| Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/15/2008 3:13:17 PM | Female on top is one of my favorite positions, but, there is a but!
If the angle is such that there is primarily pounding on the pelvic bone, with little friction on the penis, I will also get soft. The angles have to be right, and if they are, yeee hawww!
The other thing that happens occasionally are leg cramps, and you should ask your partners if that is the case. Nothing will lose an erection faster then that. | |
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| Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/15/2008 3:13:59 PM | | For me, the rocking motion needs to be long enough to give a little in and out friction. If you can make the penis move from pointing toward his chest to pointing straight out, it's a good thing. It can hurt a little if he's raking across the cervix though. | |
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| Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/15/2008 3:30:07 PM | Hmmm. I've experienced this with two partners. Normally, I love a partner on top, especially when she is able to take her pleasure directly from the penetration (the same way I can when I'm on top) and I can just watch and enjoy and be happy as we share and connect.
Partner L: Very responsive sexually, but also a larger woman (which clearly you are not:-) and shaped inside differently than anyone else I'd experienced, such that in that position, the good parts just didn't line up. No worries, we more than made up for it in other ways...
Partner P: Beautiful woman (which clearly you are:-) but absolutely sexually passive. When she was on top there was only the mechanical mashing of sensitive parts together, so that even though everything "lined up", it didn't feel good at all. She'd also stated that she would never orgasm from just penetration (which I proved wrong several times later, but that's a different story:-)
From the female perspective, compare this:
Being mounted and mechanically pounded with no thought, compassion, comprehension.
To this:
Having a lover above you, looking into his eyes as he looks into yours. Your most sensitive parts are touching, but just barely, such that every movement, every twitch, every breath leaves you wanting more. The excitement of the anticipation is causing blood to flow to those sensitive parts, causing them to swell, moisture to form. And as your fluids combine with your partner's, it just adds another level of pleasure until you find yourself trying to pull him inside. And he can tell from your eyes, your cheeks, your lips when you're ready.
When he is guided by your responses, always learning and adapting to how you're feeling at the moment, almost seeming like he's reading your mind as he speeds up, slows down, fills you shallow, then fills you deep inside as you clutch and squeeze him.
I guess for me I derive most of my pleasure from how good I can make my partner feel. So when she's in the driver's seat (so to speak:) I like to hear what she's thinking, feeling so we can share the moment more closely. I especially enjoy it if she feels free and safe enough to share exactly what she's feeling, every little detail... | |
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| Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/15/2008 3:32:32 PM |
If the angle is such that there is primarily pounding on the pelvic bone, with little friction on the penis, I will also get soft. The angles have to be right, and if they are, yeee hawww!
How can there be pounding without pistoning hips, stroking, friction? Sorry, just a conceptual difficulty.
Actually, OP, last lover preferred to grind her pelvis into mine-lotsa clit stimulating goin on, and a one millimeter of movement, at any kind of frequency, "frictions" me ferally, and not even baseball can slow the inevitable. Guess I like having her doing me. Conceptually speaking. Lol | |
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| Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/15/2008 3:58:36 PM | Thank you everyone... some really, really good stuff here.
I can't wait to try out these ideas... and report back! :)
Unfort I am sick today w/stomach virus and right now would rather sleep than have sex. Shocking, I know. LOL
But hopefully later this week...hee hee
Reverse cowgirl a few of you mentioned...It's funny but I just can't get into enjoying that dang position!!!!!!!!!!! I've tried it now 3 times (3 dif partners) over the last year, and hated it w/all of them. I think it's funny b/c I *know* some girls just go wild for it.
And the really ironic part is I tried that Friday night, as well. Dk had gotten out a porn video w/stuff on the clips he knew I liked (I think I mentioned this on another thread) and one of them included sex w/the girl facing outward on top of him. Essentially reverse cowgirl except both of them were sitting up. I commented I thought that position was made for porn to show of her body. He said, well, some girls like it. So...I figured why the hell not. Yeah, um, didn't do a thing for me. Oh well....he didn't go wild or anything so I'm guessing didn't do much for him. LOL
Anyway, I appreciate the openness and thoughtfulness... nothing like sharing the details of what you feel when you have sex in different positions, huh? LOL Nothing to private for us forumers....
