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 Luvcharm
Joined: 3/31/2009
Msg: 251
Racism in DatingPage 11 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)

I'm Korean and was adopted when I was little by white parents. I was raised in WV. While I have dated white guys primarily, I am open to all kinds of guys, but don't feel attracted to Asians.


Aren't you being racist by saying your not attracted to Asians when in fact your are Asian?
 LCangelofmusic
Joined: 12/17/2008
Msg: 252
Racism in Dating
Posted: 4/8/2009 10:32:26 AM
No, I believe that you can't help what you are attracted to. Like above posters, I like what I like. I wouldn't turn guys away with racial slurs, whatever race they might be.
 AmandaLy09
Joined: 4/4/2009
Msg: 253
Racism in Dating
Posted: 4/8/2009 12:34:59 PM
perhaps the person who replied to you with racist slurs was a little brat whose mother didn't know that they're on the computer.
 Truucha
Joined: 12/16/2005
Msg: 254
Racism in Dating
Posted: 4/9/2009 10:52:22 AM
Honestly I rarely contact women outside my race on dating sites (actually I rarely conact anyone), unless they specify they are attracted to B.M, or other indicators such as bi-racial children or whatever.
Now.....having said that! There really isn't very many black women on this site compared to other races, so you almost have no choice.
Dating sites are a womens market due to the fact that men always outnumber women, sometimes as much a 10 to 1
 Dan11295
Joined: 10/11/2008
Msg: 255
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History
Racism in Dating
Posted: 4/9/2009 6:51:42 PM
Personally I have no preference. I have no problem trying to contact someone outside my racial makeup. Of course many refer to stay within their race so the odds of getting somewhere are less then they already are.
 hottie415
Joined: 3/29/2009
Msg: 256
Racism in Dating
Posted: 4/9/2009 7:06:52 PM
Wow........ Im sorry you have been the recipient of such ignorance and well, its a sad state of affairs indeed. While Im sure this type of thing goes on all the time (unfortuatley), I do feel people resort to racial bashing online due to the fact they dont have to meet the person face to face and can hide behind a computer screen. Obviously these people who have spewed such venom CLEARLY have issues, are bitter,attention seeking, immature, angry yellow cowards!

Karma will pay these guys a visit someday and it wont be pretty. You can not go around disprespecting people and thinking that you will get away with it. This is exactly the type of behavior that breeds universal hatred. As long as you are strong within yourself not to let it bother you, then these idiots wont succeed in their hate agenda.

Next time I go to church Im gonna pray for these fools.


 Fleur_de_Lis
Joined: 3/7/2008
Msg: 257
Racism in Dating
Posted: 4/21/2009 12:28:25 PM
What a coincidence! I act too "white" too!


What gets me is that I am white but some people don't realize that Europeans are white and because I'm of Spanish and Italian descent they say I'm not white. That's only their opinion because it's not factual

 colakitty
Joined: 12/1/2008
Msg: 258
Racism in Dating
Posted: 4/22/2009 7:57:47 PM
Sorry to hear you ran into some rude people here. This happens to just about everyone though, not necessarily about race. I know that I've sent a few messages out and instead of getting a simple "not interested" I got long rants on my weight. I'm sure you can imagine. I try not to discriminate either, but everyone has different features they are attracted to. You can't change what you find attractive, you CAN change how you react to people you aren't interested in. A simple "not interested" is all that's needed, no long rants on WHY you aren't interested...
 Connor-19
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 259
Racism in Dating
Posted: 4/22/2009 8:00:57 PM
Suggestion: Next time a girl tells you to "find a date at the gorilla cages at the zoo" tell her you're not allowed to anymore.

The last one that got out ended up becoming the President.

(This is not me meant to be demeaning to african americans, this is just to rub it in her face) XD
 thwipp89
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 260
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Racism in Dating
Posted: 4/22/2009 10:33:56 PM
OP- those types of comments are pretty crappy and uncalled for. sorry you had to experience that. we've come a long way in this country but still have a ways to go. racism and discrimination is still alive and well, unfortunately. when i saw the republican national convention and some of the republican rallies, i honestly felt i was witnessing KKK or nazi rallies with all the hate, fear and control. it was pretty disgusting...no matter where you go there are going to be cool people (who may not always agree with you), as well as straight up hate-filled, ignorant a-holes. don't let the **stards bring you down.
 uultramann
Joined: 2/5/2009
Msg: 261
Racism in Dating
Posted: 4/23/2009 7:49:54 AM

What gets me is that I am white but some people don't realize that Europeans are white and because I'm of Spanish and Italian descent they say I'm not white. That's only their opinion because it's not factual


So that begs the question... How does one define what race one is?

