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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 4/1/2009 8:46:52 AM | Hi princesxxx! Maybe we can go for a coffee or drinks sometime and talk a bit. TTYL
OK, my first post on this site. I have not read all the posts up to this one so sorry if some of this is double quoted . Mind, Body and Soul ...Being upfront and truthful . If the chemistry is there, why lie.  On the other hand, man will need to lie if his track record is poor  , Mind Body and Soul needing to be redirected and reprogrammed. Women in general need an emotional bond to their partner before engauging in sexual activities. Men tend to want sex .........then.... lets see what happens after. To everyone, "Have A Great Day!"  | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 4/1/2009 9:24:57 AM | I think everyone wants to be intamate. Right ??
Some folks are more uptight about bringing it up , sooooo you can easily be misunderstood and lumped into the same catagory as every man who has been dishonest about it in the past . Best to just let it happen !
If you have to ask for it or ask if it's in the cards. why bother ??
Are there realy men out there who want to have sex with a woman who doesn't realy want them ?? I am waaaaaaay to fookin proud for that !
Or men who sleep with women you know someone else has touched recently ?? Nasty ! | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 4/1/2009 1:23:43 PM | This is such a weird subject because I've met women who got all offended when they learned I wanted sex, then I've also met women who liked the prelude and the courtship and romancing. It's like the ones who got offended expected me to be more up-front about it, as if I lead them to conclude I just liked them as a friend. They made that decision, not me. Obviously they didn't pay too much attention to other things I was saying or doing. Then they're like; "Oh my god, how dare you!!" -- WTF?!?
It seems some women would rather actually have a guy be right up-front and some do not. These women must be used to that approach and have come to expect men to be right up front. I was brought-up to be a gentleman, however I have spent my share of time with the less lady-like women also. I know what I prefer. I'd say what I prefer is someone who is lady-like, however, also more down to earth and humble. Not high maintenance or wild and crazy. The "up-front" types seem to also be the ones who never really settle into anything long-term. That's just my opinion, based on my various experiences.
The other type seems to expect more before going there. They consider it rude for a man to be so forward. They are of a different "class" from the above. This I can actually attest to. There definitely is a difference in the level of sophistication between these ladies and the above mentioned *chicks*. It's really more about morals, ethics, principals and values. I've been with both, and found more success with the more lady-like women. At least in terms of long term relationships. The more *raw* women, tend to be better for the short term or one night stands. These women tend to have been around much more and really don't care much about the romancing or the courtship stuff. That can be nice at times too, however, not if I'm considering something long-term.
Mike | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 4/1/2009 6:43:14 PM | | I can't believe ur asking us if we want to be played???? No we don't want to be played would you??? Why would we want to go with a guy, for him to treat us nice, have sex with him cause we really like him and then dump us! r u kidding me???? | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 4/2/2009 9:19:50 AM | Well...
On one hand just be up front that way if all you want is sex it's out in the open.
But on that same note the least guys could do is even feign interest in the person they are trying to bone it will get you a lot farther than just explaining "wanna do it" | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 4/2/2009 9:23:17 AM | Well...
On one hand just be up front that way if all you want is sex it's out in the open.
But on that same note the least guys could do is even feign interest in the person they are trying to bone it will get you a lot farther than just explaining "wanna do it" | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 4/2/2009 11:22:31 AM | | Yeah but Beggar's Can't Be Choosers. For example, if a hot, attractive woman went up to a guy and said "want to have sex?", the guy will say "HELL YES!!!" instantly. If it was the other way around, if a Man went up to a hot ,attractive woman, and said "want to have sex?", she will say no and probably slap him. Because no straight guy will ever say no to sex. Do you think woman make us guys work hard to get sex from them because of the unfair double-standard we have? If a woman sleeps around, she is a slut, if a man sleeps around, he is a stud. Is that why? | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 4/2/2009 12:06:26 PM | This is a false dichotomy.
most women would prefer if a guy goes through the charade of acting interested in a long term relationship [...] instead of saying right out that he wants to have sex with them.
First off, I think most people, men and women, want sex - with the right person. Second, if a woman is looking for an LTR, the last thing she wants is for a guy to lie to her to get in her pants with no intention of continuing the relationship.
There are a couple of bad presumptions in the OP. One, that the only goal of all men is sex. Two, that the only goal of all women is LTR and/or that if women do only want sex, they still want you to pretend it's an LTR.
I think the best policy all around is honesty. If you're a guy, and you're only looking for sex, be upfront about it. You'll find plenty of women willing to go along for the ride. You won't, however, be able to have sex with any woman you want, because some of them don't want NSA sex. | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 4/9/2009 4:39:00 PM | | Sex is very important to men just as it is to many women. If a man is truly interested in a woman I believe it is good to know just how compatible you two really are and sexual compatibility is top on the prioity list and is very important in a relationship. I guess I am one of the few that would rather have a man just come out and say what he feels instead of playing games. Life is too short for games just be honest. No one should criticize anyone else for being honest. | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 4/9/2009 8:18:41 PM | | first you have to look at the differences in how most men and women think. Most men are logical/anylitical, whereas most women are emotional thinkers. So no a woman doesn't want a guy, no matter how gorgeous, to approach them with hey ya wanna? They want the illusion of romance, even if they know that there is no possibility of anything long term. Now what i mean is approach her at the bar and compliment her looks/dancing. Buy her a drink, not a shot. Oh and keep her away from her friends, unless they are dressed way nastier than the other girls in the bar. If you maintain physical contact, arm brushes, hair touching, things that insinuate sex not a relationship, hand holding. You can get the point across without say it. I personally want a "long term" thing, but would still hook up in the mean time. And like most women, i feel that you could develop long term out of a one night stand. So no don't lie to me, but you don't have to walk up and say you wanna f-k. | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 4/9/2009 10:47:53 PM | Ok, here's my take on this...neither.
