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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex? Posted: 1/15/2009 8:24:13 PM | Lets me just say this......Desert wildflower you are right. to a degree.....BUT....EVEN BAD SEX IS GOOD FOR MOST MEN...this does not mean that they will get too know or like the woman that had it with......on the other hand...IF YOU GET TO KNOW ONE ANOTHER..I GUARANTEE MOST WOMEN WILL MAKE SURE THE SEX IS GOOD.........it just seems our way, everyone wins | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex? Posted: 1/15/2009 9:21:01 PM | It all depends on how many sources he has for the sex. If he has more than one option, he will probably try whatever is available. Then the one who cooks the best, has the biggest t*ts and gives the best head will probably win his undying love and loyalty. Yeah, right! | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex? Posted: 1/16/2009 5:44:56 AM | Yes that makes sense, especially when you date someone for 6 months and then when things are going great you walk in to her giving head to another guy. Wonderful site when you have never pushed her into anything against her will. But you survive it and go on because not all people can be stereotyped as the same.
Ladies you need too lighten up or you will be alone in the rocking chair on the porch when your 70.
And by the way bad sex is just that. Maybe run or don't come back because that is what it was bad sex. No one wants too live with it the rest of thier lives.
I mean honestly here ladies would you still want the guy if you felt it was bad sex when it happened. Wouls you go back for more. It is PART of the wonderful emotional part of relationship that keeps the fires burning throughout life. | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex? Posted: 1/16/2009 7:31:04 AM | HEY DESERT....I LIKE YOUR THOUGHT PROCESS...YOU ARE FUNNY, GIRLFRIEND.... Read post after your's, there may be hope for him, he used the words emotional,wonderful, and RELATIONSHIP all in the same sentence........All kidding aside, men and woman are just wired differently....do you think THE ALMIGHTY had a reason for this???? OR DID THE DO IT. Just trying too lighten things up people  | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex? Posted: 1/16/2009 7:54:36 AM | Things are light and just a good friendly debate there ANGELEYES. If everyone was the same then life would be more boring than it already can be. All the words that I use I believe in. My problem is that I always meet the ones that are like the bad men. Therefore I don't play thier game.
There's nothing like romance an emotional feelings in a date along with respect for another human being.
Let's face it if you don't respect the person your with, it doesn't matter how good or bad the sex is. And if it doesn't work out between two indivuduals, there is nothing wrong with friends. Of course then it's up too the capabilities of the two indivuduals for that to happen. I have many female friends that would tell you that I'm a great friend. And I haven't even dated them. | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex? Posted: 1/16/2009 8:13:05 AM | Then I raise my glass too you, and put your name on the good list. Respect is what it's all about,I believe that is what most of the women here are trying too say......AND IF WE RESPECT OURSELVES FIRST...then the men we encounter/date/befriend...whatever ,will respect us too....so guys......don't fault us because we respect our bodies,after all it's the only one we have...and if it is beautiful or ugly...big or small..it is the greatest gift we have too give you......VERY EXPENSIVE YOU KNOW....PARTS NO ALWAYS AVAILABLE... | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex? Posted: 1/16/2009 8:17:27 AM |
It all depends on how many sources he has for the sex. If he has more than one option, he will probably try whatever is available. Then the one who cooks the best, has the biggest t*ts and gives the best head will probably win his undying love and loyalty. Yeah, right!
yes, yes, we know..all women 'hate' sex and get no pleasure whatsoever out of it..they only do it to please their partner(s)...
and I have the deed to the Brooklyn Bridge right here..any takers?
funny how most women I have been in a relationship with got more out of sex than I did it seems, multiple screaming orgasms, etc. ..now I like sex but didn't get quite the pleasure out of it that they did..a large part of my pleasure was pleasing them.
let's get real..most women have the capacity to enjoy sex more than most men..and most do, often.
if you don't, there might be underlying physical and/or mental/psychological reasons why not.. menopause could be one of them
AS IF most women would want a man who just wanted to hold hands and talk, and never have sex..?
riiiiiiight...
