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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 5/17/2009 4:45:05 PM | | There are several factors to consider. One could argue that somewhere down the line their parents made some mistakes, school, or even society. Or maybe some of us made mistakes on our own, with no one to blame. There is no "perfect age" to start having kids. Was I ready mentally to have my first child when i did? Maybe. Maybe not. Do I feel like I am a better mother today than I was 7 years ago? Absolutely! We live, learn, and let go. At the end of the day, doing your absolute best is all you can hope for. | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 5/17/2009 4:52:31 PM |
There is no "perfect age" to start having kids.
There are clearly "better" ages than others in which to have children. Young teenagers do not even have their brains fully developed. They certainly are not the right age to become mothers. Child abuse statistics PROVE this to be true. | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 5/18/2009 12:28:58 PM | | I was 19 when i had my child, and i feel i was perfectly mature enough and to be honest he was the making of me, i have always worked and have a very good job and been in the same job for 8 years going back to full time work when my child was 5 month old so sitting there stating that most single mothers do not hold down a job i find very insulting. Whilst i appreciate a minority of young single mothers give narrow minded people like you the wrong perception of young mothers, i can assure you that it was nothing to do with the way i was bought up as i come from a respectable family who had the same values as you. I have a very polite child who is doing well at school and i will tell him the same values as my mum taught me but am ignorant to know that he will listen, with the pressures of growing up. You don't have to go to college to get a good job it is possible to without further education as i have proved. | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 5/20/2009 9:48:43 AM | | Agree there. I'm 24 and I have custody of my daughter. Maturity is a big part of it. My ex was 26 when we had our daugther and I was 23, but I quickly matured to my new role as a parent. My ex didn't. She still went out and didn't handle her new parental role well. So, maturity is key. | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 5/20/2009 10:45:16 AM |
Come now, what is 3 yrs? a young woman of 22 is pretty much the same person she will be at 25... Reelax, and live and let live.... Why so judgemental?
That's not true in many cases. A 25 year old is out of college and into her career in many cases. She has some life experience and is self-supporting. An 18 or 22 year old, not so much. | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 5/20/2009 5:09:38 PM | | You are so wrong, go educate yourself.. AND the thought of doing an abortion is so ****ing sick, killing somthing that can't fight back or say anything... HAVE YOU EVER SEEN ONE BE DONE?!?! I have in a school video when I was a senior.. I had to walk out of the class because I couldn't see how someone could do that to a living thing. I viewed your profile and all you're here to do is basically start shit so ****ing leave.. I read alot of your forum posts that you've started and you and many others is why it's so hard to be young parents.. Even if we're with our partner or not. Stop posting and leave us the hell alone. | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 5/20/2009 7:43:08 PM | Free will...
Legal pov: sex and pregnancy can't be outlawed.
Social pov: marriage is obsolete.
Political pov: is correct, supported by society.
Philosophical pov: men are just a mean to the end, they are not need it.
Religious pov: is irrelevant by convenience.
Educative pov: wrong policies.
Moral pov: subjective term, taxpayers' bussiness.
Personal pov: I want and I can.
... let's nature take its course, everything will be ok. | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 5/21/2009 6:55:26 PM | | Well it takes two to make a baby , & the problem isn't in age as much as responsibility. When we were young there was no real means of learning responsibility & knowing of std's & other complexities. But ignorance & the couldn't happen to me aspect clouds their minds. | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 5/21/2009 10:22:05 PM | | With age comes experience in turn comes maturity. The younger generation are the moochers of society and refuse to do anything with their lives. It's all about meeting some big "balla" who is going to take care of them...They have no respect for themselves and the way America has raised them, since their parents didn't it's all about being cool. | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 5/21/2009 10:45:27 PM | | ok im 21 i had my son when i was 18 and momma was 16 both of us wasnt ready but our son son a good life im not with hewr anymore shes to inmature and her drama was just to much and yes we was to young but you know what it took my son to be born for me to grow up so dont judge us young kids yes we make alot of mistakes BUT WE DEAL WITH IT we arnt perfect but atlesat we are trying | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 5/21/2009 11:07:22 PM |
ok im 21 i had my son when i was 18 and momma was 16 both of us wasnt ready but our son son a good life im not with hewr anymore shes to inmature and her drama was just to much and yes we was to young but you know what it took my son to be born for me to grow up so dont judge us young kids yes we make alot of mistakes BUT WE DEAL WITH IT we arnt perfect but atlesat we are trying
I could barely read your post. Why in the world would you have a child so young?
