| Racism in Dating
Posted: 1/1/2009 6:36:41 PM | kq123;
Seriously - you are surprised? And I do not mean that antagonistically - but the KKK, AB and other such ilk exists to this day for a reason. Talk to them, and you will get 1001+ reasons, none of which will include stupidity. (Ignorance is lacking in knowledge and is cured by education - it is stupidity that is dangerous)
Sure - I read tons of news articles that a "black man was elected President" (To which I am thinking - I really don't care about his race, or who he does the nasty with in the Lincoln Bedroom - I just want someone to run the country properly...but anyway...)
But does not even that strike you as a bit - well - racist ? It isn't "The best man for the job got elected" or "The least annoying one got elected" The very fact we have to identify that a "black man" (or anything other than a caucasian) was elected speaks that we are still classifying people's abilities based upon skin color.
Now, don't get me wrong - I am happy to see that Obama was elected, and his race didn't prevent it, and certainly hope he is given a fair shot to actually run the U.S.A. without that being an issue. But not hard to imagine some idiot-stick out there thinking "Gee...we should assassinate him because I can't stand a black man being in charge"
I personally do not believe the human race will ever overcome racist tendencies, any more than we will overcome greed, or lust for power as a species. Hope someone someday tells me I was completely wrong on that statement.......but I don't think that will be today, and tomorrow doesn't look so good either. | |
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| Racism in Dating
Posted: 1/1/2009 7:34:44 PM | Eleanor Roosevelt said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
The bigotry of ignorant people is nothing more than a manifestation of their small minds and stunted worldviews. It has absolutely nothing to do with who or what you are, and everything to do with who and what they are. If you let their words hurt you, you legitimize them. They deserve no legitimacy, only pity and contempt.
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| Racism in Dating
Posted: 1/3/2009 12:33:09 PM | | To me its another reason why preferences should be listed so you know who to approach and not too approach.If your profile says your looking for A,B,C and D your gonna get interest from like minded people race aside. Racism in America is never gonna leave and i dont think pointing out that we have an african american president is gonna suddenly make the skies clear and the birds sing. For all the people who are interested in fairness in life and love there is someone that will never get a clue. You just hope that when it's time to cash in there chips and meet there maker that they have there affairs in order. | |
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| Racism in Dating
Posted: 1/3/2009 12:40:55 PM | I grew up in Hawai'i. If I dated a white girl, I'd get all kinds of hate from friends and family asking "Why you date dat haole girl for?"
When I moved to So Cal, nobody cared who I dated. Well, I've been told a lot that I'm their first Asian by a lot of women. BTW, for some reason I've only dated one Asian girl in my life. I don't know why.
Now, I live in Phoenix. This is weird. I'm in a place without many Asians to start with. And I'm also dealing with living in an area where Asian guys aren't seen in a good light when it comes to women desiring relationships or relations with. I did used to date a black chick. Man did I get sh*t from black dudes right in front of her when we went out. They would openly ask her why she's with a "Chinese" (I'm Japanese & Korean BTW) dude in front of me. They would usually add a racial comment or two when asking. Then they would get mad at me for replying, "she wanted a guy who could read." The audacity. lmao. Idiots. | |
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| Racism in Dating
Posted: 1/3/2009 12:44:18 PM | kg124 I am so sorry that you have went through that!  those people are ignorant and are probably missing out. My heart goes to you. I know what it feels like there are some people that have written me and have called me Fat Pig and that there is nothing pretty about a fat woman. | |
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| Racism in Dating
Posted: 1/3/2009 1:42:40 PM | | That's the one thing people on POF seem to omit...it's their ethnic preferences in dating...it is such a big deal to many people...as much as we like to "pretend" that it isn't, ...we have a right to choose who we date, or not date, but if you don't specify those you absolutely prefer NOT to contact you, then how would one know?... be man or woman enough to say so...and anyone that thinks racism is "dead" in America, is so , so sadly mistaken...yes we have come along way...but a long way is still ahead... | |
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| Racism in Dating
Posted: 1/3/2009 5:09:15 PM |
I have gotten replies back form women that range form very respectful, to downright KKK propaganda. For what reason? If you arent interested in someone, why not just say that politely and move on. However to get "go back to africa", "find a date at the gorilla cages at the zoo", and "what self respecting woman would date a N@#$#@", are uncalled for.
Unfortunately, some folks have absolutely no home training. They never learned that if you don't have something nice to say, you shouldn't say anything at all. | |
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| Racism in Dating
Posted: 1/3/2009 6:18:26 PM | Amen EJ...their response is indicative of how they treat ALL people. Shame, shame. I won't be a hyprocite and say I love 'all' people..I don't. I don't expect 'all' peolple to love me. But decency to others? That's another story...
