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| Racism in Dating Posted: 3/21/2009 6:39:35 AM | I have a question to all those who would only date "within" their own race - why?
Is it purely physical attraction? I guess this one is somewhat understandable. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
But what if it is deeper than that? I wonder how many who only date their own race feel that it is a cultural issue. I wonder how many think that because a person is a certain skin tone, that person only likes a certain type of movie, a certain type of music, a certain type of woman...
An earlier poster was right - who wants to deal with such ignorance anyway? But then I thought to myself, "What if they don't even know they are being ignorant?"
Earlier today, I saw a profile here on PoF where the poster said she wasn't "into black guys." Into? What? Are we a fad or a fashion trend? I guess it goes back to the cultural issue, as the lady's profile suggested that while she was looking for "nice guys", Black guys didn't fit the bill, even if they were nice.
So does your skin color define your culture, or is your culture yours, no matter your skin color? | |
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| Racism in Dating Posted: 3/21/2009 7:20:58 AM | Hi kg124. I have been 'rolling on the floor with laughter' after reading your comments because these same people visit Christian churches regularly and get down on their hands and knees and worship a Jewish Rabbi they call 'god' who was of a very dark skin and spoke in (horror of horrors!)Aramaic which of course is vastly different to (holy of holies) English!
What breeds ignorance is lack of education and that ignorance comes from secluded and isolated value systems which feeds on itself to create the 'monsters' in society.
Usually a contact with a university education or somebody who has lived overseas like theContinent who is exposed to different cultures would expose them so they hide within their little enclaves and procreate spewing their hate with the mentality of 'retarded ants'.
Believe me when I say they are everywhere,they hide in little 'burrows' and rarely 'blink'on exposure to the light of day or except when a spotlight is shone on them in case they are exposed or discovered.And they hate you all more if you possess an education and can argue logically and totally destroy their hypocrisy.
I laugh with great intensity when I find 'em' and savour the moment;I think you should follow my example because nobody can 'put you down' except you yourself!!!!!!!!!
I have been on this site for a while and the pleasure and laughter on reading their profiles with insight into their minds are 'hilarious'. I suggest you do the same! | |
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| Racism in Dating Posted: 3/21/2009 7:33:18 AM | Hi v.ellis.wade
There was a Caucasian woman in Australia who apologised for her choice in men and saying she only wanted contact with a 'black man' which I felt was equally racist.......and offensive.
What do you think? | |
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| Racism in Dating Posted: 3/21/2009 7:44:55 AM |
There was a Caucasian woman in Australia who apologised for her choice in men and saying she only wanted contact with a 'black man' which I felt was equally racist.......and offensive.
I'd have to agree. I'd also say that she probably has some sort of self-hate thing going on. Without knowing her whole story, my best guess is that she wants to take part in the 'cultural/fad' thing, as if dating a black man is going to be drastically different than dating someone of another race.
Which goes to another point - why do people think that other races behave a certain way or have a certain 'culture'?
The answer: TV/Media
For the most part, people of certain races are always portrayed the same way on TV. The Black guy is usually the urban rebel who constantly stands up to authority, or is the super smart Urkel-nerd. The Indian guy is always the shop owner, the Asian guy always the shrewd businessman with no emotion or the super smart geeky guy with a bad accent. It's no wonder people think what they think.
One last question: Who would you rather date? The college educated guy with a great job as a television producer who will never lie to you or mistreat you, or the average guy who still lives in his mother's basement with no job who will cheat on you if he thinks you aren't looking? Here is the catch - you only date people of the same race, and the average guy that lives with his mom is the same race as you. | |
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ml456
| Joined: 5/14/2008 Msg: 180 | |
| Racism in Dating Posted: 3/21/2009 8:46:21 AM |
I don't believe for one second that what the OP wrote actually happened. Unless he initially sent racist messages himself, I seriously doubt he got replies from women like those he mentioned. I think he posted this just to get attention.
This situation that the OP is describing is a very realistic possibility. As I stated earlier, a few people on a different dating site made racist comments to me simply because I stated that I was attracted to black men on my profile. Some people can be rude especially on the internet because of the anomyity factor. | |
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| Racism in Dating Posted: 3/21/2009 10:01:24 AM |
There was a Caucasian woman in Australia who apologised for her choice in men and saying she only wanted contact with a 'black man' which I felt was equally racist.......and offensive.
