| | First date sex is great!Page 5 of 7 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7) | Yes, first date sex is great!
But 2nd, 3rd, and 4th date sex is even better!
Being good in the sack doesn't mean that you've been around the block a lot.
On the contrary, I think that if you've been around the block a lot, you've had a lot of the SAME sex, repeatedly.
To me, being good in the sack means being at a variety of things. And again, to me, this would imply feeling comfortable enough with someone to go exploring and practicing till you've perfected it.
And that kind of practice, level of comfort, and frequency.....would tell me that someone had been in a somewhat lengthy relationship.
Like I said, first date sex CAN be good.
But it only gets better from there!
If he's not calling afterwards, and neither are you??
Obviously it's not worth getting better, to either of you! | |
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ohio07
| | Joined: 12/27/2008
Msg: 102 | |
| first date sex
Posted: 1/17/2009 1:22:19 PM | | If you don't have a problem with baggage (hint) or being used for sex consensually, then you have nothing to worry about. If your wondering why they don't come back for more... they got what they wanted. So the're gone. I mean it really is that simple. Besides if you want a **** buddy, just tell them, I think they will cooperate! It's just a matter of communication! | |
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ohio07
| | Joined: 12/27/2008
Msg: 103 | |
| first date sex
Posted: 1/17/2009 1:33:01 PM | | Amen Edsta. You wonder if well adjusted people without baggage exist anymore. I have met people like you are describing before and I back away every time I see them. Impersonating the worst traits of a select group of men, does NOT make you any better than them... it makes you just like them. And if you think by co-opting such behavior makes you superior to them and all other men who are unlike them, then you are deluding yourself. Plain and simple. Since when does co-opting traits you proclaim to detest make you superior by comparison? It doesn't now, and it never did. | |
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| first date sex
Posted: 1/17/2009 7:37:17 PM | Gee I hate to run down my own gender. But some guys are too dumb to be allowed in the gene pool. Personally I feel that women who put out are like all fine things, to be savored over time. Guys who walk out after just once need to be beaten over the head with a 2X4. Or maybe someone did. | |
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blgray
| | Joined: 12/12/2008
Msg: 105 | |
| first date sex
Posted: 1/17/2009 10:43:39 PM | | First date sex? Wow I know people do it but where is the mystery and suspence of it all. The sexy part is making them wait for it. First kiss...Then a feel on top of the clothes...then maybe a little under the clothes...then later they get to see the goods but still don't get to touch much...then you ease them in making sure that they know the wait was well worth it. If they care for you genuinely as a person they will wait! Sex is one of the best activities on this earth...But it is even better when you have that bond and you know their hot spots. | |
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| first date sex
Posted: 1/18/2009 8:34:23 AM | | I think u are absolutly right , whast wrong with sex on teh frist date, the way i see it u are both consentual adults, adn a person that puts ruls adn regs on a first date , have no clue in what they really want in life. i figure if you are attracted to each other adn the chemestry is there adn u practice safe sex, well there u have it its ok , but most women (no disrespect) do say No sexual contact on first date, to me this is a turn off ,breaks the males spirit and seems tehy are still stuck in that High school mode we all delt with in High school . anyway thats my experience adn my 2 cents. Liek i said no disrespect to anyone | |
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| first date sex
Posted: 1/18/2009 8:36:49 AM | | Wow, talk about a train wreck of a post.... | |
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| first date sex
Posted: 1/18/2009 9:10:07 AM | Look in the mirror MisterStone | |
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Layken
| | Joined: 1/8/2006
Msg: 110 | |
| first date sex
Posted: 1/18/2009 9:53:55 AM | Think you need a connection to that person first - and first time out of the gate - No. They may have a dozen lil dirty secrets you don't know about - why risk it? Besides, kinda a romantic & would prefer to build up to it with flirting and sexy text messaging to make it special?!? Going for it full throttle on the first date? There is no fun in that....if your that hard up...get a vibrator... | |
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| first date sex
Posted: 1/18/2009 10:10:36 AM | Wow, talk about a train wreck of a post....