VVVvv
having the total stranger who happens to be sitting next to you at the pub while you are eating look over and say to you," Hey your`e cute, lets go to my house and fool around. I`m horney and haven`t had it in a while, how about you?" Sorry for some reason, that just doesn`t get me in the mood.
honestly, now..does that REALLY happen to a 48-year old "BBW" very often?
do you know that as a 'big girl" (grown up woman) you have the option to say: "no...fvck off, loser" ?
how does that offend you SOoooooooooooooooooo much?
would it be better if no man was ever attracted physically to you?
VVVVVVVV | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex? Posted: 1/16/2009 8:30:31 AM | | To me ( although I am sure my mind and logic are probably being effected by mid life hormones) there seems to be a big difference between getting to know a man creating a warmth and rapport, and wanting physical intimacy, and having the total stranger who happens to be sitting next to you at the pub while you are eating look over and say to you," Hey your`e cute, lets go to my house and fool around. I`m horney and haven`t had it in a while, how about you?" Sorry for some reason, that just doesn`t get me in the mood. I know, I know, I`m an old frigid b!tch. | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex? Posted: 1/16/2009 8:35:22 AM | | COMPLEAT MAN....I can see you know nothing about older women.....MENAPAUSE has nothing do do with the capacity too enjoy or not enjoy sex.....some women as well as some MEN just have a lower libido.....HIGH IN 20'S HIGH IN 60'S.....goes for both genders...... | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex? Posted: 1/16/2009 9:27:50 AM | | Besides a ral women in my eyes would definately enjoy being romanced to get in the mood. I won't say sorry on that one because to a real woman and man. It's the foreplay that makes the multiple orgasms become reality. Not just the wam bam Thank you maam. Useless sex that never fulfills anything, that is part of the bad sex that I spoke of earlier. BORING | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex? Posted: 1/16/2009 12:57:34 PM |
I know, I know, I`m an old frigid b!tch. Congratulations, the first step in overcoming a negative personality trait is to acknowledge it. You have taken the first step to healing the jaded view you have of life/relationships and most of all this hate you have for men in geneneral. So, please share.. do you "want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?"... which is the actual premise of this thread. | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex? Posted: 1/16/2009 1:22:10 PM |
That is exactly why I turn down most dates. I don`t want to have first date sex, and I don`t want a man thinking I am taking advantage of his time or attentions or money by accepting a date. I don`t want to lead a man on that he is going to get sex that night. Because it seems that accepting a date now means that you are agreeing to sex. So I just turn down dates.
Now that's making an extra leap. Most men don't necessarily EXPECT sex but they're still probably going to try. Don't stop dating because you think all men expect sex but at the same time don't be naive and then EXPECT him not to want it. In that case you're being just as wrong as a man who expects to have sex just because he takes a girl on a date. It's in our nature to want it therefore try to get it. Now, if you can't handle the fact that yes, most men are going to want to fvck you right away if they find you attractive, then maybe dating isn't for you. But just because they want to doesn't mean they will or you have to let them.
Most men don't necessarily want to have sex and THEN get to you know you, we want to have sex WHILE we're getting to know you. In most of our minds, the two are not mutually exclusive. | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex? Posted: 1/16/2009 1:36:29 PM |
Don't stop dating because you think all men expect sex but at the same time don't be naive and then EXPECT him not to want it.
and if he doesn't actaully want it, exactly when you decide YOU are "ready"..call him a 'fag', etc.. LMAO | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex? Posted: 1/16/2009 1:40:28 PM |
Most men don't necessarily want to have sex and THEN get to you know you, we want to have sex WHILE we're getting to know you. I agree with this. And, I think that's where a lot of woman get lost. We put too much expectations on the "getting to know you stage" Unfortunately, it's in our natures to want to hold on too tight, too soon. We need to re-programme and trust that during the "get to know you stage" that you all aren't just out to score. We need to acknowledge that even if it doesn't turn out to be "until death do us part" that the relationship that we both enjoyed had/has worth, regardless of the final outcome. On the other hand: Men need to acknowledge that we don't think like you do (not yet anyway) and so, you need to be gentle and forthright in your approach. The more we trust.. that you're not just yanking our chains, the easier it will be for you. | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex? Posted: 1/17/2009 9:39:39 AM | Rockinchick said "Well, being up front about it will just justify what we already know. So, please tell us we are right up front and maybe you'll get some for being so sweet."
