| You call this Dating?
Posted: 12/5/2008 3:34:09 PM | msg 50
If you can't flip the bill for that, then really, are you expecting to impress
someone you are meeting? Fully agree. If a you cannot afford to pay then you should not be dating.
Just my 98 cents  | |
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| You call this Dating?
Posted: 12/5/2008 3:39:43 PM |
I am thinking of giving up on dating. I had a date last weekend, he was nice at first, we chatted then he said lets go for Pizza at Pizza Hut, I said sure. We had a pizza and 2 drinks, then he asked for the bill. The next thing I know he is holding the bill right up to my face and says, you are just like all the other women, who use me. I grabbed the bill and paid for it, I was more than mad, and told him you do not put me in the category of other women. I left. I suppose this forum will be erased, since you cannot say anything about the Good Olde Boys.!
I wish I could say that you're kidding ,right? What a jerk.No,don't give up it obvious this guy has some serious issues.I read that he invited you....meaning he pays.If you wanted to offer to help pay ,fine but good manners (maybe I'm old fashioned) ,well he doesn't have any.The point is that if he wanted to split the bill he should have said so up front.If I did that my mom would come back from the grave to slap the hell out of me. | |
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| You call this Dating?
Posted: 12/5/2008 3:44:38 PM | Well....so much for that theory with women holding the exclusive license on going out with guys they know they're really not going to be attracted to anyway simply because "a girl's gotta eat!!"  Dammit all to hell!!! It's about TIME we started fighting back!!! | |
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| You call this Dating?
Posted: 12/5/2008 3:55:45 PM | This forum scares me, scares me badly.
Where is the context? Where is the conversation that happened throughout the dinner?
Are people so quick to slam, judge, and arbitrarily take sides based on so little information?
Did you know the guy before you went out with him? Was there a past history between you?
Did he mean it as a joke as you had just finished a conversation about expectations of women online?
Did he then see you got so mad he got scared that you were psycho and didn't come after you?
Did he come after you trying to get you to talk to him?
Was there any type of argument during dinner?
Did you talk at all during dinner or simply ignore him as you said "the next thing I know" and it doesn't seem like much happened between chatting before dinner, and his actions afterward?
Or at least right before the bill?
Was he drunk? Did they have an alcoholic beverage mixed with meds? Were they drunk before they met up with you?
The way I read it is they chatted, he was nice, they went to dinner, didn't say a word, just ate pizza and had a drink, he asked for the bill, then waved it in front of the OP's face making accusatory statements.
Is that really what happened? | |
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| You call this Dating?
Posted: 12/5/2008 4:00:07 PM | this is why I "just do coffee" when meeting for the first time. and I get there early and buy my own! if we seem to be getting along, the guy usually asks if he can buy me another and I think that's nice.
BTW, I agree with the poster who described herself as a "pizza snob." I'm a transplant from NY and I agree - you do not get good pizza at Pizza Hut! gotta be something in the water in the NY/NJ area that gives pizza that ZIP! | |
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| You call this Dating?
Posted: 12/5/2008 4:15:17 PM | Yes there are some whackos out there.
Between my two long marriages (before the internet stuff) I met a gal thru the newspaper.
We met at some restaurant.
I am 6’2” 185 pounds and ........... she was BIGGER THAN ME lol.
I had less than zero interest.
She started drilling me with questions that were none of her business. I just wanted to get it over and get out of there.
She leaned WAY OVER the table - looked me right in the eyes and said .......
“YOU BETTER NEVER AVOID MY QUESTIONS AGAIN”
I busted out laughing - I could not help myself lol. | |
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| You call this Dating?
Posted: 12/5/2008 4:23:19 PM | | Again it comes down to communication, pay for yourself. Makes it easier then there is no misunderstanding about who pays. | |
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| You call this Dating?
Posted: 12/5/2008 4:25:39 PM | | Sounds like a NUT CASE that has some unresolved issues................. | |
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| You call this Dating?
Posted: 12/5/2008 4:33:45 PM | | Rip his ballocs off OP, that guy is an dumbass for puling that movement. I wished you slashed pop all over him or something. He deserved it | |
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| You call this Dating?
Posted: 12/5/2008 4:47:23 PM | WOW, just now reading this thread....