For me this depends on the why of it. I tend not to be physically attracted to white guys. I like them. Have no problems being friends with them. Physically though, I like darker skin tones. That's just my attraction like people being attracted to blonds or redheads or big or little, short or tall. | |
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| Racism in Dating Posted: 3/21/2009 10:21:36 AM | This is so sad to hear. When I was in the service it was the statice quo for "Black" men to get a "White" woman (no offence ment). I met up with so much racism and my first 18yrs of life never knew what it was. As much as I have seen things get better, more so than not, I have seen pure hatred get so much worse. Sometimes it's not that I did anything to a person or their culture. I am lumped together just as you are. I pray that someday the rage will stop... the words will be healed over by the young who will not put up with the elders venomious ways. We can only change ourselves if we "learn" from our past not carry it on our own backs like a bleeding ulcer... | |
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| Racism in Dating Posted: 3/21/2009 3:59:24 PM | Hi v.ellis.wade In My case I fell in love with a Caucasian and had 19 wonderful years and although being a well tanned man of Southern European background I (thankfully)came from an education base and quality of life that the average person in this country would only 'dream of'so that I was 'well conditioned' mentally and psychologically to actually thrive in this country whenever racism ever raised it's ugly head.
What continuously amuses me is the basic logic of the equation; because I personally had no hand in choosing my parents or the country of birth. Hence the basic question arises 'how can anybody be superior to anyone else?
The media feeds on 'spin' and sensationalism;no more,no less. Frankly I don't care if Obama was of any race;Jewish,German or Caucasian (although because I am passionate about Spanish music I wish THE PRESIDENT WAS FEMALE AND SPANISH). (does that sound racist?!!!!!biased I guess!!!!!!
The point you made about stereotyping black guys as rebels is not the fact that they are black but that they are considered to be rebels and then the publicity surrounding their actions thus feeds into the the misconception by the public that only black guys create the problem if SUFFICIENT NUMBERS OF THEM are portrayed in the visual media.This then degenerates into racial hatred and loathing which thank God is not as prevalent in this country.
Who would I rather date?I have dated Australian women from Continental,Asian,Middle Eastern, Russian and Caucasian backgrounds and absolutely enjoyed the different conceptual ideologies, finding that differences (if any) are soon forgotten when dialogue occurs and We then discover that when we "remove the skin off us" we are all the same!! I haven't dated any women who still live with their parents though........... it may be different in the States.I will say one thing for sure though; my son (who looks totally Caucasian and an aspiring singer/songwriter) visited Canada and the states last year and He was amazed at the amount of brilliant musical talent of the average African American displayed openly on the streets and their ability to be happy and friendly despite the serious problems they were experiencing in their lives as explained to my son in subsequent conversations with them.
I guess in your situation I would circulate more, date anyone irrespective of race with interest only in trust and compatibility and of course attraction and I would not be disillusioned about life in general because we all have a wonderful capacity within ourselves to overcome obstacles and find love and happiness if pursued. I would choose dates carefully;sensing honesty and their respect for you in the way they connect with you else leave alone even if it hurts you............. .else it will hurt both parties more later ..........
