| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 1/2/2009 11:59:04 AM | [Kids can't make the responsible decision not to have sex but people think they can raise a child.]
Dream Dancer.
I guess I don't understand this statement. How can kids NOT make the responsible decision NOT to have sex? Kids/teenagers are not stupid. They hear the statistics. They have sex education classes in school. Where are THEIR parents when it comes to morality issues?
I have to say I disagree with the poster who said the statistics of young single parents is down. Sorry, just not buying that. I work in an environment where I witness it every day, and the number of cases keeps rising. I think one of the main reasons for that is many years ago, there were shotgun weddings and people "had" to get married. Or, the girl would be sent to live with a relative until the baby was born and then either her parents or relatives would raise it like their own. It is not like that in today's age. Do I condone teenage sex? No! But just because that is my belief doesn't mean that others feel that way.
However, what really irks me are the people who pop out kid after kid and have no way to support them! And, yes, many of those are intentional. I've seen instances where a guy will have 4 or 5 kids with 4 or 5 different "baby's mamas." (I hate that term. It is so trashy!). In other instances, there are young girls that have multiple kids by the time they are 18-22, and yes, usually with different fathers. So, we as a society usually end up supporting these kids.
And no, I don't believe every person "walks away" from their responsibility to support their child(ren). It basically depends on what type of morals and values parent's raise their kids with. If they are taught responsibility then they will step up and take it. If kids are excused from their actions or they have no positive parental role models, then they are usually the ones who will try to cop out of their responsibility. | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 1/2/2009 12:08:25 PM | Each year, almost 750,000 teenage women aged 15–19 become pregnant. The teenage pregnancy
rate in this country is at its lowest level in 30 years, down 36% since its peak in 1990. A growing
body of research suggests that both increased abstinence and changes in contraceptive practice
are responsible for recent declines in teenage pregnancy.1
• The teenage pregnancy rate among those who ever had intercourse declined 28% between
1990 and 2002.
• The teenage birthrate in 2002 was 30% lower than the peak rate of 61.8 births per 1,000
women, reached in 1991.
• Between 1988 and 2000, teenage pregnancy rates declined in every state and in the
District of Columbia.
• By 2002, the teenage abortion rate had dropped by 50% from its peak in 1988.
• From 1986 to 2002, the proportion of teenage pregnancies ending in abortion declined
more than one-quarter from 46% to 34% of pregnancies among 15–19-year-olds.
• Among black women aged 15–19, the nationwide pregnancy rate fell by 40% between
1990 and 2002.
• Among white teenagers, it declined by 34% during the same time period.
• Among Hispanic teenagers, who may be of any race, the pregnancy rate increased
slightly from 1991–1992, but by 2002 was 19% lower than the 1990 rate.
Do you believe any of this? Google the facts wow. | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 1/2/2009 12:16:19 PM | | OP, I had my daughter at 21, and I never lived off benefits. On the contrary, i pay good taxes from my good salary which other people live off. My children are well taken care off and I am very proud of them. I too ask what is your point? Do your things the way you wish and let others do the same. | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 1/2/2009 12:45:14 PM | Yay for torquoise but you are but ONE who managed to make it work, it does nothing to negate the fact that many others have not or will not.
So what's YOUR point?
Why is it that there is always someone like you that seems to avoid the issue by saying I did it so it must not be really happening. Whether you would like to believe or not something is way off kilter with the number of single young moms who have not been married or even if they were, left a so called bad situation because they A: rushed into it or B: decided that it wasn't the hollywood magic carpet ride they get promised in Cosmo Magazine.
PEOPLE THE OP WAS NOT TALKING HIGH SCHOOL TEENS
Unless you are very stupid you should be out of high school by then. | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 1/2/2009 12:59:14 PM | cleansed, ok, I will clarify it for you:
It's disturbing to me at least to see so many single mothers so young on this website and they seem perfectly content being a mother at such a young age.
Why is it disturbing to the OP? Does he or you, cleansed, personally know anybody who became a mother within this age bracket? Is there some problem with their parenting or are they making themselves someone else's responsibility? And I am now asking who you personally know, not about statistics.
I know 6 such people including myself and neither of them is on benefits and they are good mothers.
From the forums i have noticed a couple of mothers who also had kids at such age, they both work and seem to be good moms.
I personally know 3 women who live off benefits. All of them became pregnant after 25, one of them at 40. One off them is married.
I am by no means advocating teens pregnancy or saying that people should have children before they are ready. I just don't understand what is OP's point. It's not like he is posting about a real problem he has. He should live his life and let others live thiers. And you too.