Kaylie | |
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| Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/15/2008 4:27:51 PM |
He said, well, some girls like it. So...I figured why the hell not. Yeah, um, didn't do a thing for me. Oh well....he didn't go wild or anything so I'm guessing didn't do much for him. LOL
The Hmmmmmm comes to mind,, it's sound like your guy just really isn't in to sex,, if he is,, he sure is lacking the interest, or enthusiasm.. all I know is this guy,, my lady riding me or doing anything is a complete turn, I'd have all I can do to hold my self back ,, even if she says,, you just lay there for a while,, I just want to jump right in,, hell figure out a way to do it on the ceiling if I could,,, | |
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| Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/15/2008 5:37:19 PM | Oh, um....2 different guys. Was trying to avoid saying that part. LOL
The fri night guy LOVES me on top and I get off in less than a minute that way with him...we've been "nonexclusively" together for almost 4 months. Yeah, our sex life is well tuned to a T at this point...and actually Fri night was really really awesome for some, well, TMI reasons. Mixing things up and adding in new fun stuff keeps it fresh, ya know? LOL The reverse cowgirl might not have worked out, but let's say some of the usual stuff with the other different stuff had a very good result. :)
The Sun night guy is new, first new partner I've had, actually, in about 3 months. He was the one who went soft when I was on top, but I've had that problem before (long time ago) with other partners. Honestly I think part of the problem was just nervousness on his part, us being new to each other, learning each other's rhythm... BUT since this has happened in the past, I figured let's get advice from the POF clan and nip that lil prob in the bud. Because the "nervousness" only affected that one position. The rest of the time he was gangbusters. LOL
Yeah...I'm a little horny bird, what can I say...2 guys in one weekend. Seriously...like NOT the norm for me. And NO not looking for anyone else so please don't email me. Was just one of those things where the planets aligned at the right moment in time.
Kaylie  | |
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| Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/15/2008 5:50:36 PM | | i got nothing....i absolutely love that position...it's my favorite, i love having a girl ride me and make her self orgasm on me...I can cum very easily in that position. Granted i've only had one partner so perhaps she is really good at it but god i love it. I also orgasm much harder in that position. | |
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| Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/15/2008 5:59:41 PM | Here's your answer....I can't believe nobody got it yet! The guys who are going limp are not breathing properly during sex. When they reach orgasm after a little action, they start breathing fast and the "tool" is last on the list to keep blood flowing to. Pay attention to them during sex if they breath on a regular basis or just focus on the act of the sex......If all else fails, have him drink a few shots of Mr. Daniels for that grand ole whiskey D--- effect.  | |
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| Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/15/2008 6:42:30 PM | | its a control issue..I'll lay (hehehe he said lay) you odds the guys who went limp, have some sort of issue with controlling sex, or other parts of their life. | |
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| Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/15/2008 8:21:33 PM | I have not run into this and a lot of guys I've been with seem to prefer it. For one thing, they can relax and it leaves their hands free to put them all over you.
I'd talk about it with the individual guys in question. | |
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| Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/16/2008 5:03:48 AM | also as one poster noted the squat position where the girl has her feet on the bed or whatever and raises and lowers her self onto him is great ..and has great visual effects for him as well ...and the reverse cowgirl for the same reasons
any way Kalie girl thank you for an education with your thread ...I never knew there were so many differences in things that did or did not do it for guys ... I guess Im just one of the lucky ones ... any position does it for me ..although I do have favorites but those to change from time to time ...I have never experienced an erection problem of any kind ( if im with a necked woman ..IM hard ...unless i have just cum and then that is only temporary ....
