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| Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 7/28/2009 12:19:28 PM | Maybe the men you date and have in your life are lazy and enjoy coasting, but your generalizations about this are as bad as the original OP and his statement.......
Seldom, if ever, am I intimidated, and my game has been on most, if not all my life, so one of my greatest fears is to NOT find women to enjoy that are witty, intelligent, and worthy of my time as much as I am theirs.
The real difficult part becomes to find that bright, intelligent, witty woman, that also has a body to die for, looks that will turn heads, and the desire to share themselves, in such a way, that there is no doubt that you two belong together.....in and out of bed.....
Just my opinion..........   | |
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| Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 7/29/2009 6:17:38 AM | Intelligence and wittiness are completely subjective, what you consider intelligent might not be someone else's definition of intelligent but, to me, someone I would consider intelligent is someone that can apply themselves to a science(s), think critically, be creative and be able to think for themselves instead of just following popular opinions.
Now, I think it's very important to mention too that, no matter how intelligent someone is, physical attraction is still very important. It's very common to see those who consider themselves intelligent to completely alienate the physical aspect of their lives but there needs to be a balance between physical and psychological.
I also want to point out that intelligence and wittiness won't overcome a poor attitude. If that feeling of superior intellect(whether justified or not) causes you to constantly insult the people you are with than you will be disliked. If you can be intelligent yet humble in your knowledge, that is very attractive(to me at least). | |
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| Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 7/29/2009 7:55:36 AM | ^^^ All good points.
Let's not forget that everyone thinks they are witty and intelligent as well. Could be that OP is just not Ms. Thang, like she wants to believe.
I could easily say that women don't want handsome, funny, intelligent guys because they're not contacting me. Doesn't make it true, and doesn't mean I'm all of the above just because I think I'm all those. | |
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| Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 7/29/2009 8:40:15 AM | Intelligence untempered by humility usually leads to condescension.
Wit without tact is merely abrasive.
Flaunted independence merely renders someone less approachable.
Any person that exhibits these "failings", male OR female, is likely to be branded a "smarta$$" by the general laity and shunned like a leper, no matter HOW "intelligent and witty" they believe themselves to be.
If there's one thing I've learned in my years of advanced-level schooling while mingling with the general student body, people don't care for those that flaunt their gifts in a gaudy fashion or are always calling attention to their "superior attributes"...
So if you are indeed blessed to be such an "evolved creature", you need not be a braggart; your talents will be recognized by their own merits and appreciated/admired by those wise enough to value them.  | |
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Sinnn
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Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 206 | |
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| Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 7/29/2009 5:53:39 PM | I don't doubt some men are intimidated by intelligent and witty women. But there's lots of confident men who aren't.
More realistically, they're probably just not attracted to unattractive, intelligent, witty women. And likely these unattractive, intelligent, witty women's defense mechanisms will kick in where they will reassure themselves that the only reason they were rejected is because men are intimidated by their intelligent and witty ways. Meanwhile, guys will be looking for a woman they find physically attractive, regardless of what her IQ is. | |
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| Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 7/29/2009 6:04:39 PM | | I wouldn't worry about who they chase, just focus on who you want to be and don't focus on dumb men who chase bimbos....Their relationships with the sexpots are shortlived and must leave them with an unsatisfied hunger if they still continue to chase...if they liked that sexpot so much, then they'd stick with her right? He or she gets dumped in the end....I would focus on the smarter guys out there... | |
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| Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 7/29/2009 8:59:01 PM |
More realistically, they're probably just not attracted to unattractive, intelligent, witty women. And likely these unattractive, intelligent, witty women's defense mechanisms will kick in where they will reassure themselves that the only reason they were rejected is because men are intimidated by their intelligent and witty ways. Meanwhile, guys will be looking for a woman they find physically attractive, regardless of what her IQ is.
While that may be true in some cases, I don't think it's all-encompassing.
I've seen a lot of people who fancy themselves as very intelligent and witty when what they *really* are is pompous. Many people think they're intelligent and so flaunt their smarts and point out everyone else's shortcomings (think Diane Chambers, here). Many people think they're witty when they're just condescending.
