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 blueceleste
Joined: 6/2/2005
Msg: 201
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Racism in DatingPage 9 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
someone using racism just to tell u they dont like u just tells u a lot about the person. everybody has a preference, but one day i saw a mexican guy hitting on a white girl. she freaked out and told him what she thought of mexicans. she said to the latino that she hates how mexicans come here illegally, rude and obnoxious, the list went on. the latino sat there embarrassed and couldnt believe what she said. she said that in front of a lot of people. the woman could of politely said i dont date mexicans, i prefer xyz to date but i dont turn down friendship from anyone.
 PETER4444
Joined: 1/17/2009
Msg: 202
Racism in Dating
Posted: 3/23/2009 4:23:28 PM
Hi bikenhikeblonde
Some years ago in South Africa a man classified as 'White'
under the then racist regime underwent a skin pigmentation
change in adulthood (due to a genetic fault) resulting in him changing from
White to a dark skin and he had to be reclassified by the
government as to his racial origin which caused a stir all
round the world.His whole family thus had to be reclassified;
I would think.

I wondered how you would react in the unlikely event that you
enter into a relationship with such a man;but I am guessing that
you would love him all the same because by then other factors would
come into play and his appearance would have minimal effect in
your attitude and feelings towards him by that time.
 Redrockrunner
Joined: 7/1/2008
Msg: 203
Racism in Dating
Posted: 3/23/2009 5:51:28 PM
It works both ways; I went on a site that was for mainly inter racial couples; I have been on sites such as black planet. I have been very mistreated by black women and black men demanding that I stick to my own kind. It works both ways, I wouldn't have believed that a black women or man for that matter would tell me that I had no right to go on a site because I all I wanted was some black****,,

Yes we have a long way to go,,,,
 slybandit
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 204
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Racism in Dating
Posted: 3/23/2009 6:24:56 PM
Yeah, well, OP, the whole thing about those KKK-types is that they are not exactly quick to change if you follow me.

I can only presume they're still holding "meetings", as if seriously, there is any new business to discuss among those types.

Hey guys, still hate everyone that's a darker shade than driven snow? Yup? Meeting over, I guess.

Hey, you could always move up here to Canada and only get politely mistreated and discriminated against, instead of getting racial epithets thrown in your face.

And as far as the "works both ways" thing goes, yeah, sure, the next time electing some whitebread-from-a-rich-family becomes a "historic event" worthy of plates from the Franklin Mint, we can start talking about how this "works both ways" bit is actually a serious problem.

And actually, blueceleste, I would not call telling someone to their face "I don't date Mexicans" would be particularly "polite", but maybe that's just me.

EDIT: Actually, when you think about it, it's probably a good thing that the racists will not date outside their "races". It narrows the field of people who will have to put up with their flagrant stupidity.
 Kalif916
Joined: 2/12/2009
Msg: 205
Racism in Dating
Posted: 3/23/2009 8:27:27 PM
Partner l like your story. lam from Africa original and l never seen crazy sick prejudiced people like those you met . they are ignorant and eveil who against other. In Africa continet they are deffirent kind of race white europian, black, indians arabs and asian and all kind of beautiful people in planet. every body are getting long and very respectful. you just met evil people. they have problem with your life every day, so let them go to hell
 Qrah
Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 206
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History
Racism in Dating
Posted: 3/23/2009 10:24:40 PM
when i was a child i was exposed to men that were:
alcoholics
physically and verbally abusive to their wife
bible bashers

i decided from a very early age to not involve myself with men from my own cultural group for the above reasons. yes, i made the assumption that men within my own group were one of the above and i didnt want to play russian roulette to find my match amongst them...

however, now that i'm older, if i was to meet a man from my own cultural group who had all the qualities and attributes i desired in a man, i would consider dating him.

there are some whose first hand experiences led them to rule out certain cultural groups. are they ignorant? real fear for what ever reason is a legitimate reason for someone to omit certain groups from their list of preferences.

we talk about acceptance, yet no one is willing to accept someone for the choices they make - whether those choices have been guided by fear/ ignorance or what ever, it's their choice.
 Redrockrunner
Joined: 7/1/2008
Msg: 207
Racism in Dating
Posted: 3/24/2009 6:17:45 AM
So what your saying is; your racism experience (electing the president) which didn't happen to you personally is more egregious than what happened to me..its all bad and you don't get to measure it.

