| I THINK IM crazy
Posted: 12/7/2008 1:11:34 PM | Boy your bing tough on me are you daisy!!!!! I did learn on that one o1 that she was not my responsiblity any more. Regardless of how broke she was because she wont keep a job. As far as not still being married to her I learned that a long time ago daisy but I felt bad for her at the time. I am soft hearted and she know's it. So I done what any level headed man probably would not have done. I bought her some things she said she needed.
She didn't need any food items she said. She told me her mother had bought her enough groceries and she was stocked up with food. So, I though okay I'll help her out and so I did. But when she moved the dude back in the house with her in less than a week. That really set me on fire. I called her about 10pm on a Saturday to check on her and she had to whisper. Her boyfriend was back and was there. I found out in about three more days he was living there again.
I realized that she had just "used me" to get some things they could not afford to pay for. So, I was really one not so happy camper at her and I really told her so. Even her mother apologized for her but she thanked me for helping her like I did.
I did close the door completely on that one daisypetals01 and completely. She called me last month on my birthday whising me happy birthday. She even hinted for us to meet and talk. She was thinking that her marriage plans with the same dude were not going to work out. I simply declined and let it go at that.
I am a divorced man, I am a divorved man, i am a divorced man, i am a divorced man...lol lol lol lol.......    | |
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| I THINK IM crazy
Posted: 12/7/2008 1:29:49 PM | I have consulted the madometer OP. The needle levelled out at bonkers & stone, after straying briefly to barely chartered territory of fevered delirium..
Perhaps your just too nice
Now, how would you like bake me some chocolate cookies please as i am also in need.
Gravous need
psst double choc uns :D easy on the nuts though ;) | |
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Posted: 12/7/2008 2:02:06 PM | Thank you, freeneasy! You need it...badly!
There is a forum on here called Broken Hearts. Look at the thread called "So you want a second chance"
It's not the wanting a 2nd chance with her, it's about healing and letting go.....and feeling good about it.
After your last two posts on here (I am going to gag) I think you need to get over her.
Close the door and don't even talk to her about ANYTHING.
Stay away from her house, too!!! You have no business being there.
Some women keep the ex as friends so that they can run to him when the big bad world is not so nice. Do you want to be a USEFUL FRIEND?
Keep saying that mantra:
I am a divorced man. A hundred times a day. | |
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Posted: 12/7/2008 2:55:00 PM | Now daisypetal01 I didnt mean to make you puke nearly. I am over her by the way and have been. But last spring she called crying and telling me how bad she was having it and wanted to know would I buy her dinner. So I met her and bought dinner and listened to her whine. Knowing how soft hearted I am she laid it on big time. I really felt sorry for her and gave in to buy her some things. That was on I think a Tuesday night and that is when I bought her the things. The following Saturday night is when I called her to see if she was okay. Something was telling me to make that call. So I did and when she answered she was whispering. Her reason was Michael was asleep and she didnt want to wake him up. That just burnt me up. That is when I lost it with her. I knew then I had been had as to say. I really got mad at her. She had already let him move back in with her. Less than a week after I did the good deed as to say. lol lol...
As for me being over her I am totally over her daisy. She has been gone since April of 2003. I have not been to her house in well over 3 years now and dont have any intentions of going. I dont have a clue as to where she lives now. Her and the live in boyfriend who used the toilet paper supposedly got a house together. How do I know. She called me last Nov. 20th to wish me happy birthday. She said the community where she moved but it is big and I didn't ask the location. I dont want to know either.
There are people who know about me buying the stuff. I catch the devil from them still. They ask me have I been buying any more things for my ex wife's boy friend. They also want to know when I am going to buy them some things they need. I have caught the devil a lot because of it. All in good clean fun of course. Nobody has a been ugly as to say. Just joking me real heavy.
Daisy I have a good and loveable heart. I have always been that way. I got that from hy daddy. He would give you his shirt if you asked him for it. I have done good things for people lots of times and asked nothing in return. The thought of some body being hungry worries me real bad. I have done house repairs, plumbing, and other repairs for people and never asked for anything in return. But that one time when the stars came out for the night I knew I had been "TOOK" but the ol ex wife and her whinning.
