| first date sex
Posted: 12/5/2008 6:28:50 PM | Not going to read all the bickering back and forth...........so here is my take on it.
A woman has the choice to sleep with anyone she wants on the first date.......it's your body and your choice, but with my time watching the forums from online dating in the last 2yrs I have seen alot of things.
Those girls are all happy they met someone and are going to meet and they are so in love with each other.........they meet and have sex on the first meeting, then it is all tears and boohoo in a couple of days because he wont' return her phone calls. Hello...........and then a month later the same things............do we not learn from experience?
I don't see anything wrong with sex on the first date.........never have and never will its just not for me, but to each their own. I realize some men will not wait for me to be ready and willing to give him my body until I see something more than a role in the hay........I am worth way too much to be some mans sperm deposit slot after a dinner and maybe a movie.
You need to have my mind before you have my body...........once you have my mind I will let you do anything you want with the body. If I wanted to just get off I would have stayed married. | |
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| first date sex
Posted: 12/5/2008 6:41:15 PM | Cause they smelled the cologne of the last 10 guys you had sex with on the 1st date... | |
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| first date sex
Posted: 12/5/2008 6:47:09 PM |
once you have my mind I will let you do anything you want with the body.
Anything?  | |
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| first date sex
Posted: 12/5/2008 6:55:01 PM | | racermatt You are such a perv.......lmao | |
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| first date sex
Posted: 12/5/2008 7:51:49 PM | | Here is another opinion on this topic. My wife and I had sex the first date, and it was not wrong at all. It was not because she (or I) had loose morals, rather it was an immediate attraction and strong chemistry. We were together for 13 years until her passing in a remarkably wonderful marriage. So I think it is a bit naive to think that this is a necessarily a bad thing. It really depends on the people and situation. Maybe at the time you are not looking for a serious relationship, just some intimacy. Does this make you a bad person. NO, it makes you a human being. | |
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| First date sex is great!
Posted: 12/5/2008 7:59:25 PM |
It amazes me the number of men that are intimidated by a woman with a high sex drive. .......... I personally like high sex drives and strong connection, it insures passion.
What the heck does a woman having a high sex drive have anything to do with bedding a guy on the first date??? Both my present and last girl friends have extremely high sex drives, and I didn't go to bed with either until the third date. And you know what, the sex is a whole lot better when you get to know the person a bit first. | |
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| First date sex is great!
Posted: 12/5/2008 8:39:39 PM | "Since when does a 20 something guy have the intellegence to rationalize or differentiate female status. At that age sex is sex, woman are for sex. Human being, virgin, whore there's no thought process here. You really are young, and very naiive. Men at that age are all about sex, very rarely will you find one that will appreciate women for the beings we are. "
Most of the kids at my school are smarter than the vast majority of Americans. And yes I would place money on that bet. I've known successful longterm relationships that arose out of having sex very early on. And people who became good friends with people they had hooked up with before getting to know that well. But hey, look at all the other posters in the forum who said the same thing.
I am sorry you have not met men in your life who've respected your humanity and treated you with the dignity you deserve, and instead held you to different standards than they held themselves to. Truly I am. But trying to give other people complexes as well is not the mature way to handle it.
And none of that is to say that the OP isn't going to have bad experiences with guys she has sex with. But heartbreak can happen anytime you have sex with someone, not just first date sex. And if the guy doesn't want to date her more JUST because she was okay with having sex, that says a lot more negative things about him than it does about her. But the point I was making was more just that you can't generalize -that there are definitely guys out there who won't judge you either way just for going for sex on the first date. | |
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| First date sex is great!
Posted: 12/5/2008 8:48:05 PM |
lmao so you had my cast offs then?
This would be funny but that's the way guys look at it.
My brother and his friends often make comments like this. You wonder why you're not getting second dates? It's because a lot of guys think of you as nothing more than a willing receptacle for sperm. Guys don't want to date someone else's sperm bank. If you have sex on the first date well, just remember, you might be setting yourself up as not much more than the night deposit box.
My brother said it's like a dog pissing on a tree. He marks his territory and moves on. When he first sees the tree, he will do anything to piss on it. It's all he can think of. Once he's marked it he doesn't even look back. He's already looking for the next tree.
Chimera_Obscura | |
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| First date sex is great!
