| Why is it now wrong to be homophobic ?
Posted: 12/30/2008 6:48:35 PM | I simply wanna know why , when everyone used to be homophobic , is it wrong to be homophobic now ? As I said several posts ago.....
It's called progress, learning, and understanding. Mankind is constantly moving forward, learning new things about both ourselves and the world around us.
Just as once we thought that the world was flat and we learned that we were wrong, we used to think that homosexuality was bad/unacceptable and we have learned that we were wrong.
Education about, and understanding of, something often changes ones viewpoint. | |
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| Why is it now wrong to be homophobic ?
Posted: 12/30/2008 6:51:37 PM | Whats with the whole " ahh , but if you're homophobic , you obviously have something to hide " sh*t ?
Because there is an element of truth in it, but whether you accept that or not is a different story
I will give you a few other theories as to why one would be homophobic:
1) Fear of the unknown
2) Feel threatened? Why?
3) Are against any differences in society - believe in the status quo
4) What a person has been taught
5) Personal experiences
6) People are afraid to show affection for members of the same sex, even non-sexual
7) Masculine overcompensation, which is the idea that men who are insecure about their masculinity will behave in an extremely masculine way as compensation (Freud)
I am not homophobic, although I do have strong beliefs in other areas
I think it should be a case of "Live and let live"
I think the term homophobic is simply a label liberals impose on people who disagree with the homosexual lifestyle. We all know it doesn't take long for liberals to label people such as racist, bigot, sexist, etc, to stifle a conversation... | |
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| Why is it now wrong to be homophobic ?
Posted: 12/30/2008 6:53:50 PM |
I simply wanna know why , when everyone used to be homophobic , is it wrong to be homophobic now
Don't put us all in the same basket please. Not EVERYONE used to be homophobic. Just those that didn't understand that people are people, whoever they care to love. | |
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| Why is it now wrong to be homophobic ?
Posted: 12/30/2008 6:54:16 PM | I think op , you are quite right in expressing that it is infact your choice and how you feel regarding homosexuals , and you also probably knew you would be stood alone , or possibly with very little support on this forum, however , I was rather bemused to read that you did go into a gay club , and of course this resulted in you attacking someone. I am not saying for a second that this man had any right to pinch your ass.. as there are enough women I know would protest as loudly should a man randomly nip her ass in a club...but ..why did you put yourself in a situation where you are surrounded by the people whose sexual orientation you find none too delighful!!! I wouldnt stick my head in a bucket of tits mate!!
Of course you are allowed your preferences, its your life , your desires and upto you who you choose to have around you . I am friends with ff12 who expressed how he is also a homophobe , obviously I knew this already , the difference is ..he would never ever put himself in the the situation that you did , he wouldnt directly alienate a person for being gay , he would just not welcome them into his life...ever..
You need to stay away ... you do your thing , they will do theirs ...we all have choices | |
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| Why is it now wrong to be homophobic ?
Posted: 12/30/2008 6:54:57 PM | People have the right to their own will.
And if your will is to hate homosexuality - hate poofs - hate queers - hate bum bangers - then so be it
Personally I see things from a more satellite view - out there - men are simplistic being sof simplistic pleasures - and i imagine a ship wrecked island of men and only men - would very soon become an island of men ****ing men
Gay or overly gayness annoys me - and the right to jump and shout and demand I accept that people are gay annoys me - I really really dont care - and for thousands of years no one else has - its only recently since we have invented the maze of laws and freedoms that it becomes some issue
If your black - in todays age thats acceptable but what is also real is that someone wants to hate you because your a to them
And if your gay - then who cares - but still to this day someone is wanting to kill you because your a poof
Thats reality - we cant change how people will to be - only those people can change thier will to accept what is before them
If they choose or dont will to do so - then so be it - that is the right of their will | |
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| Why is it now wrong to be homophobic ?
Posted: 12/30/2008 6:57:52 PM | so by your reasoning sjs , i am uneducated and therefore thick because i dont accept it ?
regarding therapy , 20 years agao , everyone was homophobic , so should the whole nation have been placed on Dr. Whittakers chair and asked about their mother ?
What has changed ? a few camp comedians , followed by the deluge of reality tv which always has one in there , programming us to believe its normal and acceptable ?
