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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 1/3/2009 10:18:16 AM |
this woman......prefers honesty.
If you're only out for sex.....tell me that......I'll decide if that's all I want.....or not and let u know accordingly!
What Ms Micki said!!
I'm not opposed to a sex only relationship, but don't lie to me about it. If you want to date me and work towards a long term thing.. great. Just don't tell me you want that when you only really just want sex. Makes me grumpy and it won't get you laid by me. | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 1/3/2009 12:39:14 PM | | The issue is HOW women want sex. For many men, sex is merely lust and is mechanical and animalistic, one step up from expelling waste. For many women, sex is romantic and required wooing and expression of undying affectiton. Learning her "love language" is essential, and it requires time to get to know her. Just saying "I only want you for sex" is hardly a romantic gesture, and shows that you're lazy and not willing to put the time and work in to get to know her. She might INDEED be a sexual dynamo, once you get in touch with her feelings! | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 1/3/2009 1:07:27 PM | | Don't know about the guy who started this thread, but I am of the opinion women are as much of a sexual being as men. If you are straight up from the word go, more than likely you won't have a problem. You will just have to find somebody who shares your idea of a good time. | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 1/3/2009 1:15:21 PM | Absolutely NOT! Im interested in a long term relationship and said so on my profile. I discovered very recently that my middle name should be "Gullible". I do love sex and think that it is a very important part of a good relationship. But I have been misled "Lied to". I was also made to feel that I was acting in a childish, silly way by asking to wait for sex. The pressure I felt under was overwhelming. Well, finally the message has got through and I'll just have to be a silly frigid child for all future dates. Sorry guys but one or two players out there are ruining things for the rest of you. Ive read on these forums that women are fed up with this. And I would love to name and shame but Im also to blame for being a silly fool. 
Please, please DONT LIE. There are plenty of ladies who are interested in casual sex and thats fine. Or is it all part of the game to see how many women you can persuade!
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 1/3/2009 2:19:16 PM |
I don't get why women have such a hard time dealing with this. MEN WANT SEX and women want it as bad as men but most times won't admit it. Super1 I actually think you don't get it. We understand that men want sex, we also know that women want sex. BUT!! women who are looking for a relationship don't want to be lied to by a man who only wants to offload, but pretends to want a relationship just so he can offload.
Also by the way that i've heard men describe their "need" for sex, i don't think that woman (in general) "need" it as much as men. We enjoy it (a lot) with men we care for, but for most of us it is not an such overwhelming need that we will have sex with anybody just to satiate it (like many men will). So for most women your assumption that women want it as bad as men just doesn't cut it. Mind you that can be very different once in a relationship where there are feelings involved.
And frankly most women do NOT get off on the idea of being used for a disposable sperm receptacle. And that is more or less what the OP is suggesting some men do. Find a woman... Tell her they want a relationship (lie).... then fvck her and get rid of her, (no matter how good it was) because they never wanted more than someone to offload into in the first place..
I hope you are not suggesting that we should enjoy being thought of like that.. | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 1/3/2009 3:10:49 PM | OP ,, I personally do not believe women likes to get played. Part of what you said makes no since to me,, why would someone act, to like someone,, it it for sex,,, I see no point in that, I would rather have sex with someone I like,, but that's just me..
Any woman that I have ever met knows I like sex, or better said, I have a very sexual personality,, , I have no choice, it's my personality and I like it that way,, however, I'm respectful as well. I don't hide it, I embrace it, so yes a woman know that about me up front,, as she will learn other things, if I haven't scared her off, I'd say, most like the honesty,, as for the others,, their choice,,
Don't mistake what I'm saying as I'm looking for a one night stand, far from it,, | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 1/3/2009 3:19:12 PM |
women would prefer if a guy goes through the charade of acting interested
Umm...not a chance! If he's having to act out interest, I don't want it. If all he wants is to meet the kitty just once, he needs to say it loud and proud and suffer whatever consequences come his way. He may get a lil, he may not. | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 1/3/2009 3:24:47 PM | At the risk of sounding spineless or setting off BS-detectors, I doubt I myself would bring up the subject of sex in a new relationship until she brings it up herself. (No pun intended. :D)
I wouldn't want her to think all I wanted was sex. | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 1/3/2009 3:34:49 PM | shiny
No BS here, that is exactly why, I don't hide my personality, For some reason I'm able to get away with it ,, so to speak,,
I feel if I can talk about sitting by a nice fire, or going water skiing, what I do with my son,, my work, the topic of sex is not taboo, ( sure we need to be graceful, respectful, non vulgar etc.) neither the less it is an activity that two people share, ,,,,,, I feel dating is about sharing information,, the more the better, that saves on a lot bull crap, as well as someone will never be able to say, hey your not the man I first met,, because I do, I act, the same in most all occasions,, this is just me,, and I truly like being my self.. | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 1/3/2009 3:37:08 PM | I don't think men have to lie on this issue. Most women know that men want sex, whether they want a relationship or not. That's just a given.
