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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 1/1/2009 11:37:39 PM |
What I said was that if enough women don't "put out" when men are honest many men will lie to get what they want. That's different.
So it our fault for not putting out when a man wants to have sex with us that men choose to lie to get what they want.
Thank you so much for explaining that to me.....(extreme sarcasm)
If a man wants to get laid that bad...what is preventing him from picking up and calling an escort to service him? That is their job and nobody gets hurt. Oh I know...why pay for what you can take from someone else with lies....hurt women and blame women getting hurt on their desire not to sleep with you. Makes perfect sense to me...again, typed with extreme sarcasm. | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 1/2/2009 12:30:12 AM | {I think} There are lots of people who are open to casual sex.. There is absolutely NO reason to play anyone.. If a guy/gal knows that they will not be wanting anything closely resembling a committed relationship anytime soon.. then the honourable thing to do is to bring that up when you see that there is a mutual attraction and make sure that both are on the same page from the get go... Knowing upfront allows for informed decisions and intelligent handling of the "relationship" Most of these threads from confused women wouldn't exist when the guy does "the fade" if the women knew it was inevitable.
It doesn't matter if a profile reads longterm, friends, dating, or IE... most women still want to be courted... with honesty... putting it out there without having even met, or after one email takes away the essence of "courting" .. and therefore results (I think) in why many women turn down those men who are "upfront" | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 1/2/2009 8:26:39 AM | No one likes being lied to, buddy.
Yeah guys who are just out for sex and say so may get rejected a lot... boo freakin' hoo. It's not like dating is easy for any of us.
Sometimes a guy may end things early and I suspect that he was never that into me to begin with. Sometimes the situation is so ambiguous that I'm not sure whether I should direct a lot of anger at him, but I wind up feeling pretty terrible about myself anyhow. So if in these cases the guy knew ahead of time he wasn't looking for anything serious I really wish he'd told me.
But I think realistically, what most women are looking for are longterm relationships. So maybe guys who are also looking for that will have the easiest time with dating. *shrug*
And for the record, there have been guys I have been willing to just hook up with, but when I felt like they were trying to be romantic (to, I don't know, get more from me or something) I wound up pretty confused and not at all pleased with the situation. | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 1/2/2009 5:05:29 PM |
I read OP's profile and like a lot of pictureless profiles they want the intimate encounter with minimum involvement. You should add a picture to truly say that you are honest about what you are after...
If men would be more upfront about what they define dating as.. then maybe it would cut down on the broken hearts threads by women wondering why guys poof after the first time they get laid...
My profile is pretty honest, and in it I say I'm open to more than one thing. Plus what would a picture add about what I'm looking for? I don't understand that one. | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 1/2/2009 5:18:34 PM | | No I'd much rather someone was honest with me in a cool way. However, I don't think men really want a woman to only be interested in sex with them. You see, even if that's all they want with you, they can't get off unless you want more from them. It's an ego thing. Users don't like it when the shoe is on the other foot. | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 1/2/2009 5:20:13 PM | | A picture would help because it would define whether or not you were mr awesomeone... an intimate encounter best be damn hot... As for the rest of your garbage? Are you not able to understand English? If you lie..you're hurting someone for nothing.. if you're being honest about just wanting sex, and you get turned down, it's because the woman in question DOES NOT WANT TO JUST SCREW AROUND. Most women with any sort of looks, don't need a computer to get laid. The ones that choose to use the computer for such, are likely looking for more diverse partners than they've found thus far... The ones that are looking for something of substance... are looking for JUST THAT. Jesus...1+1=2 No matter HOW you try to segment it.... | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 1/2/2009 5:46:15 PM | just to play devils advocate for a moment:
-just how many women (after meeting a new absolute hot intriging great smelling guy) are dying to tear off his clothes and do naughty things? 
-now, should she keep it to herself or say something? | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 1/2/2009 5:50:52 PM |
Reading many of the threads over the last few weeks I get the impression that most women would prefer if a guy goes through the charade of acting interested in a long term relationship with them, taking them out and not broaching the subject of sex instead of saying right out that he wants to have sex with them. Is this what women really want? Why? I don't think I could lie like that whatever women say, but I'm interested in your thoughts on this.
My thought is your perception of what the women are writing is not what they are actually saying.
Women that are looking for long term or wanting to date with the hope of long term usually don’t want men to speak of sex from the gate nor do they want the man to pretend he wants a long term relationship, not preferring one over the other as you are suggesting. Sex will or should be a natural progression of the "relationship" no forcing, no begging and no harping of the subject.