Our whole nation was incensed at it only 10 or 20 years ago in everything from monty python to dennis the menace and his limp wristed next door neighbour walter , yet all of a sudden , its become popular to hunt the homophobe and make allusions to a secret and ambiguous lifestyle , simply because they think the way everyone did , and now suddenly doesnt . It smacks of hypocrisy.
fudge buddy -- i was in that situation because my then-girlfriend who i was with for 3 years , suggested it. As i was staying at hers that night , and she had the keys , there wasnt really a choice , and i wasnt expecting what happened.
and yes , i knew there would be no support , and thats why i made the post , because thats the person i am. | |
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| Why is it now wrong to be homophobic ?
Posted: 12/30/2008 7:08:53 PM | so by your reasoning sjs , i am uneducated and therefore thick because i dont accept it ? No, I haven't said ANYONE is 'thick'. I was talking about the progress of mankind, not you as an individual.
I do, however, believe that if you were to be more 'educated' about homosexuality, and homosexuals, you would find that varied sexual preferences sat more easily with you. (You appear to be basing your hatred upon a very narrow band of experience with gay men). And you'd be less troubled by your, and other peoples, attitudes towards gay people if you were more familiar with them.
And I have to argue with the '20 years ago' claim. I'm a good deal older than you, and I don't remember 'everybody' hating homosexuals. Two of my mothers closest friends were gay men. As was my fathers best man at their wedding.
And as for the comedian thing..... do you not remember Danny LaRue? Or Larry Grayson? Or Frankie Howerd?
I do agree that attitudes have been changing for decades. In the same way as attitudes have changed toward women, and cigarettes,and leeches, and witches, and pesticide sprays, and alcohol, and all sorts of other things.
Times change, people learn, attitudes change. | |
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| Why is it now wrong to be homophobic ?
Posted: 12/30/2008 7:19:42 PM | well , it must just have been my town then , because i clearly remember people always calling them names if they even suspected any effeminacy in them.
Clearly , its more engrained in working class areas such as i grew up in.
Ive no desire to be educated about it Sjs thank you , and i shall continue to keep them at arms length. The homosexuals ive encountered have been disgusting in the most depraved and arrogant way , vile and repugnant , and ive no reason to think that any of the rest of them would be any different.
Im not a menace to society and have no desire to do anything illegal......but we all have our bugbears. | |
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| Why is it now wrong to be homophobic ?
Posted: 12/30/2008 7:57:48 PM | I have deep seated issues do i ?
youre the one who's asking in a thread not too far away , if you have latent homosexuality because you look for a woman with a boyish figure , so if anyones confused mate , try pointing the finger at yourself for starting such an obviously tormented and confused thread , and you have the brass neck to call me a freak ( ? ) when ive openly said im straight , and you are the one who is apparently "confused ".
Its good that you can hide behind a modem and personally string a lot of your best insults together , bt i resist the urge to flame you cos i think youre maybe , if im generous , bordering on amateur. | |
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| Why is it now wrong to be homophobic ?
Posted: 12/30/2008 8:02:38 PM | Come on Dr and Fifty, we all know your game... you wanna have a fall-out on the forum, which will provide you with an excuse to make-up, so you can experience some man-on-man action 
I think it is time for me to retire for the evening/morning, so play nicely now... | |
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| Why is it now wrong to be homophobic ?
Posted: 12/30/2008 8:22:54 PM | your opening post in your thread alluded to the premise that you are wondering if the choice you made was the right one , ie , should you have been with a man or a woman.
Other times I wonder if I met a sexually attractive man would having a relationship with them be more fulfilling than the traditional male 2 female one.
What the hell are ya thinkin that for ?
A straight man wouldnt even consider that indecision , so if anyone has a neon welcome sign on their ass , its you , but i didnt come waltzing into your fu*king thread like a self righteous ***hole with all the answers did i ?
Big deal.....you call me a twat , i call you a bigger twat , you call me the biggest twat ad infinitum , and nothing is resolved , and the issue is still there , so either answer the question in a civilised manner or f*ck off back to the land of confusion in your own thread / head.
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts11509305.aspx
for your reference ^^^ | |
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| Why is it now wrong to be homophobic ?
Posted: 12/30/2008 8:40:38 PM | As had been said, times have changed.
I think the OP's homophobia hasnt been helped by having an overtly aggressive person who seemed quite nasty and just happened to be gay as well. The excessive details about the gay mans sex life is sexually innapropriate in the workplace and could easily be construed as sexual harassment of some form.
BUT you are still homophobic which puts you in a socially unacceptable minority.
