| Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 12/15/2008 9:15:25 PM | Op
Men like women who look act like they like them. Very easy you do not have to play dumb if you see a guy you like look at him and give him the are you up for the chase smile. Hardly ever fails esp if you do a ring check. You can be funny just let him know he is too. You can be smart just let him be smart to and do not compeat he is not your brother and a date is not a game. Be kind interested and cool.
I've had 4 guys ask me to be their bride. Too high a number ask me to move in. I tell you men are people and people like to be with people who like them and do not try to make them look/feel small. | |
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| Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 12/15/2008 9:25:31 PM | Short guys on Short guy threads blame their height.
Nice Guys assume it is because they are Nice.
BBWs assume it is their size.
The number of times The Forums have featured threads
from men who wish to chastise women for claiming to
value a Sense of Humor but somehow overlooking their talent
for telling knock-knock jokes isn’t funny....and neither are most
of the OPs of those threads.
We all can make the mistake of blaming one aspect of ourselves
for our being single OP. “Oh if only wo/men valued MY
unique type of Human Being, my problem of being single would end !
Why can’t wo/men change? Why do they like ______????
MY talent is so much better !"
OP you have not found the Right Guy. The guys you have met
are not “shallow”, they just were not YOUR guy. Calling them
“Shallow” is ...well, perhaps shallow, but defiantly a mistake.
Blaming their taste could make you seem bitter, impatient, or
desperate. I am fairly sure none of those things are high
on most mens list of attractive features that they desire in a woman.
But ....what the hell do i know ?  | |
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| Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 12/15/2008 9:30:04 PM | It really depends on what you mean by "intelligent and witty". I know a lot of extremely intelligent women and they, for the most part, are all very interesting and fun people to be around. By intelligent I mean they are all well informed, have extensive education in highly technical fields and have the common sense to go along with it. I like this type of woman.
On the other hand, there are also some very intelligent women who like to make people feel stupid. I've met someone like this. I liked her very much originally and we hit it off right away. Evidently, I failed some kind of intellectual "sharpness" test within a few weeks and the intellectual contempt that exuded from her was practically palpable. Make a slight intellectual mistake, and she'd cut you down with a statement designed to make you feel as stupid as possible. A less intelligent woman would be incapable of doing this with her level of finesse, so it is her intelligence combined with her personality that makes me dislike her. A few people that know her pointed out something else to me: she classifies people as a) people that are smarter than her whom she needs to befriend and b) people that are dumber than her that she can use. At some point, she thought I was (a) but when I didn't seem to fit the bill, she couldn't put me in (b) so she became nasty. | |
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| Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 12/16/2008 1:32:57 AM |
I'm not trying to sound arrogant by any means, but are men intimidated by this? Or, am I just meeting the wrong (shallow) people
if you are intelligent? then why are you attracting shallow people?
no you don't sound arrogant.
not at all. | |
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| Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 12/16/2008 7:20:13 PM |
On the other hand, there are also some very intelligent women who like to make people feel stupid.
I'm sure there ARE some, but sometimes I am guilty of correcting guys--I'm NOT doing it to show them up or make them feel stupid, but I HATE when people have NO IDEA what they're talking about, yet state in no uncertain terms that such-n-such is truth (when I know it's NOT). And be truthful, men, if another man were to correct you under those circumstances, you wouldn't even think twice of it, but when a woman does it, suddenly she's an emasculating wench.
I am the sort of HUMAN who cannot let misinformation be out there--if you tell the entire bar that Nomar Garciaparra played for the Mets, am I supposed to keep my mouth shut? I played rugby for 20 years and this guy was trying to tell me the laws--and he was wrong. I am not the sort of person who can just "let it go"--who is?! | |
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| Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 12/16/2008 7:52:25 PM | No, I don't think you are arrogant it is because you have principals and you are not going to settle to someone lower than your principals. I think men who go for sexpots it is because that is where there head is at meaning they are dumb. Probably with their low sense of self worth they feel they don't deserve someone good. What do you think of my comment?
