6 months to a friend and tell them you two met online, it suddenly invalidates the relationship as something other that a real relationship.

So my answer is I've had more luck online. I go to bars. I go to the grocery. I go to the pharmacy, etc ,etc....I've had tons more dates from here than I have from bumping into someone in a checkout lane. I have a busy schedule and online is just more convenient. Yes, it may attract unappealing people, but its a trade off because it also attracts genuine people who are looking too.
 pilot667755
Joined: 11/1/2008
Msg: 36
Dateing in the real world Vs Online
Posted: 12/5/2008 10:59:59 AM
the thing is online you only have a fwe line that they read and in person the conviration flows and your body dose a lot of the talking nearly 80% of what you say is done with your body and online its 100% done with words that why in person it is easyer as they have little but your pic to go on
 jadegreen
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 37
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Dateing in the real world Vs Online
Posted: 12/5/2008 11:00:16 AM
Okay, here's idea....some areas have plentyoffish socials and can actually meet people in person...I went to halloween party hosted by POF and some recent socials at piano bar. We've had great time everytime...so check out your local socials and go to one if prefer real life....
 guy richie
Joined: 10/8/2005
Msg: 38
Dateing in the real world Vs Online
Posted: 12/6/2008 3:16:41 PM
Actualy there is a big difference meeting women online and in the real world. in the real world when you walk of to a girl you know who you are talking to. Online you really dont know if the picture on the profile is up todate or just another fake person.

To me online is just another way to make virtual reality friends you never meet. but are there when you need them. LOL

But i have to say this i have met and dated more women in person then online.
 Lglg1967
Joined: 8/27/2007
Msg: 39
Dateing in the real world Vs Online
Posted: 12/7/2008 6:50:50 AM
I think the issue with meeting people from online is that it's completely impersonal and well, it's virtual so it's not real, to a certain a degree. Reviewing a pic and a profile isn't meeting someone - it's reviewing an AD and as we all know, advertisements don't always speak the truth.

There are also a lot of people online, over 40 million to be exact, so it's easy to lose focus on someone you're interested in. People also tend to judge and get the wrong impression about a person (man or woman) online so these are other factors that come with the frustration of online dating.

The fact is, people are trying to get to know eachother and look for signs or flags through this medium and this can be a waste of time and not necessarily realistic. If you find eachother attractive online and you both like eachother's profiles and perhaps your chat online, then just meet casually for a drink or coffee -no pressure and no big deal. We live in a society of "instant gratification" and it seems everyone is expecting to "shop for someone" online the same way they shop for cloths, however, humans are complex - it doesn't work the same way.

I've heard just as many complaints about meeting the wrong people in person as I've heard online. It's a 50/50 chance no matter what, but I do concur that meeting via online can be more work, more time and sometimes with little or no result - such is life! On the flip side, you can also meet many great people from all over the world online, and sometimes you do find a connection that was more enjoyable at that moment, than the usual "chit chats" at a bar.

For the men that are perplexed about the reason women don't take the initiative to email them first, it's because many other men have unfortunately made quick assumptions and bad judgements - most women don't tend to approach men online or off. In addition, if you didn't get a response, it's because she didn't feel attracted to your pic or pehaps your profile nor your email said much at all and again, this little information is all "we got" as a basis for our decision.

I think if an online environment of common interests and "in-person" events were created, where meeting people is the byproduct and not the goal, online dating would be more natural and successful.

This should be an additional medium, not the only way to meet people and just like life, it's important not to take it too seriously.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 40
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Dateing in the real world Vs Online
Posted: 12/7/2008 7:21:42 AM

This should be an additional medium, not the only way to meet people and just like life, it's important not to take it too seriously.

Important point. Online should be an addition to many other ways of meeting people, not the only thing someone's using. Dating online only is guaranteed to be frustrating and upsetting. Online really only provides a way to contact people you wouldn't meet by chance offline.
 know better
Joined: 8/8/2008
Msg: 41
Dateing in the real world Vs Online
Posted: 12/7/2008 7:30:22 AM

To the posters that are saying they prefer to meet someone in real life as opposed to on here: Sure, that sounds great. I'm just wondering how many ways can you meet a person in real life, say, if your job doesn't bring you in contact with very many people? I think the younger people who are in university or college are an exception, those of us in our 40's, those with kids and busier lives need to be open to any way that we can meet someone and I think it's time for the "stigma" of online dating to die.