Despondency is a selfpropagating malaise and needs to be destroyed before it destroys us. I wish You well in your life.Be of good cheer. | |
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| Racism in Dating Posted: 3/21/2009 7:36:18 PM | Ipersonally don't date interacially. I have nothing against it for others. I simply am not attracted to men of color. There's nothing wrong with having preferences on what one finds attractive and what is not attractive. I have that in my profile. It says very clearly, I don't date interracially. Yet, I still get emails saying things like. "hey, let's talk and go out. Here's my number." I used to write back. I now assume they didn't read my profile. My profile is long. I do however, state, read the about me and the no no section of my profile. I think if they didn't read my profile and we have zilch in common( and that goes for all colors) I need not reply. I get emails from guys who think Bikenhikeblonde means Harley. I don't like motorcycles. I am afraid of them and would never ride one. Is it rude for me not reply when I know someone hasn't read my profile? Maybe, but there's something wrong with folks who feel the need to be mean to people. Here's my thought. If I lay every color and race of human down beside each other , and peel back the flesh, we all look the same on the inside! There's nothing wrong with having preferences on what one finds attractive and what is not attractive. There is something wrong with hate. <<-- that's an awful word. I hate no one. Wouldn't the world be a better place if everyone hated no one I don't think it is racist to prefer dating someone of color, or not of color. I do think it is racist to hate people because of color, or not. Racism does not mean preference. I am not racist. I would be friends with anyone. Racism, is more than having a preference as to what you find or do not find attractive. Hate is racism. I am half Hispanic. It's hysterical when I have Hispanics who are racist to me! It really makes me laugh. Having had a Hispanic Mom and a white dad, wasn't always the easiest thing. In my day, ( I am 46) you rarely saw whites and blacks together. It was the same with whites and Hispanics too. My mom and sister were dark with black hair. I am fair skinned with hazel eyes and light hair. My Dad left when I was young. I got a lot of strange treament from both sides. Then and now, I just ignore it. I still get the racism from the Hispanics a lot. I work with kids. I even see it there! The kids are getting better than when I was growing up, but it IS still there. I had one kid who said " Your MOM was HIspanic, YOU are White, not Hispanic!" She said this in a very mean tone of voice. Isn't that funny? How's that for racism? I would rather date the guy who has the chemistry and attraction and the SAME types of likes and dislikes. That part's really important to me. I wouldn't date someone who doesn't like to work out. So, with that being said, does that make me a racist? I woudn't date a fat guy. That turns me off. I used to be fat too! Does that make me a racist to fat people? NO it does not. I simply prefer slim guys because that's what my eyes and body find attractive. I have fat friends and fat family members. I love them. If you won't have anything to do with someone because of color, weight etc, then it is racism. But, it is everyones choice to date the nice guys, with things in common, who they are attracted to, white black or pink with purple polka dots. Is it racist to assume that someone is racist just because the prefer to date someone of the same or of different color? Only that person knows if it's racism or preference of attraction. | |
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| Racism in Dating Posted: 3/21/2009 7:38:42 PM | I am from a small town in the country, where the population is predominantly caucasian. My past has consisted of white men only, why...because that is what I am used too. That is what is around me. Never really gave it much thought.
However, this time I focused on meeting a man with strong core values, high morals and integrity. Amazingly I meet a wonderful black gentleman. Does it bother me? Not at all. As I gave up chocolate for lent, I now have a very special kind of chocolate. Now that my eyes have opened up to this genre, it amazes me how many handsome black men are actually out there.
One day, it will be wonderful when we can all live together, in peace. | |
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| Racism in Dating Posted: 3/22/2009 12:08:10 AM | | Brothers are putting 'i prefer caucasion women' on their profiles. I think its all nonsense. but really is there any love lost?? NO u should be thankful u found out through a message and not when u pull up to her house to find a burning cross on her lawn. Maybe u should try canadian women. White girls looovvee the black men here. | |