Does the term "white" encompass all of Europe and its descendants? I'm reminded of SAT testing back in High School, and the part where it asked one to fill in race. There'd be the usual categories - white, black - but there there would be those other crazy categories like "White, not of Hispanic Descent" or "Asian/Pacific Islander"...

So if I am to understand how my SAT test defined race, people from Tokyo are the same race as people from... Hawaii? And White people had to be White but not of Hispanic descent? What's that leave? England? France? Are you confused yet?

It's stupid. It's why I date a woman for who she is first, and her skin color maybe ranks 9th or 10th on a list of 10. Race matters far less than, say, smoker/non-smoker. It matters less than hygiene. It matters less than a sense of humor.

Ooh... that gives me an idea to change the tone of this thread...

Name 3 things of a potential mate that matter more than race!
 thwipp89
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 262
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Racism in Dating
Posted: 4/23/2009 1:45:21 PM
"Name 3 things of a potential mate that matter more than race!"

smoker
drug user
has kids
staunch conservative
overly religious
wants kids
distance
weight
appearance

how's that? =)
as far as race, i'm pretty open. i have an affinity for latin women, tho. however, on the flip side, asian women generally don't appeal to me, physically-speaking, but there certainly are exceptions to the rule. the last girl i went out with was half puerto rican, half black. i find that people of mixed race tend to be some of the prettiest people around.
 kthyg
Joined: 11/24/2006
Msg: 263
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Racism in Dating
Posted: 4/23/2009 3:24:01 PM
3 things for me would be:

Strong religious views
Insistence on a monogamous relationship (since I don't want monogamy)
Ignorant views (ie racism, sexism, hate spewing)
 Nannao
Joined: 4/18/2009
Msg: 264
Racism in Dating
Posted: 4/24/2009 2:00:13 AM
I am so sorry that you had to have those experiences I come from a multi-racial family and I would have it no other way. I have seen how rough it is to have to deal with not only the normal everyday problems of paying bills, getting layed off, and sick kids at home but to also have to deal with hatred from people for nothing more than the way you look or because you are related to someone who looks different is shameful no matter if the hate is because of your race or your size or even your hair color and though there have been improvements in our society I don't believe there have been enough of them to be proud of. I was ecstatic when Obama was elected president but I fear that it might not be for the reasons that we hope. I truly do hope that the day will come when all the pointless hatred that so many of us hold will be gone but for now that time is in the future perhaps we will live to see it die.
 Brownlady1953
Joined: 12/12/2008
Msg: 265
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Racism in Dating
Posted: 7/26/2009 8:02:23 PM
I emphasize....I have had some very nasty and racist emails directed my way....and not by people I contacted, either.......
 roseyn
Joined: 5/25/2009
Msg: 266
Racism in Dating
Posted: 7/26/2009 9:11:37 PM

What gets me is that I am white but some people don't realize that Europeans are white and because I'm of Spanish and Italian descent they say I'm not white. That's only their opinion because it's not factual


I guess it depends on the European cause I have many European friends who get COMPELTELY OFFENDED when they're referred to as being "white"
And they say " I'm not WHITE i'm EUROPEAN"
I never understood it
 roseyn
Joined: 5/25/2009
Msg: 267
Racism in Dating
Posted: 7/26/2009 9:15:24 PM
Anyway 90 % of the men who have contacted me are WHITE
A lot of them would start the approach with a question "are you into white guys"
and honestly I think maybe thats a good approach to get the obvious race difference out the way.
The person will either say "yes", "no", or it "depends on the person tell me more about yourself" or something along those lines.
 chadcuba
Joined: 6/4/2009
Msg: 268
Racism in Dating
Posted: 7/26/2009 9:29:26 PM
". If one was to take away the minority vote, how many caucasions actually voted for him? "


And how many blacks voted for mccain ???? If you're going to try and find racism out of how many whites voted for obama then you just show your ignorance and if one really wanted to get the statistics out, the percentage of blacks who voted for mccain is a complete and utter joke compared to the number of whites who voted for obama so shut the hell up you ignorant fool.
 kthyg
Joined: 11/24/2006
Msg: 269
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Racism in Dating
Posted: 7/27/2009 4:30:32 PM

A lot of them would start the approach with a question "are you into white guys"
and honestly I think maybe thats a good approach to get the obvious race difference out the way.


