| Divorce horror stories.....and it's not Halloween
Posted: 12/9/2008 6:15:03 PM | Oh why not let's go for it, some people do make sacrifices for the kids. I voluntarily gave custody to my ex because the chance of me getting them were slim and none(I was in the Navy at the time, living in virginia and being male that's 3 strikes and you're out in virginia). We had two vehicles when we separated one in my name the other in both our names, she was suppose to be getting financing to take over the van which was in my name so I signed off and said she was not financially responsible for the car. Well she turned around and got a brand new van, dropped off the van that was in my name and said sorry couldn't get the financing so I end up having a repo on my record that sold at auction for $9000 less than I owed.
Once told my kids that "Santa won't go to the right house", when I asked if we could switch which house they spent Christmas Eve at because I had to work.
She continued to take child support payments for 4 children when I had 2 of them living with me and my checks were being garnished leaving me with $125/week plus my retirement to pay all my bills. She took me for a good $10,000 that year and the court did nothing about it when I finally had court ordered custody of the two.
But you know she is paying for it now, our oldest only recently started talking to her again but with a very suspect opinion of her, the next has not talked to her and he refuses to even email her and now our youngest is living with me. Before you say it, I have repeatedly told my kids to keep in touch with their mother, after all she's the only one they get. Thought that they might be ignoring her out of loyalty for me so I told them I didn't want that and reccommended they keep in touch. | |
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| Divorce horror stories.....and it's not Halloween
Posted: 12/9/2008 6:36:55 PM | | if all my exes had taken was money and material possessions it would have been a ok with me...you can always get more where that came from... it's when they take a piece of your soul that you come close to destruction...took me a minute to bounce back...and in those years that i was regrouping my thoughts and letting my heart heal i became stronger and smarter...it's important to love yourself | |
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| Divorce horror stories.....and it's not Halloween
Posted: 12/9/2008 7:15:25 PM | bill, sorry to hear that. and, for the record, i have let things go, so people do not get the wrong impression. by the time i divorced him, i actually felt nothing. it was kind of weird. i have not talked about it in a long time. bill, i have an ex-sis-in-law that literally has stolen thousands of dollars from my brother, and he won't do a thing. she was ordered by a judge that the next time she opened up credit in his name she'd be in big trouble. she knows my brother will not do a thing, so she continues to this day six years after the divorce to do things. last year she found an inactive best buy card in her drawer and activated it. she went and got $6,000 of gift cards. they were $500 apiece. shame on her!
jo | |
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| Divorce horror stories.....and it's not Halloween
Posted: 12/9/2008 8:05:21 PM | | awwwwww no problem jo I've let it go. for the longest time I hated my ex and finally a wise woman told me that the only person I was hurting was myself, that my ex wasn't worried about how I felt. Kat I do understand that the money is really nothing in the whole scheme of life. It wasn't the money or the van that she took from me, it was my ability to trust someone again. I worked long and hard trying to regain that ability to trust someone again. Funny but I just realized that it was part of the reason that my last serious relationship (ended 4 yrs ago) failed because of my inability to fully trust the woman I was with. I sure hope that I am ready for it now, well no one in the forseeable future at the moment but I'd like to think I am ready. | |
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| Divorce horror stories.....and it's not Halloween
Posted: 12/10/2008 4:04:00 AM | if all my exes had taken was money and material possessions it would have been a ok with me...you can always get more where that came from... it's when they take a piece of your soul that you come close to destruction...
I could have wrote that myself Katty girl
How many times can that happen before we have nothing left in us to share? | |
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| Divorce horror stories.....and it's not Halloween
Posted: 12/10/2008 7:25:33 AM | | ^^^^^lol, i refrained from speaking on this thread because it reminded me of the "bad" times...hell don't want to cut off my nose to spite my face...i'm friends with my ex, wouldn't have it any other way...but it took me a minute to get there for sure | |
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| Divorce horror stories.....and it's not Halloween
Posted: 12/10/2008 7:55:05 AM | Like someone can actually take a piece of you ! They can certainly fool you and turn your world upside down but your soul. Not.
We all have the tools to make changes in our lifes to make things better. Often enough the answers are right in front of us if we will just listen. Dramatic events take time and a lot of introspection to get that balance back.