Anita | |
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| Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 12/16/2008 7:56:19 PM |
And be truthful, men, if another man were to correct you under those circumstances, you wouldn't even think twice of it, but when a woman does it, suddenly she's an emasculating wench.
Being corrected by a woman isn't the problem. By all means, point out that there's a mistake. Just don't do it like the person who made the mistake is contemptible. There are also men who do this and I dislike them just as much. Most people do not do this even if they argue points all the time, it's only a certain subset of very intelligent people that do this.
The woman that I mentioned sticks out in my mind simply because I liked her and found her interesting initially. It was her intelligence that attracted me to her first, but when combined with her personality, it also drove me away. | |
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| Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 12/16/2008 7:56:42 PM | They don't.
What they get turned off is by a woman who seems like they are someone they have to compete with.
Being intelligent and witty is highly attractive...being a know it all or being overly aggressive is not to most men. | |
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| Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 12/16/2008 8:06:02 PM | You mentioned above "if you are intelligent then why are you attracting shallow people?" Well, this kind of comment sounds very judgmental and presumptious. A lot of women are intelligent but there are the players who like to get a kick out of picking these intelligent women in order to brake them down. It is a big challenge for these players. If the woman is dumb, there is no challenge for these players.
Get it.
Anita | |
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| Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 12/16/2008 8:07:31 PM | Re the Opost
IME:
a) "Okay, from my person experience, only a small demographic of men actually like women who portray themselves as classy, intelligent beings with a great sense of humor."
IME, the operative words here are "portray themseleves as".
A woman who claims/portrays herself as intelligent or witty are not necessarily so.
Plus someone does not actually characterise one's own self as "classy", that is something for others to observe and point out.
Plus what many women consider intelligent is, often, alas, simply pseud0-intelligent or obnoxious and what is witty is often nothing more than banter.
b) "They may say that these are fantastic attributes, yet I constantly see men chasing the stereotypical sexpot."
Generally speaking of course, a "stereotypical sexpot" is a better alternative to a pseudo intelligent, bantering one.
c) "I've also been dumped a couple times for someone deemed "more attractive", and or frankly dumb."
More attractive does not necessarily mean dumb!!!!!
Plus as other has pointed out, looks are important as well.
d) "I'm not trying to sound arrogant by any means, but are men intimidated by this?"
It does indeed sound arrogant, in spite the valiant effort not to.
Intimidation is not the operative word here, IMO.
e) "Or, am I just meeting the wrong (shallow) people?"
That's a possibility! | |
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| Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 12/16/2008 8:13:05 PM | | I question what you mean by "know it all". A woman has the right to her own voice in this country called Canada. In the global world, women especially in Asian and foreign countries tend to think they should be pleasing the men first before anyone else. Yet, here in Canada, women are becoming more progressive in pleasing themselves more before men and that if a man comes into their world it is for the right reason. Men tend to always downgrade women in general based on my experience and if a man starts to pressure me or makes me feel stupid, well, look out, the roaring lion shows up somehow. You see, if a man is tender like a **** cat then he will receive unconditional love and stroking from a woman in this part of the world. Us positive women don't want to sell ourselves short. | |
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| Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 12/16/2008 8:19:49 PM | Re post 40:
"...In the global world, women especially in Asian and foreign countries tend to think they should be pleasing the men first before anyone else...."
What type of evidence is that assertion / "theory" based on? | |
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| Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 12/16/2008 9:34:15 PM | I personally couldn't stand to be with a woman who is too stupid, no matter how physically attractive she might be, even for meaningless sex. But no matter how witty a woman might be, the chemistry still has to be there.
