| Oh it hurts so bad!
Posted: 12/18/2008 2:08:37 PM | | Ehh she's a shitty person. I cant judge her, im not just pulling it out of know where, it is deserved. As far as karma, thats for hippies | |
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| Oh it hurts so bad!
Posted: 12/21/2008 3:53:24 AM | Well a week has passed and I have survived. There were times when I thought that was possibly the worst thing that had ever happened to me and needed desperately to talk to friends, family and post on POF.
I'd like to Thank all of you for taking your time to help me through the most trying time in life. Your kind words, expert advise and constructive criticism were so greatly appreciated and necessary to help me get over this.
As for the rest of the opinions, well you know what they say about them, and I won't lower myself to comment on them further.
To all the wonderful people out there that give their time to some poor fool like me to help me get through mistakes I've made in my life,
I wish you all the best and if there's anything I could do for you I'd gladly return the heartfelt favor.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. | |
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| Oh it hurts so bad!
Posted: 12/21/2008 6:10:36 AM | I feel sorry for the poor carpenter........and your poor husband......
I noted quite carefully that it was always you that was doing all the pursuing.......not them.
1) Carpenter.......he worked for you for a long time, plenty enough time for you to know what he was all about..........yet, it was you that chased him when it appeared he was just living quietly and minding his own business.
I sent him an email telling him I was smitten. We started emailing back and forth and one evening I was out with a girlfriend of mine I decided to ask him if he'd like to go out... Well, we enjoyed each others company immensely and after a year I got a divorce and he moved in with me.
2) Husband..........you left him for carpenter dude.........then your husband was minding his own business when you ran back to him with your tail between your legs when carpenter dude wasn't to your liking anymore......
I left him a dear john letter and went back to my ex. I had security with my ex but there was no love.
3) Carpenter/husband............so what do you do to solve everything?...........you decide you want them both at the same time and decide it's best to be a two-timing, unfaithful and un-reliable bed partner of both.........and now, bash them both for not being as .......ummmmmmm, good and perfect as you are.
I continued seeing both him and my ex.
And now, YOU are the victim here according to you ?.......  | |
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| Oh it hurts so bad!
Posted: 12/21/2008 6:37:35 AM | Wow a WHOLE week and your recovered or on the way to it?
You have no idea of the true meaning of love woman!!!!!
You give the rest of us a bad name | |
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| Oh it hurts so bad!
Posted: 12/21/2008 6:44:35 AM | ^^^^....I agree Addy
And don'tcha just love this Gem?
I told him I'd truly love to but he had to work, he moved back in (without me asking him) and I observed him for a couple weeks.
How exactly does one "move in" without permission from the person who lives there?
The OP is clearly in a mode of not accepting any responsibility for anything.......
Seriously, think about this............moved in all by himself and forgot to ask or tell her?..........hahahaha......and then she "observed him" ? this is way too comical.  | |
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| Oh it hurts so bad!
Posted: 12/21/2008 7:22:49 AM | OP, OP, OP!!!!! You should know that a marriage never works when there is another party involved. I hate to say this, but what your soap-opera/drama situation is the stuff of teenagers. You are in your 50's and should KNOW this! It's pretty obvious you yourself are pretty emotionally immature and very irresponsible.
Let me spell it out for you: While I am sorry you had a hard time in your marriage, it is absolutely NO excuse for stepping out. I understand you were pretty vulnerable, but if your marriage was that bad, then you had 2 choices: the first one was to find a way to work on it via counselor or some other professional means. the second choice you had was to cut your losses, be on your own for a while to heal, then move on to another relationship.
What I can't believe is your husband took you back. - He must be just as crazy as you are. And what I really, really can't understand is how does someone move into your house without your permission??? How MANY people are living in your house? Do you know them? Obviously not.
With you being so emotionally unavailable, I sincerely have to wonder why you are on here. | |
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| Oh it hurts so bad!
Posted: 12/21/2008 9:58:51 AM | OP I pray to GOD I do not run across anyone like you.
My life is screwed up enough as it is LOL.
I do not like to judge people but you are a wrecking ball.
Do both of these men a favor and move to Iran or China that alone would remove them as a threat to the USA.
I generally wish everyone Luck and Love but you deserve neither.
YOU ARE A USER.
Women like you are the reason my father died hateing women.
Find a Shrink. | |
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| Oh it hurts so bad!
Posted: 12/21/2008 10:25:59 AM | It appears that you could use a bit of therapy to find out why you are looking for disaster instead of dealing with the issues at hand. First off, you are married to an alcoholic (I understand that could be hard. Been there, done that) and you probably have a bit of low self-esteem after all the years of being told things such as "you are not worthy" and "you are a loser" BUT attaching yourself to another loser and then getting hurt is not going to rebuild that lost self worth as you can now see you are feeling even more worthless and unloved. You need to cry it all out and then recognize that this guy was just an escape route from things that disturbed you about your current husband then seek Alanon and/or counseling of some sort to deal with your own issues.
