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 alexbibdel
Joined: 7/24/2009
Msg: 276
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Racism in DatingPage 12 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
It sucks that racism still exists. At least when they're so obvious about it you catch them early.
 yoyophoto
Joined: 7/19/2009
Msg: 277
Racism in Dating
Posted: 7/27/2009 11:26:25 PM
People who say those things are obviously narrow minded and uneducated. Not to mention they must live a sad life to say hurtful things like that. Keep your head up and just know they don't speak for everyone.
 RockChickie
Joined: 7/21/2009
Msg: 278
Racism in Dating
Posted: 7/28/2009 2:03:21 AM
thats is discusting. i cant believe that in 2009 people are still that sad to say things like that. its discraceful. ignore these silly people. and move on, thier loss at the end of the day not yours my friend.
 coachandteach
Joined: 2/10/2009
Msg: 279
Racism in Dating
Posted: 7/28/2009 11:06:26 PM
I am actually pleased that POF doesn't ask for racial preferences. I think its a nod to a better future where there isn't racism. I also like the omission of racial preference because it may have the potential to force people to acknowledge their "preferences" publicly and examine themselves a bit more.

For example I hope the men and women who feel compelled to put in their profiles "I only date race X" think about why they have such a narrow view of what is, and is not attractive. I love women of all flavors.
 winteragain
Joined: 3/26/2009
Msg: 280
Racism in Dating
Posted: 7/28/2009 11:15:56 PM
dis is a tuff reality we muss face cuz ain't no odda place like u.s. but errytime da opposition be steppin up dats when u take da criticism as feedback cuz u need it to make u strongurr i no we all been called n-gg-r i no i been called cra--a, chank, sp-c even by da members o da demographic dat purport to axe fo peace in dis tumultuous era we b livin in so whut im sayin iz im asian, we got it worse than anybody wat wit asians makin up liek 99% of prisons im sayin b thankful fo what u got for i am knowin indeed u is my friend and i support u to the fullest extent in which i am able to.
 vortec94
Joined: 7/22/2009
Msg: 281
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Racism in Dating
Posted: 7/29/2009 12:24:19 AM
Liking or disliking someone based on race just doesn't make much sense. Yes, cultural differences can exist, but usually it's nothing that can't be worked out or even appreciated.

However, I don't think there's really anything wrong with finding one race more or less attractive than another. It's a matter of aesthetic preferences just like preferring certain heights, body shapes, etc. My friend thinks Mexican chicks are the hottest in the world. OK. It doesn't mean he's being racist against asians, whites, blacks, etc.
 DeepLuv09
Joined: 7/24/2009
Msg: 282
Racism in Dating
Posted: 7/29/2009 12:40:03 AM
OP

That sounds like a horror story, geez. I normally make it a point to ask beforehand if the person I am msging is open to interracial dating, you can never assume. For example there was a time I never dated whites and never took it kindly when a non-black person showed interest in me. Later on I became more open-minded and discovered that human beings are essentially the same. Have you ever been prejudiced towards another person (not necessarily race) but it could be about their belief system, nationality, height, weight etc? Race is not the only problem of the human race. Even among black people we have some really vile human beings that make you wonder what hell-hole they crawled from so don't take it too personally.
 Pashune
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 283
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Racism in Dating
Posted: 7/29/2009 1:25:46 AM
I honestly think my family would hunt me down with pitch forks if they found out I once dated a mixed person.

It's great living in racism central. /sarcasm

I'll date any color, any race, etc., as long as the chemistry is there.
 Shaitan
Joined: 7/8/2009
Msg: 284
Racism in Dating
Posted: 7/29/2009 1:51:23 AM
Wow, sorry to hear that. I am deffinately a smart ass but I wouldnt say anything like that. Thats just mean, there is no excuse for it. I'll kick em in the shin for ya? Haha.

^T^
 robertfiallos484
Joined: 8/3/2009
Msg: 285
Racism in Dating
Posted: 8/9/2009 3:14:40 PM
Love is color blind.I would settledown with any woman that is cute, that has things in common with me,treats me right,loves and cares for me.
 autogal
Joined: 4/5/2009
Msg: 286
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Racism in Dating
Posted: 8/9/2009 3:24:26 PM
I had someone email that they wanted to date within their race, I thought , sorry I thought you were human rather than a jackass
 palin2
Joined: 8/1/2009
Msg: 287
Racism in Dating
Posted: 8/9/2009 3:50:47 PM
I agree I had a guy go off on me becouse I would rather date a black man than a white and he being the way he is is one reason that I don't date white men any more I've had some to say that's not far then say I'm sorry please forgive me I do but as long as its what that person prefers be happy for them don't be a butt and say ugley things and for all of the one saying some of the stuff they have said watch out if you have kids becouse one day they could bring home a black man or women then what are you going to do disown your child I think not becouse my parents where the same way there not happy with it but they have gotten better so just think twice before you say my kid will not do this or that becouse in the end it will come back to haunt you
 NightsSky
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 288
Racism in Dating
Posted: 8/9/2009 5:59:59 PM
lol.

I see it both ways.