Posted: 12/5/2008 8:56:23 PM | | Notwow this may not have accured to you but your last girlfriends don't make up the whole female species. So that's good they held off till the third date and as you say for YOU it's a whole lot better then. For ME it depends on the womans skill not how long I've known her if it's better. I've know women for over 10 years that sucked then and suck now. Women that are quicker to sex generally like sex more then the ones that stick to rules like I'll wait a month or a till the third that. Of course like you pointed out there are exceptions of course. Hope this gives you better insight on what I mean? | |
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| first date sex
Posted: 12/5/2008 9:09:07 PM | Well i cant necesarilly speak for all men, and anyone on here who tries to make generalizations about me need to realize that u cant make acurate assumptions about a group of people, it just makes u look dumb.
I do tend to agree that some people are scared of the commitment that some people feel comes after sex, and multiple dates, but i was surprised to see that noone really mentioned the fact that there is a HUGE difference between a physical/sexual attraction to someone than there is for a mental connection.
from my experience first date sex often just comes from that physical connection and i think that may be what you have run into, i wouldn't worry too much about it, shit happens. It doesn't mean u were bad or anything like that, just taht there was no mental connection. Though i'm not too sexually experienced, i've had some of the best sex come from a purely physical, lust based connection. If u find someone ur interested in, then do whatever it is you feel like. Dont let people judge YOU when they dont know what situation YOU were in or what ur emotions were, just live ur life and dont have any regrets about what you do. But also dont let a guy just use you for a booty call (unless it's mutually agreed upon) because no girl deserves to be treated as just a piece of ass | |
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| first date sex
Posted: 12/5/2008 10:04:53 PM |
racermatt You are such a perv.......lmao
I've never been so insinuated in all my life.  | |
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| first date sex
Posted: 12/6/2008 6:52:33 AM | | The problem with first date sex is you just don't know the guy. The couple of times I've done it have gone horribly wrong. Never again. | |
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| first date sex
Posted: 12/6/2008 9:54:22 AM | Bored, there are fundamental, primal pulls in many men that create the double standard. They want sex, and it motivates many things they do. Many will take it where they can get it. Many are also hunters and self-competitive (out to prove something to themselves). They love the chase, they love the power of seduction, and that means they want "the prize" that is worthy of their time, wits, feelings, and money. They WANT to play that game out.
And to a hunter, the real prize is a woman who can afford to be discerning about who she selects... if SHE is picky, then HE becomes more valuable in his own eyes.
BOTTOM LINE: Barring the obvious mismatches that might be overlooked for casual sex, a man who doesn't value you after casual sex is likely looking for a woman who values herself as a prize too precious to casually give herself away. He's telling you that he's a hunter who happened upon sex...
It is entirely possible that a relationship can develop after casual sex with a man who is confident enough to not wonder about your past. But if you really like him and value him as precious, my suggestion is to play for keeps.
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| first date sex
Posted: 12/6/2008 10:16:45 AM | There seems to be a clear separation from those who are willing to hook up on the first date and those who don't. Not the act, but the perception.
It's a bad thing when one gets pushed into the other.
It makes me sad to see that there are still guys who treat the object of their one-night-stand poorly afterwards. It just puts a wall up for the next guy, whose intentions could be equally (dis)!honorable, but who remains a gentleman the following day. | |
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| first date sex
Posted: 12/6/2008 10:26:52 AM | | There have been many times where I have had sex on the first date, guess we both were excited enough and desired it enough not to wait...but only dummies or jerks don't call back afterwards..but again those are the guys that will meet someone on a date, not feel a connection and figure they just want to get something for their time spent, they will either be jerks and walk out and not care about how the woman feels or they will try to sleep with them and never call again. They are the guys that give men bad names with women.. | |
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| first date sex
Posted: 12/6/2008 11:00:26 AM | Your About You starts out saying...
If you just want sex move on...
Then you meet some guy and decide to screw him because you "like" him and assume he "likes" you because after all he did reciprocate. LMAO.
You've gotten no more or no less than you deserve my dear. Enjoy the moment for what it was (lust) and expect no more than what you've put into it. | |
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| first date sex
Posted: 12/6/2008 11:42:22 AM | No problem w/that. Sometimes its just a nice play , sometimes we both (my date and me) know we want each other. 
But most of the time I dont even think of sex on the first date. | |
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| first date sex
Posted: 12/6/2008 11:56:31 AM | I did not read anything in the OP post that even remotely suggested she communicated to her date that she wanted more than a casual romp. It is clear this was not a solitary event, so instead of the men being simply a$$holes, perhaps she should review her own actions.