I get the same thing when approached by black men. It does get it out of the way. Of course, my answer is that it very much depends on the man. I am much more attracted to the looks of black men but I have never dated someone because they are black. You have to have a lot more going for you than that.
 penelopelove69
Joined: 7/21/2009
Msg: 270
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Racism in Dating
Posted: 7/27/2009 5:44:20 PM
I've actually been pursuing white men, semi-successfully, on this site and I have had all decent responses. Those that are not interested in me just don't reply. Those that do, we chat...
PS - You white guys are FREAKS!!
 rubberchicken39
Joined: 12/25/2008
Msg: 271
Racism in Dating
Posted: 7/27/2009 5:44:49 PM
Well I feel it is Ok not to want to date outside your race. I feel people should be nice about it too. But i feel some women get real mad and rude is because men do not read and respect their profiles. I mean if your profile states you do not date black men then every black man on POF emails you then that is when I get pissed off and rude. Not because I am racist but because i feel the black man is disrespecting me for it states in my profile I am not attracted to black men yet they still feel they can get busy with me anyway. I am guilty of being rude back not because i am racist but because I feel disprespected
 The Forlorn Knight
Joined: 7/14/2009
Msg: 272
Racism in Dating
Posted: 7/27/2009 5:57:24 PM
If I meet a girl, and we have things in common, similar interests and chemistry. I don't care what her skin tone is, She could be purple, plaid, or fire truck red.
 JulieC29
Joined: 6/16/2008
Msg: 273
Racism in Dating
Posted: 7/27/2009 7:04:34 PM
Very hurtful and stupid things to hear from people. There are some very hateful people in this world and you just have to walk away knowing you're a better person.

I wouldn't tie the elections of 2008 to anything regarding race. I cannot stand racism, sexism, etc. and I voted McCain. And I would do it all over again.
 The Forlorn Knight
Joined: 7/14/2009
Msg: 274
Racism in Dating
Posted: 7/27/2009 7:08:38 PM

I wouldn't tie the elections of 2008 to anything regarding race. I cannot stand racism, sexism, etc. and I voted McCain. And I would do it all over again.


Likewise, I am definitely not a fan of Barrack Obama. And it has nothing to do with the man's skin tone or heritage. but his politics (or lack thereof?) and empty promises.
 LuvsLaughs
Joined: 4/14/2009
Msg: 275
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Racism in Dating
Posted: 7/27/2009 10:57:18 PM
I think that you should know.... I don't really worry about race. We are all part of the human race. It's the culture barriers that cause problems in society... in my case, my mom and uncle would absolutely hit the ceiling if I were to date a black man, no matter how well educated, how nice, how mannerly... etc. that he was. They were raised during the end of the depression, so everything was divided. White people had their places and black people had theirs. Restaurants, drinking fountains, bathrooms, etc. My mom and uncle are incapable of wrapping their heads around such a thing as me dating outside of our culture. Be it black, asian, mexican, indian, pakistani... (I'm 46, and they are in their 80's) What I am saying..(oddly) is that perhaps when the elderly are no longer whispering such things in our ears, things will truly change... for the better. I am a very laid back person... I have taught my son to be open to people from varying cultures.... I was upset one day when he said that he hated black people. (he was nine at the time) I stopped and stared at him. What? Why? He started crying and told me the only kids that picked on him were black kids. I sat down and pointed out all of the black kids that didn't pick on him and had to point out that two white kids did pick on him. He listed 8 black kids that picked on him, so from his perspective, that was how it was. It did make me think; however, that some of the ongoing racism/ culturalism may very well stem from such occurrences.... just a thought.
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