| Is it EVER okay to cheat? (Thanks Terry for the inspiration for this one.)
Posted: 6/21/2005 5:26:59 PM | In my opinion IT IS NOT EVER OKAY TO CHEAT!
But, the situation that you've described where a person is biologically or physically unable to engage in intercourse adds a special dimension to the entire issue of cheating.
For instance, if both in the marriage (the disabled and abled) agree that the abled person is allowed to have sex with third parties, then it essentially is not "cheating" between the two of them because they have an agreement.
In the biblical sense, it's ALWAYS WRONG, no matter what (despite the fact that everyone was getting busy back in those days, whether they were married or not)! 
In cases of good old fashioned "I don't feel I'm getting what I want at home, so I look elsewhere" cheating, that's definitely WRONG, especially when both parties haven't consented! | |
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| Is it EVER okay to cheat? (Thanks Terry for the inspiration for this one.)
Posted: 6/21/2005 5:56:11 PM | There is a reason it is called C-H-E-A-T-I-N-G
Can you cheat anywhere else in life?
Monopoly - cards - the casino - the lottery - golf - baseball - horseracing - dogracing - any sport or game? Nope - you would be booted out of the game. Unless you play solitaire like I do - once I know there are no more movies, I play cheaters solitaire..... Also works in Scrabble if the other players go along. Gets interesting then.
Cheating is a nono....if you are married, it is wrong.
Squeak | |
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| Is it EVER okay to cheat? (Thanks Terry for the inspiration for this one.)
Posted: 6/21/2005 6:26:23 PM | what if the one not getting ANY sex is told that "i dan't want sex and you will never have it again"
personally no one has the right to tell another how to run their life exspecially if theirs is ass backward
my wife is not disabled from being clipped no enjoyment at all, and believes that sex is for whores (the ass backwards part)
Jason
still faithful | |
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| Is it EVER okay to cheat? (Thanks Terry for the inspiration for this one.)
Posted: 6/21/2005 6:43:15 PM | | My parents know a couple where the man became paraplegic. They are relatively poor, so paying for help isn't an option. The woman is petite and has difficulty helping her husband on her own. For years, the wife has had a live-in boyfriend who helps care for her husband and everyone seems happy about the situation. What's the better solution that doesn't involve 'cheating'? | |
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| Is it EVER okay to cheat? (Thanks Terry for the inspiration for this one.)
Posted: 6/21/2005 6:53:33 PM | If you decide to choose sex over the love of your life than the only person you love is yourself,no excuses ,no exceptions,no second chances,I ve got two ex wives and I dont give second chances,man or woman ,a whore is a whore,no matter what gender. show me one thats faithful and thats the girl for me . | |
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| Is it EVER okay to cheat? (Thanks Terry for the inspiration for this one.)
Posted: 6/21/2005 6:55:48 PM | NO! It was the worst thing that ever happened to me when I found out he was cheating on me. I was having dreams about it, and waking up crying...this was before I knew, but I guess I somehow knew something was wrong. Whenever I cried, he'd reassure me he'd never cheat, and that my imagination was running away with me. I took him back after he left, but I could never get it out of my head. I wish he'd left in the first place, because it would have hurt less.
If you're thinking of cheating, you need to figure out why. If it's a problem that can't be fixed, then just GO. | |
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| Is it EVER okay to cheat? (Thanks Terry for the inspiration for this one.)
Posted: 6/21/2005 7:18:24 PM | Jason
You telling us you didn't know this about your wife when you met her and married her?
If not, leave.
If you did, hey, no one made you marry her.
Squeak
Again - there is a reason it is called CHEATING. Altho there are open marriages that work.....depends on the people involved. | |
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| Is it EVER okay to cheat? (Thanks Terry for the inspiration for this one.)
Posted: 6/21/2005 7:20:24 PM | my reason for not leaving..... kids she will pack up and move to the otherside of canada then go back to africa where our government has no treaties. unfortunately the laws in canadaare more on the womens sid becouse 73% of divorce is considered the mans fault. besides she belongs to a group of immigrant women that are known for getting women and there kids out of the country and i have been warned. i checked with a lawyer and by the time it makes it too court bye bye. better to wait till kids are old enough to understand what fully is going on then make it their choice who they want to live with.
should not be in this forum but this is my answer for
No reason to be in a relationship that makes one miserable after all avenues for reconciliation have been exhausted
jason | |
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| Is it EVER okay to cheat? (Thanks Terry for the inspiration for this one.)