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| Racism in Dating Posted: 3/22/2009 6:00:11 AM | Ipersonally don't date interacially. I have nothing against it for others. I simply am not attracted to men of color. There's nothing wrong with having preferences on what one finds attractive and what is not attractive. I have that in my profile. It says very clearly, I don't date interracially. Yet, I still get emails saying things like. "hey, let's talk and go out. Here's my number." I used to write back. I now assume they didn't read my profile. My profile is long. I do however, state, read the about me and the no no section of my profile. I think if they didn't read my profile and we have zilch in common( and that goes for all colors) I need not reply. I get emails from guys who think Bikenhikeblonde means Harley. I don't like motorcycles. I am afraid of them and would never ride one. Is it rude for me not reply when I know someone hasn't read my profile? Maybe, but there's something wrong with folks who feel the need to be mean to people. Here's my thought. If I lay every color and race of human down beside each other , and peel back the flesh, we all look the same on the inside! There's nothing wrong with having preferences on what one finds attractive and what is not attractive. There is something wrong with hate. <<-- that's an awful word. I hate no one. Wouldn't the world be a better place if everyone hated no one I don't think it is racist to prefer dating someone of color, or not of color. I do think it is racist to hate people because of color, or not. Racism does not mean preference. I am not racist. I would be friends with anyone. Racism, is more than having a preference as to what you find or do not find attractive. Hate is racism. I am half Hispanic. It's hysterical when I have Hispanics who are racist to me! It really makes me laugh. Having had a Hispanic Mom and a white dad, wasn't always the easiest thing. In my day, ( I am 46) you rarely saw whites and blacks together. It was the same with whites and Hispanics too. My mom and sister were dark with black hair. I am fair skinned with hazel eyes and light hair. My Dad left when I was young. I got a lot of strange treament from both sides. Then and now, I just ignore it. I still get the racism from the Hispanics a lot. I work with kids. I even see it there! The kids are getting better than when I was growing up, but it IS still there. I had one kid who said " Your MOM was HIspanic, YOU are White, not Hispanic!" She said this in a very mean tone of voice. Isn't that funny? How's that for racism? I would rather date the guy who has the chemistry and attraction and the SAME types of likes and dislikes. That part's really important to me. I wouldn't date someone who doesn't like to work out. So, with that being said, does that make me a racist? I woudn't date a fat guy. That turns me off. I used to be fat too! Does that make me a racist to fat people? NO it does not. I simply prefer slim guys because that's what my eyes and body find attractive. I have fat friends and fat family members. I love them. If you won't have anything to do with someone because of color, weight etc, then it is racism. But, it is everyones choice to date the nice guys, with things in common, who they are attracted to, white black or pink with purple polka dots. Is it racist to assume that someone is racist just because the prefer to date someone of the same or of different color? Only that person knows if it's racism or preference of attraction.
Wait... you're half Caucasian and half Hispanic, but you don't date outside your race?
Then which race do you consider yourself to be? Which race do you date? | |
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| Racism in Dating Posted: 3/22/2009 11:06:52 AM | | U need to let people now how she is, what is her screen name? she will got lots of replys. | |
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| Racism in Dating Posted: 3/22/2009 12:20:41 PM | There are degrees of racism. Just because a person won't date a certain race, doesn't mean they will discriminate against that race in other areas of life. I understand that.
But, let us not delude ourselves, excluding certain races is racism. Doesn't mean you have a white hood and a noose in your closet. Doesn't mean that you would not hire, or befriend a person of that race, it just means you won't date them because of their race. Period.
Basically, I'm saying that there are individuals, even in races you may not find physically attractive, who you may think are hot. Now, if given the chance to date them and you would not because they are a member of a certain race, then it goes beyond simple "preference" and lands squarely in the realm of racism.
There is an ethnicity that I do not find attractive at all. But, I have seen women of that ethnicity that were very beautiful. If I had the opportunity to date, fall in love, marry and grow old with these women I would. Do you guys(and girls) understand the point I'm trying to make?
Let me make sure what I'm saying is clear; anytime anyone makes a decision based on race, then that person, by the dictionary definition of the word, is being racist.
With that said, I've had something similar happen to me. Except the woman I wrote had checked out my profile four times in the course of a week and a half. So, I wrote her. She replied saying she doesn't date "s." This of course made me really curious. So I wrote back asking why she keeps looking at my profile. What was her reply? "You look like your from India. Not a ." Literally, I almost fell out of my chair laughing at her idiocy. ...lol The next day, her profile had been deleted. To her, it didn't matter how dark I was. As long as I wasn't a black man, I was fair game. I feel sorry for people like that.
OP, just take in stride. For every ignorant racist person here, there are 5 or 6 fish who aren't. Keep your head and stay positive. Let Lady Karma take care of the haterz. ...lol
Lateef | |
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| Racism in Dating Posted: 3/22/2009 2:00:30 PM | go back to africa
when were you in Africa?
What horrible people! You deserve to be treated better than that. | |
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| Racism in Dating Posted: 3/22/2009 3:07:31 PM | HI HAVING JUST READ UR PIECE AND THE EXPERIENCES YOU AVE HAD WITH WOMEN I FELT IMPELLED TO DROP A QUICK LINE.