And then these people constantly get rejected and whine about how nobody likes them because they're too intelligent and too witty. Kind of like women who think that they're so beautiful that men are scared off by their beauty, when in reality men are scared off by their snobbishness and superficiality.
Oh, Lord, it's hard to be humble...
Meanwhile, those who are truly intelligent and witty and don't feel the need to flaunt it are drawing potential dates like honey draws flies. | |
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| Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 7/29/2009 9:19:40 PM | Dislike 'em? I couldn't find one with a dragnet!
As somebody else said, intelligence is subjective; I have a boatload of foreign film here that I'd almost pay cash money for a woman to sit down and watch with me; I love silent film, especially German Impressionist stuff, but I've never met a woman breathing that will hunker down for "The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari" or "Dr. Mabuse."
I think I'm the only person I know who's sat through the Ring Cycle, and therefore knows exactly why you should hate Wagner. I like quite a bit of opera, read most of the existential classics, and, when I'm in the mood, chew down comfortably on Debussy, Ravel and Satie.
Of course, this is the only place you'll read this. The rest of the time, it's stashed away like a porn collection, and I stick to '24,' cable TV and local radio so as not to scare people into thinking I'm some kind of snob braniac.
I'd kill for an "Intelligent" woman, if she's got the actual chops to back up the claim. | |
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| Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 7/29/2009 9:26:43 PM | Except you can do the same thing with one guy, and he thinks you're fun and ok, and do it with another, and he thinks you're pompous. I do think there are some people who, if something can be taken a good way and a bad way, they will ALWAYS assume the bad way was intended.
I had a guy on PoF get all psycho on me. He said he spoke several languages, and then in one email wrote to me, "Ni, blah blah."
I wrote back--Oh, is Ukrainian one of your languages? (I asked because my ex was Ukrainian, and I know a few phrases--"Ni" is "no")
He wrote back, "It was very important for you to point out my typing error, wasn't it?" and then proceeded to get psycho on me saying I'm pompous and a what a jerk etc.
I also had a guy, in the first email to me, say what an arrogant person I am, based solely on my profile (go look at it, I don't see anything that would indicate arrogance). I think, as has been said, "intelligent, witty" women are not everyone's cup of tea. | |
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| Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 7/30/2009 6:00:33 AM |
I had a guy on PoF get all psycho on me. He said he spoke several languages, and then in one email wrote to me, "Ni, blah blah."
I wrote back--Oh, is Ukrainian one of your languages? (I asked because my ex was Ukrainian, and I know a few phrases--"Ni" is "no")
He wrote back, "It was very important for you to point out my typing error, wasn't it?" and then proceeded to get psycho on me saying I'm pompous and a what a jerk etc.
lol, I'm gonna use that whenever I want to piss someone off with their spelling errors. | |
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| Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 7/30/2009 10:40:13 AM | i don't think that wanting someone sexually attractive, nubile, angel faced/ clear skin etc etc is shallow -it's a simple law of science that says men (who are heterosexual) will always prefer fertile/ youthful women when it comes to finding a mate because the offsrping are more likely to grow up healthy, happy and successful
as for men finding "witty" women unattractive - isn't "wit" just another way of being cruel?
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| Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 7/30/2009 3:41:30 PM | hippiebookster on 12/15/2008 10:08:28 AM
Subject: Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Message: Okay, from my person experience, only a small demographic of men actually like women who portray themselves as classy, intelligent beings with a great sense of humor. They may say that these are fantastic attributes, yet I constantly see men chasing the stereotypical sexpot. I've also been dumped a couple times for someone deemed "more attractive", and or frankly dumb. I'm not trying to sound arrogant by any means, but are men intimidated by this? Or, am I just meeting the wrong (shallow) people? I'd like to hear your opinions, or stories. Thanks!
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Where are ALL these alleged "intelligent" women? I have a high iq and am still waiting
to date a highly intelligent woman.   Whenever a women posts this question online I don't find her to be an "intellectual." I'm not bashing you OP and this isn't meant for you. I keep ending up with much lesser intelligent women...?
