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| Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 12/24/2008 9:11:05 AM | In my experience, the only men who do not appreciate an intelligent, witty woman are the ones who are trying to pull the wool over her eyes! Those guys will avoid smart women like the plague.
In most cases, I think they do want a woman who has a brain and wit to go with it. Common interests and being on the same level is part of the recipe in making a great relationship. | |
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| Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 12/24/2008 9:35:26 AM | Humility, or being humble, is the defining characteristic of an unpretentious and modest person, someone who does not think that he or she is better or more important than others.
I think everyone should ask themselves if they are humble. There's so much in this posting where people are portraying themselves as better than other people for one reason or another. If someone doesn't like you and chooses another person to date for any reason, does that make them shallow? Or is this simple their preference?
Maybe you think the person is dumb, but other people may see them as having common sense. Don't be so quick to judge people based on your view point alone without getting to know them.
We all choose people based on physical characteristics that we want them to have. Is there anyone out there that can honestly say they would be willing to have a relationship with someone that is not physically attractive to them? Why else do we put height, race, hair color, etc in the posts as well as pictures on the profile? | |
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| Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 12/24/2008 9:42:42 AM | Of course we all have our preferences in an SO's attributes and physical appearance is part of that. However, I would like a man to have more than a couple of brain cells to knock together and express it through with and sometimes, deep, thoughtful conversation. If he and I do not connect on that level, it won't work for me at all and I don't care how good looking he may be!
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| Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 12/24/2008 11:23:45 AM | To #102: Women are oppressed in other areas (child brides in numerous countries die from having children too young, sex traffiking goes on as close to the US as Haiti, not to mention in Europe, a large percentage of Russian women expect to be beaten by their husbands, the caste system of India ruins a lot of opportunities for men and women), and US and Western European women are, in this respect, doing quite well. I would think that "women are oppressed everywhere" is pretty obvious. If you look at the news, the main thing going on in Darfur and the Congo is not only the mass-murder, but also rape and sexual assault against women as part of the warfare.
What is the "other side" of feminism? People don't realize feminism is almost in sync the gay rights movement (at the time a hell of a lot of white guys and still continues to be) since it advocated the end of the "emotionless man" (guys can't cry! guys only express anger! be a man about it! drink some beer or smoke a cigar!), and that masculinity (as it always has been, so is femininity) a complete social construct that people don't naturally fall into. I know quite a few guys who probably would have been epically mocked (they're very sweet, polite, caring straight men) if it wasn't for someone saying "Being a guy is not so concrete". Men actually benefit from feminism. Example: With feminism, it's not always expected for men to be breadwinners (see: househusbands) and most kids live in a two-income household. (That, however, doesn't mean that women can't stay at home (even not-so-feminists will get down your throat about "omg that's degrading!!!!", which isn't fvcking feminist) and one of the major tenets of it is CHOICE. It's your life, do what you want. Before it, there wasn't much a woman could do, and she was always expected to drop her "silly" job and take care of the kids (if she didn't have kids, something was wrong with her) or she was a "bad mom". Things that still pervade today (mainly amongst other women, disgustingly enough)). Also, please take into account that Affirmative Action helps men of color (let's not argue this, the system is flawed and we're all aware and when people get upset about this it brings out the racism in droves).
To add: http://www.thefword.org.uk/features/2003/05/men_in_feminism
http://www.xyonline.net/misc/pffaq.html
Did not mean to hijack the thread D: | |
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| Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 12/25/2008 4:21:53 PM | sure there are other areas, i never said theres NOTHING else, its just that militant feminism sees oppression EVERYWHERE without seeing both sides to the story, i took a class on this and its nothing but bullshit
example: this 'girl watching' supposedly being degrading/oppressing to women because men treat them as objects, which neglects that the subjects of girl watching are often catty bitches and purposely invite it. not ALWAYS, but often | |
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Indi85
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Joined: 6/12/2008
Msg: 107 | |
| Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 12/26/2008 12:33:40 AM | Right Western women are not oppressed at all. In fact, when I see women in the media, they dont come off as sexualized objects at all. You're also right about how Western men never abuse their women, mistreat them, or any of that sort. You're right, Western men totally know how to treat their women right.
The Western man is the ideal of what the pinnacle of man can be like. :banana: | |
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| Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 12/26/2008 1:42:21 AM | Well **** me sideways, I WISH there were more intelligent, classy gals around here. On this site, 95% of the girls' profiles within reasonable driving distance to me include at least three of the following in their interests section: partying, getting drunk, hunting, fishing, mudding, hangin out, cruising, and texting. I mean seriously, what kind of guy wants to date a girl whose main goal in life is to kill animals all week and then get drunk and talk about all the animals she killed this week?
Life in Arkansas... | |
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| Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 12/26/2008 12:52:29 PM | | I once dated a man that I had to dumb myself down for. He got very angry at me for using "big" words. LOL. I shouldn't have dropped my vocabulary temporarily but I should have dropped him permanantly (which I later did...not soon enough). I'm getting better with the red flags now. | |
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| Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 12/26/2008 1:22:29 PM | Fly your flags at half mast if you feel that you must change who you are, in order to be what another just might expect you to be.......
Dumb yourself down???......shakes head..........It is so easy to be average and so hard to be exceptional......think about it..... 
