| What should I do..?
Posted: 1/1/2009 5:01:56 AM | Yep, get a job .. sweeping out a store, flipping burgers, anything!
If you think you are feeling 'uncomfortable'... what about her?
She's got a homeless, broke, deadbeat living in her place... playing video games and the "rest of the day" (you said) on the computer.
Eventually she's gonna MAKE you leave.
So get working on it yourself... get prepared.
You're young. Shovel snow, mow lawns, rake leaves, push carts at WalMart, put on a stupid McDonalds hat, do SOMEthing to begin a money flow.
Get out of the chair and do other things too.
Find a sleeping bag and use it instead of her bed, clean the apartment, do the laundry...
in other words, do stuff to make the place nice and your presence less obtrusive... might help delay the day she kicks you out. | |
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| What should I do..?
Posted: 1/1/2009 5:22:19 AM | It's a new year OP. It's yours.
How do you want it to pass? How many days will you waste?
Life is a gift. Untie the ribbons.
You have two choices. Stay in these shoes your wearing now or change.
I think you should choose change.
Ultimately the choices are all yours.
Sometimes life hands us lemons. Make lemonade.
You can wallow in the bitter feelings. They are justified. I gotta hand it to you. I couldn't do it. I could not live with someone who treated me with indifference and ignored me. Never mind sleep in the same bed. I couldn't be in the same house.
Justify the feelings but don't dwell in them. You can't afford to live in that rejection much longer. I think you know it.
Wipe the slate clean. The relationship is over. You have to suck it up. Realize that this happens to millions of people everyday. You are not alone kid. Trust me. It is painful now because after 4 months is still fresh but you are adding salt to the wound by staying there. You know it. You are really complicating the process of getting over the end of the relationship by allowing yourself to be ignored in your own bed. Get OUT of that bed. I don't care if you have to sleep on the floor or standing up in the hallway.
Lack of sleep won't kill you. You will survive.
Lack of companionship or a girlfriend isn't the end of the world either. You have to learn how to be alone for awhile. You need to work on yourself. You don't need to be here looking for another warm body. You don't need someone to love. You need to fall in love with yourself. Your not a poster child for self approval and worth. Being alone won't kill you. Trust me. You may grow to love it!!
Put the f*cken video games away. Step away from the computer. AWAY.. better yet get a f*cken sledge hammer and destroy that video game. That is an addiction that is sucking up your energy and your life. I know marraiges ended over video too. 15 hours a day. You may as well have had a mistress. That f8cken game owns you like heroin does her addict. BELIEVE ME. Get on your knees and ask a power greater than yourself for help.
Give yourself a time frame. A week to get on your feet. A mental health vacation. Make a healthy plan for your life and take a week deciding over and over again that you are going to make the HEALTHY plan work. Get it in your head. AND JUST DO IT. Your strong and healthy and sound intelligent. Thank the universe that you are not handicapped or crippled mentally or living in poverty. Take the week and PICK YOURSELF UP by the bootstraps. This is the new road. Moving on. next.......
Give yourself 2 weeks to get a job. Get the f*ck out of the house. Look for work like it is your full time job. Make interviews. Get some clothes. Practice presenting yourself . Right a solid resume. ASK FOR HELP. Go online and find resources to prepare to MARKET YOURSELF. You have to sell yourself now. Take WHAT EVER job you can get so you can at least afford a room and a place to call your own . When you are not looking or interveiwing....Go volunteer. A shelter ,a hospital a free clinic. Go to an old age home and read a book to an old man. Drop the little game stick and get a life
Then GET A LIFE. A new year. A new chapter.A new adventure..... Oh...my God, to be 20 years old again. You just don't know kid. The world is yours. You can do anything you want to do. You can be whatever you want to be. It's all about CHOICES.