It's a very ugly and unfair world.
 cw35
Joined: 4/8/2005
Msg: 289
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Racism in Dating
Posted: 8/10/2009 4:37:05 PM
kh124: The fact that you would get comments like that scares the he** out of me. I realize that racism exists but I can't wrap my head around a woman in this day and age sending out those kind of comments. That's total hate speech and could be illegal as far as I know. I prefer to date outside my race and I think I would lose it if I heard those kind of comments directed towards the person I was with. You have a great profile and seem like a really genuine, nice looking guy so as hard as it must be to swallow those kind of comments, try your best to ignore idiots like that because I can guarantee you that the majority of people don't carry around this kind of hate with them.
 Selima
Joined: 3/28/2009
Msg: 290
Racism in Dating
Posted: 9/12/2009 7:30:37 PM

I emphasize....I have had some very nasty and racist emails directed my way....and not by people I contacted, either.......



I know some people are not comfortable with dating outside their race and as Americans, we are all entitled to our opinions, likes and dislikes. My problem is the way its communicated. I have gotten replies back form women that range form very respectful, to downright KKK propaganda. For what reason? If you arent interested in someone, why not just say that politely and move on. However to get "go back to africa", "find a date at the gorilla cages at the zoo", and "what self respecting woman would date a N@#$#@", are uncalled for.


It is amazing that nowadays this still goes on. I too, as many others, want to say how sorry I am you have to endure this. They are, of course, ignorant, stupid, small minded people. It is hard to fathom that someone thinks it okay not only to reply to an email in this fashion but to send such things in emails to someone who has never contacted you.
 LBA26
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 291
Racism in Dating
Posted: 9/12/2009 7:38:11 PM
yea... you wouldn't date someone who is a pig, bish because they are not homosapien like you... that's really unfair hmmm
 Vasto Lorde
Joined: 7/20/2009
Msg: 292
Racism in Dating
Posted: 9/12/2009 7:53:04 PM
response to coachandteach @7/29 2:06:26

I think POF should add a feature allowing members define their racial or ethnic preferences. Such a feature would help everyone I think. I think we would be deluding ourselves if we think that folks on POF don't consider race and ethnicity before they either respond to a message they've received or starting communication. With a feature such as the one I've stated above, people don't have to waste time composing emails to people who are not interested in members of the message sender's race. It also helps the object of said communication. You won't have to read emails from people from a racial background you've no interest in. Look, the year could be 2045 and there would still be racism and bigotry around. It's part of the human experience and I strongly believe it will never go away. In the mean time, why can't we just simplify things on POF by adding this feature. That way, folks don't have to get in other people's lane.
 LBA26
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 293
Racism in Dating
Posted: 9/12/2009 7:56:26 PM

Such a feature would help everyone I think.

it's called reading the freakn description.
some will say it some will not but hey that's how it is.
 Vasto Lorde
Joined: 7/20/2009
Msg: 294
Racism in Dating
Posted: 9/12/2009 8:13:23 PM
^^

I'm yet to see a single profile in all my searches that has such detailed information. I know it is what it is but that doesn't make it an efficient process. Does it?
 LBA26
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 295
Racism in Dating
Posted: 9/12/2009 8:20:28 PM
dude dating is fun not efficient, the efficient thing is to have your parent tell you who you should marry at young age, have yous learn to live with each other from childhood and just do it. Now that is efficient
 Selima
Joined: 3/28/2009
Msg: 296
Racism in Dating
Posted: 9/12/2009 8:24:05 PM

dude dating is fun not efficient.
LBA--I can't imagine it is much fun to get mail from people calling you racist names. Vastro, I think your idea of some kind of screening device to let people know if being approached by someone of another race is aggreeable is a good idea. I'm on another site and they do have such screening.
 Vasto Lorde
Joined: 7/20/2009
Msg: 297
Racism in Dating
Posted: 9/12/2009 8:32:41 PM
@LBA,

I think dating is meant to be fun and should be fun but sometimes it's a pain in the neck. The reason why I think this feature would be great for POF is that it takes away all the hassles of getting emails from people who don't fit the recipient's accepted race/ethnic narrative. I think it would also return some of the fun factor into the communication process because the sender of an email has a higher degree of comfort knowing that they are sending emails to only people who are comfortable with people from the sender's race/ethnic background. I think you'll find this feature on a number of well known dating sites. I think introducing such a feature just helps POF users peel back an additional layer of complexity and ambiguity from an already complex and sometime ambiguous process. Cheers mate!
 LBA26
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 298
Racism in Dating
Posted: 9/12/2009 8:37:08 PM
ok suppose that might help but i don't think it should be listing preferences rather list the non-preferred or ones that just wouldn't work. cause u don't want to take all the fun out of it by simply looking and see who like what not. besides race is mostly small factor once searches are based on ethnical back ground on elimination of preference people will be missing out a lot and since it's a short cut everyone will use it.
 Vasto Lorde
Joined: 7/20/2009
Msg: 299
Racism in Dating
Posted: 9/12/2009 8:43:57 PM
@LBA,

I don't know how long you've been active on internet dating sites or the internet in general but on the net, race is a huge deal. For a number of people, race and ethnicity play an extremely critical role in process of selecting potential mates. The anonymity that the internet affords users can make the discussion around the role of race and ethnicity even more vitriolic. My point is that any feature would allow POF users define their list of allowed race/ethnicity so to speak. That way if I was to run a search, a female user who has not allowed by race/ethnicity would not show up on my search result. It makes the process easier for both people. Right?
 LBA26
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 300
Racism in Dating
Posted: 9/12/2009 8:47:50 PM
the block thingy? yea i saw that thing, it's not so useful anyway, i blocked all the people with high family orientation and non showed up , even without eliminating racial, weight etc etc i had only found two people compatible to the very least.

what would be more useful for me is to block all the people looking for guys in the US... gosh living beside detroit it's like u have 1/4 potential people showing up that need you to live over the river
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