Do intelligent women swim in the same school of fish? Why do women think an advanced degree = intelligence? It doesnt-it only equals rote memory. I think the reverse; most women today are afraid of intelligent men who aren't yes men (who can think outside the box.)
Why when men online tell the truth (which is what every women professes to want) do we get bashed? Is it better if we lie? Yes I think so as the bad guys who abuse women get more play...
Peace
PS: An intellectual riddle for an intelligent woman: How would you, in the most bloodless way, invade any modern country around the world today? You can have your own private army or Citizens...and can you franchise this to other countries?
The above is based on history and can be altered per today. This shouldn't take long to answer and 1-2 paragraphs is more than enough. Any takers? Also it MUST be based on reality; that is, it must be doable. | |
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| Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 7/30/2009 3:43:55 PM | "I had a guy on PoF get all psycho on me. He said he spoke several languages, and then in one email wrote to me, "Ni, blah blah."
I wrote back--Oh, is Ukrainian one of your languages? (I asked because my ex was Ukrainian, and I know a few phrases--"Ni" is "no")
He wrote back, "It was very important for you to point out my typing error, wasn't it?" and then proceeded to get psycho on me saying I'm pompous and a what a jerk etc".
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The guy was speaking "mork" as in " Mork and Mindy" ala Robbin Williams. Don't let
him fool ya, he was probably an alien from Pluto. Be careful! Some of their private parts glow in the dark... | |
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| Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 7/30/2009 6:10:01 PM | My experience has been that these "intelligent and witty" women are very overbearing.
I am a perceptive person, I don't need to bowled over by your "PERSONALITY". Most of the time the outgoing behavior is over compensation.
I don't think it's intimidation, it is just perceived as boorish. Just like when dudes are in bars beating on their chests and bragging about whatever, (or just that gregarious idiot who actually uses pick-up lines), it is off putting.
And yes, I'll bet most beta men are willing to submit to the alpha woman. Hell, I'll submit to an alpha as well. But I haven't met many that were truly as advertised. I'm waiting! | |
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| Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 7/30/2009 6:31:50 PM | ?? How is intelligent or witty ever overbearing? You've just decsribed "attention-seeking", not witty nor intelligent. Now, slapstick can be overbearing. Intelligence isn't at all correlated to whether a person is an extrovert or not. Where are guys getting these "theories"???
When *I* think witty I think women like Tallulah Bankhead, Dorothy Parker, or Katherine Hepburn. So, yes, it can be acerbic, but it's funny as hell. And it's actually subtle, not at all "overbearing". Some examples of witty sayings by intelligent women:
"A little bad taste is like a nice dash of paprika. " DP
“If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner.” TB
"Dressing up is a bore. At a certain age, you decorate yourself to attract the opposite sex, and at a certain age, I did that. But I'm past that age. " KH
For men, Oscar Wilde is a classic example, and should resonate with a lot of you jaded men who, despite what you say, love women, still (you can't help it).
"A man can be happy with any woman as long as he does not love her."
"Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood."
"I prefer women with a past. They're always so damned amusing to talk to. " | |
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| Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 7/30/2009 6:41:52 PM |
When a woman shows her wit & intellect, she's perceived as controlling, etc. When she laughs at his jokes & asks him for advice she's perceived as hot.
We men may not all be Einsteins, but we do know the difference between intelligent and conniving. If a woman is going to hide her intellect, and pretend to be someone she is not, just to appear "hot", then I doubt she is worth getting to know.
I think Beta men love an outgoing intellectual woman
Beta males love any woman that looks at them twice.
Obviously, some men just want some arm candy. A woman who looks good, and doesn't have much to say. Some men grow past that, and want someone they can relate to on a personal and intellectual level. I guess some women have to ask themselves: do they want to appear acceptable to the first, or find someone like the latter? | |
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| Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 7/30/2009 6:55:23 PM | ?? How is intelligent or witty ever overbearing? You've just decsribed "attention-seeking", not witty nor intelligent. Now, slapstick can be overbearing. Intelligence isn't at all correlated to whether a person is an extrovert or not. Where are guys getting these "theories"??
