| You call this Dating?
Posted: 12/6/2008 10:05:54 AM | ^^^^ Glad to get confirmation that probably at least half the women on here are not normal and have mental problems, because they certainly expect to be paid for for the dubious pleasure of merely meeting them for the first time.
But, yea, you cut your deal going in, not when exiting. | |
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| You call this Dating?
Posted: 12/6/2008 10:22:44 AM |
It may be pretentious if YOU stated this; it is not pretentious for me to state for that is how I see it…I have my opinions…..you have yours. Our expectations are different; no reason for you to judge me. I didn't judge YOU I voiced my OPINION on what you had to SAY. Apparently you're entitled to your opinions, but mine are inconsequencial.
And your “obvious” statements are presumptuous and meant to excuse boorish behavior; I pressume nothing nor do I condone his behaviour as you have presumed.. I'm going by what was in the Opost e.g.:
The next thing I know he is holding the bill right up to my face and says, you are just like all the other women, who use me. Sounds like a frustrated person to me! Further: You forgot that you PRESUMED that "professionals" would not take someone out for pizza lol. Am I to presume then that ALL "professionls" would find going out for pizza below them? Or, is that just your opinion??
Be more decerning To who's standards? Yours? You forget she was fine with the venue whereas it appears more of a concern than anything to you..
first meeting is entitled to: courtesy; common courtesy Agreed.
Pretentious statements aren't pretentious to pretentious people.
just like entitlement chicks don't think that they are gold diggers. Also agreed! | |
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| You call this Dating?
Posted: 12/6/2008 10:38:57 AM | | May as well add my 98 cents. I dated someone who suggested a very expensive restaurant for our very first meeting and I said OK. I offered to pay half as I always do and he let me. He continued to let me pay half on a few subsequent dinner dates, one where I picked the place and I another where he did. Then one night he called and asked me out at the spur of the moment to meet him at a local chain for dinner, which I did. As always I offered to pay half and he acted like it was an established thing and he let me. I kinda felt in that instance he could've offered to pay, it wasn't an expensive place at all and he had asked me to meet him at the last minute. He also was better off financially than I was. Unfortunately little things like that sometimes get in the way of dating, but there were other things also, not just that, that ended it. | |
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| You call this Dating?
Posted: 12/6/2008 10:57:45 AM | I would pay, thank you for the nice chat and vanish.
But on the other hand I dont know what you did to make him feel like a moneybag. | |
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| You call this Dating?
Posted: 12/6/2008 10:59:34 AM | Understood Moto. I have split the bill or paid for at least my protion of it. AS well as paid the whole bill. Makes it easier to go out more. I would not go any where I could not afford to go. Dating should be 2 fold. In choosing the palces and what they are doing. No one peson should make ALL the decisions. It's only fair.  | |
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| You call this Dating?
Posted: 12/6/2008 11:19:45 AM | How is it you're single? What a catch!
LOL, hey that's a good one. obviously she thinks she's too *hot* for most of the men on here. | |
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| You call this Dating?
Posted: 12/6/2008 1:50:48 PM | {Qoute} Glad to get confirmation that probably at least half the women here are not normal? and have mental problems? *because they certainly expect to be paid for for dubious pleasure of merely meeting them for the first time.... Are you speaking about prostitutes first meeting money down?? If I am a man and I invited a lady for a date ,I expected that I pay for her food and drinks . The gauge of strong manly man is what he do and provide for a woman that is his strategy for hooking a good woman,if it is pizza that I can afford to offer her that is the way it goes and I am not apologizing that I can not take her to a posh restaurant because my cash flow won't permit. And as a woman I have to see to it that I am pleasing and enticing to his eyes and what I can do to make my self worthy to him. Cutting my deal going in ? No way,it is a NO CUT deal and it is a fair deal....Even exiting.
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| You call this Dating?
Posted: 12/6/2008 2:14:12 PM | The bigger issue with this back and forth about dating behavior comes down to open communication.
If you’re one to follow classical dating roles and want to fulfill yours (men: to take the lead, be the first to ask a date, and pay for everything, and women: to allow men to do this), simply state so upfront? I don’t think many women have a problem with men paying for everything -- taking the lead in picking where to go and what to do might be a tad too controlling, though. But if many women are perfectly OK with this arrangement and want the roles undiluted and perpetual, just say so in the beginning. It would save many guys that think like me (those that rebel against these standard dating roles) the time and expense of finding out later. Instead I find it amazing how many women give mixed signals, and say one thing in private between friends and something totally different in public or in an open forum like this.
I chalk it up to most women don’t want to come across as looking sexist, shallow, and money-grubbing, so stick to the PC line when everyone is watching.
All I know is I date women, so know a bit about their behavior, and from what I’ve experienced there is a large disconnect between what women perceive their views are and dating reality. | |
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| You call this Dating?
Posted: 12/6/2008 2:54:00 PM | Well all i can say to him and many other men like that
Thank you for making the rest of us look like real gentlemen
I'm sorry Jelica that you were treated like that... No one deserves that ...man or woman
J | |
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| You call this Dating?
Posted: 12/6/2008 2:56:15 PM | | Always insist on separate bills upfront. It saves a lot of trouble. | |
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| You call this Dating?
Posted: 12/6/2008 3:01:35 PM | | This guy is a user who needed a free meal. He hates women and wanted to humiliate you. Next time just go for coffee or drinks in a place that has a crowd, and make an assessment. I also have had some bad experiences and I am quite reserved about who I correspond with. Too many guys do the e-mail endless thing. I would rather meet see what's up and if there is no chemistry...move on. | |
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| You call this Dating?