I dont have a broken heart Daisy. I dont have anybody to be broken hearted over. I've not had but one date in the last nearly 2 years now. So, that kind of leaves me out of the ol love scene and heart break state.
Your are alright daisy my dear. Thanks for being tough on me instead of padding me along with how sorry you were for me. I promise you I will keep saying that phrase you have here.
I am divorced, i am divorced, i am divorced at least a 100 times a day. Even though I dont have any body to use me or take advantage of me at the present time. I will still say that a 100 times a day. That shopping spree broke me of doing that big time for her. I honestly cant say I would not help you if you needed it. I am just that way daisypetal01. I inherited that way you know....Very softhearted....To soft hearted..... | |
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Posted: 12/7/2008 5:00:09 PM | Freeneasy, see you got took, only for 88 bucks, however it still peeved you, and had you been sitting with dear ex wife, and "michael" called, you most certainly wouldn't have went out to be so kind.
Did you have an agenda for your ex??? Was there some expectation of manipulating her into doing something, or changing in some way; OR did you sincerely believe that she was down on her luck, and with a little help she would get back up.
The OP, got notice before she made the HUGE mistake of getting a loan, and even though there are POSTERS that think she should have followed through because SHE made a promise.
There was no contract to her being kind, and therefore her finding out that he was just going to use her, then leave her with 1000 plus interest, also trying to feed and keep a roof over their childrens head. She got smart, and learned a valuable lesson, and that is her EX has no qualms on using her for his own purpose, and will manipulate her through her soft heart.
I think most of us can agree it was good the OP didn't get the loan, and found out before hand; even if it is just for the future of her kids, that she keeps good credit, and not extended with a loan she could ill afford.
I do agree that to soft heart can = to soft headed... | |
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Posted: 12/7/2008 6:23:49 PM |
dont have a broken heart Daisy. I dont have anybody to be broken hearted over. I've not had but one date in the last nearly 2 years now. So, that kind of leaves me out of the ol love scene and heart break state.
WHAT! You dare appeal to my heartstrings?
Ok Ok...it's ancient history....but you still have to repeat that mantra....AND...get out dating, man!
There is nothing wrong with being soft-hearted...just be so for the right reasons. Enabling bad behaviour is not a good reason. | |
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Posted: 12/7/2008 6:37:15 PM | | Your not nuts your just a complete sucker and hes taking advantage of that. Maybe to lighten it a bit your a good friend and thats what good friends would do. | |
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Posted: 12/7/2008 6:39:56 PM | | why not just take a look at what others are saying, maybe you can grow from the insightful comments? | |
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Posted: 12/7/2008 9:50:25 PM | Freeneasy, see you got took, only for 88 bucks, however it still peeved you, and had you been sitting with dear ex wife, and "michael" called, you most certainly wouldn't have went out to be so kind.
Did you have an agenda for your ex??? Was there some expectation of manipulating her into doing something, or changing in some way; OR did you sincerely believe that she was down on her luck, and with a little help she would get back up.
nexthyme she was deffinitely down on her luck. She had lost the Jeep Liberty we had to repossesion, lost the best job she could have ever had with the best company and people she will ever find because of her own messing up, and had filed bankruptcy. I really felt sorry for her at that time. She would call me crying and falling all to pieces form the problems she was facing. But she is the one who didn't want to stay married and just walked out and left. This Michael had kicked her out of the house they were living in. He told her to leave and she did. She had got an apartment and was having a hard time getting things she needed. So she calls ol soft hearted me and asks me to buy her dinner for her. She tells me at the restaurant about her mother buying her a stock of groceries. So I was relieved that she had food. She kept talking about how she had no bathroom supplies like soap, tissues, and all kinds of things a woman need. So ol soft hearted me tells her okay lets to to Wal Mart and I'll get you some things. That was on Tuesday. On Saturday she had her Michael in her apartment with her.