Alls | |
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| Racism in Dating
Posted: 1/3/2009 7:23:52 PM | It always kills me when I hear someone say they are dating outside their race. ?! Aren't we all Human Race ? I'm sorry you got those comments. Too bad we aren't all educated. | |
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| Racism in Dating
Posted: 1/3/2009 11:25:38 PM |
and they are too stupid to know they are stupid.
this is one of the most accurate truisms ive ever read in any threads.
 neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..... | |
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| Racism in Dating
Posted: 1/4/2009 12:16:09 AM | | Sadly, the internet is probably the most racist venue I know of. | |
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kg124
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Joined: 1/16/2008
Msg: 62 | |
| Racism in Dating
Posted: 1/4/2009 1:24:39 AM | I would just like to thank all of you who have posted such positive comments here in this thread. As I said, if my venting can spark a dialogue whether small, it was worth airing the dirty laundry so to speak.
There is one portion of my original post I would like to clarify. I was in no way saying just because of the election, racism should be better. I was just making a statement about the times. If I offended anyone by those comments, my sincere apologies.
I hope everyone have a safe and festive bringing in of the new year, and may the coming year bring you all joy, peace, happiness and a greater understanding of those issues we all have problems with. Be it race or how long to cook the turkey :-) | |
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| Racism in Dating
Posted: 1/4/2009 3:27:14 AM | I HATE racist people. Boils my blood.
OP, Seriously we all deserve the right to know who they are. They should be publicized so that rest of the people who read this thread can know who they are. Its wrong what happened to you. And those people should be embarassed. Lets just start a pole and see how many people agree with me. Maybe they're probably still laughing at your post. But if you show their names here then public will see those faces and they'll learn their lesson.
what do you guys think ? | |
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| Racism in Dating
Posted: 1/4/2009 7:45:57 AM | | Caramelontop, sorry that can't be done the big fish will put anyone out of the pond for that. | |
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| Racism in Dating
Posted: 1/4/2009 7:58:07 AM | | ^^^ forwarding the racist e-mails to the administrator is a far more effective method of dealing with it. | |
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| Racism in Dating
Posted: 1/4/2009 4:31:28 PM |
^^^ forwarding the racist e-mails to the administrator is a far more effective method of dealing with it.
ej is right. If you receive anymore vile emails, let the admin know. It's a shame that there are still people who are so ignorant as to behave this way. It is despicable, but consider the source. They are beneath contempt. And the best revenge is living well. While you continue to live your life embracing all people, they will continue to repulse others with their bigotry and racism. Who comes out ahead? There is no comparison. You're the winner and still champion!! | |
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| Racism in Dating
Posted: 1/4/2009 6:44:02 PM | Sorry to hear about those experiences KG. I suppose I'm just echoing the disgust that others already have voiced that people can act in such a way to others.
The one thing the internet affords to some people is the belief that they can respond to people in a really hateful manner and remain fairly anonymous. It's both terrible and cowardly. | |
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| Racism in Dating
Posted: 1/4/2009 7:12:40 PM | | Never experienced racism per se, but I have experienced prejudice in the form of religious discrimination (Muslim by birth). It's actually happened three times here, and this is after meeting the person! Especially within my own race which is even moreso odd. Essentially, the girl (who would be Hindu, Sikh or Christian Indian, first gen Canadian like yours truly) and I get along but families forbid it. Since I can understand that somewhat, probing deeper with these ladies has provided me with a littany of reasons as to why you should never date a Muslim, and I was floored - shocked to my core that these prejudices still exist and hey, 9/11 didn't exactly help. In the aforementioned case, the girl and I got on well so when she told me she could not see me anymore because I was Muslim (realistically I'm agnostic at best and a very liberal moderate Muslim at worst) I was very confused. The old me would have fought against this cultural malaise and would have proven that love can conquer all prejudices. The current me is so busy as not to be bothered. If the family can't accept it due to serious misgivings about my heritage, I'm not gonna play Holden Caulfield in a khaffiya and try to capture these pursuits. I don't think its fair to position myself between love and family over something so trivial as religion (especially if both parties are not religious). So ya OP, I kinda see where ur coming from and advise you to ignore those who hate. As for everyone else, always remember that any religion has fanatics and those who commit unspeakable acts. All cultures have nuances that us in the West would find backwards and barbaric. But not all of us are cut from that cloth and especially within the Islamic community, there are a large number of moderate, tolerant liberals. | |
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| Racism in Dating
Posted: 1/4/2009 7:16:58 PM | kg,
The type of responses you received indicate the ignorance of some people. I have many friends/associates who are black and I've asked them their opinion on inter-racial dating and if they have a preference for who their kids date. A little background....my daughter had a crush on a young black kid and she told me about it. Personally, I'm okay with that and she invited him over to spend an afternoon, which he did and was very polite and respectful. Things didn't work out for whatever reason and my daughter doesn't want to talk about it. But this was what prompted me to ask my friends their opinions. By the way, their preference was that their children dated other black children, but again, like me, they were open to the idea. All I care about is that when the time is right, my daughter meets someone that will be good to her and make her happy, regardless of color.
