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 bam j
Joined: 1/4/2007
Msg: 19
Is there snobbery around replingPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
EVERY BODY HAS STANDARDS ... I WOULD THINK ,
MY POINT IS THAT A HEY HOW ARE YOU ... WHATS YOUR WORLD LIKE ?? EMAIL CAN HAVE A TON OF REPLIES ... YOU CAN BE FRIENDLY AND REPLY AND LEAVE IT AT THAT ... JUST BECAUSE THERE ARE A FEW MAILS BETWEEN PEOPLE DONT MEAN THERE IS ANY EXPECTATION OR ANYTHING WILL COME FROM IT !

THIS IS A CHAT FORUM ... SO IS THE IDEA NOT TO COMUNICATE WITH PEOPLE ???
 bam j
Joined: 1/4/2007
Msg: 20
Is there snobbery around repling
Posted: 1/8/2009 6:55:47 AM
STEP AWAY FROM THE FRUIT N VEG TOY BOY AND SLOWLY PLACE YOUR IMAGINATION ON THE FLOOR !!
 ShinyFallingStarr
Joined: 6/13/2008
Msg: 21
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Is there snobbery around repling
Posted: 1/8/2009 7:19:35 AM
Hey I sent out loadsa mails and no replies- I have only recently gotten back a few replies because I specify that people should send back a 'thanks but no thanks msg' if they arent interested.... ah well... back to being undesirable to everyone but the nutjobs...
 MalaSam
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 22
Is there snobbery around repling
Posted: 1/8/2009 7:48:38 AM
I sent a 'Thanks but no thanks' to a guy after reading this thread and he sent me back 'Stupid B**ch'


So much for talking the advice......it didnt work
 MalaSam
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 23
Is there snobbery around repling
Posted: 1/12/2009 7:41:13 AM
just proof that you cant please all of the people all of the time
 Naomi-the-cool
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 24
Is there snobbery around repling
Posted: 1/17/2009 6:29:27 AM
well, with me, if i dont reply it's cos i've looked at your profile and you either live too far away, or you're out of the age range i want, or your profile frankly doesn't reach out to me. i don't usually reply to "Intimate Encounter"s either. i'm not interested, it's not gonna happen, so i ain't gonna lead you on.
 insatible treat
Joined: 12/18/2008
Msg: 25
Is there snobbery around repling
Posted: 1/22/2009 12:14:34 AM
I think its kind of judgemental to say Northern Irish girls don't reply to messages.
Irish girls in my humble opinion are very friendly and honest; but then you may think I would say that as I am Irish.
I have written to guys and not had replies also; it works both ways; especially ones with silly pics as photos, or no photo at all.
It really isn't rocket science to put a photo on, there is no excuse.
As for this site; it's hard work finding a decent Irish guy; and I have just been on it 2 months so maybe I am being impatient or I have just dated more Indians than Irish; wonder why, more charm, intelligence, wit even?
Time will tell.
 killarneyman
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 26
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Is there snobbery around repling
Posted: 1/22/2009 2:14:10 AM
To be honest, I don't find a huge problem getting replies (I think it's time to knock on wood now, otherwise I will be without a reply for the rest of my POF life), but I think that can have alot to do with the approach.

I find that by actually taking some time to read the persons profile, you might be able to find some sort of common ground with them, try asking them about one of their intrests or about something that they refer to in their profile. Comment directly on its contents, etc.
Try being a bit oridginal too, even better if you can be a little bit funny or interesting (Either through something in your opening message, or something on your profile).

I would be supprised if most women here did not at least check the profile of everyone they recieve mail from, even if they don't bother replying to it, so make sure to keep that a bit interesting and up to date. And don't forget to use photoshop to remove all your pimples and make yourself look skinnier! (Ok, that last bit may be a lie)

You will get people who just ignore your message because they find you unintresting, wierd, or maybe they just don't like your profile photo. But that's life, it's like approaching a woman in a pub. Some women just don't want to give you the time of day. But most women, if you lay of the presure and can be a little interesting will at least chat away to you. And in my opinion, if you are interested in someone, establishing a good rapport with them will stand you alot more benefit in the future.

Try and keep away from the obvious pitfalls, it helps not to focus on their profile picture too much or at all when establishing first contact. You are probably not the first person to think that she is beautiful, and she has probably been told this many times in the past. Don't come off as shallow.

In my opinion, 90% of Irish women on a site like this will not be interested in no-strings with a random internet nobody. This is Ireland, she can get that in any pub in the country at a drop of the hat. She is more than likely giving online dating a shot for the same reason us men are. We are a bit sick and tired of the pub scene, and want to get a bit of a chance to know somebody first.

Now that's what I find works for me, and it may or may not work for you, but the average decent looking woman on a site like this is going to get alot of mail, she wont have the time or the desire to reply to them all. So try and stand out from the crowd a little bit.