I APOLOGIZE ON BEHALF OF THE DAMN RIGHT RUDE, UNEDUCATED, SHALLOW MINDED, WOMEN THAT SENT U THOSE DISGUSTING REMARKS. ITS A FACT OF LIFE THAT WE EACH AND EVEYONE OF US WILL FOLLOW OUR OWN PATH BUT ALONG THE WAY WE WILL ENCOUNTER SUCH PEOPLE AND REMARKS AND I THINK U HAVE WRITTEN A BEAUTIFUL COMMENT WHICH CLEARLY SHOWS THAT U TREATED THOSE REMARKS WITH THE CONTEMPT THEY DESERVE....WELL DONE U!!
i MUST ADD THAT I TOO HAVE HAD SIMILAR REMARKS REGARDING MY PREFERENCE OF BLACK MEN....YES U READ CORRECTLY MY PREFERENCE!!! AND I ALSO INFORMED THE SAD MEN THAT FELT THE NEED TO THROW SOME RATHER CHEAP, NASTY COMMENTS MY WAY THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT ITS ABOUT PERSONAL PREFERENCE.
IM SAD THAT THERE ARE PEOPLE LIKE THIS IN THE WORLD THAT I HAVE TO LIVE IN BUT HEY HOOOOOOOO, THEY CAN JUST WALK BY ME...
I HOPE U FIND WHAT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR SOON AND HOPEFULLY YOU HAVNT BEEN PUT OFF.
AND FOR ANYONE WITH A CRAZY COMMENT FOR ME REFERRRING TO ANYTHING IV WRITTEN DONT BOTHER U WILL GET A BIG FAT...C.L.I.C.K AND ..........D.E.L.E.T.E!!!!
BIG HUGZ
ME XXXXXXXXXX | |
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| Racism in Dating Posted: 3/22/2009 3:15:57 PM | HI
I DONT WISH TO OFFEND ANYONE BUT I SERIOUSLY DONT SEE A WOMANS CHOICE OF ONLY WANTING TO DATE A BLACK MAN AS RACISIT...IM NOT OFFENDED IF A BLACK MAN ONLY WISHES TO DATE A BLACK WOMAN.....I SEE IT AS A PERSONAL PREFERENCE...AND THATS SIMPLY WHAT IT IS, IN THE SAME WAY I WOULDNT WANT TO DATE ANY ONE BLONDE IM SIMPLY NOT PHYSICALLY ATTRACTED TO IT..... DOES THAT MAKE ME BLONDEST!!!
I THINK WE ARE TAKING THINGS TOO FAR AND AS LONG AS IM NOT RUDE TO ANY WHITE MEN WHO REPLY TO MY PROFILE (WHICH I NEVER AM) I SEE NOTHING WRONG IN SIMPLY POINTING OUT THAT IM ATTRACTED TO MEN OF COLOUR...HOW THEY TAKE IT IS WHAT MAKES IT RACIST OR NOT......IS IT NOT??
PLEASE DONT SEE THIS AS A PITCH FOR AN ARGUMENT IT ISNT MEANT TO BE I JUST NOTICED YOUR POST AND THOUGHT HELL IS THAT WHAT PPL THINK? COZ MY PROFILE CLEARLY STATES THAT IM ONLY ATRACTED TO BLACK MEN...BUT ITS BY NO MEANS IN MY EYES A RACISIT COMMENT...AND FOR ANYONE TAKING IT THAT WAY SORRRRRRRRRRYYYYYY.
ME XX | |
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| Racism in Dating Posted: 3/22/2009 3:43:37 PM | Men I get plenty of BS from idiots from this site, I am withe but French, and apparently it is not a good thing for some. Or my idea bug them a lot ? All I can tell you is get over and move on , they are not worth time and energy
Ursula..... Hello Darling , No kidding , so in one of you answer to me you called me "froggie" and now you are a good" withe" Girl ? Woman you are a trip don't you. Now, don't you mind explaining ," with big or little words", what you are telling this man? So he is "targeting"....? Meaning what ? He have to target what ? He has to be more " color blind" ....? Meaning what ?
You just like to use words , and not saying much of any thing at all . Look like you must think as your self as a legend in your own mind don't you! You answer on the forums for no other reason then reading your own BS, because so fare, I don't see, or read any thing of substance in your answer to the question this man asked in the first place ? Do you mind using "little ,or big words", to explain the less pseudo intellectual , what you mean ?