Most of these women want the man to be up front either way. However, the man that simply states, “I’m not looking for anything serious” as opposed to “Hey baby, wanna f***?” might get a different level of response. Depending on the woman they just might both get the reliable and equal reaction of read/block/delete.
The key here is not to lie. Most of the women looking for a relationship would like to form at least somewhat of a bond before “putting out”, whether that takes a day, a couple of days, a week, a month or so is different depending on the interaction of the couple. I would think that most women responding to an “IE” profile/email would be fully aware sex will be on the table front and center and not be put off by the quick approach. It is the women looking for a relationship that usually gets annoyed by this as…..
A) It isn’t what she is looking for on her profile.
B) Guy must not have bothered to read the profile.
C) Guy read profile, but somehow thinks he is the one and only “stud” on the planet that can change her mind and meet him at a hotel in 30 minutes..
In my opinion none of these methods are “preferred” by the women looking for a “long term relationship“.
***Disclaimer*** Experiences may vary from individual to individual.
Just to add a note to this …
Another thing that I've noted is that women must realize that the more they reject upfront sexual advances the more men in general will lie about sex. If men think it is almost completely useless to be honest about just wanting sex (because being upfront almost always leads to rejection) many men will continue to be dishonest about what they want. They shouldn't, but many will. And yet women in general continue to automatically reject men who are upfront about wanting sex.
If he is getting rejected by women that are also looking for sex up front there could be another reason he is being rejected.
If he is continuously rejected because he is asking women that aren’t looking for sex up front, that right there is the reason he is being rejected. What it sounds to me that you are describing is a hypocrite. He wants easy sex but doesn’t want it from women that are looking for easy sex. Sounds like some “issue” of thinking women that “put out” at will have diseases or are frankly “sluts” in his mind, but him diving into any open vagina willy-nilly is just being a virile man. He wants a woman to be free, easy and a slut with him but heaven forbid she has been with everyone else, too!! They pursue the more “discriminate” woman for safety and some “puritanical” hypocrisy. I also suspect that those with that kind of thought process are the ones that try to scream from the roof tops how women that don’t want to have sex 30 minutes after meeting are controlling, manipulative shrews that attempt to use sex as a weapon. | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 1/2/2009 5:59:37 PM | I prefer that men are always honest. I know I am.
I'm very upfront that I'm uninterested in sexual intimacy until we're married. I make this very clear almost immediately within trading information about the particulars via email. I don't see the point of becoming involved with someone who doesn't understand my point of view. And if his is that he demands sexual intimacy quickly, without marriage, then we will have little reason to proceed to dating. I'm certainly not going to change my mind and I doubt if he'll change his. | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 1/2/2009 7:03:20 PM | Great post blondeblueyed!
If he is continuously rejected because he is asking women that aren’t looking for sex up front, that right there is the reason he is being rejected. What it sounds to me that you are describing is a hypocrite. He wants easy sex but doesn’t want it from women that are looking for easy sex. Sounds like some “issue” of thinking women that “put out” at will have diseases or are frankly “sluts” in his mind, but him diving into any open vagina willy-nilly is just being a virile man. He wants a woman to be free, easy and a slut with him but heaven forbid she has been with everyone else, too!! They pursue the more “discriminate” woman for safety and some “puritanical” hypocrisy. Describes those with Madonna/Whore Complex, perhaps? | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 1/2/2009 8:32:51 PM | The amount of deceptive behavior required just to get a woman in bed is a key reason I decided not to become "a player".
Not only am I not good at lying/deceiving, I also happen to be against it.
This means that hookers are the only way I get laid, but it also means, at the end of the day, that I have less stress/worries and less guilt in my life. | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 1/2/2009 8:44:48 PM | "The amount of deceptive behavior required just to get a woman in bed is a key reason I decided not to become "a player"."
If a woman likes you enough it requires zero effort to get her into bed. Often times, she initiates. (I would know).
You men who believe otherwise need to stop spreading your neurosis all over the internet... | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 1/2/2009 8:53:15 PM | I think most women understand most of us men are horn dogs and want to get laid.
Most women kinda like to get laid too.
The thing is for us guys not to be so friggin overt about it all of the time. Take your time, it will happen sooner rather than later.
What's wrong with waiting for the second date, or third, or fourth, or chit.. even the eighth? Sure I hope it is by the second date, but if I really like the woman, I will wait. The only reason there is a third date is because I like her and want the relationship to develop. And get laid...grin.. eventually.