That is when I knew I was totally used by her. However he moved away for a while. She kept trying to get me to come visit her but I refused to and wont ever again. That was enough for me. I dont want to be around her any more for any reason.
There is a lot more to the reason as to why I dont want to ever be with her again but the subject matter might make some body on here mad. It's not just the money I spent on her for things she really needed. It is really gets personal. | |
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Posted: 12/7/2008 10:07:38 PM | just wanna know from you & guys like you with 'these' women ..Ok plse tell me what exactly is it they have? when u give them money & gifts do u get 'favors'??? do they hatch golden eggs? do they do your housework,wash ur car, perform fellatio, make you dinner and whip up fresh desserts?? Do there crotches smell like everything wonderful while they perform whatever freakish act you wish??
WAIT I know they are sweet & gentle & manipulative..geesus I think I can , I think I can...............nope.maybeeeeee...NOT
NO mzsomebody there was no sexual favors from her. Heck I was married to her. She is very pretty from head to toes. I mean if looks were all it took then she was a winner for sure. But her mean hateful ways would kill anybody's desires for her. As for cooking my dinner she was one of the best I have ever met. She could make gourmet meals out of hot dogs. I was in total disbelief when she sat the first hot dog meal down to me. She was amazing in the kitchen. She could make meal like I have never seen before and wont again unless she fixes it. As for the sex when we were married it was great. So no sexual favors for buying the things for her. She got in her car and went home and I got into my car and came home the night I bought the stuff for her.
I've never requested any woman to do anything for me sexually for doing things for her. I have always figured the sex would come if they were interested in me. I just never thought about trading favors for sex, dates, meals, or what ever. No golden eggs either, no house work, no wash my car, fellatio, make me dinner deals, or anything.
I'm not into the freakish acts with sex. I do like lots of thing like most people surely do but not to the point of freakish. I am just a normal man that like lots of things but surely not freakish. That is out of my league there.
I have done things for women that I have dated and never expected to be repaid in anyway. I dated a young woman once and I had a really good job with very good pay. She was down on her luck and we had gone out. While she was in another room I slipped money in her purse and didn't mention it. Of course I left and the next day when she found the money she called me to ask about it. I told her I had no idea how she got that money. She never knew. I had a large amount of money and never missed one dime of it. If I give some body something it is theirs. What and how they do with it usually is their business. But the ol ex wife should not have pulled the wool over my eyes like she did. That was just a no no to me. | |
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Posted: 12/7/2008 10:07:45 PM | NGAT73: You are really quite an odd, angry bimbo, aren't you?  | |
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Posted: 12/7/2008 10:24:14 PM | WHAT! You dare appeal to my heartstrings?
Ok Ok...it's ancient history....but you still have to repeat that mantra....AND...get out dating, man!
There is nothing wrong with being soft-hearted...just be so for the right reasons. Enabling bad behaviour is not a good reason.
daisypetals01 forgive me for appealing to your heart strings...lol lol
If you only knew 01 the pain and suffering she caused me you would understand why it is ancient history. And I do mean ancient history. I will repeat that mantra over and over too.
I cant do much about the soft hearted ness. I got it from my daddy too. He was a real softie in the heart. He had a small country store and would sell people who he knew were never gong to pay him for the stuff on "credit". He would make me mad at him for doing it. He sat me down and had a long talk with me. He grew up in the great depression and had to work for nothing all day just to get something to eat. Not hardly ever any money. Just food. She said they liked to have starved to death. His daddy lost every thing he had because of the depression. He tole me he would not ever let anybody go hungry because they didn't have any money. He had lot to say to me about that in that long talk in that little store. I got up from that talk with a totally different view of people and how to treat them. I started giving and selling thing on credit to people and most of them paid. A few didn't but we never missed it any way.