Look. You got dealt a sorry hand. Your dumped and you want your woman back. All you can do now is take responsibitly for your part in the failure of the relationship and try to learn something from it. What ever doesn't kill you will make you stronger. Remember that. You are not going to change her. You can't feel her feelings for her. You can't undo what's done. Just wear what you have to wear in all of it and know that life goes on. Your going to be all right. You've just fallen into an ugly rut. There is away out. Look up kid. I just threw you some ropes.
God bless you and HAPPY NEW YEAR
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| What should I do..?
Posted: 1/1/2009 5:47:34 AM | Op,please read what "takeachillpill" has said,and,then,read it again..........Ok??
She has really said it all and it makes great sense.......!!
You have to get the hell outta there a.s.a.p,before she wants to have her 'co-worker' over for the night.
Coz,then,what are you going to do....????
Hope 2009 is better for you... | |
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| What should I do..?
Posted: 1/1/2009 2:52:25 PM | My sister lives in Dartmouth. But she's happily married. Anyway she's too old for you.
I wont bother to lecture you, except to say this: Thank God I'm not you!
I was in a similar situation once. But it was brief, a month and a half where I was not working and collecting unemployment insurance, because I was being treated for cancer.
She wasn't seeing anyone else because if she was I think I would have killed her (that is not how it sounds).
How can you take lying in bed next to this lady, knowing she is laying down for some other guy? Have you no self respect? She is not coming back to you ever. And if she does, she will leave you again.
Got any friends you can stay with? Parents? You are young. So is she, no doubt. Chalk it up.
To the guy who said no women will respect a man without a job and a car:
I got a job, no car and the full equity of my condominium. (In other words, I own it, not the bank) I could certainly get a car and waste five hundred bucks a month keeping it on the road. We have good transit here and I walk to work . So there! | |
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| What should I do..?
Posted: 1/1/2009 3:52:41 PM | You should get a job and find a place to live and forget her. Sorry but she's gone and you groveling probably isn't attractive to her. You don't need a girlfriend, but you do need a job and a decent place to live. Your priorities are way off. I'm guessing the longer you are hanging around, unemployed and living with her, the more she resents you, so since it's her home that you moved into, it's not your place to move out and quickly. I don't know what the laws are where you live, but her place, she just might toss your stuff out and you'll have no place to live. Job, place to live...then think about dating. Good luck <img src=http://www.plentyoffish.com/smiles/icon_201.gif border=0>
Well crap, I should have read this whole thread first before I posted to the OP's first post, what a crock, troll post. Are all the kids home alone with computers today? | |
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| What should I do..?
Posted: 1/1/2009 4:41:11 PM | The more I read.... there are more holes in your story then Swiss cheese, you're 20, have been living with your girlfriend for 3.5 years? cant move back home because Pops lives in the US of A, mama has new boy toy, you claim you have friends but wont go there, no job, no car, girlfriend is infatuated with a co worker, shes supporting your ass, but you got over your addiction instead of playing 15 hours a day its now 3 hours and you lost your job recently( how could you have a job and play 15 hours a day? )and you sleep together in the same bed and cannot sleep on your couch because of Cat hairs, I guess Calgon or Tide doesnt seem to work?
Yeah I say there is more bullsh1t in your story than a Mississippi Dairy farm | |
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| What should I do..?
Posted: 1/1/2009 6:09:25 PM | Hi xiaox3t ,
I have to say my friend I know where you are coming from because of the situation I am in right now, it's very similar, but I have been with my partner for 8 1/2 years now, and I am finding it hard to go on with the way we are because of the fact the love is just lost, it is the way life goes unfortunately, but I have learned that I am the only one in control of my life as are you, but if you are not married you have an open door to leave, unlike me, I am married and have a load of legalities to get through to change my life in that respect.
I would say to you not to think of your situation as a loss, but to look at it as a learning experience, and to consider this an opportunity for you to have your freedom back and to live life how you would like it, go out and explore and you will see that it will take your mind of your current situation, that's what I am doing and so many of my friends have been there to help, as for work just think positively and you will find work, there are jobs out there, you can do it, just look around at other things, the end of one relationship no matter how hard it is, isn't the end of everything, but the beginning of a new path in your life, I have realised that and I hope you will too, I wish you the best in what you do and hope that things turn out for the better, take care and good luck. | |
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| What should I do..?