I was always under the impression if you invited someone out to dine then you
pick up the tab...male or female period...
Since he had no intention of paying the bill he should have at least asked you
where you wanted to go or give you a choice!!!
Yikes!!! I hope I don't meet up with someone like him..... | |
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| You call this Dating?
Posted: 12/5/2008 5:17:23 PM |
Professionals in their 40s do not go to Pizza Hut for rendezvous. That should have been your first clue. Obviously this person could not afford to be dating.
If he had any consideration for another he would admit, beforehand, that he is in financial distress. Then it would be up to you to decide if that is alright. This was merely the actions of a loser.
According to reports, Warren Buffett wears the same battered old suit. He lives in the same house he always has in a modest neighborhood. He clips coupons. He stays in modest non five star hotels when he travels. He pays himself only a salary of 100K a year.
He's worth around 62 billion dollars.
When he talks about money, everyone stops to listen. If he decides he wants to call the President, the President stops to listen. When he feels like making a big decision about his money, his vast fortune, the ripple effect is felt in our entire economy.
I could see Warren Buffett taking a date to Pizza Hut.
Sometimes I see what women say, here and in day to day life, about money and dating and it makes me weary. In fact, the easiest way to see how important money is to a date isn't to obscure the issue, because most women will want to dig into your life anyway to see what you have or don't, it's by confronting it head on. Some people think not talking about money is the best way to avoid the infamous "gold diggers" , that's not true. The true gold diggers out there are more talented than that. They are like snakes in the grass. You don't see them coming. You don't find the truth inside the darkness, you find the truth by turning on the lights.
That being said, everyone on a date has a responsibility to be polite and decent and a kind host and guest. But because he was a bad date doesn't automatically mean you were a good one. Those are two separate and independent issues. There are two sides to every story, it doesn't excuse his behavior, but I doubt everything that happened was made evident here.
And even if all this guy could afford was Pizza Hut, taking the alternate universe setting where he was polite and made an effort to show some restraint and self control, what is wrong with that? If that's the best he could do or all he could afford, at least he's trying.
This morning when I was going into work, I saw a child in a wheelchair on the sidewalk while I was driving, . I'm kind of thinking here that seeing things like that, seeing a child who will never have all the opportunities as most children do their age, to know there are people out there who really suffer in life, is something worth being angry about. Not whether all a man can afford is to take you to Pizza Hut on a date. | |
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| You call this Dating?
Posted: 12/5/2008 5:21:07 PM |
this is why I "just do coffee" when meeting for the first time. and I get there early and buy my own! if we seem to be getting along, the guy usually asks if he can buy me another and I think that's nice.
Yep! Coffee, a drink, whatever - I'd rather just get there first, sit, relax and buy it for myself. So much easier, less hassle...and fairly inexpensive. | |
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| You call this Dating?
Posted: 12/5/2008 5:28:37 PM | Don't give up, i assure you there are gentlemen lurking about. According to my "Dating Rulebook From When Dinosaurs roamed the Earth", men just accepted the check, Without Whining, but even in todays dating, the person doing the asking is responsible for the check unless it has been previously to the date agreed upon to go "dutch". Maybe two beers fogged his brain   | |
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| You call this Dating?
Posted: 12/5/2008 5:29:40 PM | Did he ask for gas money too? Weren't there any signs of his tightness like squeaking while he walked?
What a jerk and at a Pizza Hut too????? | |
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custis
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Joined: 3/16/2005
Msg: 66 | |
| You call this Dating?
Posted: 12/5/2008 6:13:50 PM | | This guy has had something simmering in his shorts for a while and is probably just a plain old fashioned nutcase. Don't give up on dating. Just come to Oregon and date me instead. I promise I will pay for the pizza with a smile on my face. What the hell is a pizza compared to a sweet babe like you? | |
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| You call this Dating?
Posted: 12/5/2008 6:35:43 PM | Ok HE asked you for a Pizza! Then he doesn't even give you the chance to offer to go dutch or pay the whole thing? He just jumped to conclusion oh HELL NO.
See, on first dates, I always pay for my shit unless a guy insists he has it covered...but I always come prepared to pay for myself.
What a total JERK! Hope the rest of us don't run into him.
Good luck, there are good guys out there. | |
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| You call this Dating?
