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Pat78
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Joined: 8/29/2008
Msg: 27 | |
| Has internet dating changed you?
Posted: 12/5/2008 7:20:14 AM | From reading the replies I think some need to turn the computer of and unplug the internet connection and get themselves down the local speed dating or something because to go through that and to actually change as a person can't be a good think, unless of course its for the better.
Internet dating hasn't changed me, at the moment has made me happy and long may that continue but i am still the same person. I do think that if your low or depressed or a poor judge of character then internet dating is not the best place for you to be imo.
Good luck to all though. | |
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| Has internet dating changed you?
Posted: 12/5/2008 8:21:09 AM | Meeting people online on most dating sites : a complete waste of time
Meeting people on a couple of dating sites that aren't PoF : quite good, but not enough people on there.
In any case dating is predominently based on looks. It's ultimately down to someone you'd be happy to have sex with and that will always swing the balance in favour of anyone more attractive than the average.
Can't say it's changed me much, though, other than to be even less tolerant of people that try to mess me around. | |
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| Has internet dating changed you?
Posted: 12/5/2008 12:21:52 PM |
Internet dating is a headfcuk!!! I have turned into a woman I hardly know...I am now wary, suspicious, untrusting, cynical, unforgiving, less tolerant...and guess who made me that way...men on internet dating sites.
I now know what guys get up to whilst 'working at home', working, married guys, attached guys...I could go on...really opened up my eyes to the male psyche
have made some mates as well, not all bad here
Hey! Don't tar us all with the same brush!
In answer to the OP's question, I don't think it has. | |
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| Has internet dating changed you?
Posted: 12/5/2008 1:35:02 PM |
Well, in real life I never experienced a serious guy asking me whether I am ready for some adult fun, these things you ask prostitutes on the street and there is no moment that I would find this acceptable or 'normal', these people do not approach me in real life so why would I give them an opportunity to approach me online ?
Alma...this coming from a woman who has admitted previously to meeting scores of men within a reasonably short period of time on POF for dates which according to you were mostly lunchtime quickies (as in just meeting briefly to assess the man's suitability for further dating )...I cannot believe that with the numbers of men you've met online and then in real life following your online introduction to them that you would imagine that those same men did not agree to meet you without their first imagining that they considered you sexually attractive and held high hopes of being intimate with you at some stage should a relationship develop ??
And if in truth you've never been approached by a man who's intentions towards you were of a sexual nature in real life...I think you must not be very attractive in the flesh. I mean who hasn't had passes made at them in the real world ...you'd have to be rotten looking if that has not happened to you IMO !!
This is not how you are supposed to talk with a lady.. but it seems there is some 'fashion' going around where everyone is cool to be on loose.. modern or whatever.. people think just because you are online you are ready to accept these questions.. and I am personally not ready for that..
There are some guys, women included, who are just very upfront and lay it on the line...all you need to do is reject their advances if their being so upfront offends you. But for a lot of people flirting is the penultimate foreplay when establishing a friendship which might go further with a person upon meeting for real....if a man can't manage to make me giggle and blush and feel all girly online I'll cross him off my list of hopefuls to meet in the flesh.
There are ways and means of chatting people up and I'd agree that being disrespectful enough to ask you to get your tits out on webcam on a first chat is not the way to go but for crying out loud if you can't have a good laugh with someone and explore a little of what you both might be interested in online prior to meeting makes you both perverts..well that's just such a ridiculous idea.
Anyway as the dear departed Variola would say, it's all subjective and I'd be well dissappointed if I didn't manage to inspire naughtiness in a man I was chatting to. | |
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AlmaM
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Joined: 3/20/2008
Msg: 31 | |
| Has internet dating changed you?
Posted: 12/7/2008 3:10:01 PM |
I think it's opening my eyes and making me stronger.
That 'eye opening' bit I find worrying.