I know how much it hurts to look for that new beginning only to find out that it is worse than what you were already involved with yet you are setting yourself up for more failed relationships if you continue to feel hurt about this type of relationship.
I won't even go there with the cheating part as I feel in your case that it was simply a way of trying to find a life line but it really doesn't do you any good. | |
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| Oh it hurts so bad!
Posted: 12/21/2008 10:50:53 AM | Sltydog,
I don't know where to start. As a woman, I feel both embarrassed and flabbergasted.
First, I am sorry that you were in pain. Apparently you took all of about a week to get over your pain, which, in and of its self is telling.
Spifflog posed this question, which I'd like to see the answer to as well:
Do you care about what this has done, and is doing to your ex husband?
Are you still living with him? And if so, does he know you are still looking?
Please answer. From here, you seem like a selfish, self centered person. And I'd like to know what you are thinking, so I can understand how you, and people like you, can operate this way.
If you've spent any time in this forum, you will see it is filled with folks that by and large gave everything they could to a relationship. They followed all the rules as they say. They loved, were honest, gave of themselves, were faithful, put their hearts on the line, and gave more than they expected to receive.
But in the end, many of them came across lovers who were selfish, inconsiderate, cold, calculating, and in the end, and this is the important part, were totally self centered and lacked any empathy or concern for the broken hearts they were leaving behind. Many on this site have agonized why this could be, why people could act this way.
Wether or not you'll admit it to yourself, you are that person that we have all come across! Can you please (asking honestly) give us some insights as to why you feel no empathy or concern at all about all the hurt you have caused? And why it only took you seven days to get over it all? | |
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| Oh it hurts so bad!
Posted: 12/21/2008 1:04:44 PM |
If you've spent any time in this forum, you will see it is filled with folks that by and large gave everything they could to a relationship. They followed all the rules as they say. They loved, were honest, gave of themselves, were faithful, put their hearts on the line, and gave more than they expected to receive...............But in the end, many of them came across lovers who were selfish, inconsiderate, cold, calculating, and in the end, and this is the important part, were totally self centered and lacked any empathy or concern for the broken hearts they were leaving behind. Many on this site have agonized why this could be, why people could act this way.
Tryin, I definitely could NOT have put that better myself. I am with you.
Unfortunately, those of us who "follow the rules" and "give it our all" always, always wind up being hurt. Sad but true. | |
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| Oh it hurts so bad!
Posted: 12/21/2008 1:31:56 PM |
(Msg 18) My carpenter has not faired well. He has no phone or internet, no heat in his trailer, his hot water heater went out and has not been replaced.
I feel sympathy for the carpenter. | |
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| Oh it hurts so bad!
Posted: 12/21/2008 6:11:11 PM | I am glad it hurts. maybe now you will realize what you cheaters do to everyone else.
Now maybe you won't screw with someones feelings, since the shoe is now on the other foot.  | |
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| Oh it hurts so bad!
Posted: 12/22/2008 12:33:01 AM | OP you really brought this on yourself. If you weren't happy when your ex, you should have gotten a divorce. Cheating on him and then cheating on both him and the carpenter wasn't the best move. Although it seems like both the men that were in your life were less than great guys it doesn't excuse what you did.
Karma really is a b**ch. | |
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| Oh it hurts so bad!
Posted: 12/22/2008 1:21:01 AM |
and regaining my financial stability from the other
If you can't think about yourself and protect yourself from abuse or financial ruin what is a person supposed to do?
this one`s for you slty..  .. | |
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| Oh it hurts so bad!
Posted: 12/22/2008 8:36:16 PM | I gotta go with the throng on this one, Sluttydog.
You reap what you sow.
BTW- I'm also interested in the olives. | |
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| Oh it hurts so bad!
Posted: 12/22/2008 8:53:43 PM |
To all the wonderful people out there that give their time to some poor fool like me to help me get through mistakes I've made in my life,
I wish you all the best and if there's anything I could do for you I'd gladly return the heartfelt favor. Okay.. I'm callin in my favor...
DO NOT sweep this under the rug Op.. I want you to go to Alanon.. or a private councillor or at the very least read the book "Co-Dependent No More." You don't need to pretend that you're "over it" cause you're not.. do me that favor and get yourself some support from those that actually know and do not judge | |
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| Oh it hurts so bad!
Posted: 12/22/2008 10:12:54 PM | This thread had me breathless with laughter. Ordinarily I would say the opposite of what everyone else is saying, just to amuse myself and stir up sh1t. But even me, this time...
I gotta say OP, I can see why you disrespected your spineless husband that way. He took you back??? It's almost xmas. You should buy him a nice set of balls. It does seem sad. You got bad taste in men. | |
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VF102
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Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 68 | |
| Oh it hurts so bad!
Posted: 12/24/2008 9:04:32 AM | I just divored a prescription drug addict that went nutz when she got back from Iraq. Amazing as it seems she still holds a TSI. Scary I tell yeah, scary.
Jason | |
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