Posted: 12/5/2008 7:15:04 PM | OP -- ('Sorry to hear about your bad luck)
I would have just laughed, and said "well, you got me there -- I'm a real gold digger, too".
Then, I would have left him sitting there with the bill, and wondering where his cheese-y (and maybe pepperoni-y) plan went wrong.
But I NEVER would have paid even $0.05 for THAT bill.  | |
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| You call this Dating?
Posted: 12/5/2008 7:20:05 PM | | He was a women h-ater... I had a similur situation with someone i was dating, we went out for a couple slices of pizza and I got up to wash my hands and he paid, but I had offered to. He thought I was stiffing the bill. Complained later that night I took money he needed to feed his son, he use to also complain about driving to my place and useing his gas....lol Los-ers and women h-aters... broken homes....bad news... | |
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| You call this Dating?
Posted: 12/5/2008 7:22:48 PM |
Professionals in their 40s do not go to Pizza Hut for rendezvous. That should have been your first clue. Obviously this person could not afford to be dating.
Says who? I'm fine to go out just for a coffee to meet. If I don't like a guy, I won't let him pay for my dinner either because it is an expense and as a professional, I can afford to pay on my own. I have gone out with guys who make less money than me and they still offer to pay even though I know they can't really be affording to do this kind of thing but they do it anyway.
But if some guy put a bill in my face, started to go on about the costs of dating, or the way other women treat him.....it's dumpsville. That's just rude bitter and classless behavior. | |
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| You call this Dating?
Posted: 12/5/2008 7:43:35 PM | umm...actually, i kinda like pizza... pizza hut is cool in my books :)
annnd i gotta say, if someone can't afford to be dating - then he/they can always go some place where it doesn't cost much/anything... i don't think it means that they *shouldn't be dating* at all... dating is only for the wealthy? ... not the way i see it...
....re the date, rereading what happened, it actually sounds like he used YOU to get a free meal instead, no? after all, you were the one who ended up paying
maybe that was his plan all along, why he was so very rude....
norty chap   | |
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| You call this Dating?
Posted: 12/5/2008 7:56:20 PM | | I’m guessing there was no problem with Pizza Hut since you agreed to go there. The only misunderstanding looks like if he expected it to be dutch, he should have stated it upfront. It sounded like he wanted to put you through some sort of test to see if you’d pay or not. If that was the case he behaved poorly and you have every right to dismiss him. The one good thing about such behavior is knowing early he’s not for you. | |
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| You call this Dating?
Posted: 12/5/2008 8:10:16 PM | Oh my God.
Do not give up on dating because of one loser. I would have left the damned bill with him and said: "You want to generalize? Well guess what buddy the tab is on you!"
I would have just stormed out and left him there with the tab. What an ***hole. I mean out of common curteousy the two of you could have split the bill. If he didn't feel comfortable with paying for the two of you he didn't have to bring it to such level of rudeness. Usually, on most dates, you can tell when the guy wants to split. In those cases he won't usually have to "say" anything -- his actions will speak louder than words. Ugh, but how rude.
Next! | |
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| You call this Dating?
Posted: 12/5/2008 8:19:59 PM | Hey Jelica,
Dont give up on dating. Like everyone else said this is a rare case of a sucker (him) in a trout pond.
I used to live in Kelowna its too bad I moved..lol
Good luck | |
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| You call this Dating?
Posted: 12/5/2008 8:23:16 PM | | hahahahahahahaha!!!! Sounds like one who got pissed because I didn't have sex with him...We actually met twice - the first date, we met at a public place for conversation and drinks...I didn't fall head over heels but I liked him enough to accept his invite for dinner at his place for our second...And that was all it was - dinner, more conversation, and some laughs...Both dates were pretty enjoyable actually...I left his place thinking that he was a pretty decent guy...THEN BAM! I get a text within an hour of leaving..."You are just like all the "others"...using your womanliness (yes, he actually said "womanliness") to manipulate men"....WHOA!!!! Talk about schizoid behavior!...He proceeded with his "text attack" and I ignored him...He eventually stopped harassing me...PHEW - and I thought he was a nice guy!...I feel bad for the poor girl he dates next!...I haven't given up on dating though...I learn something from everything - including both good and bad dating experiences... | |
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