Plenty of people dont agree with homosexuality for a variety of reasons, but they arent necessarily homophobic, they just respect peoples rights to do live thier life the way they choose as long as appropriate behaviours happen in appropriate locations./contexts.
You need to take a look at yourself and ask why you feel so strongly. its peoples right to choose to be homosexual. You dont have to like it, but your letting your irational thoughts towards homosexuality make you feel the way they do. To hate people in that way is a bit extreme.
Essesntially YOU have the problem and you need to change your attitude.
For example you say you have no gay friends. what if you met someone, got on great as a friend then you found out later that they were gay??? would you suddenly ditch the frienship and allienate them????? if you do you need to look at your own moral groundings and learn about the real world today.
You said about homophobic marches??? are you daft?? Sure i could understand that if gays have a gay pride march then heterosexual people should be able to have a hetro pride march if they so choose. thats just equality but not to go round screaming "i hate gays" thats as wrong and illegal as is screaming "i hate n*ggers" and would probably get you in trouble with police and rightly so. And for the record you will find people of all sexualitys at the gay pride marches as its more about celebrating individuality and culture than the specifics of being gay. Similar with different cultural marchs around the country.
The way i look at it is Im not gay and its not something that makes biological sense to me (doesnt further species as such - ignoring medical science meddlings which stray away from mother natures intended ways of reproducing!!) But thats a scientific background for you  Beyond the biology though, how someone chooses to live thier life is thier choice though and how they choose to define thier existance is also thier choice. What people do in the bedroom is thier business. I have gay friends and its just not an issue because its thier lifestyle choice.
Sure i think most people might get upset if a gay person was constantly saying " i f*cked john up the a*se 10 times last night and he loved it" to everyone but likewise i would expect a gay person to be offended if I said similar about a female partner in public. But thats an issue of decency and appropriateness not a sexuality one really.
In reality its homosexual people who are far more likely to be offended/bored with hetrosexual people talking too much about thier sex lives. Naked calenders on the office wall and "johnys sex stories from the weekend" are a bit stereotypical examples but happen on a regular basis nonetheless. Often homosexual people will become a bit more tolerant of such activities just to get on, as say 20 years ago woman in the workplace would have had to with similar issues.
But why should people have to change and adapt to tolerate unacceptable behaviour that way when the problem could be solved with tolerance on all sides.
It might be a bit extreme but when the laws on homosexuality changed in the Navy quite a few people "came out" officially, and there was all sorts of panick over avoiding causing offence and ripping down "page 3 " style calenders etc but a compromise was found by letting homosexual people put up thier own fireman calenders etc. compromise was acheived allbeit in a warped sense only found in the forces  Obviously since then such material is now restricted to bedroom spaces out of view to avoid causing anyone potential offence, in line with new PC guidelines. Now the forces had a strong homophobic reputation and if they can change thier views im damned sure you can with a bit of education, tolerance and understanding.
This country has changed its laws and approach to make things equal as thats the world we live in. | |
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| Why is it now wrong to be homophobic ?
Posted: 12/30/2008 9:00:07 PM | fiftydollars , i have better things to do than trade insults with an amoeba such as yourself , or listen to your latent fantasies. Nor do i have time to listen to a morally contemptible reprobate , who has no conscience , trying to indoctrinate the masses by proxy into the wonders of queer-dom and sympathising with their plight. Be it on your own head.
I'm sure you remember posting this
Due to my previous posts on these forums I recieved very nice mail from some very nice men and I found that I felt quite attracted to their personalities and wanted to find out more about them as individuals but felt afraid to be so bold as to ask them more about who they are and their likes and dislikes with the intention of getting to know them better should it seem that I was far too interested in them..
How should we conduct ourselves when it comes to being merely friendly with a same sex person without the fear of coming across as being too friendly ?
And you have the nerve to call me a freak ? You have a short memory. At least i know what i believe ffs !
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| Why is it now wrong to be homophobic ?
Posted: 12/30/2008 9:22:29 PM | you are the one who's clearly been headfukked by the homo promo on tv and in the media . One look at your post above about being attracted to men who messaged you , shows you are clearly confused. Even the thread name was " sometimes i feel confused about my sexuality " so before you start flinging it , look to your own affairs , and sort your own head out. If anyone is a fag here , its you sunshine , and says a lot about your vehemance in the last couple of posts. I bet the veins are popping in your bonce like stressed eric right now. You are the one who is clearly gay .
you wrote
sometimes i doubt my own sexuality..do you ever feel the same ?
here VVV
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts11212620.aspx
happy new year buttmuncher | |
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| Why is it now wrong to be homophobic ?