Women already know men want sex.
I seriously doubt there's a woman alive that didn't figure this out on her own the moment she started getting boobs. So really there's no need to tell a woman you are dating that you want sex. Stating the obvious just makes you look weak, desperate, ignorant, or all of the above.
Lieing about not wanting sex is no better.
She's either going to wonder if you are gay, or just how stupid you think she is? It's also a very bad habit (starting off a new relationship with lies). Save it for the traffic cops...at least he won't be wondering if you are gay....just how stupid you think he is.
No, the best solution, in my humble opinion, is to use the introduction time wisely. If a woman is willing to go on repeat dates, then chances are she hasn't totally ruled out sex with you. That's not to say she's ready to hop into bed with you, or that she's even considering it...just that she hasn't ruled it out as impossible.
Hint: Keep her talking about herself! Everyone loves feeling like they are interesting and the less you talk the less likely you are to say something that blows up in your face.
Like it or not, dating is a game. Women are waiting to hear and see something that makes you a worthwhile investment of their time. And men typically have a set amount of time they are willing to wait for a more physical exchange before they move on.
Often times a good connection is a matter of luck it seems. She's horny enough to round the bases quickly and he's lucky enough not to stick his foot in his mouth before the homerun. | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 4/10/2009 1:50:51 PM | Well.....it seems when I posed virtually the same question....I got this response..as if I am just supposed to tolerate being lie to for sex,because that's how it's done nowadays.I was trying to defend women's rights to infomed consent in regards to having sex with women who have been played for it.Seems I was WAY off base to some.I thought I had a valid complaint and question.Why do men lie to get laid?
Guess not.Time to pull up my Big Girl Panties......and stop expecting anything resembling conscience or emotional obligation from SOME men.Let alone personal responsibility for thier ease at play9ing heart strings to get what they want, or I will be bullied out of the forum. Oh....and THIS response.....was from a WOMAN.Not a man.
Which completely shocked me to say the least.I thought WOMEN were the fairer sex.
And when I mentioned that I had a history of being exploited by men for sex and molested as a child.........she even was kind enough to pull out the VIOLIN,and inform me that I was seeking a pity party.Nice.
I wrote........
<div class="quote">Not once in my sexual past,did I ever have sex with a man who didn't ACT like he wanted more than sex...until he got it.Sorry. I truly believe, that most of that bemoaning is VALID.
closer2u- you want some cheese with that whine?
So this is why you have such distain for str8 males? wow, you have more issues than newsweek... ugh Are you a grown woman or a high school kid? *yikes* your incessant bytchfest is getting tired...
Newsflash: You can choose for YOURSELF when or if to have sex... If you have no self control, fall for sweet nothings in your ear, then spread it fast n easy like velveeta that's on YOU... can't blame a man for that.. keep your stuff on lock until you establish trust...
No need to rant and whine about deception etc.. Do men lie to get sex? hell yah..It's called game.. But:
Do you have to lay down and be lil miss gullible and believe whatever a man tells you?
Then duh is you..hahah
Some men will game - but most women are perceptive enough to take the time to know the difference between a man who is sincere and one who is out for the drawers....
FYI: Men get played for their cash too...people lie and manipulate to get what they want. Thats life.. people need to take charge of their own lives and learn from past mistakes.... Some men get taken over and over ..like some women get played over n over.....
Personal responsibility much?
Sorry I chose not to attend your pity party.....
Sucks to be you, eh? sounds like you got rode hard and put away wet.. You got played, we get it.. put on your big girl panties, learn from past mistakes and grow up..
Needless to say..........I was floored.And really hurt by this response.So ladies...
If you have a problem with men lying to you about what they want.......it seems that's just tough luck.If a man plays with a woman's emotions and gives her the sense that he wants a relationship with her....and lays the groundwork,and pretends that he CARES about her leading up to sex,and then has it....and then bails,I'd call that a LOVE FRAUD.com.
And yes.....they exist.And they are generally considered Sociopaths. So be warned ladies...I have NO PROBLEM with straight Men with Consciences.I LOVE MEN....and sex.....and have resolved my past...am new to the dating scene after 25 years with one man...and after reading that I have to ask...IS IT ME?...What I DO take issues with is men who DON'T think anything of exploiting our FEELINGS....to get in our pants.
And there is NO knowing who is TRUSTWORTHY and who isn't with our feelings......until AFTER the act and FACT.I don't have a DAMN crystal ball EITHER!
I love sex as much as the NEXT MAN......or woman...what I don't LOVE...is the "GAME".And if potentially being played is my only option.....then I guess going without sex.....is too.
Call me a whinner with issues.......I have a VOICE....and a RIGHT to use it...without being BASHED for it.Especially not by a woman with an agenda. | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 4/10/2009 2:08:43 PM | Lie to me, tell me you love me, baby!
I appreciate a man who tells me straight on what he is about. Then I can decide wether or not I continue to converse with him. It becomes MY choice, to have sex with someone who ONLY wants sex, not his.
That's my opinion, and around here opinions vary.
~Leah | |
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