Then any man that is a real man would be worried about being treated like a piece of meat. | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex? Posted: 1/17/2009 9:45:23 AM | It sounds to me like there is a basic misunderstanding here. Women don't want men to lie. In fact, most women would find it refreshing if the men that were interested in them were honest. When it comes to the specific issue of "wanting sex", Women ALREADY know the answer to that! It's not necessary to bring it up.
Women tend to be more cerebral and less visual and needful of stressing the obvious then men tend to be. The old adage that "men are from Mars and women are from Venus" is pretty indicative that men and women are DIFFERENT. Viva-la-Difference, as they say!
So basically, if you are having difficulty finding a woman that is to your liking, you may find that it's because you are failing to read the manual first (another dominant male characteristic). If you want to find a woman that is to your liking, then learn about her and you are likely to discover that she is just what you want if you are patient and learn what she wants in a man. Well, that's what I think anyway.....  | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex? Posted: 1/23/2009 11:13:14 AM | As it has been stated before Men and women both think, desire, and want sex. For what reasons is where it differ's not based on gender either.
People are all differnt and do thing's for various reasonings. Some men have alot of casual sexual encounters. So are up front and find women willing to partispate, some feel guilted or pressured into pretending to be interested in a lady to be sexuallly intimate with her. Sometimes the interest was there but was rather fleeting. Women do the same but men don't stomp around as often as women do stating how they were used 'for sex' they usually process the emotions of regret, rejection, or confusion (whicchever the emotions might be for the male) Simple fact remains we are all differnt creatures and we all precieve and internalize situations all differntly.
For myself If a guy wanted me 'just for sex" and Knew full well ahead of time thats all he'd ever want of me and pretended elsewise just to 'seal the deal' is dishonest, rude, distasteful, and mean sprited. Therefore I'd end up angry and dislike the person. Any dishonest person that lie's to me just to get something from me instead allowing me to make an informed/ educated decision whatsever the situation be. Will always get negative results from me. I also take into account that interest can change so if one month some guy is hot for me...and next month decides he isn't... hes flickle and is doing me a favor by going his merry way and not wasting my engeries.
If you state up front you run the possibility of beign told no at the min. Maybe the words uttered..( fill in blanks) but the uncomfortible monet is fleeting and soon forgotten . You lie to someone to get something you want in spite of ones feeling's is bad character. I have more respect for a guy/gal who states boldly "i want..." then someone who sheepishly manipulates other's into geeting 'what they want" | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex? Posted: 1/23/2009 11:35:27 AM |
Are you seriously asking women if we want to be "played"?
You may not, but given the number of threads posted by women who are looking to have their claims of being used validated in order to rationalize wanting to have sex with a guy, I'd have say the question has some merit.
Do we want a man to wait a few weeks before using us for sex and then du I certainly hope not. I've written my profile deliberately to avoid having to play that game by not leaving any room to guess about sex being involved from the start. I figure that at least anyone who's not seriously interested in sex, will be discouraged from contacting me. | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex? Posted: 1/23/2009 12:25:02 PM |
I've gotten used to ``b1tchy,'' but it's not an absolute requirement. If you don't put up with any bullshit, and you usually don't throw things which break easily, I'd consider that a plus. I also prefer women who are intelligent. If you think you're smarter than anyone you know, you're perfect.
Oh, Abelian...if it weren't for all of the other words in your profile, you'd be the perfect man! I think the honesty is fabulous...! | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex? Posted: 1/23/2009 12:27:08 PM | This is a very interesting thread.
I'm going to be very crude, I'm just in that kind of mood, so skip this if you're sensitive to that kind of language.