Posted: 12/30/2008 9:39:21 PM | This may freak a few people out but despite being a tv i am homophobic. Most people will assume all or most tvs are gay/bi/freaks lol.
But as a straight guy who dresses up you would possibly assume i would be very liberal. but no.. i am a homophobic tranny and in one club with a female ex another tv put their hand on my arm to get their coat which was next to me and my male persona came through and i was seething and wanted to chin them.. lol.
Is it wrong to be a homophobe? i dont thinks so. | |
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| Why is it now wrong to be homophobic ?
Posted: 12/30/2008 9:44:14 PM | Only in your wildest dreams knob jockey.
as to your threads , i didnt have to look very far as it was obviously recent. Trying to diffuse the situation by ostentatiosly flirting with me now , in an attempt to prove that you're not bent ? its all classic denial apparently.
You've already outed yourself by saying you're clearly confused about your sexuality , so any woman on here would do well to steer clear of you mister brokeback.
sorry but im ending this.
MODS PLEASE DELETE ME ! THIS PLACE IS A F.U.C.K.I.N.G. JOKE !!!!!!!!!!!! | |
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| Why is it now wrong to be homophobic ?
Posted: 12/30/2008 10:15:58 PM |
what is so wrong with being homophobic ?
"Homophobia. (noun) The irational fear of homosexuals or homosexuality."
Please note the word IRATIONAL.
Just think for a moment about what you have said and try to put it into context.
A few years ago , i was forced to work with the vilest most disgusting representative of the gay fraternity that ive ever met.
Now replace gay with any other subsection of the populace.
A few years ago , i was forced to work with the vilest most disgusting representative of the Asian fraternity that ive ever met.
A few years ago , i was forced to work with the vilest most disgusting representative of the Black fraternity that ive ever met.
A few years ago , i was forced to work with the vilest most disgusting representative of the Jew fraternity that ive ever met.
A few years ago , i was forced to work with the vilest most disgusting representative of the Female fraternity that ive ever met.
A few years ago , i was forced to work with the vilest most disgusting representative of the Blonde fraternity that ive ever met.
Now ask yourself why you are so scared of gays but not other groups. It will probably have something to do with unplesant early experiances or social conditioning.
And by the way, yes you do fear gays.
Thats what Homophobia means.
If you were not scared of them then they would not bother you one way or the other.
Hatred stems from fear.
Basic psychology 101. | |
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| Why is it now wrong to be homophobic ?
Posted: 12/31/2008 12:48:38 AM | Msg52, you are not quite correct in defining homophobia. There is more than one definition of the word. Yes, it can be an irrational fear of homosexuals/homosexuality but it can also be an aversion to or a discrimination against the same. The word 'irrational' is also left out of some definitions. Please check all (or as many as possible) definitions of a word before you start to question people.
I have stated previously in the thread that I am homophobic. I fall into the 'aversion to' category. I am also not irrational either. What homosexuals get up to disgusts me and makes me feel physically sick, probably in a similar way that some people feel about foxhunting. However, as I have previously stated, I actually don't care what they get up to as long as I am not forced to accept it in my life. I don't 'bash' them for what they do but I don't condone it either. I just let them get on with what they want to do as long as they stay out of my life.
To answer another question that has been put in this thread, I do not have any gay friends and if I found out that one of my friends was gay then they would no longer be my friend. Society accepts gays and I accept what goes on in society but it doesn't go on in my life. If it encroaches into my life then I would move away from that part of society. I am not afraid of anyone who is gay, I just don't want to associate with them.
Whether society or individuals like what I say or not, I couldn't give a fcuk. I am what I am just as anyone else is who they are. It's not the homosexuals that I have an aversion to....it's homosexuality that bothers me. I have spent a LOT of time in hospital over the last few years and I have been cared for by several members of the nursing staff who were openly gay, one of whom was extremely camp. But they were doing a job and their sexual orientation didn't come into the equation. They cared for me whilst I was sick and I am grateful for that and I wouldn't think twice about helping someone on the street if they had an accident or something similar even if I knew they were gay. However, on a social level it's a different story. I don't want to go out for a drink with them, I don't want to meet their friends and I don't want to have to sit there and watch them act as a couple. I wouldn't want to hurt them, physically or emotionally, as I believe they have a right to do as they like within the bounds of the law, just as I have the right to disagree with what they do. It is perfectly legal for me to state this and it only becomes illegal once I start to incite others to hate them which I am not doing.