I think the bad experience does live a stamp on us, as in cases of children who are not afraid of dangers because they haven't seen many.. it is same with me.. I am naturally positive and optimistic but when I hear some of the bad stories or read about them then I feel like running away and closing into a shield and never coming out to this terrible awful world I have just seen. So you become more aware of the things you would never think about otherwise.. and this awareness kills a bit of positivism. | |
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| Has internet dating changed you?
Posted: 12/7/2008 4:00:00 PM | | I like it because you can shop around and get like 50 dates in one week, all while still sat at home in your underwear...drinking a beer...maybe I'll go get one right now! | |
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| Has internet dating changed you?
Posted: 12/7/2008 4:11:16 PM | Erm, not really, I realise that there are people on the internet just as in the real world who can't be honest if they try, who do just what it says on the tin, who are a bit strange, who are not on my wavelength, whose wavelength I'm not on, who are genuine and nice - variety of people just as in the real world.
Although I think some on the internet think they can own you after a message, which I've never experienced in real life, I've never had anyone come over all posessive and controlling after one conversation before.
It's not changed me no, I have my feet firmly on the ground. | |
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KBGB
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Joined: 11/1/2008
Msg: 35 | |
| Has internet dating changed you?
Posted: 12/7/2008 4:47:15 PM | How is it not 'for real'?
Everything you do, see, hear, touch think, taste, imagine changes you.
Internet dating is just an extension of technology that allows the masses to lie to each other on a grander scale. {or is he just being sarcastic?}
If these type of sites went offline for good 2moro, would their existence have changed your perception of people in the wider world?
When you start copying the parrot, its time to get your perch checked. | |
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| Has internet dating changed you?
Posted: 12/7/2008 5:41:24 PM | My children are what changed me, around 24hrs after i become a single mum and carry onto the older they are getting, not some dating site!
I don't log in often enough to let internet dating have much of an effect, these forums yes, dating no!
Sure i have met guys of some dating site or another, only 1, 8 months ago did i let get into any form of a relationship, YES, that 1 relationship made me open my eyes!, sit back and think!, made me not be so gulable i guess, whatever you want to call it.
He was in the bed with my girls, So yes, made me think twice to who i invite back to my home off a dating site and how far i trust a guy where the girls are concerned. (gee i nearly lost those girls via that 1 relationship!)
That doesn't mean to say i do not trust guys at all. But when the excuses start coming through thick n fast you know it's time to give it up anyway and get on with it, Internet dating changed me? No my views online are the same views i have in the real world no dating site where i meet a guy from will influence that or change me into some freaked up, scared out my mind 31yearold to frightened to move on because of past . ....Internet dating made me see the whole dating in many different ways . Oh hell yes!, reading posts in these forums can be an eye opener on the internet dating i reckon for many . | |
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AlmaM
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Joined: 3/20/2008
Msg: 37 | |
| Has internet dating changed you?
Posted: 12/8/2008 4:22:54 PM |
He was in the bed with my girls, So yes, made me think twice to who i invite back to my home off a dating site and how far i trust a guy where the girls are concerned. (gee i nearly lost those girls via that 1 relationship!)
Someone was in bed with your daughters??????
These little ones on your photo???
OMG !!!!
Have you reported this person to the police???? | |
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| Has internet dating changed you?
Posted: 12/8/2008 4:28:11 PM | I would hope so Alma, the mention of nearly loosing them made me think Social Services..
They always jump on an innocents back and ignore real cases such as those in the papers recently..
Social services are compelte an utter bolloxs...useless ****ers... | |
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| Has internet dating changed you?
Posted: 12/8/2008 5:01:02 PM | I wouldn't dream of suggesting sunnyside that you got what you deserve by inviting a dodgy character back to your domicile purely because it's your daughters who had to suffer and not you...how on earth could you have been so stupid ????
I get that some people are very persuasives but..oh no..you couldn't possibly invite someone back to where your children are supposed to feel safe and secure unless you've known them for a while or at the very least met them in them in the flesh where you might possibly be able to judge their suitability to an extent...