but one of the most intense orgasms I have ever had is by trying something with a woman (her Idea) ...her on top laying over on my chest squeezing me hard and neither of us were allowed to thrust ...the only movement allowed was the flexing of pubic mussels ... it took a long time for both of us to cum but when we did it was like we just melted together ... i guess part of it was the discipline factor ... at times we both wanted to trust but we would remind each other to be still
...I have also played the game of no touch the bits ... rules are you can touch lick bite nibble your partner anywhere but the genitals... this to is almost painful...but if your mind is in the right place you can cum without your genitals even being touched ...my point is In looking for your answer I would expect something mental rather than a blood flow problem ...but thats just my opinion ..I do know with me sex is 99% in the brain
another fun experiment is watch porn and dont allow your self to touch your bits ... strain to use your imagination put yourself mentally in the movie... i promise genital stimulation is not necessary to cum ...or for me it is not
...Im almost 53 and i can still almost cum from looking at the right woman ..even some with clothes on
or I can sit in a room full of necked women and talk to them about anything and never have a sexual thought ....after many years and many experiences I guess I have learned where the switches in my brain are ...and how to turn them on and off at will | |
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| Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/16/2008 5:47:43 AM |
or I can sit in a room full of necked women and talk to them about anything and never have a sexual thought ....after many years and many experiences I guess I have learned where the switches in my brain are ...and how to turn them on and off at will I tried that once when I was 17, only I was on a nude beach, I had to lay face down in the sand all day,  | |
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| Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/16/2008 6:12:10 AM |
I tried that once when I was 17, only I was on a nude beach, I had to lay face down in the sand all day,
it gets easier as you get older and find the switches ...I probably would have had problems on the nude beach when I was 17 ..but now nude beaches don't bother me unless one of the nude women flirt with me then the switches turn on auto | |
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| Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/16/2008 6:36:08 AM | I could lay there all day ...girl on top doing her thing, me on the bottom doing mine (  ). j/k
I do enjoy it though, not because it feels particularly good, but because I like the view. Breast swinging and bouncing, hanging down in my face is enough to keep me rock hard.
Try stimulating him visually. Play with your tits or masterbate. I always love it when the girl leans forward, both hands on my chest and just grinds it out while her titties dangle and brush against my face.  | |
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| Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/16/2008 7:18:24 AM |
The first time I was on top I was told I had trouble "movin to the groove", it's possible that's what could be wrong. If ya can't move to the groove, it's a lost cause.
In my opinion a woman on top is about her groove, her rhythm, her in control,, a woman has a way of telling me how she whats me to move to her groove, However, I have a way of adding my groove so that we are insync..In my opinion, the position of a woman on top, should be all about her, what ever she wants, it is her time to take control, If after riding awhile, I feel the urge to cum, I'll let her know if in a few seconds before I'm about to cum, so she can readjust so that doesn't happen, or she can keep going is she knows we are about to orgasm together,, all her choice...in the end if her riding experience is a great one, she will want to ride again,, of course that should go without saying... | |
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| Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/16/2008 7:29:05 AM |
The first time I was on top I was told I had trouble "movin to the groove"
Then you were copulating with an ass. As the next post rightly points out, when you're on top, you're driving, and it's just wrong for the "passenger" to criticize your moves. He coulda learned something.
Still vote for the spin on the skin lol
FFO! Gives new purpose to the hanging (bottomless) basket. It ain't just for plants anymore. | |
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| Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/16/2008 10:53:36 AM | A few ideas come to mind...
It could be you're not moving at the same pace the guy is used too....
Another odd one, I used to get 'tired' quickly in this position... until I realised, my G/F was pressing hard on my chest... I was having difficulty breathing and I was unaware of it... She moved her hands to my shoulders and end of problems....
But obviously, getting 'tired' makes one go limp too.... | |
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| Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/17/2008 10:01:01 AM | I would go out on a limb and say that it's probably something more psychological than anything else...maybe they got "hurt" in that position or don't like NOT being in control...
I personally love the position myself and have never had a partner lose his erection in that position, but I think open communication with your partner is always key to finding out and understanding what works and what doesn't for both of you... | |
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| Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/17/2008 10:12:11 AM |
I personally love the position myself and have never had a partner lose his erection in that position
Dayym, you even have the right hat for it! Spent fifteen years in Oklahoma and the hat still turns my head. Lol. | |
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| Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/17/2008 11:13:31 AM | kayliecat:
Hey, I had this same problem with one of my exes...it was just something about her, i wanted to be on top and even though it felt good when I was on bottom, I would still not be able to stay hard, but then one time she was way more vocal than normal....did the trick...made me realize that I just felt kind of useless on the bottom there, if that happens to you again, try making him grab and pull you more, or be louder, something to kind of "boost the morale" a bit. totally worked for me. | |
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