There will not be a third date if I don't have a sense that the relationship can develop outside of the bedroom too. Believe it or not, as much as I want to get laid, I also want more out of a relationship. | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 1/2/2009 9:10:47 PM | I think most women understand most of us men are horn dogs and want to get laid.
Most women kinda like to get laid too.
The thing is for us guys not to be so friggin overt about it all of the time. Take your time, it will happen sooner rather than later.
What's wrong with waiting for the second date, or third, or fourth, or chit.. even the eighth? Sure I hope it is by the second date, but if I really like the woman, I will wait. The only reason there is a third date is because I like her and want the relationship to develop. And get laid...grin.. eventually.
You really don't get it. Men in general do not want to go out on a few dates with a woman they just want to have sex with. You sound like you are like me in often wanting just sex yet go through the charade of dating in order to get it. I really despise that. I think that way men are likely to find themselves relationships in which they are not truly into the woman. It is often in situations like that that women get mistreated.
At some point upon meeting/seeing a woman before it turns sexual (perhaps even upon merely reading her online profile) men realize whether or not there is romantic potential there. I think this usually happens sooner rather than later. And at that point men have a duty to say either they just want to have sex, some other non-romantic relationship, or no relationship at all. (This, by the way, doesn't mean there is anything wrong with the woman; all it means is that she doesn't seem right for him.) | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 1/2/2009 9:17:11 PM | I usually can tell right away by how they talk to me. Most people that want a LTR have enough respect for that, that they do not even go there in conversations either in text or live speech.
Some examples:
I have been talking to someone for a couple months and it hasn't come up.
However...
I have spoken with fish in this pond and by the second message there some sly reference slid in there...(see it's easy). One guy got up to the first date and before we were going to meet, he said, "I'm only interested in FWB." I told him thanks for his honesty and I didn't go meet him.
I've also taken dudes home from the club... (yeah... it's been done  )
I've also asked for honesty, "Do you want to take me out or hang out?"
"What's the difference?" he plays dumb.
"If you take me out, we go in public and do something. If we hang out, we stay in and do something."
"Ughhh...Aummmmm...." he ponders and weighs the benefits. He decides he wants immediate satisfaction, "hhhanng out?!"
"Okay," she answers slightly disappointed but it's been awhile and he was cute and a good dancer (yeah, high standards  ) .
Time passes... Third "date" (and last according to my rules)
"Hey, you want to go out tomorrow night?" he asks her.
Stumped and confused, "I thought you only wanted to 'hang out'?"
"Yeah, but you're cool and I like hanging out with you. Let's go out," he explains.
"Ahhh.... no," she replies.
No third "date"
See... sometimes they need to be careful what they ask for. | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 1/2/2009 9:19:49 PM |
You really don't get it. Men in general do not want to go out on a few dates with a woman they just want to have sex with. You sound like you are like me in often wanting just sex yet go through the charade of dating in order to get it. I really despise that. I think that way men are likely to find themselves relationships in which they are not truly into the woman. It is often in situations like that that women get mistreated.
Look, if your goal in life is just to get laid, just tell the woman that upfront. I suspect your going to meet the palm sisters an awful lot.
Any woman I date, I do so as a potential for a relationship. I never have gone to bed with her the first time, but probably 80% the second, 95% by the third and there have been very, very few that took longer than the fourth.
The point is not that I get laid when I go out with a woman, the point is that I truly am interested only in a relationship, and do not want to hop from bed to bed. Getting laid comes naturally then, as most women want a relationship also.
You mow your lawn your way, I'll mow it mine. | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 1/2/2009 9:26:40 PM | Didn't read all the posts because I just want to say my opinion and not be clouded by what others write.
If a women gets played that is her problem.........I have been stupid and been played, not for sex, but have been played. I think most of us have. Some are much easier to play than others. I myself am not easily played since I have gotten older. I try to take people from what I see, but I also use common sense when dealing with people. If a man seems too good to be true........well he is probably lying to you or he really is and will still be good with time.
If someone lies...........well that is on them. Both men and women lie to get what they want when it comes to the other sex. Some women will say........."oh, I don't want a serious relationship either", but secretly hopes that after screwing him he will want to be her prince charming...........and when he isn't she will say she was lied to. Just like some men will promise to be prince charming and then after sex turns into the black knight. Everyone lies..............we all say things we don't always mean when it comes to the opposite sex. JMHO | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 1/2/2009 9:40:59 PM |
Look, if your goal in life is just to get laid, just tell the woman that upfront. I suspect your going to meet the palm sisters an awful lot.