However, the only way to tell if men want more then just sex, is to see if he's interested in doing other things with you, besides just the bedroom. If his focus keeps going back to sex only, then that's probably all he's looking for right now. There's nothing wrong with that, if you just want a sexual relationship too, but if you want more, then I do think it's wise for a woman to make sure he's interested in doing other things besides just bedroom activities all the time.
It doesn't mean you have to "wait" forever on sex all the time with those you date. It just depends on what you're looking for as a woman. If you want sex, then have sex. If you want more then sex, then at least discuss that before hand with someone you're interested in. Men aren't idiots. They know most of us want more then sex. Some may lie to get us into bed sooner, but even that doesn't mean they don't want a relationship. Sometimes, it just means, they "hope" for sex sooner then later.
However if you want to be absolutely 100% sure he's not just in it for the sex, then hold off on the sex for awhile and see if he sticks around or not. I've made this mistake myself. Sex too soon, can sabotage things. So now, I prefer to wait a bit. (not forever, mind you! I do enjoy sex quite a bit after all) | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 1/3/2009 3:58:37 PM | You don't have to lie to get sex...
The funny thing is that getting laid is not that difficult...
It's only difficult when you make it so...
My method of choice has been to go out, make friends, be charming and funny. Be myself... And enjoy life.... don't act like a pompous ass, and don't act like a doormat.
The funny thing about that is that by doing that, women WANT to be with me... I don't have to lie, trick, cajole, swindle or con them...
Let's face it, if you had to lie to get laid, or trick them, then you're admitting to yourself, that you can't get a woman honestly. It's like admitting you're less than a man bacause you cannot seduce a woman properly. Seduction is not trickery... nor is it lying to them, it's about being desirable to a woman in your own right. Anything less than that, you might as well go buy a hooker...
Women were never designed to be disposable... Neither were men. At the same time so many men are trying to make women feel like they are disposable, they don't see that they are also making themsleves disposable too... Convince women all their lives that all they're good for is a quick fling, and you might find there are no women who want to settle down when you're ready to. You've already shown them, they don't need men...
If I'm interested in long term then it shows by the way I act. I don't declare it. Nor fake it... If I was not interested in long term then I made it clear by the way I acted.
I've treated women the same as I want to be treated. Sure, sometimes it's a pain in the ass to do somethings I'm not 100% into doing. But so what? If more guys made an effort when they weren't 100% into an idea or a person, maybe they would get more fun out of life anyway.
All too often guys don't want to make an effort, they just want immediate gratification like it's an entitlement. Too much effort to have a relationship so they want F/B's or FWB's claiming they don't have (time/ patience/ money/ etc) for a relationship.
Yet, they'd work harder to go get a case of beer...
I get laid ALL the time.... See, I'm in a relationship where all I have to do to get laid is look reasonably interested. Or awake...or have a pulse.... in fact anytime....
Why does she want to have sex with me so often? Simple....Because I don't think it's an effort or too much work to keep her happy. I make her feel she's appreciated... and she is...
Anyway, my rant for now is over.... | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 1/3/2009 4:19:52 PM | Why does this even matter when all you are looking for is sex are there all of a sudden "high standards" for just wanting sex?? There are plenty of women out there as well as men just looking for sex, if you are getting rejected by them as well then the problem isn’t you just wanting sex. It is either you aren’t “appealing” to these women or as I said previously you have a complex about wanting to just have sex with women who don’t just want to have sex. There are also women in the profession, that's a sure thing, no muss, no fuss but that goes back to the complex doesn't it? So much for others being in a state of “denial”.
I'm open for and looking for more too.
It's irrelevant whether there are "plenty" of women who are just looking for sex. What matters is how many women are just looking for sex compared to men who are looking just for sex, and where I live there is huge imbalance in this.
I don't get why so many women are on my case. I am the admirable one, I think, and most men are the opposite. As I said before:
At some point upon meeting/seeing a woman before it turns sexual (perhaps even upon merely reading her online profile) men realize whether or not there is romantic potential there. I think this usually happens sooner rather than later. And at that point men have a duty to say either they just want to have sex, some other non-romantic relationship, or no relationship at all. (This, by the way, doesn't mean there is anything wrong with the woman; all it means is that she doesn't seem right for him.)