IMNSHO, you do look good enough that you should attract a decent number of guys, though I wouldn't advise putting "prefer not to say" for your body type without a full body pic so people could decide that for themselves (as I did, not knowing whether "slim" or "athletic" was the better choice). | |
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| Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 12/16/2008 10:45:23 PM | | I have always said that a man with a hot sexy body is a good thing, but if he is a himbo then I am just not interested. I know many men who feel the same way about women. So, I would have to agree with the other posters who relate this to having an agenda of getting laid as oppossed to wanting a relationship. | |
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b00m
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Joined: 10/13/2008
Msg: 44 | |
| Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 12/17/2008 2:13:09 AM | | I have had several acquaintances who would be considered socially classy in any respect try to do a "makeover" on me, to make me socially adept and oriented like they are. What made me resist said training is knowing how they act when it comes time to abandon the social persona, and if adopting that persona means giving up what I have now, then paint me a classless(?) barbarian who is content with what he has. | |
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| Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 12/17/2008 7:14:47 AM | Men like smart, funny, witty women.
They also like demure, sexy, confident and girly women.
Can we have the happy medium?? Can you make yourself up a little better? Wear makeup and get your hair done perhaps? Do yourself every day as if you were attending a wedding... that's what I say (minus the dress). Most women say they are most attractive and "done up' at weddings. You ask them why and they say "because that's when you have to look your best". Fine... don't you want to look your best as much as possible?? So do it.
Intelligent + witty + hot and done up = bada BING!
I would think the total package would help your chances of getting/keeping a guy you like. There is nothing wrong with being a an intelligent het/sexy woman... or at least working and using what you have and making the most of it. | |
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| Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 12/17/2008 8:32:25 AM | I think jakeya99 hit it on the nose. I belive that men and women both would like a partner who has many facets and is well rounded.
Some men like women who are independent and can be a feminine woman, who enjoys the strength and support of a man in her life. I am one of those women, and make absolutely no excuses for it. I like men who are independent and strong, while at the same time have a need to be nurtured by a woman who cares about them. I have always believed that the strengths of one compensate the weaknesses of the other, and together are a force to be reconded with. | |
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| Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 12/17/2008 8:47:16 AM | I know all sorts of people. Some who think they are smart, some who think they are witty, some who think they are both. Some ARE both.
The ones that are the MOST annoying are those who are smart and go out of their way to "prove" that constantly to the point of it just being obnoxious.
Not saying you are OP, but...just sayin' | |
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| Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 12/17/2008 9:20:37 AM | I like how the structure of the thread title and post, unwittingly insinuates that a man must be obligated to be attracted to every intelligent and witty woman he meets.
I consider myself intelligent and witty (relatively). Many women don't want to date me.
Obviously, this means people don't like inteligent and witty people.
Or maybe it's because intelligence and wit is only but one faucet of a many-sided octogon that encompases a person.
A person maybe intelligent and witty, but they may also be a paranoid schizophrenic. They may have psychosocial issues, they may be just plain rude, or have low self-worth.
Others may be just plain ugly. Not saying you're ugly - but some are. Am I obligated to want to date a woman that I deem ugly or not attractive, as long as she has only but two sides of the octogon to fit with me?
there are so many more factors than just those two attributes. And one can have those two attributes and be an absolute horrible person. Sociopaths tend to be intelligent and witty. Would you date someone who has no belief in morality, whatsoever?
Often times, we see our own strengths. So much so, that we fail to notice our shortcomings - or we don't want to. We can idealize and say that intelligence and wit and heart are all that matters. In an ideal world, well, it would. But the world is not ideal, the world is real.
The question you should ask yourself shouldn't be
"Do guys not like witty and intelligent women?"
You should ask
"What are my shortcomings that I can improve upon that make me less attractive to men?"
Course, only you can answer that. But nobody ever wants to hold personal accountability.
It's always someone else's fault. Men are pigs, Men only care if you're pretty, etc. | |
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| Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 12/17/2008 9:41:14 AM | | Well Hippybooster ( and a groovy name that is ) Personality, intellect and self respect are all qualities I look for in women. Physical appearance is absolutely important as well. Physical appearances are often the first attributes we notice in each other and many guys make the classic mistake of thinking that what looks good outside MUST be good inside. Yes, some guys seem to be dating faces and bodies, but we are not all so shallow. | |
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