| | If Your BF Joked To You About Raping A Woman, What Would You Do?Page 8 of 11 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11) | suprize seks
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| If Your BF Joked To You About Raping A Woman, What Would You Do?
Posted: 7/24/2009 7:34:44 AM | As distastful as his joke may have been, just remember that the majority of society still has no issues making light of and telling jokes about male rape. Guys getting raped in jail is a considered a decent punch-line by the majority of male and female comedians and the crowds always laugh.
Male rape allegations are often taken lightly and their victims usually ridiculed but you don't see a lot of people in an uproar for that one either. | |
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| If Your BF Joked To You About Raping A Woman, What Would You Do?
Posted: 7/24/2009 4:56:36 PM | .. RUN..... big red flag, rape, whether it is male or female, is NOT funny. Its anger & hate & control & degradation....
think I would have asked him what he meant by that remark... once I picked my jaw up from the floor... which is perhaps why they didnt say anything.. they were too STUNNED.
dont think the OP overreacted at all.
I like the comment about where the body was buried also...... | |
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| If Your BF Joked To You About Raping A Woman, What Would You Do?
Posted: 7/24/2009 4:59:44 PM | message 84:
rape fantasies & actual rape are two different things.. IMO; rape is not a power exchange, its based on fear & anger
and I cant believe anyone would have fantasies about it.. but from what I read on the forums, it seems to be common. | |
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| If Your BF Joked To You About Raping A Woman, What Would You Do?
Posted: 7/24/2009 5:24:35 PM | | I resent how men joke about rape. When I was younger and working in a male dominated field, a co-worker joked about raping a woman the previous friday night. I felt so insulted that I reported him to the boss. My co-worker later apologized for saying that in front of me. Rape is not a joke. It's not like have casual sex. It's violent. How would men feel if women joked about castrating one of you??? I can feel you all grabbing your crotch as a reflex. Well???? Knock it off. | |
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| If Your BF Joked To You About Raping A Woman, What Would You Do?
Posted: 7/24/2009 5:54:09 PM |
It's violent. How would men feel if women joked about castrating one of you???
Also a very common punch line. Hell, male genital abuse is everywhere: it's in advertising, music, movies, children movies, tv (with some shows even entirely devoted to the act), etc. Again, no one else really seems to care but it does always seem to get a laugh from a lot of women though but violence, regardless of the recipients gender, is still violence. | |
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| If Your BF Joked To You About Raping A Woman, What Would You Do?
Posted: 7/24/2009 6:06:36 PM | Common punch line or not, fantasy or actual crime, it is still downright filthy and disgusting.
I, myself, have never stood by to watch any stupid ass comedian joke about something so heinous whether the victim of the rape is a man or woman. And if my bf ever joked about something like this or about raping someone, he'd be in the doghouse. | |
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| If Your BF Joked To You About Raping A Woman, What Would You Do?
Posted: 7/24/2009 6:37:22 PM | It is gross that the media likes to slander guys unmentionables. Of course, many of the producers of that are guys. Even with that in regards, you will never hear a woman say to her girlfriends at MickeyD's "Girlfriend, I liked to sodmomize that man tonight! Yeah baby!" It just will not happen. More likely, she might say "He can have me anytime!" which shows that A)she wants him B)he has a choice in the matter
I would hope no man has ever thought "Gee, I am going to rape that woman, and get her digits, too." That's pretty sick, and a big difference from the above. I have never heard any of my male friends or ex bf say anything like that, and I count myself lucky to be in such quality male company. There are just somethings you do not do.
P.S. I do not tolerate making fun or laughing at a guy when it comes to his pain. Pain is a uniquely personal experience. | |
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Wiyan
| | Joined: 12/8/2008
Msg: 185 | |
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| If Your BF Joked To You About Raping A Woman, What Would You Do?