Not a theory, empirical evidence. However, you are correct. But most of the time, if a woman has to tell me she is witty or intelligent, it usually equates to overbearing and overcompensating. My part regarding being a perceptive person, meant, I can see you are both witty and intelligent. Otherwise, we likely we would not be having this conversation. | |
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| Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 7/30/2009 7:43:19 PM | | I find myself pondering the same question about myself. I do enjoy charisma and big personalities, but I often wind up with men my friends say resemble cardboard. I don't necessarily go for looks, but in some of my LTR's I end up with men that are very calm and quiet. I personally am like the women you are speaking about, but instead of being a quiet intellectual I tend to be a loud brassy comedienne. I guess I tend to be attracted to my opposite, a quiet nerdy intellectual, while I remain the center of attention. Also, men are visual so you have to be attractive no matter how amazing your personality is, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Hold out for someone who will appreciate everything about you. | |
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| Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 7/30/2009 9:52:10 PM |
Okay, from my person experience, only a small demographic of men actually like women who portray themselves as classy, intelligent beings with a great sense of humor. They may say that these are fantastic attributes, yet I constantly see men chasing the stereotypical sexpot. I've also been dumped a couple times for someone deemed "more attractive", and or frankly dumb. I'm not trying to sound arrogant by any means, but are men intimidated by this? Or, am I just meeting the wrong (shallow) people? I'd like to hear your opinions, or stories. Thanks!
Have a look at candid celebrity snaps on holiday, there are a lot of pretty ordinary looking women who turn into goddesses on the cover of Vogue or the panoramic screen. Sharpen that technique a little if you're unhappy, and I do mean this in the kindest sense. I've no doubt you're stunning, very many women can be at their discretion and I think a lot of the time it's a self esteem or ethical issue about trying, or an inspiration one about doing a few calisthenics and so forth, or otherwise adjusting lifestyle to be positively physically inclusive.
Basically a great part of the secret to looking stunning is a nice bod, pretty much everything else is about taste, fashion, perspective, I mean there's an unbelievably stunning looking girl at work who's had surgery that left obvious physical scarring and such, but oh my god she is hot (and actually half of that is her undefineably sexy personality too). I know she thinks of herself as visually compromised by her surgery results but she has no idea how wrong she is. Actually maybe that humility about being so incredibly stunning is part of what makes her so attractive in addition.
As for me I have a very high powered intellect, often humbled by other high powered intellects don't get me wrong, but I am mostly concerned I will intimidate a lady. This is just where you're out with this really amazing woman who you're so very much into, and adore, and elevate, but you might say something that impresses her and she feels unworthy of that thing you said for a second, like hey I wish my maths lecturer was here to respond to that, and thinks to herself how could this guy be interested in my mind.
That terrifies me a bit.
It's the kind of things you think about which is most important rather than your specific mode of articulation. Some of those high powered minds I've been humbled by have had less articulation than me that particular day (and suchlike is a thing of circumstance, again coming across better articulation is not unaccounted) and I've been no less awed.
So even if you're perfect together and you think she's amazing and genius, the thought she could dampen her sense of the formative relationship and her feelings towards you over the way you talk, something you said, is terrifying. There are just so many reasons the rarest most desirable thing, something you've fought for your whole life will never be experienced.
I never want a have a "you'll do" relationship. | |
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| Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 7/30/2009 10:13:31 PM |
As for me I have a very high powered intellect, often humbled by other high powered intellects don't get me wrong, but I am mostly concerned I will intimidate a lady. This is just where you're out with this really amazing woman who you're so very much into, and adore, and elevate, but you might say something that impresses her and she feels unworthy of that thing you said for a second, like hey I wish my maths lecturer was here to respond to that, and thinks to herself how could this guy be interested in my mind.
That terrifies me a bit.
No offense, but you have to be really full of yourself to think like this in the first place. I've never seen a thread with so many self-proclaimed geniuses in my life. I wouldn't worry about intimidating with intelligence, a lack of humility is a much bigger turn-off. | |
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