(There is bound to be lots of spelling issues above, but my speeel cheeker is broken)
 SamsonAgonist
Joined: 1/13/2009
Msg: 27
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Is there snobbery around repling
Posted: 1/24/2009 6:32:01 PM
Is this thread still alive? Am I still alive for that matter? I don't mind not getting replies. I say don't reply if you don't like my profile but I'm going to stop doing that, partly because it is a loaded question I've just realised. I just wish people would say a little more about themselves. If I didn't like a person's profile but did like their picture, I wouldn't try and get to know them. But if I like the picture and the profile is something like "hi, I'm outgoing and love to have fun, I'm looking for an honest, affectionate man who can make me laugh and share cosy DVDs nights with, it'd help if you were nice looking if you want to know more just get in touch, photos only please, no one looking for intimate encounters need apply!!" Well heck girl, if that's all you want let's get married now. Well, what can you do but write off an email in the dark? No reply? Don't like the pic, the profile? Not interested? Ok, but don't presume we were either, we didn't know anything about you! Being found attractive might be necessary but it ain't sufficient ;)
 killarneyman
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 28
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Is there snobbery around repling
Posted: 1/26/2009 12:49:03 AM
Don't forget the million and one profiles with no photo and about me set to "I like going out with my girlies on a Saturday night. Msg me if you want to know more"

=/
 mr_2009_dublin
Joined: 1/15/2009
Msg: 29
Is there snobbery around repling
Posted: 2/3/2009 7:39:37 AM
maybe only 3 because he didnt fancy u
 justlittlestaryme
Joined: 11/27/2008
Msg: 30
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Is there snobbery around repling
Posted: 2/11/2009 8:41:15 AM
so mr................................................. 10011011 is back.
 Sherlock101
Joined: 1/4/2007
Msg: 31
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Is there snobbery around repling
Posted: 2/12/2009 9:44:12 AM
Its common knowledge women get many emails and guys are lucky if they get a few. Also well known fact, many of the emails women get are from much younger guys who don't have the b**** to talk to a women face to face.
Any whacko with a keyboard can send a message so many do. Some don't take rejection very well and will keep hammering women with replies.
So I don't blame women for not responding very often but think if you get a nice response to your profile with more than a few words then you should respond back even if it's a short polite "no thank you."
Personally, I get a few first contact emails and if not interested I reply back with a polite no thanks.

I’ve also received a few just saying hi or how are you. I usually just respond back with hi or I’m well, how are you. Funny 95% of the time I never hear back.

On the other hand, I really enjoy passing time with reading profiles and wow, some really delusional people out there.
I just read one a few minutes ago that had 6 very provocative pictures of this women and most of her profile was complaining about all the very young guys responding, the many responses asking for more pictures and the many lewd responses... Go figure...
 MalaSam
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 32
Is there snobbery around repling
Posted: 2/12/2009 11:19:42 AM
Sherlock, I'd love to be able to say the 'Thanks no thanks' works, but it doesnt. It seems to be even worse and unleash more aggression..........take it from a girl whos done it. And when guys send me a mail that sounds like a copy and paste mail I usually send back 'Smells like a copy and paste to me, maybe you should read my profile and try again?'........nobody has ever tried again.....maybe i should reword it something along the lines of ' Thank you so so much for taking the time to copy and paste me a mail, Im so gratful, please write back to me'
 ehmkay09
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 33
Is there snobbery around repling
Posted: 2/12/2009 11:52:58 AM
There probably isn't a snobbiness to be honest. This is the internet. That said, nothing beats a pleasantly worded 'Thanks but no thanks' but then I value stuff like that. Anyone who isn't pleasant isn't someone you want to date. And if they don't reply to you in the first place, face it perhaps they're not that into you or wasting your time. The profile system's an imperfect one but it's your responsibility to make it as indicative of who you may be or what you're into as possible. If you don't have a photo you'll likely get minimal hits. If you're 'really easy-going, want to know more, just ask me' then the liklihood is people won't find you very interesting. Similar if your interests are 'going out with the girlzz' and nowt else then it's hard for someone to form an opinion enough to be able to write you a decent mail.

First contact isn't the easiest thing in the world because let's face it we're under pressure to make a good first impression. Manners are a must. A little effort is a MUST and ppl wt spl lk dis how r u, wat, lol OMG CATS!? Well...ahem...just 'well!'.

Fortunately a lot of people on here actually DO have good profiles, and more power to them for putting the time in. You reap what you sow. At the end of the day don't take it personally, plug on and who knows if you don't get disheartened maybe you'll find what you're looking for.
 Sherlock101
Joined: 1/4/2007
Msg: 34
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Is there snobbery around repling
Posted: 2/13/2009 7:05:08 AM
Mala I agree with you...

I have seen profiles where women state, "If you don't hear back from me it just means I don't think we are a match." I think that's a great idea and relieves them of most future harassment.
 Average White Male
Joined: 1/8/2009
Msg: 35
Is there snobbery around repling
Posted: 2/17/2009 3:43:07 AM
'Personally, I get a few first contact emails and if not interested I reply back with a polite no thanks.'

Actually this is something that has bothered me in the past. I've received a few mails from people who for whatever reason I didn't feel suited to - just the way it is. I always felt bad about not replying but didn't want to rub salt in the wound with a 'no thanks' reply. In any case I took Sherlock's advice and responded to a mail I'd received with a polite 'no thanks, best of luck etc.' She emailed me back and wrote 'thanks for replying and good luck with your search.' I can only wish her as much luck too. So, I suppose what I'm saying is that it doesn't hurt to offer a quick response. If the other person doesn't get the hint or is offensive in their reply, THEN you don't reply and if needs be - hit the old block button.
 MalaSam
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 36
Is there snobbery around repling
Posted: 2/17/2009 4:11:09 AM
Sherlock thats a great idea I think I will put that up on my profile with a few changes


If you don't hear back from me it just means .......

That you sent me a 'Hi how are you' and I couldnt be bothered replying to that cause its obvious you didnt read my profile.

Or, I had 74 males in my box thismorning and didnt have the time to reply

Or, thats a fake pic I have........Im really your ex girlfriend and Im checking up on you!

or, That Im a shallow money seeking wrech who took one look at your picture and occupation and thought.......no way.





And yes I know I said male.................
 Sherlock101
Joined: 1/4/2007
Msg: 37
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Is there snobbery around repling
Posted: 2/17/2009 5:53:39 AM

And yes I know I said male.................
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