Maybe it's just me and my old fashioned views of having kids after say 25.
As was correctly pointed out, having kids after 25 or even much later is a new trend. The further into the past you go, the sooner you will find women having children. | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 1/2/2009 1:15:24 PM | Believe it or not, I am actually a left of centre guy. But when it comes to this babymamma thing ( has kids instead of a job whether she's ready or not, and tends to have more stuff than most working class people putting in long hours doing back breaking work) that I think the O.P. is implying...I think it's a symptom of a much bigger issue that I truely believe is eroding our moral foundation.
Women's lib is a great thing...but this ain't what it was supposed to be. | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 1/2/2009 1:20:26 PM | Actually pixie yes I know of two in my life, my two older sisters and they were both pregnant unfortunately in high school but were quickly encourage to leave school so as to not become a focal point for other girls their age.
This was thirty years ago.
And can we stop talking about teens!!!!!!!!!
My sisters were lucky that they came from a large family and as angry as my father was he secretly helped out both my sisters financially. In order for him to do this involved many sleepless nights being on call 24 hours a day.
I would imagine we don't see any example of really poor moms on this site because they would need a decent computer and internet access. | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 1/2/2009 1:26:15 PM | Actually many people who live on benefits, are not poor. Their benefit income in some cases adds upto what one can earn in highly quilified job, at least here in UK. I have also updated my previous post, giving examples of people who I know are on benefits. Neither one of them is a single mom who became a mom between 18 and 22.
And you are the one who is talking about teens, I assume that at high school, your sisters were under 18.
Check this out too: http://singleparents.about.com/od/legalissues/p/portrait.htm | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 1/2/2009 1:34:00 PM | | i had my daughter at 18, i was married and in a relationship... i became a single mother when my daughter was 4 months, im now 22.... i stay at home and look after my daughter... i live off "the system" as people call it only because no one fancies giving a young mother a job cos im not flexible enough.... yes, there are single parents out there that dont have a full time job.... in actual fact they do! looking after kids is a full time job!!! there are some single mothers out there that want a job... when someone can find me a job that pays better than me sitting at home, cooking, cleaning and looking after my baby... then ill go out and do it... kids having kids at 14 is not acceptable... but it happens, guess we just have to deal with it! | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 1/2/2009 2:01:25 PM | DJ:
Let me ask you something. Are you going to school to try to better yourself? What lessons are you teaching your daughter? That it's okay not to work and let other people support you?
There is such a thing as reduced/almost free daycare. There are all kinds of programs for this. Why are you not flexible enough for a schedule? Many women work full-time and have to send their kids to daycare. It's part of life and time to grow up! How do you manage to have a computer let alone internet service if you are "living off the system?" While I may have had some lean years, I've never received any type of government assistance and at times, I've even worked a part-time job on the weekends. So, yes, people like you irritate me! | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 1/2/2009 2:07:55 PM | Turquoise I'll join your bandwagon, I too was 21 when I had my first son. Yes Cleansed, I'll choose option A: rushing into it. Bad decision, however I was a College Graduate at the time, and never used welfare or any other kind of "system".
Was I ready to have a child? No. But I lay in the bed I made, and chose to use my son's birth as motivation to get my life together, rather than use him as an excuse to allow it to fall apart. And that's the difference. | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 1/2/2009 2:11:45 PM | Cleansed, if we're not talking about high school teens, then I don't understand what the conversation is for. All it is is ageism.
My best friends and I all have had children before the age of 25, and none of us are anywhere near welfare. Granted, we're not all single, but single/married is hardly a distinguishing characteristic - people can attain that status at any point in life.
But we, in fact, are more educated and financially stable than the majority of people who have a problem with us.
Maybe I have a problem paying my hard earned money into THEIR social security because they chose to take low level jobs that keep them from saving for retirement!
Pointing out cases like the nice lady above me is fine, but I have a problem with generalizing to all of us, and like I said before, someone content to live off the system is going to do it regardless of what age they had their children. It's a sign of who you ARE, not what age you had your children. | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 1/2/2009 2:18:22 PM |
But we, in fact, are more educated and financially stable than the majority of people who have a problem with us.
Maybe I have a problem paying my hard earned money into THEIR social security because they chose to take low level jobs that keep them from saving for retirement!
Yes, my view as well.
I do not recommend any particular age for having children. Everybody must live their life and everybody will be dealing with their choices.
someone content to live off the system is going to do it regardless of what age they had their children.