It is tiring hearing how women are always a victim of the dog mentality of men. If you are going to casually put it out there, then stop complaining when someone casually accepts the offer. If you want something deeper start by examining your own approach to new potential romances. Simply put, if you want respect then respect yourself first, people will appreciate that and act accordingly.
Climbing off my soapbox now, and elvis has left the building. | |
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| first date sex
Posted: 12/6/2008 12:21:23 PM | This is crazy, why if the men have too much sex they been called Stud but if the women have too much sex they are called whore.... this is just wrong. Men or women are the same if they want to have sex probably is because they are physically attracted to each other, if they both like it then what is the problem??? If the men coming up with lame excuse after that and don't want to meet her again that is the man problem. He might like the sex but I am sure he is afraid of commitment after the sex and he will find a weakest excuse to use the first exit.
Men, need to just grow up and really live the life you are in. If you are not ready for commitment, well just stay away from her from begin with. Why do you want to leave a footprint on her heart? | |
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| first date sex
Posted: 12/6/2008 1:08:02 PM | ^^^^ Honestly did not sound like it was her heart she was putting out there. Why should a man stay away, do you honestly think it is just the men out there picking up casual sex and are afraid of commitment? If the women were not out doing the same thing it would be called masturbation not casual sex. Not everyone is ready for an instant commitment, perhaps some mutual company is what is needed at that time. As I stated earlier, if you want commitment then approach it differently than lets just have a good time.
I agree not to label men/women differently. In fact why use labels at all? We are all consenting adults, and as that we make our own choices based on what our needs are. How many previous partners is immaterial, the real question would be in how many more after the right one.
The best relationship I ever had, 13 years of a great marriage, involved sex on the first date. Also on that note my first marriage, a miserable 10 years, also involved sex on the first date. I really do not believe this is a conclusive fact in whether a person is right or wrong for you. In fact it would appear to be another way for people to point fingers and feel superior to someone else based upon thier own belief system.
If I wanted labels, I would buy the jeans.  | |
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| first date sex
Posted: 12/6/2008 2:13:30 PM | Women please........if you give it up on the first night WTF ever.....its your choice, but why would he want to be committed to you when he can get the sex with out the commitment. Any man that truly likes you is going to stick around for a couple more dates before he bales because he isn't getting off.......and if he don't is he really worth being with anyway. Sex is really easy to get.........relationships are not so much.
Seriously.........women need to start taking responsibility for their own actions. Don't sleep with them and then cry because they don't call you back. OMG, if you touch a hot burning and it burns you are you going to keep grabbing the burner on a different stove an expecting it not to burn you. I have never understood women that think just because they have sex the man is going to stick around. | |
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| first date sex
Posted: 12/6/2008 3:16:14 PM | I'm with you on this point.
I think first date sex ruins the chance of it being more than a one night stand.
Its good to get hot and hungry, but go home. Its fun to anticipate when and if he rings you back. | |
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| first date sex
Posted: 12/6/2008 3:20:44 PM | At last someone who thinks like me.
I was beginning to think I was a bit of a freak as I dont want to have sex as soon as I meet someone. I want to know a little about him and he something about me before we share body fluids.
But having said that there are some smucks out there who think they have the right to try and force the issue. It is as if they think they are so fantastic how can I resist them. Well, I can. | |
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| First date sex is great!
Posted: 12/6/2008 3:26:05 PM | High sex drive does not ensure passion.
Some women and men have a high sex drive mainly becasue they think its the only way they are sure to get a partner. - Slow down and smell the roses. A little bit of a simmer really does put passion into a fledgling relationship.
Hey, in my very limited experience I find that sex can be awkward when you are just getting to know someone. So, if you know them a little beforehand its less likely to offend if things dont go to plan. | |
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| first date sex
Posted: 12/7/2008 5:09:03 AM | Guys see woman as either a shag, or relationship material , that is fact , it's in mens nature and no matter what clap trap is said on here will change that, you can pretend and dress it up as you wasn't good enough, were good enough or what ever. If he comes back for a second shag you'll still only be a shag, just that you were worth a second go.
Nice girls in my opinion do not have one nighters on purpose and do not think they're ok as long as both agree. There's also no such thing as safe sex, and every partner a person has increases the risk. Also people who have lots of promiscuous sex tend to value they act a lot less than people who don't and are a lot more likely to be unfaithful and stray.
Have some respect for yourself and future partners .  | |
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