| Momma's boy
Posted: 12/19/2008 4:54:36 PM | | If people see these guys as being a "mama's boy" from the beginning why even stay involved??? lmfao These guys won't change. BORING. | |
|
| Momma's boy
Posted: 6/14/2009 8:37:17 PM | Hi All
I am new here but I just wanted to throw my two cents in. Since I am not using a name I think I am following the rules.
I think I can top all of you! :)
I dated a guy who was 48 and had always lived at home with his parents! According to his mother he never paid anything to live with them. He had only had one other real relationship other than with me.
It was the most unbelievable thing I had ever seen. His parents demanded to know where he was, who he was with, how long he would be.
The one other relationship he had ended because his Mother ended it. She did the same thing with me.
She would sit there and insult me and he would sit there and say nothing. Sick sick sick is all I can say.
These men tend to be manipulators and always promise things will change.... they won't ever change! After two years I ended it.
My only advice to anyone in this situation is to RUN..... fast and not look back.
Move on and find someone who holds you in the highest regard and puts YOU first. Parents play an important role in all of our lives, but RUNNING their son's life is not at all the way it should be.
Good luck to you in your search for a REAL man. | |
|
| Momma's boy
Posted: 6/18/2009 11:04:58 AM | | Ya I know it sounds stupid but this guy was very manipulative -- promising all kinds of things --- You know what it's like when you fall in love. Brain cells turn to jello LMAO. I just hope others read this and if I can prevent one other woman from getting into this situation then that's great | |
|
| Momma's boy
Posted: 6/18/2009 11:12:26 AM | ^^^^ So what you seem to be saying is there's hope after all for momma's boys - or even those who still just live at home - that they're not universally despised and shunned after all.
| |
|
| Momma's boy
Posted: 7/26/2009 3:03:58 PM | | I dated mooma boys, was i was engaged to andf the other one i was with for 5 yrs. Trust me mooma 's boys are no good. They will always put you on the back burner. I wa sos happy when i broke up with both of these momma's boys. | |
|
| Momma's boy
Posted: 9/4/2009 9:12:51 AM | And daddy's girls are no good either. They are spoiled gold diggers.
Jason the Fed | |
|
| Momma's boy
Posted: 9/4/2009 9:32:11 AM | I've been out with more than one 'mummy's boy' - men who are very close to their mothers and their mothers still cluck and fuss around after them, once they are all grown up.
The first one used to take his washing from a city in Yorkshire to his parent's house - a 40 minute or so drive - at weekends, so his mum could wash and iron it for him. He had a washing machine, I should add. On a weekend his mum would run round after him and his brother, his brother was younger and still single. Both of them relied heavily on their mum - who was a diamond.
The second one would come home and his mum would've re-arranged his house, or added a new furry rug or something! She would do his sewing etc for him.
The worst case of 'mummy's boy' I ever knew though was a guy who moved into his own cottage, privately renting - so he could get his own space incase he managed to get a girlfriend. When women weren't interested in him, and every woman he pursued backed away, he said he was "giving up" and hence wanted to move back in with his mummy, and kid sister - who both adored him. He showed me a photo of his mother and he looked like a male clone of her... he said he was so close to her because his real dad had left them, when he was little.
Personally I believed it was a backwards step for him because he'd tried being independent, didn't like it - and ended up going home to mummy and adoring kid sis regularly, as well as spending weekends with 'em. So instead of remaining independent so he would improve his chances of more shags, he missed his mum too much. I thought it was pathetic... and that was before I realised what he was. | |
|
| Momma's boy
Posted: 9/4/2009 9:39:56 AM | Wow! I thought I was in trouble because of the whole infantilism thing. But now there is a 'Momma Boy' prejudice too?!
That's right readers! I am a "Momma's Boy", well at least the 'loose' definition presented in this thread. Actually, I should clear that up hear-and-now:
(Since this is not a "real word" I am using the 'Urban Dictionary')
1. momma's boy 111 up, 19 down
1) A grown male still dependent on his mother.
2) A grown male who allows or desires his mother to control most aspects or decisions
of his life for him.
I thought I loved him until I realized he was a momma's boy who can't do anything without his mother's permission or approval.
I can definatly agree with #1, but #2 is a BIG NO, as is the "usage" at the bottom.
Regardless, all that the definition really tells me (us?) is that it is a prejudice term that should not be used as a blanket, if at all. If you do not want a relationship with someone that lives this way, then don't. But it is not fair to publish "warnings" and "alerts" about them. Do you do the same for other religious ideals? How about sexual preference? Skin color?
"Watch out for 'Momma's Boys' they are real bad!"
"Watch out for 'Christians' they are real bad!"
"Watch out for 'Homosexuals' they are real bad!"
"Watch out for 'Asian People' they are real bad!"