Aren't we as parent's supposed to be absolutely mindful of the dangers out there..I can't imagine a worse scenario than having to put a 'band aid' on the shite I've wrought upon my child's life by being thick and not choosy enough about whom I choose to commune with..
Sorry that you had to go through that sort of experience....sorry for your daugbters ..before you finally got a clue...
Very disturbing post you wrote. | |
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| Has internet dating changed you?
Posted: 12/8/2008 5:10:52 PM | It hasn't changed me as a person or my morals, no...
Has it opened my eyes....most definately!
When i first joined this site it was cos a mate mithered me
to have a nosey so i did!
I first joined in March 06 and met a guy in May 06 who i dated
for 12 months...unfortunately he turned out to be the biggest, lying,
cheat i have ever met!
I was naive and gullible...now i guess im just gullible 
Trouble is, its too much like a catalogue....one flaw and you're returned!
I want someone genuine that loves/likes me, faults an' all!
No-ones perfect and its usually the ones that are looking for perfection
that are far from perfect and unhappy with who they are... | |
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| Has internet dating changed you?
Posted: 12/8/2008 5:19:27 PM | I'm not sure if it has changed me, but it has certainly made me wonder a lot about things I thought were fairly true about myself. Until I started on t'internet dating, I thought I was a fairly attractive and interesting guy! Thankfully the lack of reply to 99% of the messages I send has cured me of that! 
Seriously though... I'd always thought of myself as a good communicator, both written and verbal, but I can't seem to get the hang of how to strike up a rapport on dating sites or MSN when trying to get to know someone. I reckon that's the reason I'm less successful on here than I am in real life at getting a date - in real life, I come across much better than I do in writing!
Somewhat related to that I guess is that I also considered myself a good judge of character, even on hardly any evidence. Sadly that hasn't worked out at all online, perhaps due to the lack of personal contact with anyone from this site... the nearest I had turned out to be a total fruitloop a couple of days before I'd planned to visit her!
But despite the poor response rate and the lack of success with the responses, I'm still the same daft bugger who signed up back at the start I guess! | |
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| Has internet dating changed you?
Posted: 12/8/2008 5:28:45 PM | | Internet dating for men is about as successful as germany was trying to take over britain lol. Theres too many men compared to women on dating sites, and because of this, theres plenty of men that get ignored and they can start having negative thoughts and wondering why they never get replies, which can lead to lower self esteem. Women on the other hand probably can't keep up with their keyboard because of what I mentioned above. They can be choosy because theres loads blokes for them. The sex ratio on Plenty of Fish is about 12 men to a woman. Does internet dating work? I'd say yes for women, and no for men. I'd say men would have much better luck throwing away their laptop and getting out there in the real world. Coming here for a chat is cool, just don't expect to find the love of your life, especially if your male! | |
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| Has internet dating changed you?
Posted: 12/9/2008 12:46:31 PM |
Someone was in bed with your daughters??????
These little ones on your photo???
OMG !!!!
Have you reported this person to the police????
Yes the little ones in the photo (which i know should not be on a site,but i get so many shocked messages from guys, the photo has stopped this alot ) And i didn't meet the guy on here.
OMG? - Hmm, well yes and no, at what point to you see something has innocently done and so defend that guy right to the end,?? Even when not with him. (He was in the bed with my 3 girls, INNOCENTLY reading them a story, has the day before he had taken my little one into the ball pool on his own) yes, he should not of been in the bed AT ALL with the girls, i agree. And yes i was too trusting.
(Because i defended that guy has i saw him do nothing indecent towards them, i nearly lost my children) And had i not seen him do this, well yes, i was lucky, i saw him and he never came back.We both still sent 6weeks of texts after, but hey oh never came back after that sunday morning when i saw him. And lucky also that the children when asked, never disclosed anything done indecent to them.
Reported him?- Yes, to social services, who then got child protection team involved, The RAF officer i told about this, i personally got him involved.