Of course, our conversation opened up all kinds of other issues. Like children of inter-racial relationships and such. All of us agreed that those children seem to have a harder time knowing where they fit in. What is your feeling on that? Again, keep in mind the friends I was speaking with this about were black and we are all mothers too. | |
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| Racism in Dating
Posted: 1/4/2009 7:44:34 PM | OP, let me add my expression of sadness that you had to experience that on here. Unfortunately as McLoven and HBK99 both said, though in different ways, the Internet is one of the WORST venues for this sort of thing to take place because of the ability to be 'anonymous' behind a computer. It's a sad commentary on our society that holds the old maxim to be true: "As much as things change, they stay the same." Beware the timid bigot.
This last semester I had to take a Minority & Race class for my degree. For the area that I live in, I suppose it was fairly diverse, however the majority was white students and the instructor was white. As LakeCountyGal stated in her post, it was interesting to see some of the reactions that some of the non-minority students had in response to some of the things discussed over the semester. I'm adopted myself, so you might say that I've grown up 'white' as opposed to a traditional asian background. A few years ago I was talking with my parents about some things and I made the comment that if you're white, you'll never know what it's like to not be in America. It doesn't affect my self-confidence, but being in the Midwest, one is aware of these things. (For any who are curious, the class got along really well, especially since it was such a sensitive topic.) I have a co-worker who is, shall we say, not always shy about his own prejudices and that can be a little taxing when it's the two of us working together. Never anything directed at me, but it can be uncomfortable at times, to say the least.
That got a little longer than I intended, but wanted to express my empathy to you. There are good people out there, it's just damned hard to find them sometimes. | |
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| Racism in Dating
Posted: 1/4/2009 9:18:47 PM | | Racism is a fact , we all face it one way or other. | |
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| Racism in Dating
Posted: 1/4/2009 9:43:07 PM | | My doughter was invited to a friends party and she was the only one that was not black and some of the girls were saying to each other what is this white b---- doing here ? hmmm my doughter is Mexican so yeah there is racism everywhere. | |
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| Racism in Dating
Posted: 1/4/2009 10:46:13 PM | I personally would never date certain races. To me, it's because I'm not attracted to them physically and also family issues.
I've dated a different religion before and that was more than enough trouble for me trying to get my family to like them, only to find out years later he cheated on me.
I just don't have the energy anymore to go through all that hassle.
And I'm not physically attracted to those races. I have lots of friends that are those, but I wouldn't be intimate with them.
On the racist side, I notice racism alot more in USA but I also live in "redneck" province and I have a mix black friend who is absolutely gorgeous. She's a stripper and has been told to "get her black ass off the stage" and that she's a "disgusting N@*#*#". I personally think she's absolutely beautiful.
It takes all kinds, I suppose. | |
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| Racism in Dating
Posted: 1/4/2009 11:00:13 PM |
That's the one thing people on POF seem to omit...it's their ethnic preferences in dating...it is such a big deal to many people...as much as we like to "pretend" that it isn't, ...we have a right to choose who we date, or not date, but if you don't specify those you absolutely prefer NOT to contact you, then how would one know?... be man or woman enough to say so...and anyone that thinks racism is "dead" in America, is so , so sadly mistaken...yes we have come along way...but a long way is still ahead...
Agreed. POF should add ethnicity/race preferences like other sites. That way, you do not have to deal with anyone who is a closed-minded bigot when all you want is to try to open a line of communication.
I'm so sorry this has happened to the OP. What a bunch of crappy people. | |
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| Racism in Dating
Posted: 1/5/2009 1:31:48 AM | | That's horrible. Very classless and disrespectful. I only date my race. There is no reason for me to tell someone of another race exactly why and get into details about their skin color not being my ideal, that's just cold. So when I'm approached I just tell them "Sorry, not interested." Just learn from this experience and know that as long as humans exists racism will always exists too. Take off the rose-colored glasses. Don't let racist remarks like this get to you, it's nothing but their ignorant attitudes, nothing more, nothing less. Who cares. They're garbage. Don't take it personally. | |
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