| If Your BF Joked To You About Raping A Woman, What Would You Do?
Posted: 12/17/2008 1:49:42 PM | Okay, the guy may have issues. Without talking to him more though it's hard to judge what is and isn't normal behaviour. I'm not going to take that guys side but I am going to point out some misconceptions floating around in this thread.
The fact is that many men DO fantasize about rape. If you don't believe me then I can show you proof based on the many many positive comments I have had from a story. The other fact is that many women also fantasize about rape as well. This is not an uncommon or new fetish. Read erotica sometime, a good number of the stories are about different forms of rape (rarely violent as in beating someone up though). I have helped out many men that had girlfriends/wives that were interested in fulfilling rape fantasies by showing them how it could be done safely and in a controlled environment yet still leave all the excitement of not knowing what was going on in it. The idea of a stranger, not knowing what is going to happen next,the adrenaline rush and the excitement of knowing that someone wanted you that badly is a turn on to many people. The concept of not being in control (pinned down, tied up, etc) allows a person to escape from their normal fears and do things or enjoy they normally would not be bold enough or feel guilty to do. | |
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| If Your BF Joked To You About Raping A Woman, What Would You Do?
Posted: 12/17/2008 1:55:56 PM | | This all depends on your sense of humor problem number one! Her boyfriend seriously has issues. Her second issue is shes dating this guy. problem solved. iwould think that would bea huge statement i would never dare say in front of my gf nonetheless my close friends. | |
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| If Your BF Joked To You About Raping A Woman, What Would You Do?
Posted: 12/17/2008 1:56:22 PM | sherilyn....
There is a difference between a secure loving relationship role playing sexual fantasies (no matter how shocking they may seem) and the true act of rape. The true act of rape (taking of a woman just because HE wants to) is what this subject (person) is fantasizing and spouting proudly about.
It is violent....he has no human regard for her or the ramifications!
There is no defending this particular young mans view.
Post below.....OH PLEASE! Talk about reaching now....
Read post 71....again.
Defending this behavior is sick.
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| If Your BF Joked To You About Raping A Woman, What Would You Do?
Posted: 12/17/2008 1:59:40 PM | There is a difference between a secure loving relationship role playing sexual fantasies (no matter how shocking they may seem) and the true act of rape. The true act of rape is what this subject is fantasizing and spouting proudly about.
And what has led you to believe that this isn't what he had in mind? The two acts really are not that different. Without talking to this young man further you have no idea what his intentions vs how Brad sees them were. At what point did anyone actually ask him what type of rape scene he fantasized about. We are getting a very one sided story that can only be told based on his own very clearly personal reactions to it. We aren't being told the entire conversation or the context in which everything happened. | |
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| If Your BF Joked To You About Raping A Woman, What Would You Do?
Posted: 12/17/2008 3:48:29 PM | The BF talking about another woman in such a manner is unacceptable. Even if he used the work fuc* instead of rape it still would have shown great disrespect for the GF and her friend.
I am postive he didn't mean rape her literally. He probably meant it as he wants to pound her and tear her apart...I've heard guys use rape towards a girl they had so much sexual aggression towards.
I am not defending the guy, and what he did was wrong. I am just trying to explain what was going through his head when he said that. | |
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| If Your BF Joked To You About Raping A Woman, What Would You Do?
Posted: 12/18/2008 3:01:46 AM |
Except that rape is never about the sex, its about control and fear. Who cares what type of rape scene he fantasized about, he obviously doesn't respect his gf very much if he thinks that way when she's not around.
No, it is not always about fear. It is about the sex sometimes. Yet another misconception. Rape fantasies (not the actual violent act) are about sex and the exchange of power. I once again recommend that people go do some reading on literotica.com and get a better understanding of what this fantasy is actually about. | |
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| If Your BF Joked To You About Raping A Woman, What Would You Do?
Posted: 12/18/2008 3:31:05 AM | LOW LOW LOW/how low can you crawl. To belittle his girlfriend for one thing by saying that,an also you.Even if he said it only in jest,this shows a very poor attitude to other people/mainly women. Problem is ,when you sit in the 'been raped' que,unless it has happened to yourself,no one can even begin to grasp just what the effects of this actually happening,really does to you.Maybe he needs to spend time inside with the big boys,to grasp what his rotten comment really means.Goodbye,see you later,he is gone for good.Where is his respect for other people/non existant. | |
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| If Your BF Joked To You About Raping A Woman, What Would You Do?
Posted: 12/18/2008 4:44:28 AM | | This is not just some thoughtless comment made,this guy has footage,from movie scenes,he dwells on the topic,kinda like a form of obsession,or one hell of an interest..This is scary stuff,he is really into the topic. Ok some posters have admitted to being victims an have managed to move on.What about the ones who cant? You score gang style with physical injury,kind of harder to rap you head around,an get over.You spend months in hospital trying to get over the physical injuries never mind the head torment ones,cause you got left for dead.No sorry,not in my books do i remotely find this funny.(This description i am not pinning to anyone,it just happned).I have a good sense of humour an even like a bit of wicked carrying on in jest,to lighten things up,but most people have sense enough to know the tasteful limits/before it borders into the no go zone.This is one of those. | |
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| If Your BF Joked To You About Raping A Woman, What Would You Do?