I agree with this. If it wasn't for the internet, I'd have very little chance of ever meeting a man in my age group, because I rarely see any out and about who are not already with a woman, even somewhere like Home Depot. I'm not so busy that I can't get out ( I only have one child, and I work standard hours), so I do take night classes and practically live at book stores, but middle aged men are into other stuff - maybe they no longer want to date , and they just sit home, or maybe they go to bars looking for younger women, maybe they're out target shooting, - I don't know, but I do know they do not go to the places I do.

While I would be more comfortable meeting someone off line, online gives me access to men that I simply don't have otherwise.
 Phyrus25
Joined: 10/12/2008
Msg: 42
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Dateing in the real world Vs Online
Posted: 12/7/2008 9:09:44 AM
90% of human communication is done through body language. Which would you prefer to see; an emodicon smiling or an actual person smiling? Both online and offline you will meet people who are lame, who are losers, mentally ill, without genuine interests, liars, petty, in distraught/disturbed states of life, selfish, selfless, bored, without self esteem, stuck living in their own heads instead of with others, friendless, momma's boys, daddy's spoiled little girl, hopeless, useless, single-minded and so the list goes on. Let it be said now that I think we are all mentally ill in the eyes of the right person just as much as there is one person out there who'd be our perfect match; I'm not as pessimistic as the list suggests, I'm just thorough and vivid. I think body language filters out people who we think are mentally ill from those we could stand and think are honest.

I also agree with the person who says online dating is too forced sometimes. This girl and I had e-mailed each other for about a week and they kept getting longer and longer but we both knew we were working to the point of Im-ing each other b/c she said she was studying in China. We were both e-mailing each other impulsively though, i.e. replying as soon as we received an e-mail. I got to the point where I was Im-ing her for the first time, quite unexpectedly I might add, and she suggested we turn on our web-cams. I told her no at first, not in so many words b/c I was afraid to say "no", but eventually I felt forced to suggest it myself b/c I didn't want to turn her off. We had been Im-ing each other for about 3 hours when we turned on the webcams. I thought it had been comfortable and casual enough, if you compensate for a lack of tone applied to words and body language when writing at a conversational way, but the webcam killed the whole mood. I'm not sure it killed the mood/feeling about our correspondence b/c it was too much too soon or if it was body language the webcam made available, probably a little of both.
 Nicolelovesme
Joined: 5/8/2008
Msg: 43
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Dateing in the real world Vs Online
Posted: 12/7/2008 9:14:14 AM
I prefer online dating. It takes more time. You actually get to talk to your potential partner before you meet. In the convential dating, I found I do not meet the right kind of people. I am looking for a LTR and find a lot of gents who are not. So online dating lets me separate those looking for 1ns and those looking for LTR and then make a decision. After intial email contact I usually IM them on yahoo for a few days and then we exchange number. After talking for a while longer then we meet. It eliminates a lot of the playboys and time wasters.

I have been on this site off and on for at least 3 months. I have met a few gents and I think I may have found that special gent for me. Though, I am not sure yet. So do not lose faith or hope with OLD. It works.
 guy richie
Joined: 10/8/2005
Msg: 44
Dateing in the real world Vs Online
Posted: 12/8/2008 7:49:34 PM
I finaly met a girl off of here last night and there were some sparks i could see. you those signs that you and the girl give off that your into each other even got a hug and a kiss on the mouth likea peck but made sure it was quick not to have her thing i was going for the whole thing. LOL well the next day i call se says hay you and we talk a bit then se tells me to call her later in te evening . well i called and theres no answer, so there ya have it another internet corn flake. any one got milk. to me internet dating is a waste of time and all that get to know your potential date is bull too cause u may like the person inside but sweety if you dont like the looks then its a no go and im betting thats what happen here.
 ~daisy~
Joined: 10/19/2008
Msg: 45
Dateing in the real world Vs Online
Posted: 12/8/2008 9:03:27 PM

well the next day i call se says hay you and we talk a bit then se tells me to call her later in te evening . well i called and theres no answer, so there ya have it another internet corn flake.

What?? Because she didn't answer one phone call? You cannot be serious!
 radiusman
Joined: 11/7/2008
Msg: 46
Dateing in the real world Vs Online
Posted: 12/9/2008 9:14:25 AM
Real life dating vs ONLINE Dating....