Posted: 7/24/2009 7:19:12 PM |
Anyway, my response to him would have been :
"You know, I've been waiting for you to do something stupid enough for me to dump your sorry A$$ and baby cakes, today is the day. Might want to chase her out the door because you sure as sh*t aren't getting anymore milk from this cow." Moooooove out.
To funny but very good advice!  | |
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| If Your BF Joked To You About Raping A Woman, What Would You Do?
Posted: 7/24/2009 9:08:47 PM | I think it was probably a throw away remark, purely a joke and you're too precious and easily offended.
Sick humour is sick humour, the point about jokes is that they are not remotely serious. I know I've laughed at all sorts of sick humour in my time. Booze and drugs consumed in social settings also tend to bring out sick humour in people, without it necessarily meaning there is anything sinister in such jokes beyond high spirited banter.
Whilst you can't rule out there being something darker in this guy's psyche beyond a throw away remark, the chances are that that isn't the case. Although I guess you would have had to have been there, context is everything when such remarks are made. | |
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| If Your BF Joked To You About Raping A Woman, What Would You Do?
Posted: 7/24/2009 9:28:07 PM | he was dumb saying that he wants to do anything with another woman in front of her and her male friend!
can't hate on the male friend not saying anything i have seen situations where a guy friend points out the boyfriends fault and he is seen as a dog trying to break them up no matter how true it is!
but yeah the dude needs to be ditched immediately but that is extreme hatred versus a hateful man and you know you can't have that in this world because demons are princes' and saints are really jerks in disguise. | |
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| If Your BF Joked To You About Raping A Woman, What Would You Do?
Posted: 7/25/2009 7:52:13 AM | This is a huge red flag. This person clearly has a script running in his head that says " Jokes are free. If I make a joke of it, anything is permissible. Iow, this person is capable of nearly anything. After all, to think a thing is to explore the possibility of doing such a thing.
That being said it is possible this person simply likes to freak people out the way too many comedians do.
If you like vicious humor, some people get it, this may be your cup of tea.
I have seen persons of this bent on my travels in life and feel they are in fact quite vicious and mean. While most people see them as wildly funny, those who are in the trajectory of such comments are quite often devastated and brought low by it.
I know a man who runs this racket to cover up his in-competence in his day to day work. That in-competence is exacerbated by his refusal to wear corrective eye-wear. He also wears a cap even when he eats. Does this man have low-self esteem?
Despite that I feel he has been using jokes to "get away with it" ALL of his life, it being whatever the scrape he was in. Make no mistake, he was always in a scrape, he still is. He too is a creature of habit and his habits follow him as surely as your s and mine do.
So what we have here at core is the script of a life that is running. He can no more stop being that way than I can stop being introspective.
On habits: Good habits and bad habits are equally powerful as they are both hard to break. | |
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| If Your BF Joked To You About Raping A Woman, What Would You Do?
Posted: 7/25/2009 9:41:10 AM | Hmmm, I think there's probably a lot of hypocrisy on this thread.
I didn't incidentally say I'm in the habit of getting boozed up and drugged up and making rape jokes by the way, but I don't tend to get offended by lighthearted humour of any genre, including darker humour, as long as there is no serious intent behind the jokes, and it's purely for laughs. Sometimes you have to have a sense of the ridiculous, and a not seeking to be offended approach to "banter".
Now people are saying rape isn't "funny", and of course it isn't. But then things like murder and drive by shootings are equally tragic, but you'd be hard pressed to find a comedian who hasn't made a lighthearted joke about such material, and I bet most of you would laugh at such stuff, comedians like Chris Rock, and thousands of others do such material. There are mainstream films like CB4, and others, which have a lighthearted take on the very real life tragedies of murder and mayhem of gangbanging murder and mayhem. Never heard a comedian make a lighthearted joke about serial killers ?