Posted: 12/18/2008 4:58:08 AM | sherilyn, I think your comments show a ridiculous and shameful disregard for the act of rape. Maybe you should focus less on your own fetish frenzy and enjoyment of fetishes and being the "other side". I think that people who have SUFFERED rape (men and women) would be disgusted by your pretending it's ok in some situations.
PS if it's a fantasy they are fulfilling, then it's NOT rape. Rape is unconsentual sex--fantasy means that person wants the act to happen. Totally different, dear.
Nutt | |
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| If Your BF Joked To You About Raping A Woman, What Would You Do?
Posted: 12/18/2008 5:06:20 AM | I think that people who have SUFFERED rape (men and women) would be disgusted by your pretending it's ok in some situations.
Funny... I am not disgusted by what I said. I did suffer through rape and was pregnant as a result of it.
PS if it's a fantasy they are fulfilling, then it's NOT rape. Rape is unconsentual sex--fantasy means that person wants the act to happen. Totally different, dear.
That's been my point. No where has this guy ever actually said he wouldn't do it non-consentually. That is a conclusion many of you close minded people (including the OP) are failing to acknowledge. | |
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| If Your BF Joked To You About Raping A Woman, What Would You Do?
Posted: 12/18/2008 5:32:58 AM | I think one of the main problems these days is that the word rape gets tossed around too freely. If you are into gaming culture you will hear terms "I totally raped that guy!" or "You suck so bad, ur gunna get raped." Or kids at school saying things like, "You're just pissy because your dad rapes you at every night."
The word itself is being used far to casually, and it's starting to lose it's power. Personally I believe a word like rape should never be used in a joking or insulting manner because it's a very serious subject, and a horrifying thing for a human being to have to deal with.
It sounds like this BF is just another victim of society taking a serious subject and making light of it. I personally don't know if I would dump him right away until I explained to him that rape is something that shouldn't be joked about, as it takes away power from the people who have actually been raped. If at that point he just didn't get it I w0uld toss his butt. | |
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| If Your BF Joked To You About Raping A Woman, What Would You Do?
Posted: 12/18/2008 6:47:43 AM | No sherilyn, the point is that if it's consentual it's NOT rape. The problem isn't us, it's you think it's ok to refer to something consentual as the same as something forced. They are not the same thing at all, and comparing one to the other is unethical and disprespectful. Sounds to me as though you have a lot of issues to work through if you've experienced rape and still think it's ok to compare being forced to not being forced and ok to joke about it.
Nutt | |
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| If Your BF Joked To You About Raping A Woman, What Would You Do?
Posted: 12/18/2008 7:39:59 AM | As usual, I will answer, straight up. Delicacy with the easily offended was never my strong suit.
When I read the initial post-- and the reactions to it-- my personal response ran something like this.
Grow up, people. This guy is just trying to say the most offensive things he can come up with, for shock value.
Probably because at his age, the women he has been seeing not only tolerate that sort of poor taste, they celebrate it, because it makes him a "bad boy", who likes to break the rules, and that is a twisted sort of turn-on.
Then I read the update about the compilation of rape scenes from movies, and the supposed desire of all women to be raped, and the so-called innocent guys who have gone to prison "on the lies of women", culminating in the golden line where he asks the OP whether he has thought about raping his sister.
This guy is beyond simply being offensive for the shock value.
I am the first to say live and let live, even beyond the bounds of what most people call acceptable-- but there is a line, and this guy is so far beyond it he would need binoculars to figure out where it was.
Braddl1, if what you are saying is true, this guy is at the very least a potential serial rapist. Not only should you keep your sister away from him, you should update your local cops about this whole scenario and encourage them to have a "talk" with him for the purposes of intimidation. As for the friend of yours, you should tell her exactly what you are doing-- and that you are afraid for her safety also, because if this guy is a predator, guess who is on the menu first. | |
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| If Your BF Joked To You About Raping A Woman, What Would You Do?
Posted: 12/18/2008 8:01:57 AM |
The problem isn't us, it's you think it's ok to refer to something consentual as the same as something forced.
You continue to miss my point so I don't think there's much point in saying this again. No where has he ever stated that he would actually commit a crime. He only said it was a fantasy. He never stated (according to brad) that he would actually take a woman by force that did not want that. You're making a lot of assumptions. | |
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| If Your BF Joked To You About Raping A Woman, What Would You Do?
Posted: 12/18/2008 8:23:33 AM | Not to be judgemental but the guy has no cooth! (civility)
If something doesn't immediatly stop you from finishing that sentence you have a mouth that is gone wild and needs to be reeled in. Unfortunately everyone does not come to the table with the same resources and sometimes it takes people longer to get it. | |
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| If Your BF Joked To You About Raping A Woman, What Would You Do?
