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| | Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?Page 28 of 34 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34) | | ... cuz they have the baby and the guy bails. Is this a real question? What's better yet is pregnant woman profiles that hate men :-) | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 8/1/2011 5:37:58 PM |
Yes she did. She just didn't finish it. If a parachute fails, there is always a reserve. You don't just say "I need to own up to my responsibilities" by not pulling the reserve. You would "pull the reserve," move on with your life, consider some other "company" to "go parachuting" with in the future.
And in regard to your analogy, FlyinSolo, the doctor has -your- best interests in mind. After all that stuff went wrong, I'm sure that same doctor (or someone affiliated) prescribed medication to make you better again. He didn't just say, "oops, well I'm going to only look out for what I want to do, and you have no options." Moreover, people don't sign any waivers when they have sex.
No the doctor didn't say that, but not knowing what it's like to be in his shoes, I have to take his opinion into consideration. I have to let the doctor make the best call. So when I take my birth control I have both of our best interest in mind. However if I do become pregnant, you need to take my opinion into consideration as well. Abortion is not a decision based on logic, but also morality. Also adoption does not guarantee that the child will go to a loving home. You have no idea what kind of emotional bond a woman has with what's growing inside her. And no you don't sign a waiver when you have sex, but unless you were home schooled and led a very sheltered life, you are fully informed that sex can possibly result in a pregnancy, even if precaution is taken. It's not like you forget that every time you have sex. | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 8/3/2011 12:10:30 PM | | What are they supposed to do? Be upset that they have a kid? Sit around and mope? Obviously these young women love there kids and what's done is done... Honestly for most of these young women the situation was about being naive or dumb enough to believe that the guy they had found was the one and wanted what was best for them.... I don't fault people for things that didn't happen to myself....in other situations obviously this happened to me........ maybe I just am more open to others and there situations now that I am a single mother of two working full time and trying to see the positive side of everything. My kids have a purpose and I love them dearly granted I really don't want more kids and it is a harder path, but it is my path and I can't change what happened and I won't apologize for being content with my babies. | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 8/3/2011 1:11:18 PM |
dearly granted I really don't want more kids and it is a harder path,
And this too could be a problem for many guys... A lot of guys will want to have kids as well... If you don't want any more kids you will be limiting yourself somewhat... Especially at your age...
Being 40+ and not wanting more kids is not really an issue as most guys that age already have their own or no longer care.... but at your age, most guys are not willing to pass on having kids... | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 8/3/2011 1:53:05 PM | i would say there are so many mom's out there who find themselve's single in that age range, because there are so many men out there, in that age range, who have abandoned both these mothers and the child. many young men are not ready to accept the responsibility of being a father and/or husband/boyfriend and find it too easy to just up and walk away from the situation.....
now i know all the good young dads out there who actually are active and involved are about to jump down my throat ... but before you do... i commend those who are active and involved, you are a rare breed!
and not only young people, i've met alot of 40 year old men who are not yet responsible or mature! | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 8/4/2011 6:05:33 AM | | Ok well here is my point. If u were so old fashioned then it wouldn be news to u. Our grandmas and great grandmas were having kids and being married a lot younger than 18. im a single mom and im 20. The reason im single and not scared to say that I have kids is because I have been taking care of them like I was a thirty year old mom. There is no difference in the love, and my husband didn want to grow up and be a man to his kids so I have been mommy and daddy for three years now. Us young and single moms are single because men our age dont want to take care of there responsibilities so we r left to do everything. And in the end that makes us stronger and better people. So dont judge and stop trying to down us. | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 8/4/2011 6:19:03 AM | | This must be a boy, or a mother of a boy because u sure do not sound like a man. No woman backs a man In the corner. He does that on his own. If he is man enough to have sex with a women then he is man enough to kno what can happen and if he does not want the possibility of a kid he needs to keep his little penis in his pants because he can run and he deny all he would like but in the end that is still half his responsibility as well. And jus because u have kids as a teenager does NOT mean that u cannot have a life or future for u or your kids. Im a single mom of three. I was married for four years to there dad. I was 16 he was 19 and i will always be my children number one and i feel so sorry for him because he has no idea what he is missing. I dropt out of school immediately got my ged and went straight to college. I then received my RN and now i work in the nicu. I have my own home and vehicle. I pay all of my bills. I dont depend on anyone or the government and im living jus as good as anyone else. So until have walked in my shoe, do not judge and do not pretend u kno how us women are wen it comes to these situations because u can defend a man all u want but all we want is for them to step up be a man and stop making us be bigger and better dads to there own. | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 8/4/2011 7:33:48 AM |
Our grandmas and great grandmas were having kids and being married a lot younger than 18. im a single mom and im 20.