Often times it is the pro active take charge attitude like locking your ex in the trunk that gets inmediate feel good results. | |
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| Divorce horror stories.....and it's not Halloween
Posted: 12/10/2008 8:25:57 AM | Often times it is the pro active take charge attitude like locking your ex in the trunk that gets inmediate feel good results.
What P.O.F. Party are you going to soon?
After that post, am sure alot of people will want to talk to you.
The color, blue or white uniforms come to my mind. | |
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| Divorce horror stories.....and it's not Halloween
Posted: 12/10/2008 12:36:52 PM | | I agree with most..if it was just the infidelity or finacial ruin to deal with id would only hang my head and know it was my own stupidity ...but when others are hurt..and affected for ever it is hard to take...and it does move some of us to action...I was a different person till i knew all the behind the sceanes stuff..then Momma Bear came out and there is nothing that can stop this gal now..oh...i feel weak at times..and the world gets me down..but..I have such faith...and it fuels me..it strenghtens me..and my children are my sourse of purpose and pride...and a few choice others make life worth living..my ex's...first just cheated..and i dont have any isues with him..its just the second..if i had to....id kill him with my bear hands if it meant sparing my children or another life..i feel just that strongly...and any one who knows me knows this is not typical talk for me..i am a forgive and forget type...some things ill never fogive..or forget..and all i can do is have faith he will get his just desserts at judgment day...im accountable for mine..he will be for his also..and im ok with that.. | |
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| Divorce horror stories.....and it's not Halloween
Posted: 12/10/2008 2:07:11 PM | "Like someone can actually take a piece of you ! They can certainly fool you and turn your world upside down but your soul. Not." "I agree with most..if it was just the infidelity or finacial ruin to deal with id would only hang my head and know it was my own stupidity"
How is the fact that my ex husband cheated on me with my friend my own stupidity and why should I hang my head? Don't you mean HIS own stupidity and he should of hung HIS head?
I guess the threads are confusing me today. | |
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| Divorce horror stories.....and it's not Halloween
Posted: 12/10/2008 8:14:40 PM | Often times it is the pro active take charge attitude like locking your ex in the trunk that gets inmediate feel good results.
ROFLMAO! I love it! 
Now....if one could just LURE them into the trunk........... | |
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| Divorce horror stories.....and it's not Halloween
Posted: 12/11/2008 8:22:07 AM | Well.. i can this one thing... I no longer look at my ex.. and see heartbreak... I will never look my ex best friend in the eye again tho.
Now.. i just feel the joy of freedom when i look at him. Maybe someday i will forgive the ex best friend and shake her hand for releasing me from SUCH a bad marriage. I should strive for that. | |
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| Divorce horror stories.....and it's not Halloween
Posted: 12/11/2008 4:03:21 PM | Father 22,
the opposite of love isn't hate; its nothingness. I think people sometimes don't know how to deal with the intensity of emotion when the love goes. And sometimes bad things happen to good people.
Its also kinda tough when the legal advice recommends going out for blood an the lets you "coast in" to the finish line without representation because your legal bill is a little high. When is a contract not a contract? | |
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| Divorce horror stories.....and it's not Halloween
Posted: 12/11/2008 4:36:34 PM |  my lawyer wanted me to go after my ex's record collection. it was quite sizeable and worth a lot of money. i said absolutely not. he started that when he was a teenager. he insisted. he said, "we can have an appraiser come in and value it." and i just refused. i just wanted out. when my brother left his wife, he had to give her half the value of his gun collection. some of the guns belonged to my grandfather. that is just wrong, wrong, wrong. he also had to give her half the value of a coin collection that was my father's. that, in my opinion, is just so wrong.....it may be legal, but morally WRONG!
 jo | |
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| Divorce horror stories.....and it's not Halloween
Posted: 5/21/2009 6:32:49 AM | i am sure lawyers create and multiply issues for the "sake" of their clients. i'll have to get divorced soon. i have not seen my husband in seven years. maybe i should file a missing persons report hehehehhehehe.