Any woman I date, I do so as a potential for a relationship. I never have gone to bed with her the first time, but probably 80% the second, 95% by the third and there have been very, very few that took longer than the fourth.
The point is not that I get laid when I go out with a woman, the point is that I truly am interested only in a relationship, and do not want to hop from bed to bed. Getting laid comes naturally then, as most women want a relationship also.
You mow your lawn your way, I'll mow it mine.
Men who are upfront do get the "palm sisters" a lot. That is a problem, for reasons I've already explained.
So from what you've said it seem that at the very least you aren't short on meeting women you are genuinely interested in for LTRs. Well, that is not true for me. I can't date just anybody. (In fact, I suspect most men are really like me but deny it to themselves just so that they have a clear conscience.) And since I can't just date anybody, and there are a lot of women I would want to have sex with without the prospect of a relationship, I'm going to often find myself in situations in which I want to have sex with a woman but not a long term relationship, and I'm going to be honest about that instead of going through the charade of dating. | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 1/3/2009 6:59:56 AM | Well, I will only speak for myself, but I would never want a man to lie or put on a charade just to get sex from me. That is BS!
I was "played" once. Key word, "ONCE". Funny how quickly one learns the signs/clues/rules to that game!!
Nope, I don't get in line for that game ~ but if a guy asked me if I wanted to play naked twister on the first date, well, he would be being honest about his intentions...and I would be able to be honest about my response, "No"
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 1/3/2009 7:07:57 AM | Shoe fits on both feet...Ive been dumped once she gets what she wants...wether it be six months or a night...just thickens the shell thats all....while I keep any meetings to a minimal from any of these sights...the human interests get the best of me...lol.I do meet some interesting woman and as usuall the ones that want to date regularly arent my cup of tea...ones I like...well...You know...lol... | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 1/3/2009 9:04:40 AM |
I can't date just anybody. (In fact, I suspect most men are really like me but deny it to themselves just so that they have a clear conscience.)
Why does this even matter when all you are looking for is sex are there all of a sudden "high standards" for just wanting sex?? There are plenty of women out there as well as men just looking for sex, if you are getting rejected by them as well then the problem isn’t you just wanting sex. It is either you aren’t “appealing” to these women or as I said previously you have a complex about wanting to just have sex with women who don’t just want to have sex. There are also women in the profession, that's a sure thing, no muss, no fuss but that goes back to the complex doesn't it? So much for others being in a state of “denial”. | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 1/3/2009 9:13:24 AM | Awesome, you seem to be arguing that it's your right to have sex, as long as you're honest about it. It's not. It's nice, but if you don't have sex because a woman doesn't want to JUST have sex with you, and you have to masturbate, most other humans understand that that is just the way it goes sometimes. Sex with a partner is probably preferable for most people, but it's not a right. Even if you're an honest horn-dog.
=================
VVV Super, you need to read again, and with comprehension. | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 1/3/2009 9:30:03 AM | WOW........ I read a lot of the replies to this question and I think a bunch of women really didn't read the question. Most of them answered the part about men wanting sex. lol I don't get why women have such a hard time dealing with this. MEN WANT SEX and women want it as bad as men but most times won't admit it. One woman wrote about having sex up front and then being kicked to the curb. Well she should sharpen her bed room skills and the men will start coming back for more. I put it right up front in my profile and I think it is a subject that should be addressed right away. | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 1/3/2009 10:05:18 AM | ^^^ Uhm.. the question was do we want men to lie to us (or, pretend, or not disclose that they DON'T want a longterm relationship) just to get us to have sex with them.. It's a given that most women like sex just as much as most men.
One woman wrote about having sex up front and then being kicked to the curb. Well she should sharpen her bed room skills and the men will start coming back for more. I guess is would never cross your mind that perhaps the man in this scenerio is a serial hit and runner.. with those types.. it's the chase n' conquer that gets them off more than any "skill" the woman may have..
I put it right up front in my profile and I think it is a subject that should be addressed right away With this man's attitude.. this here is most likely why most women stay away from men who post in their profile they're just looking for sex.. It's because of the ATTITUDE of the men with this mindset. Granted, and as mentioned, most women do want sex.. however; most women DON'T want to be a part of a harem... (nor do they want a harem of their own) | |
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