As for dating. Women just wont date a man who is not "gainfully employed". I am on Social Security and retirement from my former job. I draw more money than a lot of women make working that I approach. I know where they work so I know how the income is difference. I dont want to elobrate or brag but I do pretty good for a living. The only thing is I am not "gainfully employed" and that just kill the hell out of me with women. I have been told by several women that they know men who are drawing money just like me and they dont get but so much money a month. Then they question me on just how do I draq so much. The amount it not mentioned. But because most people draw small amounts they think everybody does. That income is based on how much money you made working and that makes a huge difference in how much a person draws. But nobody believes me and just dont want to date me. I am supposedly looking for a "Nurse and Purse" situation so they tell me. I dont need either one at the present time.
So, I stay home and play on the computer, go out to dinner by myself, and come home. But I live a good life and am happy. I could be a lot happier with friends and especially a good woman friends who would understand where I am at and why I am where I am at in life....... | |
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Posted: 12/7/2008 10:32:10 PM | OP: Crazy? No
Maybe a bit misguided? Definitely.
Even though he's now an ex, there's always going to be "some" feelings. Especially since children are involved.
Being such, you want your children to have the best possible viewpoint of their father and don't want his short-comings to affect their holidays.
So, you thought that a loan would help him out and give him the opportunity to buy your kids something. Obviously, you already expected that it would be YOU to re-pay the loan.
What you may have overlooked.....................
You can buy presents for your kids and put daddy's name on them.
This prevents you from going into any debt for an ex, keeps you out of his financial woes, and gives your children the best possible X-mas. | |
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Posted: 12/7/2008 10:55:33 PM | Me too................................................................. | |
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Posted: 12/8/2008 1:05:51 AM | how would you like bake me some chocolate cookies I would accutally make them i like to bake and if you needed the boost why not...  | |
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ngat73
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Joined: 6/10/2007
Msg: 114 | |
| I THINK IM crazy
Posted: 12/8/2008 7:53:21 AM | postingonaslowday:
NGAT73: You are really quite an odd, angry bimbo, aren't you?
Yes, I can be a little eccentric but it comes from being worldly and intellectual. :) Not a bimbo, however many men online and in real life request my company so I do date a lot. Went on a blind date my neighbors girlfriend set me up last night...no kiss good night or anything but I did let the guy massage me. I have chronic lower back and neck pain. Why is my sexuality an issue for you? Past rape or molestation issues? Men treat you badly? Projecting?
He didn't leave my place until three and he texted me this morning to say he had three hours of sleep. I asked him if he was okay to drive and he said yes but I would have allowed him to sleep in my bed because I slept on the couch, but no sex, not even a kiss good night. He said he had to leave because he was too horny. What can I say, he is a man.
Sometimes I can be angry, just human and I do the best I can? If you had liquids coming out on both ends of your body from every hole and on the rag I am sure you would be a little pissy. So, possibly.
You seem a little pissy yourself? Why have a profile just to go rag on the forumns and say anything when you think it is dumb for people to fill out the "about me" section. I don't mind being judged by strangers, but put yourself out there before you make snide comments. You must be very insecure about something. Some serious issue or misguidence? I don't know...I am not getting paid and not your therapist. Bimbo? No, unfortunately for many men. I have two men upset at me from Saturday night because they wanted me to be available for them to "spend some time together". I was busy and than wanted a little action on the tables and am not readily available for men on the drop of a dime that want to get into my pants. I am an experienced woman in my mid thirties, just because I am comfortable with my sexuality does not mean I am a bimbo. Does drinking and partying make me a bimbo or was that emotion-con ending your short idiotic message an explanation of your state of mind? I don't have children so I don't really need to justify my lifestyle to anyone, do I?
BTW----OP I want some cookies too.
OMG-Just read postingonaslowday's posting on some rape subject. I may be right on. Saying "no is a relationship killer"....He he he. Funny. You have got to be kidding or insane, or insanely stupid and ignorant or oblivious to loving relationships. You have got to be the one messed up or a dude (states you are a 40 woman) fucking around. And you called me odd? Well maybe but your dumb as shit and don't make any sense. I am all over the place because of my ADD but I am still logical. He he he. Of course online, you have the audacity to talk shit. Wonder what you are like in real life...maybe that is why you are hesitant to say something about yourself. Don't like yourself? I love myself despite all my downfalls...thank you very much! :) | |
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Posted: 12/8/2008 1:47:49 PM | Freeneasy...