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| Divorce horror stories.....and it's not Halloween
Posted: 5/21/2009 7:58:54 AM | I got thrown under the bus by my lawyer. All through the 1 &1/2 year ordeal up to the point where the lawyers and judge went behind closed doors, I was holding my own, I only called onthe lawyer to attend the court proceedings. So... after they get out of the The Judge takes one day a week of visitation from the kids... an overnight where it places me below the threshold for Joint Custody, hit me for 2 years of spousal support, and because I no longer had joint Custody, My child support increased by 50 percent, the Judge refused to Impute income but told her she was capable of earning 30 to 35 K a year in his scolding her,
The only positive was he Blocked her from moving to 3 hours away Traverse City... and from removing the kids from the school district. It took about 3 years for us to actually "get along" because I didn't let her do what she wanted and she was angry, I was angry because the only reason I got for divorce was, "I'm just not happy! I love you but I'm not in love with you anymore" I just didn't understand that her " happyness" was more important than providing a stable home for the children which allowed her to be a stay at home mom, where she could pick up "friends" at school, Her words to the Judge responding to the Love letters I had found, "I didn't cheat on him I was just seeing what was out there."
Bottom Line is I just don't understand how inconsistant the court system can be, as the billboards encourage you to be a dad but the judge takes time away from me for the sole reason to benefit her economically. The Lawyer used the excuse that it was in the best interest of the children for their mom to have adequate finances, so that's what they agreed upon in chambers. So I had to pay more not to see my kids as much... I just don't get it, as it was such bullshit, within 6 months I was back to the old schedule but it was not advised to review the custody in court as it would be concieved that I was out to get her.
Guilty of being "the stronger sex" suck it up dude! | |
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| Divorce horror stories.....and it's not Halloween
Posted: 5/22/2009 11:24:29 AM | I have my own horror story, but what I truly see in yours is that they love to lie and make you look like the "bad guy" in all of this. For over 20 years, mine was verbally and emotionally abusive, then, the day I went to see a lawyer, he had a mental breakdown and they discovered he was bipolar. A nurse said that on a scale of ONE to TEN, he was about a FIFTEEN. He threatened to kill me and, even before he knew I wanted a divorce, he told a friend of mine how he could kill me and no one could trace it back to me. He counterfiled in the divorce, but denied this to the kids, so no matter what, there was no way I was going back.
The really sad part is that my EX mother-in-law told me, even before I ever mentioned divorce, that I had no business leaving him even if he beat me, because he took me on fabulous vacations, bought me a beautiful home and every other year, whether I wanted it or not, I got a new car. I just shook my head and walked away. What are people thinking?
My EX in-laws (my father in law was one of my best friends but died in 1988) treat me like I am poison, but the cousins have seen the way they talk about me and they understand what I've gone through. It's sad that such a so called religious family can be so horribly cruel.
As for your ex-sister-in-law, who cares what she thinks, it's her misfortune NOT to know the truth, and be ignorant of the facts. Don't worry about the EX in-laws, just take care of your kids and love them as much as you can. He's the one who's going to have to face the facts some day. The truth always outs and, as they say, What goes around - Comes around.
I told my EX, after he told me he was going to tell everyone lies about me, that those who know me, know the truth and those who don't, aren't my friends anyway, so who cares. I was faithful to a man who treated me horribly, but claimed to love me. One day, after our divorce, he said that I LIED to him. I asked how, I had never lied to him about anything. He said that I promised to "Love him, in sickness and in health" and I didn't. Well, I turned to him and said that HE also lied.....he promised to love me!
I don't want pity or anything from anyone. I am not happy about the experience, I planned to be married for life, which I believe everyone did. I just want people to know that, ONE, it's good to be able to talk about it and; TWO, everyone has a story to tell. I had never gone through anything so hard in my life. However, this has made me grow and become a better, stronger person. Good luck to everyone and may the pain end and make you a stronger person also. | |
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| Divorce horror stories.....and it's not Halloween
Posted: 10/28/2009 4:14:26 PM | | it is sad how relationships can go south like that. the thing is if a person has a mental illness, it is not fixable. it is not just the point of two people trying to make things work. if one has a mental illness, that is a whole different ballgame... | |
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| Divorce horror stories.....and it's not Halloween
Posted: 10/29/2009 6:13:43 AM | | well, i am happy to report that i did finally get divorced several months ago and am dating someone. my divorce was not a horror, but what was to me was his leaving and never looking back. it was bizarre! | |
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