Yes, and your grandmas and great grandmas waited until they were married before they had sex... And generally speaking, they were only with the one guy for their entire life... And the men raised their own children, and not another man's kids...
Us young and single moms are single because men our age dont want to take care of there responsibilities So if you knew that, why did you get pregnant?
So dont judge and stop trying to down us.
This is the part many of you are still not getting... We're not judging you...
For the most part, we simply don't want to get involved with a single mom and raise some other guy's kids.... | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 8/4/2011 9:43:09 AM | I'm sorry m_church, but did you miss the whole point of how she was married to the father for FOUR years? Have you ever stopped to think that the men of 19 and 20 just aren't as mature as they were 50-60 years ago? That they didn't run away from their children leaving someone else to be there for them? Maybe it's not the woman who are becoming less mature, but the men who are.
Oh and btw, my great grandma had her oldest child 6 months after she got married. Meaning that she had sex before she was married. This difference between today and that time is that MEN don't marry their mistakes anymore. Men owned up to their responsibility to their own children. Most men today don't. It seem like today men don't want to raise ANY kids, even their own. Also did you know that the average time lapse between marriage and child birth during the time of the puritans was 5 months. Meaning our great grandmas have been getting it on with men before marriage for a long, long time.
This is the part you're still not getting... YOU CANNOT BLAME ONE WITHOUT THE OTHER!!! You keep saying that you don't want to raise another man's kids, but you seem to be one of the men that MAKE the other man's kids. YOU contributed to this. Regardless of whether or not your kids were planned, you were a contributing factor into this dilemma. Maybe if men owned up to their responsibility and stayed with the mother of his child, neither he nor any other man would have to worry about raising another man's child. | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 8/4/2011 11:39:55 AM |
I'm sorry m_church, but did you miss the whole point of how she was married to the father for FOUR years?
No... I did not miss that part... Or that she got married at age 16...
I wonder how well her career was going at that point... I am sure that the two of them were financially stable and had the resources to support a family too.... Being the advanced age of 19, I am sure her husband was already well established and fast tracking his career too...
and that time is that MEN don't marry their mistakes anymore. No truer words have been spoken in this thread....
Men owned up to their responsibility to their own children. Most men today don't. It seem like today men don't want to raise ANY kids, even their own.
That's probably got a lot to do with the fact that by the time most couples had sex in those days it was in a relationship already... not for a casual romp with a person who you just met and barely know.,. In other words, there was already a bond formed before the baby was formed...
YOU CANNOT BLAME ONE WITHOUT THE OTHER!!! You keep saying that you don't want to raise another man's kids, but you seem to be one of the men that MAKE the other man's kids.
I've only made 2 kids... Both are adults now... I never expected another man to raise my kids either and no man has... For example...my son was almost an adult when his mother and I split... He went with me... I think my daughter was about 18 when her mom and I split and was moving in with her B/F (she's still with him - no kids... ) around then... So your point is?
Also did you know that the average time lapse between marriage and child birth during the time of the puritans was 5 months. Meaning our great grandmas have been getting it on with men before marriage for a long, long time.
Well, most of us know that the "Puritans' was about their religion not their chastity... LOL History is not always a good argument for past practices... In the Puritan days a child conceived out of wedlock would have no rights or family ties under the law... Through most of history, men and women coupled like animals... A new male would often kill or exile any progeny that were not his... Shall we use that as a guide...? | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 8/4/2011 1:20:33 PM |
Being the advanced age of 19, I am sure her husband was already well established and fast tracking his career too...