Black people mistreat other people just as bad as white people IN THIS DAY OF AGE. I am not talking about back in the day ok,,I am talking about right now. YOU can pretend to think the black culture as it the worse; but that is not correct. Since it is what I do and what I study,,,I can safely say it

The races are so polarized; its getting worse not better.
 uultramann
Joined: 2/5/2009
Msg: 208
Racism in Dating
Posted: 3/24/2009 8:32:28 AM
Skin pigmentation is nothing more than a form of evolution.

Don't let it define who you are.

The sooner people see, the better.
 Zeta09
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 209
Racism in Dating
Posted: 3/24/2009 1:20:32 PM
I'm a minority myself, and I have also experienced something similar. I'm really disappointed to know that there are racists and closed minded people on this site. I think that best you can do now and to ignore those people and move on, those kind of people don't deserve to be taken seriously. someday they will face the consequences of their close-mindedness. life goes on despite what kind of mean replies you get from these people.
 celts123
Joined: 5/15/2008
Msg: 210
Racism in Dating
Posted: 3/24/2009 1:25:33 PM
The races are so polarized; its getting worse not better.


While I will agree that there is still some racism, I don't think it is any worse now than it was 10, 25 or especially 50 yrs ago.
 Redrockrunner
Joined: 7/1/2008
Msg: 211
Racism in Dating
Posted: 3/24/2009 4:11:53 PM
It is much worse; you don't see it because it isn't so evil as perhaps someone being hung from a tree or being dragged down the street behind an old pick up truck. Its here in many forms; it garnishes political agendas and religious venues of all cultures and races. It gives individuals the false right(in their minds) to get even for perceived injustices to themselves. Meaning, a person living in todays society thinks its ok to get even with other races because of what happend 100's of years ago or even back in the 50's and 60's. False outrage and selective hatred runs rampant because some people feel its their right to now to act for people years ago. This for something that didn't happen to them on the same level now continues to drive all cultures to re-act.
 PETER4444
Joined: 1/17/2009
Msg: 212
Racism in Dating
Posted: 3/24/2009 4:45:35 PM
Hey slybandit!!!!

All I would like to add to the conversation is that when you speak about
Mexicans PLEASE REMEMBER THAT THE GREATEST SINGER
EVER TO BE BORN ON EARTH (AND MAYBE THE UNIVERSE!) WAS
BORN IN MEXICO WITH SPANISH,CHINESE AND JAPANESE ANCESTRY
AND IF THAT IS NOT SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BEAUTIFUL NOTHING
IS AND SHE SINGS WITH SUCH EMOTION AND AFFECT THAT NOBODY
HAS IN MY OPINION EVER COME CLOSE TO HER!!!!!!

Her name is Maria guadalupe araujo YONG also known as Ana Gabriel
and I advise any redneck out their to listen to her singing 'LUNA' on
youtube and tell me they were not visibly affected by her singing!She
drips emotion and I swear she is nearly in tears with a voice that is perfect!

Cannot agree with you more with regard to ending colour
as a non-issue;It may be appropriate to note that there are
people in India shades whiter than many kkk members if
that is the criteria for racial superiority!They live in the
snow laden mountains and are considered to be arians who
have lived ther for 'yonks'.

Hence geographical boundaries,racial boundaries,cultural
boundaries and any boundaries that try to separate mankind
is simply a non-issue and worthy of contempt!
 PETER4444
Joined: 1/17/2009
Msg: 213
Racism in Dating
Posted: 3/24/2009 5:52:05 PM
Hi Lulaby19

I simply wanted to add that it is SO IMPORTANT
to hear what these "close-minded' individuals have to
say and give them a chance to put their point of view.
I t was VOLTAIRE who said "I disagree with what you
say but I will defend unto death your right to say it"!

Additionally, We need to hear them say it openly,
rather than behind closed doors so we can be
better prepared in case our democratic system
and freedoms are threatened by them.