Hey, alright! No one thinks you're a total prick or anything for being a grammar and spelling nazi on the forums. Stuff like that is looked on with incredible respect. Good for you!
Now the OP. Some people in here have stated that people never have serious relationships with those they have sex with early on. I beg to differ. I have had a few very serious relationships with people I was having sex with almost immediately. It's all about the people. Some people, the more you learn about them, the more you find yourself wanting to be around them. Some, you find that you want to be around them less. To say one way works and another doesn't is a misinterpretation of all the different aspects of dating and love. | |
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| first date sex
Posted: 1/18/2009 10:11:34 AM | | I agree there really needs to be a connection, and that does happen on first dates, i am only saying that there shouldnt be rulz adn regs on dates, adn should be responsable enough to go on the date with your eyes open and not a closed mind. Connection,attraction ,chemestry are the ingredients, other things do factor. And misterstone i just think u were rude with your comment to me , if u want to bash ppl i would say go back the the kiddie zone. | |
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| first date sex
Posted: 1/18/2009 10:17:48 AM | I don't think there's anything wrong with first date sex, as long as you have your head in the right place. Just because a man has sex with you, doesn't mean he wants a relationship with you ; if he doesn't call, he probably wouldn't have called if you kept your legs closed either. You just gave him a nice goodbye present!
Of course, there are always guys who have no problem helping a woman become "used goods" but have a problem DATiNG used goods...
It's a gamble. Never have sex early on unless you're ok with the idea that it may be the last thing you do together! | |
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| first date sex
Posted: 1/18/2009 10:33:16 AM | | Ditto Incuubus2113, but im not here to correct ppls spelling or call them a nazi , just simply stated my thougths on the subject, not down ppl on there spelling or calling nazi. So take your toys and go play in your own sandbox. And again another rude comment by trashing someone on there views. shows the maturity on the conversation u both have shown. | |
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Edsta
| | Joined: 7/19/2008
Msg: 115 | |
| first date sex
Posted: 1/18/2009 10:41:51 AM | It's a gamble. Never have sex early on unless you're ok with the idea that it may be the last thing you do together!
Well what in life ISN'T a gamble, when you think about it? Some people want the illusion of certainty and security so desperately that they end up living extremely closed-off, joyless lives.
I feel a lot more respect for, and attraction towards, women who are able to take chances because they are confident and strong enough not to have to demand promises and guarantees, who choose to be with someone because they WANT to, not because they NEED to.
Of course, there are some women who will have sex on the first date only because they think it will enable them to keep the guy interested...which is just another type of desperation. | |
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| first date sex
Posted: 1/18/2009 11:03:52 AM |
Well what in life ISN'T a gamble, when you think about it? Some people want the illusion of certainty and security so desperately that they end up living extremely closed-off, joyless lives.
You can always have a certain level of security and ENJOY gambling when you do your best to make decisions for the "right reasons.". What the right reasons are, well that can be debated, but I would venture to say that you feel you'd be ok with your decision regardless of the outcome.
If you go to a casino and spend a reasonable amount of disposable money completely aware of the odds, whether you lose it all or hit the jackpot, you most likely wouldn't leave with regrets.
If you put out on the first date and know that it could be going nowhere - that some men will take advantage of that, and as I said, you're ok with the idea that it may be the last thing you do together, then you could enjoy yourself and have no regrets. | |
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ohio07
| | Joined: 12/27/2008
Msg: 117 | |
| first date sex
Posted: 1/18/2009 11:07:58 AM | | Lone starStar and Edsta, I echo your sentiments completley. | |
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| first date sex
Posted: 1/18/2009 11:20:50 AM | | I think it's best to wait for a couple of dates. Sometimes it's best to have your first meetings be daytime, like coffee or lunch dates. Then you have some time to decide if you really like that person or not. The extra effort usually means there is more to it than just the sex. Plus....when it's time, the sex is always better when there are some real feelings involved! | |
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Edsta
| | Joined: 7/19/2008
Msg: 119 | |
| first date sex
Posted: 1/18/2009 11:31:55 AM | If you put out on the first date and know that it could be going nowhere - that some men will take advantage of that, and as I said, you're ok with the idea that it may be the last thing you do together, then you could enjoy yourself and have no regrets.