Posted: 12/18/2008 8:23:36 AM | As long as he keeps his fantasy where it belongs, in his mind, then it's ok if not creepy. The problem with sexual predators is fantasy it the staging ground most of the time, they get themselves so worked up over the fantasy they feel compelled to act it out.
If it was me that was having fantasies about violently raping people, I would have myself at the shrink the very same day. You can't just say it's ok because it's just a fantasy, as that is how most serial rapists start out their journey. People have to take on some accountability for even their fantasies. It doesn't hurt to have yourself checked out to make sure you are not the changing lanes from fantasy to reality.
Most "normal" people don't get off on the thought of hurting and raping another human being. Whether it's about power, sex, or fear it doesn't matter. If those thoughts even have the slightest chance of becoming a reality then the person needs to step up and get some therapy just in case. | |
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| If Your BF Joked To You About Raping A Woman, What Would You Do?
Posted: 12/18/2008 8:31:47 AM |
If it was me that was having fantasies about violently raping people, I would have myself at the shrink the very same day. You can't just say it's ok because it's just a fantasy, as that is how most serial rapists start out their journey. People have to take on some accountability for even their fantasies. It doesn't hurt to have yourself checked out to make sure you are not the changing lanes from fantasy to reality.
But without talking to him and getting into his head we don't know what aspect of it he is actually turned on by. If it's the beating them up part, then yes we have a problem. Only he knows if that is what is going on. We're making a lot of wild assumptions based on something only one person observed. I'm not under the impression he bothered to have a real conversation with him about it or even attempted to understand what was going on in his head. | |
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| If Your BF Joked To You About Raping A Woman, What Would You Do?
Posted: 12/18/2008 8:42:44 AM |
No to a decent human being rape can never be funny. Neither can child molestation, genocide or murder ever be funny. To those with the blackest of souls then I guess anything can be funny as they don't see others as people with feelings who have any worth.
Ignorant statement at best. The act of rape is definately horrible. And probably the most appreciative and loving woman I've ever known (My aunt) has a dark sense of humor. I'd like to also point out that you apply that train of thought to yourself. You can laugh at something and acknowledge the bad things about them. Humor isn't evil.
Gangster kitten - OMG. Just OMG. Now we have moved from jokes about rape being funny, to an actual rape being funny. What a desensitised world we have become. You do realise that victims or rape are real people???? They are someone's mother, sister, grandmother, daughter etc. Just try for a moment to imagine someone you love has been raped. Then try not punching the next guy that cracks up laughing over the thought of raping the random stranger that walks past him.
To the bolded part of your post. You don't want to go there with me. You really don't. If you knew my history and my childhood, you'd be eating those words.
That being said, I *do* have a sense of humor. Of course, none of you have actually listened to Carlin's spiel about rape I'd wager. The whole point of citing him was the fact that his tidbit on rape, I found, to be quite hilarious - and a lot of people do. It wasn't meant as some "Carlin's word is above the normal person". I love Carlin because he's funny.
For the record, I didn't say 'actual' rape is funny. My point is that you can joke about anything in proper context. And the funny part is, I think the OP was wrong to make the joke that he did - because it was in very poor context.
"Just picture Porky Pig raping Elmur Fudd." | |
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| If Your BF Joked To You About Raping A Woman, What Would You Do?
Posted: 12/18/2008 8:44:47 AM | But without talking to him and getting into his head we don't know what aspect of it he is actually turned on by.
From the last post about it, it seems that he thinks all women crave to be dominated sexually. Seems to be he is turned on by the power that rape would give him over women. The simple fact his is is "joking" about raping women, has a collection of rape scenes on a DVD for his everyday viewing pleasure, and he seems to think women want to be raped. Even if it's all just a fantasy I really don't think it would hurt him to see a shrink and find out what brought on these fantasies, and to find out if it could lead to more.
The fact that he telling people that he thinks it's no big deal to rape women and it should have more people concerned. Any mental health care worker presented with these facts would see a disturbed person that might need help before he finally acts out one of his fantasies. Sexual predators are the most likely to escalate their habits. So while his first "real-life" fantasy might be doing some chick that had too much to drink, it could easily lead to breaking into a woman's house and brutal raping her.
I think what has people so concerned with your attitude is that you don't see the possible danger here, because you have rape fantasies. You think because yours are harmless then his could be too, but when it comes to something like this its better side with caution. | |
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| If Your BF Joked To You About Raping A Woman, What Would You Do?
Posted: 12/18/2008 9:57:12 AM |
That being said, OP, you're joke is terrible.
I'm confused. Where in this post did I say it was me that joked about raped. I'm still reading and maybe I will see what you see eventually. 
But on a serious note, I don't joke about stuff like rape and beating women. I respect my sisters too much to be that idiotic.
Here's a little story. When I was 16 a 15 yr old guy spit in my little sister's face. I went bezerk and beat him bloody until my sister told me to stop. If not for her, I might have killed that kid.
She did the same and save this guy from getting his ass kicked. I don't tolerate that sh*t when it comes to ppl I care about. | |
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