From your profile:
"hi im rick im 21 i have my DL back and i have a truck" Does this mean you lost your license but now have it back? How did you lose it?
So how are you "trying" to give your child a good life? | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 5/22/2009 2:58:02 AM | | I think I'm absolutely frigging sick of nothing being said about the fathers. They didn't exactly get into it themselves, & wouldn't be single if the father hadn't run away like the chickenchits they are. And furthermore, respect for a woman keeping a baby at such a young age, provided she's not a crappy mother, should go without saying. | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 5/22/2009 9:22:45 AM | But that is the whole point. I do not respect girls for keeping babies when they get pregnant as teens. I think it is very selfish and ultimately unfair to the child. Every child deserves 2 ADULT parents who are financially stable and emotionally mature enough to properly care for them. Most* 15, 16, 17 and 18 year olds are not in this category.
I have even more disrespect for the PARENTS of these teens.
*Notice I said MOST and not ALL. Please save your breath if you are going to give some anecdote about a teen you know who is financially stable and emotionally mature enough to be a parent. I never said they don't exist. | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 5/22/2009 9:30:31 AM | But that is the whole point. I do not respect girls for keeping babies when they get pregnant as teens. I think it is very selfish and ultimately unfair to the child. Every child deserves 2 ADULT parents who are financially stable and emotionally mature enough to properly care for them. Most* 15, 16, 17 and 18 year olds are not in this category.
I have even more disrespect for the PARENTS of these teens.
*Notice I said MOST and not ALL. Please save your breath if you are going to give some anecdote about a teen you know who is financially stable and emotionally mature enough to be a parent. I never said they don't exist.
I agree with this children are intitled to stability be it about money or emotionally. BUT
Does a child not have the right to stay with its birth parents. Sure adopted kids could live a mega happy life but one day they'll find there birth parents and want to know why there parents left them.
Personally i dont think the inability to surport your children finacialy is a reason to put them up to be adopted. considering there is help there. and this is exactly what its there for.
(thats not to say i disagree with adoption or what ever) i just dont see it as an option. if i felt i couldnt surport my daughter even recieving help from the government as i do. then sure id do what was best for her.
I dont see the fact she has me as a bad thing, considering the fact she is my main concern, id rather be alone with her then happly married with a Wife and with out her. | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 5/22/2009 10:38:16 AM | | Wayne, you sound like a good father, but not all teens and young people are good parents. Rates of abuse, child neglect and even child death are much higher among teen parents than older parents. These are the type of people who should either be aborting or putting their children up for adoption. | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 5/22/2009 7:59:36 PM |
But that is the whole point. I do not respect girls for keeping babies when they get pregnant as teens. I think it is very selfish and ultimately unfair to the child. Every child deserves 2 ADULT parents who are financially stable and emotionally mature enough to properly care for them. Most* 15, 16, 17 and 18 year olds are not in this category.
I have even more disrespect for the PARENTS of these teens.
*Notice I said MOST and not ALL. Please save your breath if you are going to give some anecdote about a teen you know who is financially stable and emotionally mature enough to be a parent. I never said they don't exist.
I assure you we do exsist. I was preg at 17 held down a job and took no money from anyone when i had my daughter. I paid rent and bills. We do exsist thank you and we raise darn good kids. We finish high school and attend college. I hold down a career that affords me the money to mantain a pleasent lifestyle and the time to be able to raise my daughter. I was beyond ready to be a parent, ( deffinately wasn't planning it until i was in my 20's) but when i happened i took that swift kick in the bum and got my stuff in row and I'm still moving up and up today. We are not all whiney teen moms like Bristol Palin "ohh it is soo hard, boo hooo" and we are not all deadbeats or raise uneducated children who will also be teen parents. You have a choise to step up to your responciblites or take the easy way out. I decided to woman up.