Real life..a. whole lot better


<div class='quote'>You actually get to talk to your potential partner before you meet.

That's meh, okay, I guess...but.....I prefer to get to know them WHILE they are there WITH me already!

I actually have women AGREEING to go out with me in real life as oppose to pulling teeth with these women I had met on dating sites....

I get tired of hearing, "I'm not sure...I'm not ready"

Or simply no responses to emails
When I go out, and there's some single women in a group, they flirts, actually listen to me, etc etc.
You MIGHT say they're a captured audience in real life. lol....they have NO choice but to listen to you and they can't hit any "Delete" key or "Block" button...it's geat!

Sadly though, I think some people are regressing from the real world and immersing themselves a little too much into the cyberworld. I've met a couple of people that actually avoid speed dating, singles galas, singles mixers downtown, etc.

They prefer the controlled environment of the internet, they LIKE the idea of ignoring people, hitting the block button, they control who they want to talk to, which really isn't healthy. I call that social regression.

Now, it's okay if you are just supplementing your dating with the online option, but I think some people depend/rely on it too much.

Ive seen some women complain how they dislike it when a man approached them in a gym, bookstore, or any public venue, because they are "too busy" or some lameness like that. So what do they do, run home as quickly as possible, lock the doors, and on a Sat night, curl up in front of their computers and log into their favorite dating site, and socialize that way.
 guy richie
Joined: 10/8/2005
Msg: 47
Dateing in the real world Vs Online
Posted: 12/9/2008 10:04:34 AM
No its called non social, people with low esteem do this mostly because of the fear of rejection or that they might get played by a player. so they relay on the internet as there way out and a new social life as they are not judged like real life does. what they dont understand is now the internet had cyber bulling going on and it is even on here. so that social life they are making online is going to get very small soon cause people seem not to be able to connect to others thru the net.

Lack of communication some times text doesnt work well. i see women mostly doing tons of text messages they cant keep the phone out of their hand fdor one minute always looking down at it waiting for there boy to call or friends to text them. so yeah the real world is better at least you can see if they are needy or have low esteem.
 Jacky Hilton
Joined: 12/10/2008
Msg: 48
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Dateing in the real world Vs Online
Posted: 12/14/2008 3:43:17 PM
Well mate i like meeting women in real life i dont have a problem with that issue. what i do havea problem with is meeting women online. so far its not easy and people are to picky i guess.

Women you meet in real world know if they like you the second that see you and what comes out your mouth also can be a factor if they want to keep knowing you or not. Online they can like your personality and all and even be real excited but when they meet you it can come down to oh man not what i thought he was. or she is. the thing is this happens way too much online and to me its a waist of time. thats why its better to do multidating online because you have a better chance of meeting some one who will like your looks ect.
 Gypsy Swing
Joined: 7/26/2008
Msg: 49
Dateing in the real world Vs Online
Posted: 12/14/2008 5:53:42 PM
Honestly its all about the details and mannerisms.I have met several people from this site that blew me away...when I initially looked at their profile I assumed I wouldn't be attracted to them at all....and vice versa.There are so many small things that can make a person irresistible to someone that you will NEVER see in an online profile.Most people in the online dating scene wont even give those things a chance if the profile doesn't look great to them.Just my experience.
 fanta33
Joined: 4/9/2008
Msg: 50
Dateing in the real world Vs Online
Posted: 12/14/2008 5:57:58 PM
I'm not sure I really even understand, I thought the point of the online was to just use it as a vehicle to access potential people that were possibly looking for the same thing as you. Then to use it to maybe to narrow things down a bit as far as the profiles and ims, but in the end the actual intent was to meet in person, right? I think it goes without saying most of us really prefer and want to meet people in real life, or at least you would think. But I guess the only real reason I use the online option is as I stated above. So you don't have to waste your time and energy going on endless dates with people you may not have anything in common with. I guess though that people don't use it that way so it becomes a lot more of a chore. I like the idea of being able to try and have an initial conversations with a person to determine if it is a good idea to meet but that's just me. Either way I think the goal is to meet in real life ultimately for me anyway, but with the online option it gives me a little bit of a heads up sometimes and believe me it has in a lot of cases. But I agree a lot of people use it for other things so I guess maybe it's starting to defeat it's purpose, LOL. These days I use it a lot more for the forums but I still manage to meet someone here and there, I guess it's just like everything else luck of the draw... LOL

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