My brother married his wife at 20, my grandfather married his wife at 19. And you know what, both of these men(not millionaires by any means) made a damn good living.
That's probably got a lot to do with the fact that by the time most couples had sex in those days it was in a relationship already... not for a casual romp with a person who you just met and barely know.,. In other words, there was already a bond formed before the baby was formed...
My son's father and I were in a relationship. Maybe not a long term, but long enough to involve sex. My boyfriend and his daughter's mother were also in a relationship. My parents were also in a relationship when they conceived my older sister, but not married... yet. A couple of my friends were in a relationships with their child(ren)'s father. And you know what, I have yet to read one story of a woman who said her child was the product of a one night stand. Besides, most courtships were not nearly as long as they are today, where people stay together for years and years without getting married. Most couples married with in a year. Most of the time, less than that.
I've only made 2 kids... Both are adults now... I never expected another man to raise my kids either and no man has... For example...my son was almost an adult when his mother and I split... He went with me... I think my daughter was about 18 when her mom and I split and was moving in with her B/F (she's still with him - no kids... ) around then... So your point is?
Congratulations, you are an exception. And I'm not trying to make a dig. I'm stating that you are unlike most men in that when they leave the woman they are with they do not take their children with them. They stay with the mother. Now, I have a question. I know you most likely raised your son right, but how would you react if your son conceived a child with a woman and decided that he didn't want to be involved? They could be together for years but the second a child comes into play he just decides he's not ready. This is a hypothetical question.
Well, most of us know that the "Puritans' was about their religion not their chastity... LOL History is not always a good argument for past practices... In the Puritan days a child conceived out of wedlock would have no rights or family ties under the law... Through most of history, men and women coupled like animals... A new male would often kill or exile any progeny that were not his... Shall we use that as a guide...?
I was merely using it as an example to show that for ages most men and women did not wait for marriage to have sex as you stated. | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 8/4/2011 5:17:03 PM |
(flyinsolo87) Also did you know that the average time lapse between marriage and child birth during the time of the puritans was 5 months. Meaning our great grandmas have been getting it on with men before marriage for a long, long time.
They knew that the men of their time had moral fibre. Women today supposedly know that men supposedly don't have moral fibre, yet they STILL have sex with them, thinking that they're gonna be the ones to beat the odds.
This is the part you're still not getting... YOU CANNOT BLAME ONE WITHOUT THE OTHER!!!
I don't even know what you're on about, here. This "two are to blame" bit only comes out when a single-m0ther champion is getting lambasted. Until then, they're quite content to let the men be blamed by implication. That, and tiresomely tedious posts about what great mothers they are... like, the norm for a mother is that she beats her kids, and she's somehow SPECIAL, just because she's good to her kids...
Arlo...  | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 8/4/2011 5:21:54 PM |
(m_church) Well, most of us know that the "Puritans' was about their religion not their chastity... LOL History is not always a good argument for past practices... In the Puritan days a child conceived out of wedlock would have no rights or family ties under the law... Through most of history, men and women coupled like animals... A new male would often kill or exile any progeny that were not his... Shall we use that as a guide...? (flyinsolo87) I was merely using it as an example to show that for ages most men and women did not wait for marriage to have sex as you stated.
So they had sex before marriage. Big whoop. It was in a stable relationship. Puritans were not known for "hit-it-and-quit-it" sex. So, your point is...?
Arlo...  | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 8/4/2011 6:49:12 PM |
I know you most likely raised your son right, but how would you react if your son conceived a child with a woman and decided that he didn't want to be involved?
I actually had a similar discussion with him the other day...
I was curious as to why he was throwing out a bunch of unused condom packets... So... I asked, "Why are you tossing them?"
His reply was that he was concerned about them being damaged and or expired, so rather than take a chance he was tossing the lot, and replacing them with new ones...
He takes the whole thing very seriously, and has always been quite responsible... I'd be very surprised if he dumped a woman in that condition... Besides which, he's always liked kids... so he'd probably see having a kid as a good thing... | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 8/4/2011 10:06:13 PM | im a single mum. It wasnt how its supposed to be, but liffe gose on. my child will never know his dad, his dad never saw his child. But its what makes us stronger, you cant judge me because of that?