BTW I am adopted and adoption is NOT somthing I find to be a great thing. so many issues go along with it. People need to stop thinking it is some magical wonderful solution for their kids and that the kids are going to be greatful 20 years down the road.. trust me there are days I am but more often then not, I am not happy about it. | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 5/22/2009 9:31:37 PM | I assure you we do exsist. I was preg at 17 held down a job and took no money from anyone when i had my daughter. I paid rent and bills. We do exsist thank you and we raise darn good kids. We finish high school and attend college. I hold down a career that affords me the money to mantain a pleasent lifestyle and the time to be able to raise my daughter. I was beyond ready to be a parent, ( deffinately wasn't planning it until i was in my 20's) but when i happened i took that swift kick in the bum and got my stuff in row and I'm still moving up and up today. We are not all whiney teen moms like Bristol Palin "ohh it is soo hard, boo hooo" and we are not all deadbeats or raise uneducated children who will also be teen parents. You have a choise to step up to your responciblites or take the easy way out. I decided to woman up.
I find it absolutely amazing how you could finish high school, care for a newborn, and work enough hours to pay rent, food, utilities, daycare, etc. HOW did you do it?
BTW I am adopted and adoption is NOT somthing I find to be a great thing. so many issues go along with it. People need to stop thinking it is some magical wonderful solution for their kids and that the kids are going to be greatful 20 years down the road.. trust me there are days I am but more often then not, I am not happy about it.
Please expand on this if it's not too personal. What are the downsides of being adopted? Would you have been better off if your bio parents kept and raised you? | |
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Tor73
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Joined: 1/11/2009
Msg: 248 | |
| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 5/22/2009 11:54:40 PM | | Yeh I know what you mean. Sometimes I think girls are brainwashed into thinking that having kids is a prerequisite for being adult. I mean while boys are running around exploring the woods, building forts, and getting into fights; girls are playing with there dolls, playing house, and dreaming about meeting prince charming and what their wedding well be like. But what happens is that when they are finally old enough to get out and meet guys without having to worry about their parents interference they are still took young minded to act responsibly and practice protected sex. So they end up pregnant from a relationship that serious enough to continue and end up here. So the question isn't why are there so many here. Their is so many hear because it is common. The big question is, that now that they are hear looking for someone new have they learned how to identify a good man? And the even bigger question, now that they are single with a kid and still not that grown themselves, do they understand that they can no longer be self centered, and need to put the welfare of their child as their first priority? Play time is over and its time to grow up. | |
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Tor73
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Joined: 1/11/2009
Msg: 249 | |
| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 5/23/2009 12:12:07 AM | | What statistics are you referring to? Fact is the mother ends up with the mother by the courts by default. The only way the father can get full custody is if the mother abandons the child or otherwise is proven to be unfit. Guys always get the short end of the stick on that one. Then the courts usually put a restraining order on the father because the mother claims she feels threatened by him or she moves somewhere new and doesn't give the father the new address. Then their is also the factor of why they divorced. If it was because she cheated on him then the father may have doubts as to if the child is even his. And if she refuses to take a DNA test that usually confirms it for him. Me personally I have a daughter that I would love to see but my ex is so vindictive I am lucky if I get to have her for the weekend. I don't currently know where she lives and according to the courts it is none of my business, but she has told me she is thinking of moving across the country soon and then How can I see my daughter. So I don't like to hear this crap about deadbeat dads when I know that sometimes it is really vindictive mothers that only use their children as another paycheck. | |
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Tor73
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Joined: 1/11/2009
Msg: 250 | |
| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 5/23/2009 12:29:40 AM | Does that make me any less of a mother simply because of my age?
Yes it does. I had my first child when I was 32, because that is how long it took for me to find someone that I thought was mature enough to raise a child. I dated many women in my younger years, but I knew how to practice safe sex. But apparently some people are to tempted to have unprotected sex because they say it feels so much better. Then they accidentally end up with an STD or pregnant and think that although they were not practicing responsible sex that they are still responsible enough to raise a child. As for me, my child was planned and I've never had an STD and never will. If I am dating a girl and she ask me to have sex without a condom I stop messing with her all together. What you have to understand is it says a lot about your character when a girl ask a guy she is dating to have unprotected sex, and it is a big red flag. Because it means that she likes to have unprotected sex, (i.e. has done it before) might have an STD, might already be pregnant by someone else and need to have unprotected sex to cover it up, or might be looking for that meal ticket. | |
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