But, especially if they find the woman very attractive, most men don't. (Since most women would automatically reject them if they said they just wanted sex, I can understand why they do this, but that doesn't make it right.) I am the honest one who is standing up for treating women respectfully by being honest with them about what I want (whether that be a LTR or just sex), while most men would play along hoping for sex. Even if they don't ditch the woman after sex they're still in the relationship for the wrong reasons, and that is not the kind of thing that makes for a solid foundation for a lasting, loving relationship. | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 1/3/2009 4:58:37 PM | Anyone please quick question cos im a newbie here wot please does FWB's or F/B stand for? not trying to be clever or funny really cant work them out?
Anyways Awesome all im trying to say is I agree its fine to say up front that you are interested in Sex not a LTR (got that one). Its the lying and deceiving that is wrong. Also the making a woman feels theres something wrong with her if she does say NO! to sex on a first or second date, or however many dates.
And the pressure put on a woman to have sex.
I'd admit freely that Im vulnerable at the moment and that Ive been out of the dating scene for a long time. Why has every experience at dating, and mainly the last one via POF been so hurtful.
Why does anyone be it a man or a woman feel the need to hurt another person.
I dont understand, as I said before maybe Im just very nieve or gullible.
Dont hurt people there is really no need to do that. What possible gratification can there be for anyone to do so?
Players out there please understand that all women are someones daughter/sister/mother and how would you feel if someone treated yours in that way!
Thats all | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 1/3/2009 5:20:58 PM | thank you Dare To got it. benefits I presume means of a sexual nature
Anyways been reading your posting and have to say that you really are one of the most sensible posters Ive read on here. Keep it up young lady, you make a hell of a lot of sense and you've been saying things that I havent been able to express, so thanks babe.
XX
Colleen
ps. Awesome pic of you and the bike!
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 1/3/2009 5:57:42 PM | | Woman KNOW what MEN want, they are just in denial. The reality is a lot of guys want to get laid AND have a relationship, but since woman make it so damn complicated we have to come up with ways to get laid. It's hormones. | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 1/3/2009 6:38:17 PM |
If I was not interested in long term then I made it clear by the way I acted. If you're showing a woman interest by having attraction and are coming onto her sexually and you have sex with her. how is that "making it clear by the way you acted" that you were'nt interested in long term... Now I understand that after you have sex and you do the fade, or anyother cowardly way to back out then that would be clear by the way you've acted that you didn't want long term.. but .. only after you scored.
Without a direct conversation.. I argue you didn't make it clear at all BEFORE having sex.. just by the way you acted. | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 1/3/2009 8:13:48 PM |
Why does she want to have sex with me so often? Simple....Because I don't think it's an effort or too much work to keep her happy. I make her feel she's appreciated... and she is...
Yes, yes, yes, finally another male who gets it. I agree with all you said in your post; I just can't figure it out why so many men think only with their little heads, and so little with their big ones.
It is guys like you and me who get "lucky", except that when our goal is to be in a relationship, it makes it so much more fulfilling, for us and our partners. | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 1/3/2009 8:27:18 PM |
I am the honest one who is standing up for treating women respectfully by being honest with them about what I want (whether that be a LTR or just sex), while most men would play along hoping for sex.
Since you are so up front with the “I am looking to fool around but open to a long term, but willing to just meet and fool around”. How do you think women take that statement? Is it intended to mean just long term sex or long term relationship that includes sex? You do know there is a bit of a difference right? Right???? This sounds to me like your vague way of getting around “lying”. Just when do you decide that the lady is “just fooling around” material or “relationship” material? Do you tell her which category she falls into before or after you have sex?
I don't get why so many women are on my case.
I do, but if you can't take the heat maybe you shouldn't start a fire.
I am the admirable one, I think, and most men are the opposite.
I think quite a few would disagree. | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 1/3/2009 9:06:35 PM |
Since you are so up front with the “I am looking to fool around but open to a long term, but willing to just meet and fool around”. How do you think women take that statement? Is it intended to mean just long term sex or long term relationship that includes sex? You do know there is a bit of a difference right? Right???? This sounds to me like your vague way of getting around “lying”. Just when do you decide that the lady is “just fooling around” material or “relationship” material? Do you tell her which category she falls into before or after you have sex?
I do, but if you can't take the heat maybe you shouldn't start a fire.
I think quite a few would disagree.
I find this very dishonest. My profile says I'm "looking to meet someone to fool around with, yet open to a long term relationship. But I'm willing to just meet and fool around, ongoing perhaps", and I did not just change it. The ambiguity you're referring to is simply not there.
If you give any credence at all to what I've said I'm obviously not going to let a woman know that I don't want a LTR with her after we have sex. | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 1/3/2009 9:18:18 PM |
I find this very dishonest. My profile says I'm "looking to meet someone to fool around with, yet open to a long term relationship.
Now who is being dishonest? You most certainly did change it. No point in even responding to this anymore. | |
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