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| | Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?Page 31 of 34 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34) |
There are people around if you open your eyes who have got married young and stayed together all their lives- My Ex's parents married at 17 and 16 years old and 53 years later they are still together and there are lots of couples who got married in their late 20s and early 30s, had kids then div0rced. Worse still there are families right now that should NOT be. From the outside they look like the conventional family all cosy but hell is breaking out in doors!
Back in the days, when the marriages that are over 50 years were new, getting divorced was taboo. They couldn't afford them anymore than couples today. In those days, women were not career bound as they are today. They didn't run businesses by themselves, go to college and get a career afterwards, and if they did go to college, they ended up leaving just to get married. So, in those days, if a woman was married, she stayed married because she depended on her husband. Now, divorces can be served up in 3 months. My parents are still married (58 years, my mom was 17 and my dad was 19) and life for them was tough as newlyweds. They were churchgoers, my grandfather being the pastor of the church, and divorce for them would have been a no-no.
As for the couples who should not be together because of the hell busting loose in their homes, different strokes for different folks. No one can say for sure what their motives are for staying together and what their long-term plans are for the marriages---if they are planning to stay together or divorce when the kids are older and out of the house.
So come on Ice, who said the ''Home'' is broken - The girl is working (OK go on turn your nose up cos shes flipping burgers) She is not on welfare. Maybe she likes it there, perhaps the hours fit better with her home life. We cant all be lawyers, doctors or bio chemists. For all you know she may have a supportive family network that is full of love.
Oh and who says she cant better herself educationally - She is only 24 for gods sake !!
within the next 5 years BOTH her kids will be at school and she has time to take on college even if its part time. Who knows maybe she might be Manager of her fast food place then - But then to you that's not good enough Ice.
Shes working, she is looking after her kids - In today's society and economic climate that's two big plus's.
Ice may be harsh by your standards, but she does have a point. It is what it is, a broken home is a home run by a single parent. And it is unrealistic to think that a family of 3 can survive on what a person makes in the fast food industry, even if they make it to manager. As a manager, you are making a salary and have to put in more than 45-50 hours a week. With two small children, keeping them in daycare is expensive. Even after the afterschool program is over for the day, someone would have to come to pick up the child from the program, that means more money for the caregiver. It is hard, but it is doable. At 19, you know as much as you did at 16. At 24, you know just a tiny bit more. Great, that she is working, but if she decides that finding a husband is more important than furthering her education, you can expect her to be just as clueless as she was with her first husband. I was married at 18, and had my eldest son at 19. I missed out on my youth, going to college after high school, and the road up until now was the toughest that I have had to walk. It was not easy, and everyday has a new worry and a new problem. I am almost finished with college and ready for my A.A.S when I turn 43. I am starting life when I should have been enjoying the benefits of a Masters Degree. So, as a person that has been there and in the worst way, I humbly agree with Ice. | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 10/21/2011 2:56:32 PM | She was married for FOUR years ok and clearly was with the guy before that. its YOUR opinion that because she is a single parent her kids therefore come from a broken home - You dont know if its ''broken'' There are some pretty miserable families around where both parents are on good incomes - I have taken several calls as volunteer counsellor from kids who distressed because they never see mum or dad because they work so much - Sure they have the big house and the big car and the 52 inch TV along with the latest games consoles - You think that's the definition of a happy home Lolita?
Who says she is clueless? I have come across some socially retarded fools of 40+ whose idea of parent hood is to say yes to everything the child asks for, who think that giving a child a good smack teaches them respect.
I have a daughter age 19 who lives with her boyfriend and she has blessed me with a grandchild. Do I baby sit for them? Sure I do. Is she happy? Sure she is. Could she be a single parent in a few years time? Who knows but it wont make her a bad mother and it does not mean that if her relationship breaks up then my child has the tag of coming from a broken home because the ''Home'' is no longer defined by a family unit of mum, dad and child.
To me a broken home is one where the occupants are suffering, one where everyday is full of abuse or sadness. So IF my daughters relationship was to fail then she knows she has a strong family support network. The home would not be 'broken' because she would not give her child any less love and the family would be there to ensure that if she needed time out to attend college or go to work she would get it.
How do you know she is paying daycare fees? perhaps her mum happily looks after the kids when she works - Some grandparents actually enjoy doing that. They enjoy the time with the grand kids, they enjoy the satisfaction of knowing that while daughter goes out to work and earns they are helping out.
So when you drive past a big house with a long driveway in a good part of town and you see Mr Wealthy kiss Mrs Wealthy goodbye before getting into his nearly new MPV. His very smartly dressed children waving him off before Mrs Wealthy puts them in her equally flash car and drives off to school - I guess you assume all is wonderful!
Guess what - Its NOT always so.
Guess what - Maybe she doesn't measure her happiness by the dollar. Maybe she earns enough to pay her bills and its enough to have a little left over at the end of the week. Maybe because her job does not stress her out so much she comes home and has good quality time with her kids.
You have no idea at all how her life is going to pan out. You cannot say her kids are impoverished? You cannot measure happiness by the buck. Its not all about materialism!