Posted: 1/1/2009 6:25:02 PM | Ouch!!!!
I was in a similar situation early last year. I hate to admit it to the world, but since I have made POF my online family what the heck.
My bf at the time was being a jerk. He started coming home late a few times and his excuse was that he had reconnected with a classmate from years ago and they were catching up on old times. Mind you he was not the type to ever go out after work. Even on the weekends were hard to get him to do anything. To make a long story short he didn't like me having friends and when I went out with them on the weekend before my birthday it really p*ssed him off. The next weekend he left in the middle of the night after a late phone call from her and was gone all night. Then a week later she came and spent the night and that was it for me. I made plans and transferred out here with the company I was working for at the time and the rest is history. You CAN do this. Been there, done that and I am far from being as young as you are.
Life is short and you should be happy. | |
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| What should I do..?
Posted: 1/1/2009 6:40:00 PM |
To be fair, she broke up with me while I still had my job, we broke up about 4 months ago AND YOU'RE STILL LIVING WITH HER???? Sorry, I have no sympathy for you.. You have no ties where you are now.. pack whatever you have in a duffle bag (leave the gaming system there as I suspect that's why she broke up with you) and move to Alberta.. There is tons of work there... Grow up.. Move On.. Good luck... BTW.. Even working at McDonalds is a job.. you're just lazy and she knows it. | |
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| What should I do..?
Posted: 1/1/2009 6:41:42 PM | OP, have you thought about what you want to do with your life? What are your goals? Your ambitions? What about college or a trade school? What about moving from where you are to another part of the country to attend school? I am a big believer in getting an education and taking out loans to pay for it (because ultimately they can never take the knowledge you learn away from you). Go to school and work part-time, lots of people do it. Live at the school in a dorm, make friends and share an apartment.
People have given you some good advice is in this thread - the first is to stop sleeping in the same bed with your ex. The sooner you can move out the sooner you will be on your way to healing.
Best of luck to you. | |
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| What should I do..?
Posted: 1/1/2009 10:18:56 PM | So, let me get this straight:
You are not working.
You spend three hours a day playing video games.
You "look" for work online, at home on your a$$ on the computer.
You won't sleep on the couch because it would be "uncomfortable".
And your ex is supporting you.
Did it ever occur to you that if you actually got a job and your own place your ex might start to respect you and think of taking you back??
As it is I can understand exactly why she wouldn't have anything to do with you and would leave you alone until 4:00 in the morning. She doesn't respect you because it seems like you don't think much for yourself-- otherwise you'd require more of yourself.
Sorry, it sounds mean but t's the sad truth but women don't respect men who don't do much with themselves. | |
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| What should I do..?
Posted: 1/1/2009 10:57:26 PM | http://www.recruiting.forces.gc.ca/html/index.aspx?lang=en
Tomorrow! | |
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| What should I do..?
Posted: 1/2/2009 12:31:43 AM | | You need to get your shit together before you can ever be date material again. Take care of yourself first. It is over and accept that. It is not mutual so get over it and move on. It sucks but you are just prolonging your heart ache. | |
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| What should I do..?
Posted: 1/2/2009 5:19:45 AM | I agree with the above poster. You've been broken up for 4 months you need to leave her home NOW>
Sell whatever you have to get a downpayment for a room to rent, bus ticket or whatever you need to get out of there. It is not fair to expect her to provide you with housing anymore. She is not your Mother or even your friend any longer.
You have no plans on learning to drive? How on earth do you plan on looking for a job with no transportation forever? Do you plan on being a childless, video game playing commuter your whole life? How long are you going to live like a child? I think your Ex has traded you in for an adult. Join the service, otherwise you''ll be wearing a paper hat for the rest of your life you need to grow up. | |
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