We may have minimised past terrorist attacks
had we let 'them' voice their 'chatter' or 'rantings'
in a public forum.To be 'forewarned' is to be
'forearmed'.
 GeminiJay1
Joined: 6/19/2008
Msg: 214
Racism in Dating
Posted: 3/24/2009 7:33:26 PM
KG124, it is unfortunate that you experienced such harsh responses, however, I am going to play devils advocate for a second and then give my opinion. Keep in mind first that you did intrude into their lives, and offer a hello, friendship or possibly more. A lot of people are still not past the times of severe racism, and because this is a free country, they don't have to be. Whether they should be is subjective, and meaningless. I am African American as well and know many African American racists(I am not one I date all races). And a lot of other African Americans that will sit and laugh when fellow Blacks make racial comments. I am sure you know Black racists as well. Does it hurt you as much when they are commenting on Whites as when the comments were directed at you by racists? Probably not right? And definitely not as much as it would hurt a caucasian hearing those words. Rejection is a part of the dating process, sometimes it's smoothe and sometimes it's not. We cannot dictate the responses of others, people aren't puppets, and if you think about it, it really doesn't make sense to sit and judge them because people run the gambit of all possible responses, some good and some harsh. Some responding with "You are very cute" and some with "I don't date N@$$@#s". If you want to be in the game you have to be willing to play on if you get hurt. A roulette wheel if you will to which I would say "Bet on Black". What I would do is just laugh to myself and say "Wow, that was an interesting opinion she had, but she is one of 7 billion people on this ball which is probably one of infinite planets, does her one four word phrase, when there have been about a Quintillion words uttered by humans in history, really have much meaning in the grand scheme of things? No." I would never let it ruin my day. In life, we take risks for rewards. Everything involving getting ahead involves risk. If you never take a risk, you remain stagnant, you neither win or lose. This is the same in business, risking money for the chance to make more, when 9 of 10 fail. If you take risks, and stick your neck out, sometimes you will win by a nose, and sometimes your head will get metaphorically cut off by a guillotine tongue.
 Sunshine33066
Joined: 1/25/2009
Msg: 215
Racism in Dating
Posted: 3/24/2009 9:18:01 PM
Nastiness like that is hard to just ignore, but idiots will always be idiots and nothing can ever be done to change them.

Just know who you are and be proud of it. There are so many people that do see you for you, and not the color of your skin.

And yes, rant and rave, you have every right
 Sivoph
Joined: 8/2/2008
Msg: 216
Racism in Dating.
Posted: 3/24/2009 11:44:55 PM
I think sexual attraction and chemistry tend to transcend race. We may have certain ideas about what we want...but that could change with the right person. Sorry to hear about your experiences...but, you know, women discriminate highly when choosing a mate. Some, I guess, are more vicious than others...lol.
 historian1441
Joined: 10/4/2008
Msg: 217
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History
Racism in Dating.
Posted: 3/28/2009 7:31:05 PM
i have had similar experiences with racism, but mine weren't the womans attitude but the men of that particular race. i've had black men threaten me with bodily harm because i was shooting baskets with a hot cafe au lait girl. yet these same racists showed up with 2 white girls. i dated a nice black women i met at a predominantly white club. we went out a couple times to white clubs and nothing was said but when we went to a black club a racist black man jumped on the hood of my car and gave me **** for daring to date one of "their" women. she walked 25 feet to the door and chewed out 3 black men for making racist remarks about me. i've had the dennys experience when i went to a black run store. i've been deliberately injured because i smoked black men in basketball, had my work sabotaged by latinos and vietnamese.black on white racist assaults occur far more often than white on black racist assaults yet their murders go unpublished. the local papers only cover white on black racism. i have never had a black men critisize other blacks for making these comments nor have i ever heard a white woman tell other women to stop man bashing. i guess its only a problem when it happens to diversity. when diversity does it its just good clean fun
 ProvokingThought
Joined: 3/24/2009
Msg: 218
Racism in Dating
Posted: 3/28/2009 8:30:59 PM
There is nothing in me that can explain away the ignorance of others - nor excuse it. I do know this much - if you disclude a whole race of people from your personal network simply because of the colour of their skin (or any other physical reason) then the person with the walls put up are really going to miss out deeply on life.

I sit and think about all the things which I have received from people who were different than I - in terms of religion, gender, race, social class, education, etc etc and I realize my life would be very poor had I refused to even know each of them.