If you have a problem with any ONE of these statements, you should have a problem with them all, period. If you do not have a problem with all of these statments, then this entire post is moot.
Let's see, going against me: "Blunt", "No Sex", "Infantilism", "Momma's Boy". I still can say: "I know why I am on a dating site, and why I am looking to just hang-out." | |
|
| Momma's boy
Posted: 10/18/2009 6:11:50 PM | | I had my fair share of momma's boys in my life time. They will listen to their mommys and do what she says. They will put mommy before you. It hurts I know but its better now then later when you are married to them. | |
|
| Momma's boy
Posted: 10/18/2009 6:15:20 PM | This is his fault, not his Mom's.
Okay she could tell him to sort his own stuff out, but as a grown man, he should know what's what. | |
|
| Momma's boy
Posted: 11/2/2009 11:10:14 AM |
So my heart's been broken by a Momma's boy. You can't win. I don't even know why we took it to the level of living together. Now he's moved some of his stuff out, leaving most of it, telling me to throw it away.
Alright, so you claim he is a "momma's boy" let's take a look at the evidence...
He was living at his Mom's. He moved back in there 5 years ago. They have this weird co-dependancy on each other. He does everything for her. She is a healthy 60 year old woman who works full time.
Alright, why did he move back in 5 years ago? Please define "weird co-dependency" since that is pretty general, my idea of weird is not the same as anothers. "He does everything for her." Well since he lives there, it is nice that he decided to pitch in with the chores. I mean she is 60 years old, and he is strapping young lad. Or do you think he should be sitting on his ass, and letting his 60 year old mom do all the work?
We were living just 3 miles from her, and they would text and talk every night. He even spent 4 nites a week over there having dinner and doing stuff around her house for her.
Did you ever express your disdain for this behavior? Methinks you did not, since you are omitting the data here I bet you are the type that makes men "read their minds". After all "He should just know what is wrong.", right?
Everyday he would go over there to feed the dogs and clean up for her so that she didn't have to when she got home from work.
That is a really nice thing to do! Did he not do similar things for you? I notice a lack of that data. Could be that he didn't do the nice things for you, but I bet that isn't true. Did you have to do labor after getting off of a hard day of work? Or was that treat saved for his mom alone?
On the nites I was at work, he'd have dinner with her.
So instead of visiting his mother, he was supposed to sit home alone thinking of you? Someone has an ego problem, and it ain't the momma.
Plenty more I am sure, but that is enough to show me that this is just a pity thread that never was deleted. I gave the loose definition of "momma's boy" above, and this fellow doesn't seem to fit it in the least. The OP is long gone I assume, so the answers will never come. Still, interesting questions/points...
He went right back to his Mom's. And he's 35. Pitiful. He tells me this is my fault. I think it's his Mom's fault. | |
|
| Momma's boy
Posted: 11/3/2009 8:43:15 AM | | Yes, it's a quote from the bible but it has a lot of revelance even for non-religious people. Some men just don't understand that their relationship with their mom needs to change when they grow up. My son is five years old. He recently told me that when he grows up he's going to marry me. That's because I am the center of his little world right now. I meet all his needs; I feed him, clothe him, nurture and discipline him. But when he becomes a man not only will I not be able to meet his adult needs but it would be foolish and inappropriate for me to do so. And equally as inappropriate for him to continue look to me to to do it. As mothers we need to let our sons know that it's okay for them to love another woman. We need to encourage the separation put down our own boundary lines of respect and privacy between a man and his woman. Maybe his mom is at fault here as well. "Leaving" your parent(s) is not an act of disloyalty but rather of a healthy progression into manhood/womanhood. It works both ways, not just trying to harp on the men. By the way, you're better off without him because at this point, he'll probably never get it. Peace. | |
|
| Momma's boy
Posted: 11/3/2009 2:50:07 PM | Hmm....
I didn't know that was the definition of momma's boy (or daddies girl) for that matter.
I must be in a catagory all by myself. I don't let my mom tell me what to do....I don't need to ask her about anything or feel forced to listen to what she says.....I don't live at home and don't mooch. I have had to move back in for 2-4 months when I was laid off from a job.....but once obtaining a new job always meant that I moved out pronto. Even 2 months at home with mom and dad and I get antsy to get out on my own...sometimes the economy isn't as favorable.
My mom my freind and that's all.....not someone I suck up to....
Having said that......I don't feel emotionally as If I had a loving mother. I look for that in people I would consider dating. Probably wrong....but I don't even really think about sex when considering dating....My need for affection is too strong.
Wonder what they call that when a guy needs quite a bit more affection (and not sex) in his female relationships. (going after cougars...i think not). | |
|
| Momma's boy
Posted: 11/3/2009 3:14:39 PM | My former husband was a quintessential "Momma's Boy;" in fact, I knew intuitively that when she relocated to our state that our marriage was probably going to be in serious trouble.