Many in society accept same sex relationships and some do not. I fall into the 'do not' category but I am perfectly happy to live and let live as long as I don't have to join in. I have an aversion to what they are doing but I in no way fear them at all. | |
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| Why is it now wrong to be homophobic ?
Posted: 12/31/2008 1:11:11 AM | I have learnt over the years that what one person regards as normal to another is abnormal, be that sexuality or anything else in their lives.
What goes on behind closed doors is none of my business.
What I dont subscribe to is when homosexuality is used for peak time entertainment with more innuendo than the whole series of carry on films, I refer primarily to Dale Winton who I just cant stomach. However I do find Graham Norton quite funny..... | |
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| Why is it now wrong to be homophobic ?
Posted: 12/31/2008 1:16:09 AM | To me it is important to be tolerant of other peoples beliefs and lifestyle choices but you do not have to be in agreement with them ...
If we go by the rule that all people deserve respect for how they choose to live their lives and that we should actively support their tenets, then we should applaud the terrorists that blow up innocent people.. We should congratulate murderers for their innovative methodologies... Of course we don't and we won't, we know that despite our desire to be understanding and tolerant of other people, there are certain behaviours which are abhorrent to us all..
Homophobia is a perfectly fine and currently legal lifestyle choice... Where you fall foul of polite public opinion is how you put your dislikes across ...
If you dislike gay men, then do not go out of your way to immerse yourself in their culture.. If you go to a gay bar then you WILL meet gay men .. If I do not particularly enjoy the company of religious zealots then I will avoid going to places where they preach religious zealotry.. Simple really... So just avoid places where homosexuality is prevalent and if you are forced into a situation where you cannot avoid some form of interaction with a gay man, put your point across politely, then deal with the man not his sexual proclivities...
Just out of curiosity, does your homophobia extend to lesbianism? | |
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| Why is it now wrong to be homophobic ?
Posted: 12/31/2008 1:25:38 AM | Just out of curiosity, does your homophobia extend to lesbianism?
Now thats a good question.
I remember a discussion with my ex wife where I suggested that men generaly find watching 2 guys getting it on stomach churning but watching 2 women completely the opposite, she didnt believe me until we canvased the opinion of some make friends who agreed 100% | |
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| Why is it now wrong to be homophobic ?
Posted: 12/31/2008 1:30:51 AM | My simple philosophy in life is , when I leave my home in the morning I dont fcuk with anyone and dont expect anyone to fcuk with me.
If the man in the flat next door is taking some up the ass , thats his business pretty much the same way as what goes on in my bedroom is my business.
OT No phobias are wrong they just sometimes need addressing as to why that phobia exists.
Most fears we have can generally be traced back to an insecurity.
Whilst I was in rehab the biggest fear it emerged was rejection as is the biggest fear of most of us and our insecurities will manifest themselves in all kinds of ways to deal with this. | |
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| Why is it now wrong to be homophobic ?
Posted: 12/31/2008 1:36:42 AM | I think your office experience tainted your view of gay men, not all gay men are like that.
I too used to work with the most horrid, mincy, ****y gay man but that was just him, i think he wudda have been nasty if he were gay or straight.
I also imagine that you work with plenty of gay men who dont embrace a camp lifestyle and that you are non the wiser.
I say let it go OP there are bigger things in life to worry about. | |
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| Why is it now wrong to be homophobic ?
Posted: 12/31/2008 2:01:20 AM | OP Why go to a gay bar if you know you don't like gays? I'm don't like junkies so I wouldn't knowingly choose to spend an evening in a crystal meths lab. I don't like the gym so wouldn't choose to spend a weekend training with a bunch of body builders, simply because I know I wouldn't have good time. There's nought so rare as common sense.
Having gone there why resort to violence?
I had a dear friend from primary school who was murdered on his way home from a night out by a bunch of scum who thought it was fun to kick the hell out of a "poof". He was an only child and much loved by his friends - we all still miss him years later, and his parents have never recovered.
That maybe why I personally found your admission of violence so disturbing and why I believe it's you that needs to do some serious thinking.
Live and let live isn't a bad mantra to live by, especially as we all have free will. | |
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