And there are many stand up comedians who do material on even more controversial subjects than rape, and I'm talking mainstream comedians here, not marginalised controversial ones. Judging by this thread, there are many on here who would pass out in outrage if they went to such comedy shows. God knows how many of you would react to the "banter" of a bunch of blue collar workers having a beer or twenty at a bar of an evening. But each to their own, I'm not dissing anyone for their own sensibilities, we all have different sensibilites when it comes to what we do and do not find offensive.
Personally I don't have a problem with dark humour as long as it's done in the right setting, and with an audience who you know aren't going to be upset or offended. There is nothing really wrong with dark humour, indeed in many ways it is a great thing, there is no feeling in life like laughter, and dark humour is often used to get us through very dark moments. | |
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| If Your BF Joked To You About Raping A Woman, What Would You Do?
Posted: 7/25/2009 9:48:46 AM | | I'm sure your friend is probably wondering what she's doing with a boyfriend like this, only she's probably too scared of being without a boyfriend to do anything about it, so she puts up with it. Not only was it a completely disgusting remark (the type of remark an real man would never make), it was also completely disrespectful to you and his girlfriend. | |
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| If Your BF Joked To You About Raping A Woman, What Would You Do?
Posted: 7/25/2009 9:59:36 AM | Odin, the issue is not so much whether his humour is dark, but that his girlfriend was shocked. It seems to me if she knew he had that kind of, uh ... *wit* (very generous term here), she wouldn't have been so surprised and upset, but either they haven't been together all that long, or he's just careless about how he comes across, and probably thinks, as you suggested, she's too sensitive.
If he really just wanted to get that reaction, there are other currents she might find less enchanting about him as well. I wonder ...what kind of guy isn't at least apologetic for embarrassing his girlfriend? Even if she is easily offended, he still ought to realize that and not intentionally rattle her just for his own amusement.
... or maybe his remark was simply OFFENSIVE. | |
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| If Your BF Joked To You About Raping A Woman, What Would You Do?
Posted: 7/25/2009 10:10:51 AM | Hmmmmm......I'm assuming he thought it was humorous and the woman was "f*wkable"? However, that is a comment that is NOT made in the presence of your S.O./gfs. Maybe if the "boys" were hanging out and they saw a HOT woman, but not under these circumstances.
He's an idiot!!! This is a scenario where he didn't think before having diarrhea of the mouth! His thoughts just ran with it................ | |
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| If Your BF Joked To You About Raping A Woman, What Would You Do?
Posted: 7/25/2009 10:14:19 AM | I did make a point about an appropriate audience who wouldn't be offended by dark humour etc.
This is a difficult one, you can argue it either way, as I say with dark humour context is everything, and you really would have to have been there to judge. And even then of course we all have different sensibilities when it comes to dark humour.
Re your point about shock, well as we know, the more shocking humour is, the harder we laugh. Okay alternatively it could go the other way and we could just get very offended instead, but anyway I understand the reason that shocking humour can make us laugh harder is that laughter in humans evolved as an expression of surprise (or something like that), so the more shocking the joke is, the harder we might laugh. An unexpected punch line to a joke works on the same principle, an unpredicatble and unexpected punchline can trigger a very hard laugh in the audience, it's the whole surprise thing again.
Anyway, this is of course why many comedians go for the shock element, to surprise us into laughing. I suspect (obviously I wasn't there) that that is what this guy was going for, the "shock laugh", it sounds like a deliberate attempt to shock his "audience" into laughing, albeit it doesn't seem to have worked out on this occasion for him, because he just seems to have induced an offended reaction rather a laughing one. | |
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| If Your BF Joked To You About Raping A Woman, What Would You Do?
Posted: 7/25/2009 10:20:11 AM | And yes such attempts at goading a "shock laugh" are generally more likely to occur in the context of a few alcoholic drinks being consumed, I'm sure most of us have probably made an inappropriate remark or two in our time after a few drinks that just ended up causing offence rather than triggering the laughter and the "Oh you're such a funny guy/gal" attention we were seeking.
And of course we're usually very embarrassed about it the next day. | |
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