I was lucky, so many others out there are not !! and it made me less trusting where the children are concerned, for sure. So i guess internet dating has changed me where the children are concerned but not the way i see it has just me!
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| Has internet dating changed you?
Posted: 12/9/2008 1:01:30 PM |
got what you deserve by inviting a dodgy character back to your domicile purely because it's your daughters who had to suffer and not you...how on earth could you have been so stupid ????
Yes i see where you are coming from and very true , only i had been chatting with the RAF guy since March 07 on MSN, didn't exchange mobby no's till around oct 07 (he did his stint in Afghan) and didn't physically meet him till Jan 08.
The in bed with the girls happened April 08, when i saw him do what he did he obviously knew he had overstepped the bounderie in more than one way (has i did as a mum) he never came back, we never stopped chatting or txting till 6 weeks later, but like i say he never came back after that sunday morning. I didn't report it at the time has i saw him do nothing indecent, and trusted him with the girls to not do anything in anyway to harm them. Yes too trusting i was and stupid ontop, but then i have been brought up that you can trust a guy 'in uniform'!. (my dad's belief and my upbringing)
It wasn't untill oct 08 when my daughter just turned around and said 'mummy you know when we was in your bed with ****** and he was reading us that story, did you know he had no boxers on'' that all this started rolling and i had to report to relevant authorities.
Thankfully ALL sorted now so i can move on from this, alot more wiser and alot less trusting with guys where the girls are concerned.
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| Has internet dating changed you?
Posted: 12/9/2008 1:13:35 PM | At least you have learned a lesson from it, but don't start saying you trust men a lot less than you used too, because thats tarnishes decent people like me with a label because of another mans indecency. What you need to be is just a little more careful and follow your instincts  I did try to message you sweetsunnyside but your mail seetings won't let me  | |
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| Has internet dating changed you?
Posted: 12/9/2008 1:22:26 PM | I have become hooked on the forums.... Is this change.... Probably not as I have always loved a mass debate! 
With the exception of a few guys that I have met from here, and am still in contact with... I have become bored with the online dating scene. Very few of the guys that I am attracted to initially can hold a decent conversation. The ones that can hold a decent conversation , I would definately become friends with in "real life" if they lived locally to me, but they seem to want more, but unfortunately there is no attraction on my part... This is not necessarily about looks and definitely not about money!
So roll on moving to Swindon where I will have a good social life. I am grateful that this site has kept me sane when I have been living somewhere I dislike. No offense to people that live in Southampton, but its not the place for me. | |
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| Has internet dating changed you?
Posted: 12/9/2008 1:33:05 PM |
At least you have learned a lesson from it, but don't start saying you trust men a lot less than you used too, because thats tarnishes decent people like me with a label because of another mans indecency. What you need to be is just a little more careful and follow your instincts
Yes learnt i have!, Where the trust part is concerned, i am not saying i do not or will not trust the next guy that comes along, what i am meaning is i will have my eyes 'wide open' to the amount of trust i give a guy where the girls are concerned.
I did try to message you sweetsunnyside but your mail seetings won't let me
Do i sigh a big relief at that one, or is there a part of my 'do not contact me if you...' critieia you may want me to let you bypass??? 
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| Has internet dating changed you?
Posted: 12/9/2008 1:38:04 PM | | I miss your 'criteria' by one blooming year, how bad is that? lmao. Well if your sighing relief or not depends on what sort of bloke you like doesn't it? So what did Social services do abou it then? Was no charges brought agains't the guy? | |
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| Has internet dating changed you?
Posted: 12/9/2008 1:38:13 PM | I haven't met anyone yet (stranger-who've ive met on line). I have met people in general, I'm not bin laden-hiding in a cave.
General reason why i haven't,
1) haven't connected with anyone i've really wanted to meet
2) I do TRY with making up convo, but some women don't seem interested for what
ever reason...even though they may have send the first message (i didn't live up to expectations, lol)
3) I'm too laid back, i'm so relaxed i'm like agarden gnome. I tend to forget to speak | |
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