Just my opinion.......   | |
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| Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 12/26/2008 2:43:24 PM | My main fear is to meet a boring lady, i'm always more at ease and more attracted to 'brilliant' ladies, they have deeper sensibility and are more open minded to a complex brain (mine? LOL). These type of ladies like my sense of humour and like how 'different' i am . It is cool because it is like a mutual 'natural selection'.  | |
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| Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 12/27/2008 2:08:52 AM | Okay, from my person experience, only a small demographic of men actually like women who portray themselves as classy, intelligent beings with a great sense of humor. They may say that these are fantastic attributes, yet I constantly see men chasing the stereotypical sexpot. I've also been dumped a couple times for someone deemed "more attractive", and or frankly dumb. I'm not trying to sound arrogant by any means, but are men intimidated by this? Or, am I just meeting the wrong (shallow) people? I'd like to hear your opinions, or stories. Thanks!
Two things come to mind. "..women who portray themselves as.." Maybe it's that posing is taken as insincere. And maybe those same men would go for a woman who was those things but not one who portrays herself as being those things.
The other thing that comes to mind is, just how many smart people do you think there are, and why would anyone want to go out with someone noticeably smarter than themselves, which you would be unless they, too, enjoyed portraying themselves that way.
I understand that you're not trying to sound arrogant but that is how you do sound anyway. It is arrogant to stand above other people and ask why they do not appreciate your betterness for all its splendors. No matter if it is a valid question and accurate to ask, it is arrogant. Arrogance is the disregard of others' importance. It comes with the territory when you value yourself and others by wit.
Men and women dislike any experience that they come away from feeling put down. In sports there is winning and then their is gloating. It's good to try hard and win, but not by too many points. And it's always bad taste to gloat over it. In sports they sometimes use handicapping to even the competition. In betting they give odds. In dating there is no way to even things up so that after having spent the date requiring agreement about how smart you are, the man can't help but feel himself the loser. Unless the date ends with sex. But that's not going to happen because the very smart woman is looking for great conversation and she can't get that from a man who smiles and nods during dinner waiting for the wordless dessert.
Intelligent and witty men like intelligent and witty women. How many of those are there? I mean, aside from those of us who just think we are. | |
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| Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 12/27/2008 4:59:22 AM |
Well **** me sideways, I WISH there were more intelligent, classy gals around here. On this site, 95% of the girls' profiles within reasonable driving distance to me include at least three of the following in their interests section: partying, getting drunk, hunting, fishing, mudding, hangin out, cruising, and texting.
lmao! add a loud-assed harley to the mix and you have every indiana man's idea of heaven on earth. | |
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| Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 12/27/2008 8:26:54 AM |
I once dated a man that I had to dumb myself down for. He got very angry at me for using "big" words. LOL. I shouldn't have dropped my vocabulary temporarily but I should have dropped him permanantly (which I later did...not soon enough). I'm getting better with the red flags now.
LOL. I've been there before. | |
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| Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 12/27/2008 10:29:14 AM | I have met some older females who have displayed these qualities, they looked really beautiful in their dresses. But I didn't buy what they were selling.
I haven't really met any recently, if anything the closest to it would be goofy. | |
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| Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 12/27/2008 10:35:32 AM |
Okay, from my person experience, only a small demographic of men actually like women who portray themselves as classy, intelligent beings with a great sense of humor
there's a difference between portraying themselves as classy, intelligent beings with a great sense of humor, and actually BEING classy, intelligent beings with a great sense of humor.
most people who self-evaluate" their 'great qualities' are WRONG.. :) | |
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| Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 12/27/2008 3:27:04 PM | then again though i agree that most people who try really hard to act that way are bigoted, there is a double standard there
since most people are too stupid to see someone as intelligent or whatever because well, they're stupid, you cant really use other peoples opinions as a measure of that for the most part | |
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| Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 12/27/2008 3:47:57 PM | Intelligence attracts intelligence and stupidity, alike.
However, stupidity only attracts more stupidity!
Intelligence, wit, and sarcasm are like foreign languages.
And to simpletons, Ignorance is bliss.
Actually, I've discovered that my abstract and obscure thought processes sometimes work against me.
I come up with stuff out of left field, to use in my sense of humor.
Sometimes she doesn't get it and inadvertently makes her feel dumb.
But, It's not intended that way. It's just a foreign language that she don't know! | |
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Indi85
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Joined: 6/12/2008
Msg: 121 | |
| Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 12/27/2008 9:57:16 PM |
ROFL this is laughable, and men don't? Are you saying ONLY women go through this? And only women get seen as sexual objects?
I fail to see the humor and I never said, 'only'. I dont see where you pulled that off from, nor am I going to guess where, because I have a feeling that its somewhere that I dont want to know.
Most of the time, women are objectified as sexual objects more often than men, in fact the ratio would be heavily uneven.
Dont believe me? Google would be a good place to start looking at studies, reports, surveys, and evaluations carried out by Universities and other institutions of learning where you could find your evidence. If you need help, I can provide you with ample informationl. | |
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| Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 12/28/2008 11:43:31 AM | I consider myself to be a very intelligent and "classy" women....becuz I am! 
But if we know that men can be intimidated with smart, self-assured women, the best thing we can do is NOT spend our time correcting them and/or doing things to make them feel invalidated and inadequate!
I found your post to be very diplomatic and nicely put, Coruia. I, too, discovered that it just isn't worth it to correct other people when I know they are wrong. I have done this with someone very close, but with good intentions (so they wouldn't look stupid), but I have done so VERY DIPLOMATICALLY).
I have also found that just being intelligent can make men arrogant and cruel. This is an actual quote from someone's profile on another site that I happened to see. This thread happened to bring it to mind and I had to share it. IT SPEAKS VOLUMES!!!
"intelligent yet not a stuck up intellectual"   | |
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