Posted: 12/6/2008 4:47:07 PM | | WoW! That is a kick!! Pizza Hut blew his wad huh? I do think he may have been alergic to the cheese or something. Sounds like you got out at a good time to me. Should have left the bill though. | |
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| You call this Dating?
Posted: 12/6/2008 9:09:38 PM | | LOL...He thought you used him for some Pizza Hut, huh? Times are rough, but Damn!!!!! | |
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| You call this Dating?
Posted: 12/7/2008 12:10:27 AM | at least he could have waited for the third or forth date to have said that.
You shouldn't have paid for his part of the pizza. You should have left half of it and walk away | |
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| You call this Dating?
Posted: 12/7/2008 5:06:05 AM | Based on my own past experiences, DO NOT EVER meet for dinner on a 1st date. Reviewing a profile and pics and speaking on the phone doesn't mean anything until you actually meet in person. Meeting someone from online is still meeting a stranger and you may connect online but in person, it's an entirely different story.
You did what you felt compelled to do. I mean, it's stupid pizza hut not a 4star restaurant. He was a rude and stupid idiot that was disrespectful and you reacted to just pay the bill to show him this was no big deal, he's a big loser and you got the hell out! He sounded like a freak and perhaps if you would have not paid, he would have run after you and made a scene - who knows? You elimnated all possibilities of this by paying and I might have done the same thing depending on how much of a weirdo I thought he was at the time.
Based on his behavior, I think he's sick of dating too but that is a completely retarded and "loser-like" way of showing it.
Take a break from dating and then when you see someone you're interested in, date him but for the love of god, DO NOT ever meet someone that you don't know for dinner again - do coffee or 1 drink and make it as brief as possible and save yourself another bad experience.
Dating should be fun and not like a dentist appointment or a therapy session so I'll end this and tell you to be glad you found out he was an idiot on the 1st date and not the 1st year. Keep on phishing or allow yourself to be phished - when it's the right person, you'll know it and he'll know it and your past experiences will be nothing but a bunch of funny jokes. | |
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| You call this Dating?
Posted: 12/7/2008 8:01:06 AM | In summary:
it was a date, not dating - just about everyone has at least one 'clinker'. In the continuum of wonderful dates (1) to absolutely scary dates (10), this was barely a 5
Either the guy was 'calculating' and made his little scene to get you to pay - which means he's a manipulator and you fell for it. This would make him the male equivalent of women who use men to take them out just so they can get out for free.
Or, the guy could have been a psycho and made his little scene because he has serious mysoginist beliefs - which makes him a woman hater and you don't come off much better with your quip about the "good Olde Boys" {sic}
You have a pretty low tolerance for disappointment to give up on dating from one bad date. Maybe take some time off and get an attitude adjustment. Then, you'll be able to be more discriminating. We often 'see' what we look for.
Plenty of "professionals" (whatever Splendere meant by that) eat at Pizza Hut (and other fast food). The choice of that particular restaurant means nothing about his finances. Or the finances of anyone else who chooses to eat/meet there.
The debate continues about who should pay/how to confirm who pays on the first date. Bottomline:
either expressly confirm who will pay, or
don't assume the guy will/should pay and bring enough money to pay, and
don't agree to anywhere you are not willing/able to pay the entire bill.
Thank goodness this thread is only 5 pages long. I'd hate to produce Cliff Notes for one of those 50 page threads ;-) | |
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| You call this Dating?
Posted: 12/7/2008 12:33:49 PM | | First date, if its more than a drink, I usually will pay. That way I don't feel obligated - don't have to put out, kiss them, or feel guilty... I always say "you can get the next one".... even if I know full well that I don't want to see them again. | |
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| You call this Dating?
Posted: 12/7/2008 12:37:09 PM | wow! what a jackass! glad you left!
beautiful great dane by the way! | |
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| You call this Dating?
Posted: 12/13/2008 2:11:42 PM | Oh Jelica, you seem to have some problem. I read a lot of your posts and they are all complaints. You look ok in your photo but where does all this negative stuff arise. I wish I could help you. | |
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| You call this Dating?
Posted: 12/13/2008 2:17:39 PM | | Pizza Hut? Are you kidding me? Cheapness follows a person in other areas of his personality. Thank god you didn't have sex with this guy. Could you imagine how he would have handled the oral exchange? | |
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| You call this Dating?
Posted: 12/13/2008 2:54:28 PM | Rarely do you run into people that for no reason turn on you. So you were having a nice conversation and out of the blue he shoves the bill in your face and says you are just like all the other women????? So what really happened, this just sounds fishy to me. And why would you get mad? Especially if it was such a nice time? Nope, something is wrong here!!!!!
Sounds to me like g/f is a user and got caught. | |
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| You call this Dating?
Posted: 1/26/2009 11:02:15 PM | Hey,, do not blame me for his stupidity... Please.
I knew a young man 30 years ago that had been so badly hurt that he hated everybody... he showed up at my door one sunday afternoon in june and my wife and i invited him in for coffee.. He told me of a job vacancy he knew about and we worked together for 15 years. He finally met a wonderful lady , got married , and moved on with his life... moral--- maybe your guy was nice but just toooo badly stung (maybe you inadvertantly said something that triggered his baggage----- you could not have knowen) You are a very beautiful person, do not let something like this destroy you like it has him. | |
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| You call this Dating?
Posted: 1/26/2009 11:38:46 PM | | let me ask....didn't you see this coming earlier in the date, in your conversations with him online or the phone? sounds like you need to do some more pre-screening, i don't think most men (or women) are so rude..... | |
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