I cant do much about the soft hearted ness.
Yours is an honest softheartedness, going by the posts you wrote. It comes from the heart. You didn't ask for anything back...except maybe respect.
Thank you for your story. You sure know how to pull at those heartstrings! 
I wish that the rotten people in this world would not find people like you, but that seems to be the balancing equation.
Take care..and I do hope that you will find a woman who knows that you are a gem. She won't care that you are not "gainfully employed". There are sweethearts out there. You just have to see them.
Hint: Make sure that the ex is totally out of your mind, too.
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Posted: 12/8/2008 1:48:20 PM | Freeneasy...
I cant do much about the soft hearted ness.
Yours is an honest softheartedness, going by the posts you wrote. It comes from the heart. You didn't ask for anything back...except maybe respect.
Thank you for your story. You sure know how to pull at those heartstrings!
I wish that the rotten people in this world would not find people like you, but that seems to be the balancing equation.
Take care..and I do hope that you will find a woman who knows that you are a gem. She won't care that you are not "gainfully employed". There are sweethearts out there. You just have to see them.
Hint: Make sure that the ex is totally out of your mind, too.
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Posted: 12/8/2008 3:08:56 PM | Hi daisy, the ex is totally out of my mind. I dont want anything else to do with her. She called me on Nov. 4th about the elecetion. She hinted that we should get together and I totally ignored the hints. She knew It was not going to happen. I've had enough of that kind of treatment from her. Anybody esle too. But you never know what some body is going to do until you deal with them.....
Well 01 from you picture those heart strings would be some really great one's to pull on. I dont have much when it comes to looks but I am a good person. Looks seems to win out over goodness most of the time. If a man dont pass the looks test then the goodness test never comes about you know. Especially if he is not "gainfully employed".
I seem to go for the rotten people. That ol saying "if you keep on doing what you have always done you will keep getting the same thing you've always got" is true. I seem to attract women who are that way. I just dont know why.
If you knew the whole story about the ex you would understand why I dont really want anything to do with her. It gets personal about some things that I dont want to post on here.
My note: the ex is 100% out of my mind as far as wanting a reunion with her. She has been for a long time now.     | |
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Posted: 12/8/2008 3:20:49 PM | I forgot to tell you daisy01 when I did something for a woman or an older couple or older single person. I never asked for anything in return. That took all the goodness out of giving and that is what goodness is all about. Giving and not taking. I learned that from my daddy at his little country store. Him and my mother grew up with nothing, ended up with lots, raised me and my sister on a silver platter, and was very happy. He said he didn't want to see anybody have to live through what they did. so he passed it on to me. I give my son my whole house of furniture last May. He got married, needed it, I was not using it, and it is his now. He called me tonight wanting me to get him a comfortor for his new bed. Well ol dad said "you got to come and get it. Dad dont feel like bringing it to you". Now, I'll see how long it takes him to come and get it. Most likely i'll end up taking it to them.....I love my son and grandson and daughter in law too....
I am divorced, I am divorced, I am divorced. My son was worried I would get back together with the ex. She was not his bio mother. She left when I got down and sick and my boy was almost 5 years old. Both the exe's are out of my mind.
I am divorved, i am divorced, i am divorved.....and so the ol saying goes I am divorved....lol lol lol......   | |
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Posted: 12/8/2008 3:34:53 PM | NO .. you are really nuts for helping someone out, albeit an ex. If you want to help him, do it regardless of judgement and do it unconditionally.
Being NUTS is flip flopping on your decision. Any negative opinion or judgement towards him is because you have not detached yourself completely; mentality and emotionally.
Either give him the money to help him out and dont say anything.
Or tell him you dont feel comfortable doing it and close the chapter and move on.
In fact .... to detach yourself emotionally .. dont even read or anwer anymore of these thread ..
Blessings.
CD | |
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