Or, you could go out on a date and not know if it will go anywhere or not, but you both like and are physically attracted to the other person, and you're ok with whatever happens in the morning because you don't harbor any delusions that there is one person who is going to "complete" your life, the be-all and end-all of Hollywood fairy-tales. Then you could just enjoy yourself and let things happen if they happen, without any regrets one way or another. Right?
There is a beautiful song by Edith Piaf called "No regrets." You can probably find it on imeem.com Some of the lyrics, poorly translated from the original French:
"No! No regrets
No! I will have no regrets
For all the things
That went wrong
For at last I have learned to be strong
No! No regrets
No! I will have no regrets
For the grief doesn't last
It is gone
I've forgotten the past
And the memories I had
I no longer desire
Both the good and the bad
I have flung in the fire
And I feel in my heart
That a seed has been sown
It is something quite new
It's like nothing I've known." | |
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| first date sex
Posted: 1/18/2009 4:16:11 PM | "Hey, alright! No one thinks you're a total prick or anything for being a grammar and spelling nazi on the forums. Stuff like that is looked on with incredible respect. Good for you!"
LOOL. Sorry Incuubus, but when someone is trying to convey an idea, maybe they should try doing it in a way that doesnt make them look ignorant. | |
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| first date sex
Posted: 1/18/2009 4:38:17 PM | There are no rules against first date sex. In fact, in my world, there are no rules at all. If you want someone, and they want you, go for it.
The second part of your question concerns the second encounter. Why doesn't he call or want to have a second date after having sex on the first?
1. Maybe you weren't that good in bed.
2. Maybe he felt he didn't perform well.
3. Maybe you smelled funky.
4. Maybe he met someone else.
5. Maybe he just used you for a one nighter.
6. Maybe he's in prison.
7. Maybe he's really gay.
8. Maybe you gave him an STD.
9. Maybe he gave you one, and he's waiting for you to find out.
10. Maybe he's a spy, and he's currently over seas.
11. Maybe he was abducted by aliens.
Or, maybe he just doesn't like you.
In any case, why question it? Just move on, have fun and offer it to someone else who wants it.
-z | |
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| first date sex
Posted: 1/18/2009 4:49:46 PM | | I would never do this, almost did one time but I told him no at the last second and he respected that. | |
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| first date sex
Posted: 1/18/2009 4:53:10 PM |
LOOL. Sorry Incuubus, but when someone is trying to convey an idea, maybe they should try doing it in a way that doesnt make them look ignorant.
Yeah, people have so much more respect for someone who comes accross as a complete ***hole. | |
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| first date sex
Posted: 1/18/2009 4:53:55 PM | I'm all for it if the connection exists. But then, I'm 42 and have lived enough, and paid attention to life enough, to know when connection is really there or not.
I must confess to being a bit disappointed to see replies where the author says the woman "gave it up" or something similar--like she is not getting anything out of it. | |
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| first date sex
Posted: 1/18/2009 6:31:29 PM | First date sex: Well, maybe I'm old fashioned, but sex on the first date is not the goal. I would like to see if we can connect with our minds and spirits first before I would let him put a part of himself inside of me. That's a connection that has more ramifications on many levels than I think most people realize. I'm sacred. My body is sacred. The man I share my body with will be sacred also....how would I learn that on the first date?
Sexual activity is a dance. Seduction is a skill and when you put them together, it can be a great part of relating to each other. That takes time and trust and a blending of energies. Waiting to get on the dance floor is part of the seduction. What's the hurry? | |
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