I think it is a low act to judge someone of there age. Age is just a number.
When yu love someone and are finantually secure and mature to start a family, it dosnt matter how old you are. This is my opinon. Remeber, its the male gender too. | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 8/4/2011 10:19:57 PM | someone I know her dd just turned 19 a few weeks ago..well congrats to her daughter now...she just had her THIRD LAST NIGHT beginning at the nice ripe age of 15!
3 kids by age 19. OMG. Her AND THE DAD no jobs... sighhhh do you see something wrong with this?? I DO. | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 8/6/2011 1:34:43 AM |
When you love someone and are financially secure and mature to start a family
And how many people at the age of 22 are financially secure & mature enough to start a family by the age of 17-21? | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 8/6/2011 11:45:17 AM |
(tiffanyboarding) im a single mum. It wasnt how its supposed to be, but liffe gose on. my child will never know his dad, his dad never saw his child. But its what makes us stronger, you cant judge me because of that?
Now that we've hashed through the "Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?" question, perhaps we should be asking, "Why do so many young single mothers aged 18-22 make such stupid arguments as the one above?"
People are judged every day (often hastily, and almost always before all the facts are known). It's just the way it is. I will ask, yet again, and again without hope of getting a response: instead of agonizing over guys who DON'T wanna date you, for whatever reason, why not put that energy into finding a guy who DOES wanna date you?
Arlo... | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 8/6/2011 7:56:34 PM | Well.. the answer to the original question is simple... They had sex at 17-21years of age.
Why do they make stupid arguments? Because the first question is a stupid one and deserves a stupid answer. And when the stupid answer is given. More people hop in to fight about it. The fighting generally leads to a bunch of non young mothers making overall judgements (based in fact) about the young mothers. So the young mothers as a whole feel judged and Tell you to cut the crap.
As young mothers we're well aware that some other young mothers are frightful idiots. Usually we witness it personally in friends or girls who want to be friends due to our.. shared situation. We're also aware of how bad other daddys are.. and how our daddy rates comparativly. I notice.. the worse the daddy, the more likely is the mom is to fight with you when you generalize her and her situation.
No matter how we came to BE young mothers matters to you. Just that we are. Cause committed nice relationships can be screwed six ways to Sunday; but unlike Puritan women. We choose to leave the situation. Beat your spouse and your kid in 1600? Normal. Beat your kid and spouse today? Mommy leaves your ass.
Nowww... Why women agonize about men that won't date them and put that energy into finding guys? Because Women are VERY good at multitasking. We can whine and snoop at the same time. :) | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 8/12/2011 8:15:17 PM | | Amen! ....To the person who asked this question...my response, for every single mother aged 18-22 their is a father out their somewhere. So there's just as many dads as their is mothers. Its just the mothers usually Stick around! | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 8/13/2011 7:52:04 PM |
See previous posting by myself WRT the difference between BEING AWARE of the risks, and CONSENTING to the risks
Sorry, but the way I see it is that being aware of risks and deciding to take those risks by making the choice to enage in the associated behavior logically implies accepting the responsibility for risks associated with one's behavior. The consent is related to the consequence rather than the mere risk. | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 8/20/2011 6:32:12 PM | | To say that all of us are lazy jobless bums that live off the system is ridiculous. bash my decision making all u want but....i work 70 hours a week to provide for my children and attend classes at my local college so i wont have to keep working 70 hours a week. I work only when my kids r in school or asleep sacraficing my own sleep so that i can be there to help with homework n bathtime and spend time with them before bed. I am not on section 8 or hud or welfare my kids dont get ssi for made up disablities even though my son who has adhd can recieve a check if i apply i refuse because i think its ridiculous he has learning difficulties he is not disabled n i miss no work bc of it. I pay my own daycare. I pay my own sitter when i go out. I own a car and pay all my own bills. Nothing gets shut off. I made some poor choices early on but some of us step up to the plate and handle them without a hand out. I budget my money n my own boss had had to take out a loan from me. U cant stereotype all single parents its the same as any other gender or racial or sexuality based stereotype and its just WRONG. | |
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