Posted: 6/21/2005 7:34:43 PM | i have never cheated on a girlfriend, but i have been cheated on by all but 2 of my girlfriends i know what its like first anger then depression then you realize that the f**cker will catch aids and die a horrable death then you feel pretty good and then set yourself up for it again because in the end we are all suckers in one way or another
Jason | |
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| Is it EVER okay to cheat? (Thanks Terry for the inspiration for this one.)
Posted: 6/21/2005 7:42:13 PM |
If someone wants to go that way they should leave the relationship, because they no longer care about the person they are with.
I'm not condoning cheating -- I agree that they should probably leave the relationship -- but this statement is overly simplistic. In many cases, people stay in a troubled relationship *because* they care about the person they're with. And something happens, it shouldn't, but it does, it's incredibly common. That doesn't mean they don't care.
And life is more complicated than just caring, or not caring. Especially if you have children, or have a very public marriage, for example.
No, I'm not condoning cheating. Cheating sucks, and it often hurts -everyone- involved. But you can't say that the cheater just doesn't care. | |
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| Is it EVER okay to cheat? (Thanks Terry for the inspiration for this one.)
Posted: 6/21/2005 8:09:36 PM | hmm Linguatic,
not sure i can agree with you but then we cannot assume agreement on the definition of `care', huh?
and i don't think there is anything wrong with that. based on the replies here i know i would want to be treated differently than many others here in this regard. i won't go to bed with someone.much less marry them, without discussing our expectations and limits wrt other sexual partners.
in the hypothetical here (did not see the movie), i would agree that if the couple discussed it and there was no lying or hiding going on, it ain't cheating. i am not at all ready to accept that just cuz a person uses a chair or whatever they cannot have a full sexual life. i realize some conditons may preclude that.
if i were the woman in such a case, it would hurt but if there were no way i could sexually satisfy my guy, i would consent to his meeting his needs elsewhere.
however, when i was trying to get my ex to honor his vows or leave (no he wasn't cheating sexually) i was so angry with him i could not have sex with him. at the same time, i was beginning of my sexual peak (yes- it IS true ;-) and going totally crazy, could not concentrate i was so damn horny.
for another six months after my ex finally moved out, he would not agree to give me a divorce. i spent this time fantasizing wildly about another man, who was ready, willing and able. but until my ex finally agreed to the divorce i touched none other.
i DID make that call within five minutes of the conversation with my ex, and by the next day all was better, but.... i CARED enough about my ex, no matter his behavior toward me, that until i was `freed' by his consent too, i did not go there.
point is that it isn't about HIM that i didn't cheat and that brings me back to my original statement about the definition of caring.
under the circumstances a lot of people were encouraging me to `cheat'. but- i could not have behaved in a way toward my ex that didn't conform to my own definition of caring and honor and still look myself in the mirror.
it is for ME, not HIM, that i didn't `cheat'.
peace, great topic!
R | |
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| Is it EVER okay to cheat? (Thanks Terry for the inspiration for this one.)
Posted: 6/21/2005 8:19:46 PM | I'm so impressed with all you good and moral people.
This forum must now be considered a great probabilistic oddity. Given the statistics on cheating, and how rampant it is in any relationship, I find it wonderfully miraculous to have a forum full of the minority (those who would never ever ever cheat, oh my).
Right, because it's less realistic to believe that half of you are full of sh.it, or that you speak with good intentions, but given the right circumstances, you too would drop your pants and commit a bit 'o adultery.
At least I can be honest enough to say that I feel it is morally and socially wrong, but I still cannot predict how I will act in any given set of circumstances.
And no, I've never cheated on anyone. | |
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| Hey Arlie! Whores...
Posted: 6/21/2005 8:34:55 PM | get paid to have sex with other people. It's a business relationship, not a romantic one. Thus, it doesn't apply. (Assuming that the entrepreneurial women are single, of course.)
If you have two ex-wives and they are both ex-wives because they cheated on you... well, maybe you need to re-evaluate what it is you're looking for in a woman. "Cause somethin' ain't workin'! | |
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| Felldownstairs
Posted: 6/21/2005 8:42:27 PM | I agree... I'm now single and so I should be so lucky... BUT if, during my marriage, Brad Pitt had knocked on my door, I admit it... the panties would have been coming down and the ex would have had to gotten over it.
I'm no saint and don't try to pretend to be one.
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