I definitely want a man who will tell me and show me that he wants to fvck me, that in fact that is why he chose me. But then I want to be lusted after. I keep claiming that I want a man for sex, that I will choose my lover, my husband, the father of my children for sex. I have that privilege because I'm female and it's new, at least new in feminist culture, to claim that sex is cause for love, stability, loyalty, longevity and even, yes, morality.
Men don't seem to have that privilege. They have to love us, be stable for us, be loyal to us, stick it out with us and even develop a morality for us for reasons other than sex... for our minds, our companionship, our pedigree, our labor, our fidelity, fealty, loyalty, whatever. They can't come right and out say they want us for our sex. That's just shallow. That will never last. That's not a good enough reason. Why, I wonder.
I once asked a man I loved why he wanted to marry me. He looked at me thoughtfully for a few seconds, and then he grabbed his crotch, the whole thing -- balls and c0ck, undies and jeans -- and shook it. I laughed out loud, in joy and excitement. I was stunned. I couldn't believe that he had actually said it, that he had put it out there between us so bluntly.
I was his object, his Marilyn Monroe, his goddess, his personification of woman and he wanted me. Call me crude, call me stupid, call me shallow, but that's exactly why I want a man to marry me: because his d!ck tells him to, because my cvnt fits his c0ck, my hunger matches his desire to satisfy, my hollowness matches his ability to fill, my rhythm keeps my feet out from under his, my melody works with his bass, my purple-ey red complements his turquoise-ey green.
I would never ever marry for anything other than sex -- my own satisfaction and his. | |
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| The lie is the first step when your goals differ Posted: 1/23/2009 1:01:07 PM | The truth never seems to be as palatable as a well-crafted lie. That's regardless of gender. It's also regardless of sex. When I went car shopping, the only dealerships I contacted a second time were the ones that gave me some hope of getting the price I wanted.
Most of those turned out to be lies.
People either lie and give you hope of getting what you want. Or they tell you the truth and you never speak to them again. Finding that rare one who is both telling the truth and promising to fullfill your hopes and desires seems to be where the challenge lies.
No, women don't want to be lied to. They want what they want, and if you promise it to them, they won't kick you to the curb .... yet. Let's take a look at how the alternatives stack up:
1. She wants something you don't want to give. 2. She wants something you DO want to give.
If you run into the first woman, the only way to get to the second step with her is to lie. If you tell the truth, you'll wind up looking for another woman because this one won't want you.
If you run into the second woman, there's no point in lying. The problem is that Mother Nature(or God, or whatever you think created us) seems to have designed men and women to want different things. So finding that second woman is far more of a rare occurance than finding the first woman. | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex? Posted: 1/23/2009 2:35:17 PM | THANK YOU for bring this up........
Honesty is much better, and man, what is UP with one night stands?
I try to never have sex on a first date, I want to know the guy wants more than sex......and find that if a guy pushes that rule, the lay is what he is really after in the end.
NOW this is not to say I haven't ever broken that rule, I have, but have only had one good relationship come of that........and several times where the guy is never heard from again. So I am left wounded, wondering if I could have made it last if I had done something differently. Thankfully, i pick myself up, and try again......but it still hurts.
So guys, please tell us if you are into looking for some bedroom fun, or are looking for a real relationship.
Dating is hard enough and if someone is honest about what they are looking for, it helps. | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex? Posted: 1/23/2009 3:02:39 PM | Oh, Abelian...if it weren't for all of the other words in your profile, you'd be the perfect man! Thank you. I gotta be me and I'm sure I'm the perfect man for some women who would rather skip the pretense and not let dating get in the way of the other stuff they have going on. You might even be persuaded after you realize that dating isn't all it's cracked up to be. :)
I think the honesty is fabulous...! Strangely enough, other women have made similar comments (and still talk to me.)
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I try to never have sex on a first date, I want to know the guy wants more than sex......and find that if a guy pushes that rule, the lay is what he is really after in the end. That's not necessarily true. I'll certainly take more than sex, but the bottom line is that sex is going to be the main facet of the relationship.
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So guys, please tell us if you are into looking for some bedroom fun, or are looking for a real relationship.
Exactly why are those two things mutually exclusive?
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