I would lack education, income, insight, and most of all - love, because I have received these things and MORE from people who were not exact replica's of myself.

I guess I just wanted to tell you not to let the people who are ignorant and narrow minded anger you, insult you, or hurt you - the best way to think of them is with pity for they know not what they are doing to their own selves by keeping you away.

I wish you well in your future endeavours Suga.
 celts123
Joined: 5/15/2008
Msg: 219
Racism in Dating
Posted: 3/28/2009 10:05:04 PM
black on white racist assaults occur far more often than white on black racist assaults yet their murders go unpublished. the local papers only cover white on black racism.


This is false. The majority of racial hate crime victims are black. Look it up on the FBI's website. Just because no white people gave you a hard time for dating a black person, it doesn't mean that it rarely or never happens. There have been several times when a white person made a racist comment to me ( I'm black ) simply because I was dating a white woman at the time. Or a white woman wouldn't date me due to her racist family members.
 uultramann
Joined: 2/5/2009
Msg: 220
Racism in Dating
Posted: 3/29/2009 7:57:40 AM
There is nothing in me that can explain away the ignorance of others - nor excuse it. I do know this much - if you disclude a whole race of people from your personal network simply because of the colour of their skin (or any other physical reason) then the person with the walls put up are really going to miss out deeply on life.

I sit and think about all the things which I have received from people who were different than I - in terms of religion, gender, race, social class, education, etc etc and I realize my life would be very poor had I refused to even know each of them.

I would lack education, income, insight, and most of all - love, because I have received these things and MORE from people who were not exact replica's of myself.

I guess I just wanted to tell you not to let the people who are ignorant and narrow minded anger you, insult you, or hurt you - the best way to think of them is with pity for they know not what they are doing to their own selves by keeping you away.


 Kingty
Joined: 3/9/2009
Msg: 221
Racism in Dating
Posted: 3/29/2009 8:47:01 AM
Amen brother, that's just people showing there true "colors", I have a similar problem. Check out my thread. go to ask a girl it's labeled "wht do women run from me"
 Brandie60
Joined: 12/27/2008
Msg: 222
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History
Racism in Dating
Posted: 3/29/2009 8:53:20 PM
I honestly don't know why you're so surprised OP. If you contacted a racist, that's exactly how I'd expect her to respond!

No, I'm not saying that it is right, but I certainly do not see a reason to start a thread about it! People get rejected everyday for all sorts of reasons.....this is just another reason...big deal!

Perhaps you can post a suggestion that POF include the option to show if the fishies wish to date outside of their race.

To the others who are posting that blacks do the same, sorry it is not the same thing. When a black person makes a comment like those that you've mentioned, it is due to jealousy or seeing you as competition and not because they see you as inferior.

Brandie
 pbtipton83
Joined: 1/24/2009
Msg: 223
Racism in Dating
Posted: 3/30/2009 12:19:35 PM
Kg124, I am not attracted to black men, but im not racist. I get emails from black men and I let them know that im not attracted to black men. I get all the time the racial slurs like white cracker b*tch, take my white trash somewhere else, go take your racist fat a** and eat sh*t and die etc. coming from them all because I am not attracted to them. Believe it or not white ppl get those comments as well as black, asian, any other race does. I just ignore it and block them. Good luck to you.
 dwf44
Joined: 3/21/2009
Msg: 224
Racism in Dating
Posted: 3/30/2009 12:27:08 PM

Kg124, I am not attracted to black men, but im not racist. I get emails from black men and I let them know that im not attracted to black men. I get all the time the racial slurs like white cracker b*tch, take my white trash somewhere else, go take your racist fat a** and eat sh*t and die etc. coming from them all because I am not attracted to them.


I'm not defending the racist comments. But it's unnecessary to say that you aren't attracted to black men. Just say we're not a match and leave it at that.
 pbtipton83
Joined: 1/24/2009
Msg: 225
Racism in Dating
Posted: 3/30/2009 12:37:06 PM
Dwf... there is nothing wrong with me saying what I say. I dnt use the vulgar words like others do. The reason I say that in general, because they still get offended and wanna know why. So I tell them upfront.
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