Absolutely as i have also given examples of. They might not even have children. | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 1/2/2009 3:06:28 PM | | I was a young mother that you speak of by the age of 22 I had all 3 of my children. I single parented them through out their life, and I'm referred to as MOP by my 2nd son which is the acronym for MOM and POP. I didn't plan it that way, I was raised to believe that once married I would be my husbands responsibility...NOT. When he decided to up and leave, what's a woman/mother to do, but just carry on, and try to be the best parent she could possibly be. I don't think alot of the single mothers or fathers planned on being single,but ended up that way. Sheri | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 1/2/2009 3:09:12 PM | | Im a single mother at 20 i dont find it disturbing... a bit tough but its ones opinion to whats right and whats not... its all about what your after but it doesnt change the person just because they have children... my child is my world and everything... but yes i as well agree with you if i had the choice i would have waited tilll i was 25 but things happen ... maybe this is a bit of an insight for you if not sorry | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 1/2/2009 4:05:25 PM | Sheri,
Sometimes things like that happen. You were married and expected it to be forever. I was a mother at 20 and yes, I was married too. Not sure of your age, but 20 years ago, it was not uncommon. Times have changed today.
What irks me are the single people who have kids that don't support them themselves. I am compassionate enough to realize not everyone who needs some government assistance is a deadbeat. There ARE circumstances when people have kids and do work, but need a little extra. I have no problem with that. And if someone is single and wants a child, as long as they can financially and emotionally support them, I'm all for it.
Teresa | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 1/2/2009 4:14:05 PM | teresa your one of few who understand...im on income assistance and NEED help from the government because my childs father doesnt pay... and because he is an alcoholic i will NEVER leave him alone with her i dont care if hes her dad or not... so im stuck at home and cant get a job yet because im trying to finish school... ive had people call me a dead beat mom but my child is fed... clothed...cleaned...spoiled absolutely rotten...and i think its none of that guys buisness about whos a single mother at any age... i know a girl that is 15 that just had a baby and shes a wonderful mother sure i dont approve of it... but if the child hasnt been removed by the ministry then that means shes a good mom right? and the father of that child F...d right off too...
and my opinion on old fashioned is .... in the old days woman were sold to old men to bear 10 kids by the time they were 25 old days were harsh and woman never made it past 45 years old...so to the guy that started this thread you are one dumb idiot...I took a liking in history and thats how things were | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 1/2/2009 4:40:45 PM |
My point is why are so many young women having kids at an age where they aren't fully adults yet?
OP, people are ready at different times in their life to have children. They might not be in your schedule.
Simply appreciate the diversity in life. | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 1/2/2009 6:20:16 PM | here here to you mate (freetime2bme) , sticking up for us THANKS...Your right the morality police do need to get their facts right...until they are in the position they don't know what they would do, although they can pretend they do??? and they can also pretend like they know what they are talking about, when they don't
Thanks againxoxo | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 1/2/2009 6:25:44 PM | Reelax
I see what your point is. As a single father of a teenage daughter i see the same thing you do every day. I know we live in a different world now then when i was younger but I think maybe we should revert back to some of the ways that were, when i was a teenager. Imyself think more parents shoudl take control of there children at a young age and teach them what they need to know before letting them out in this big world | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 1/2/2009 7:01:54 PM | | Totally agree with you singledadcb. More parents need to take control of their kids at a young age and teach them. It is a different world from what we grew up in, but that doesn't mean we can't bring some of those beliefs from back then to the present. | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 1/2/2009 7:10:25 PM | All us young mothers popped out our kids early on because we wanted to upset you and your old-fashioned values.
Age does not determine a good parent.
I have seen some POS parents much older than me that i wanted to shake and smack.
I had my first at 19 and my second at 25 and have always done WONDERFUL for myself. Absolutely wonderful. By the age of 21, i had my car paid off and was managing a 2 grand a month rental all on my own.I adore my kids and they are loved, nurtured, praised, made to feel special, have good self-esteem, i dont do drugs, i rarely drink, i dont go off looking for baby daddys, i have no debt, i own my cars flat-out, own 3 investment properties for rental income, just purchased a home in Key West, the kids lack for nothing, so why, in the hell, would you have a problem with me having kids at a young age? I aint been living off of you. | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 1/2/2009 7:27:15 PM | | Thank you Teresa for agreeing with me. I figured i woudl get more negative fedback then posative. Believe me when I say that I am tryng to bring back some of the old fashion ways. I try and teach them to my teenage daughter every day and of course she says " But we are living in a new time not when you were young" but that doesnt stop me from teaching her what my parents taught me. I must say those rules my mom gave me when I wasa tenager must have worked because im doing just fine now. | |
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