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| Racism in Dating Posted: 3/22/2009 4:23:56 PM | Man, That is a good question, why is it about dating our own race ? Look like too many are not that bright to start with. So if you take it in consideration, you realized that their is a lot of screw up people in this world. I can't date any women with a narrow minded brain, I can stand to have to bring a woman to a party, and she act " weird" with some of my friends, because they are not withe, not from the same country, guess what ? I dump a lot of women in this country for that reason.
Some like the "exotic", that is why they are "into" a certain race or color. What I find weird, and not what I am looking in a woman . I don't get it either, as we are looking for " Love", so what if the perfect woman is not my race ? I find it not that easy to find a mate, color, or race is not going to stop me in any way shape or form.
And yes , I think the culture define who people are , in this country any way.
I have to cancel membership in certain associations, because of what I heard , jokes or what ever was said. If I find a Lady who is not withe , and bring her with me , I will have to kill half of the SOB in the place " men and women ".
I am also aware that I go places for now because I am single, but will not be able to later , for the same reasons. Even the American Legion , unless I want to start some trouble, to teach them a lesson, but I will have to move to another town , other wise the cops are going to stop me for any excuses, and make my life miserable.
We may still have a long way to go, yet , when I look at the younger generation, I feel that we are going to be ok at the end, as they can care less about race , and color . | |
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| Racism in Dating Posted: 3/22/2009 5:38:56 PM | | I have got to comment on this one! I am so over this racism BS I could scream. I am white, caucasion...whatever you want to call me, I don't care. I'm a human being and I just want to find a man who will be my best friend, shares the same interests & values, won't cheat on me, will love me forever and be there till the end. If you're purple and you've got those qualities I want you! Most women are looking for the same thing, so why is color still an issue? I'll tell you why, because of the way people are raised, and don't let anyone tell you any different. It's just the way it is and until people start thinking for THEMSELVES, nothing will ever change. On a personal note...I may not always be attracted to someone, but it will never be because of the color of their skin. | |
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| Racism in Dating Posted: 3/22/2009 5:54:29 PM | | Wow it's amazing how someone has to make you feel small so they can feel big. It's a shame that people have to be so nasty when it isn't warrented. It is so easy to just say I am not interested, but like I said some people are prone to make others feel small. I would brush your shoulder and keep it moving. It hurts because it is 2009 and you would expect so much more from people. | |
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| Racism in Dating Posted: 3/22/2009 6:01:36 PM | Well Bud, So sorry that you are" so over this racism BS." But like you are saying , you are withe, so get over what ever you want.
Think, when people are treated like dogs for more then 200 years, they have the right to talk about racism, freaking like it or not, and if you have a problem with it, guess what ? Get over it......or if see Kay, tell her hye for me ..... Actually who give a shit what a white man "who want to scream " think about racism ? Poor Baby, don't cried, we will stop one day , may today is not your day ?
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| Racism in Dating Posted: 3/22/2009 7:01:38 PM | To: coeurvaillant Unfortunately, you have misinterpreted the inflection and tone of my post, which is sometimes common in posts and in emails. Please try to read a post carefully before responding to make sure you understand what the poster is conveying. First, I am a female, not a "bud". And, what you so unpleasantly did not understand about my comment of "I'm so over this racism BS" is... I do not appreciate those who are racists and who conduct themselves in society as bigot's. I'm sure you will regret your hasty post of scarcasm once you comprehend the meaning of my post. I'm glad you yourself also feel the same way I do about racism. Peace  | |
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| Racism in Dating Posted: 3/22/2009 7:27:50 PM | 1. Saying you don't date people from other races is blatantly racist.
2. Saying you are attracted to people of a certain race is common and understandable. After all, attraction may be based on any number of things, from big butts to big boobs to any number of arbitrary factors. But there are few things that are more interesting about someone's appearance than the color of their skin. | |
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| Racism in Dating Posted: 3/22/2009 9:31:10 PM | yes sireree I fee your pain rightnow I am involved with this sweet little sista and let me tell you she is worried about what people think about us as a couple . all I can tell the haters of the world go get your own sista this one is mine its hell to be white these days and love someone that isnt white but to all the haters get a life and love your self for a change ask for forgivness for yourself because the ones you are hatin on dont care and they are sleeping good at night while your up being pissed off at things that you can do nothing about. Iwill close my soap box and say God bless all you happy people out there | |
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