On our wedding day, he was driving her to the site - and she threw a tantrum, leapt out of his car at an intersection, and ran away. Of course he had to park and go find and appease her, arriving late to his own wedding.
She had him at a very young age; his father left and she never again became involved with a man. Her little boy was her "man." It was sick.
He has struggled with addiction all of his life; she is a wonderful enabler for him. After all, if he's useless, sick and strung out, he will never stop needing her.
No more momma's boys for me!
Mme. C. | |
|
| Momma's boy
Posted: 11/4/2009 12:34:47 PM | Looking into the OP's posts some more, I found the lie! And here is the proof (At least in my opinion.)
We were living just 3 miles from her, and they would text and talk every night. He even spent 4 nites a week over there having dinner and doing stuff around her house for her.
First, this is stated. Take note on the "key point" spent 4 nights a week over there
This is classic manipulation. The OP has created the "momma's boy" image by this point, and is solidifying it with a lack of data. Right now you see Poindexter at his moms house 4 nights a week. Well, let us see what he would have been doing if he was not over at his mothers...
On the nites I was at work, he'd have dinner with her.
Uh oh!! What was that first point again?
Spends 4 nights a week at his mothers
But now we learn this:
On nights OP worked he did the dinner with mom
So the OP worked 4 nights a week, and expected her mate to do anything except visit his mother whilst the OP worked. But wait! There's more!
I have been at work all day (I work 10a-10p on Sat) and that's why I am on here, just agonizing over this and ****ing and moaning and playing the victim.
Now we learn that at least one of the days she works 12 hours! And it is a Saturday! Now that our Poindexter can't visit his mother, I guess he will just have to take a nap. Hold on, we still aren't done!
I am off Sun-Wed - so this is gonna be the tough time. Lonely as hell.
A-ha! Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday We now know that she has 4 days off, maybe a week. But, more importantly, she REALIZES THAT BEING ALONE IS LONELY!
So maybe he is not so much of a "Momma's boy" for wanting company when the OP was at work? Let's wait and see...
Me and his Mom had it out via email. She said some very hurtful things. I blamed her for all his problems.
Great, now she goes an insults his mother. Or is telling a mother that she is the reason her son is a failure not an insult? I wonder who sent the first e-mail?
This has been a lesson in "Jumping to Conclusions", I tried to keep this post on-topic. Though I admit it was hard to find a topic in all this "woe-is-me pity party 98' " antics. I still hold that this is a pity thread that made it past deletion, of course it seems to have changed into a "date/don't date" thread on "Momma's boys". With that being the case, who do I talk to to get the "real" definition of "Momma's boy" and how do I know that is the 'right' one? | |
|
| Momma's boy
Posted: 11/5/2009 5:15:52 PM | Would it be easier, if he left you for another girl.
I don't think living with your parents makes you a momma's boy or girl. Maybe, he couldn't afford to get his own place immediately. It would be worse to stay in your apartment, even though it wasn't working out. At least he moved out ... | |
|
| Momma's boy
Posted: 11/5/2009 5:22:40 PM | | If he is a Mama's boy then you cannot change him. What a pity at 35 he cannot stand on his own. I despise Mama's boy or someone who cannot stand by himself without the mother's approval. Never ever get involve with one because it will not do you any. You will be suffering. Maybe it is a good sign or it is better that he moved out. This gives you time to sort out yourself and your feelings and ready to tell yourself to move on and start your life in a different prospective. Good luck to you. | |
|
| Momma's boy
Posted: 11/5/2009 5:25:19 PM | I married one at the age of 54...he was 57. No clues of what was to come. At age 59 he sent a text that he had gone back to Mom's...she has broken up every relationship he or his brother ever tried to have...or he has allowed this to happen. If I tried to do this to my married children, 33 and 30, they would tel me where to get off. I would never try to ruin their lives..
He took my heart...wants to come back after she dies..she is 83..It won't happen, he can never return. She controls with purse strings. Be careful...have long engagement, losing your love to another woman is bad, but losing to his mother???
I have moved on. | |
|
| Momma's boy
Posted: 11/10/2009 5:26:38 PM | | Mama's boys suck... no matter what. Time to grow up and leave mommy and mommy has to let him go. I have a friend that ended up marrying a mama's boy, and what a mess the mother did to their marriage. She intereferred with them to the point that the marriage was really bad. In the end, the wife said to her hubby it's your mother or me. They separated for 9 months, but in the end, he decided that he loved his wife enough to want to be with her. They got back together, but it took about another year and a half of adjustments. However, I do think he got over his mom and decided that his wife is his wife, and his mother is not his wife. They ended up having a baby, and that was the best thing for them ever. He realized in the end, thank goodness, that the 3 of them are a family of their own now. The mom is really good to the wife now, but it did take a lot of doing. | |
|
Home
login 