This girl has said that she was was married at 19 had two kids and as a single parent she holds down a job - What do you want to do? Put the legal age for marriage up to 25. Force abortion on anyone who dares conceive before the age of 26/27/28? Perhaps you could take the children away and put them in the care of Mr and Mrs Wealthy.
IF everyone stayed at school and went to university - You going to guarantee them high powered employment ? Or do you just have over educated MacDonald's or KFC employees?
With the rate of unemployment growing all the time you might find that Masters Degree just makes you one of the educated unemployed ..... | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 10/21/2011 5:47:53 PM | | I had my 1st daughter at 17, i knew enough about sex that if you didn't use bc and a condom everytime you could get pregnant. The simple fact is my ex-husband and i knew the consequences but did it anyways, young teens aren't dumb they know what will happen they just don't think it'll happen to them then it does and they freak out. more girls and this was a life lesson should be required parenting classes boys too just to get an understanding of what it's like but as the saying goes "until you have a kid you truly don't know" so maybe if parents were more involved with their kids and spoke frequently about the result of a baby being born young teens might not have any, my mom should me what a great mom is she didn't show me how costly things for a baby were so that's where the parents fail. my daughters will know so they can make the correct decisions in life. | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 10/22/2011 11:52:47 PM | | I certainly do not feel as if my home is broken. I do not think that my children feel that way either. Yeah, it would be better if they still had Dad, but they have incredibly blessed & fortunate lives. A devoted loving Mother, a devoted loving Father Figure, loving & devoted Grandparents on both my side of the family & their Fathers side of the family, Aunts, & Uncles, & a handful of little cousins in their age group to play with, as well as extremely intelligent, educated, & loving school staff, they have a plethora of people who love them. They are well loved, well cared for, & well provided for. They have certainly not had it 100% easy due to what we went through, but they have a wonderful life & home & are very happy at the moment. Nothing is broken about my sweet little family. | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 10/23/2011 10:41:14 PM | It is so unjust to make assumptions about ANY female or male in the world who has a child before marriage, before a certain age, or any other taboo ideal. Why?
Simply because that is not our place to make judgements for any reason...
I am 22, and just had my first son April of this year, and I am also single and his father plays no role in his life because he is in jail. So you are going to tell me that I shouldn't receive assistance from the government? On what grounds? | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 10/24/2011 3:53:41 AM | ^^She's got a baby so she'd hardly have the time to run his bathwater let alone do everything else. This is her fantasy, unless she's planning on adopting out her child - coz there's no room for a baby in that scenario.
But if it is a fantasy, surely it's the weirdest one ever. I think back to those early days and bathing a man, then rubbing him with lotion before massaging his body every night - nah. No way. That's what I did to my baby. Who wants a grown baby around when you've got already got the sole and unrelenting responsibility of the real thing? Girl, you've got to be joshing us here. | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 10/24/2011 6:22:44 AM | LOL jeeze people just because it doesn't happen to you doesn't mean it doesn't happen to other people, and yes she has a baby but guess what THEY SLEEP
There are people out there that are total spoilers and providers who do whatever they can to make their partner happy, regardless of the reasoning it happens | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 10/24/2011 3:04:00 PM | ^^^
You are a very bitter lady aren't you??. How sad 
There is a type for everyone even the lady your insulting. Just because it is not a relationship you would be part of doesn't mean it wouldn't work in a positive way for someone else. Lots of people are givers and allot of people are grateful for it
After all you claim to not be single so anything is possible right?
Just one question where is your partner when you're on a dating site all day & night? | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 10/24/2011 6:44:43 PM |
Was there any part of that post by QueenBee you didnt grasp Lola?
AGAIN, a broken home is a home with just one parent in it!!!. How I view things and others is called an OPINION. NO ONE said that a broken family contained misfits, undernourished, and lawbreakers. My kids are well-taken care of, educated, and law-abiding citizens. None of my sons ever needed for everything. But, yes, the home was broken in that their father didn't live there.
Do not suggest I have issues, you dont know me ? I was far from hijacking the thread, do not make this personal - Just read the thread -
I would most likely say that you do! If anyone made it personal, it was you. Remember, it was the OP and her thread, not yours, for you to keep getting at me.
I would be interested in any comeback you have on that post.
Figures, someone who blows hot air and has to hope on a flame war on someone else's post. Get a life, Pete. | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 10/24/2011 8:45:55 PM | 1.I never made anything personal - Where have I made a personal attack on you?
2. No one is attacking anyones post - I have my opinion and thats it.
You say a child that comes from a single parent family comes from a broken home - This is 2011 not 1911. I stand by my points that far from a home being broken there are many many women (and men) who have brought children up on their own in a far less ''broken'' environment than a warring, squabbling abusive pair of parents.
Your idea of ''Broken home'' in my opinion is not valid in todays society. It is as offensive to some as the words Queer and Poof are to gay people. It is as offensive to some single parents as spastic retard, mong and other such derogatory definitions are to people with special needs.
I stand by my posts I wasnt getting at YOU, lose the chip on your shoulder lola | |
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amblar
| | Joined: 10/22/2011
Msg: 764 | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 10/25/2011 10:06:02 PM |
AGAIN, a broken home is a home with just one parent in it!!!.
Actually, a broken home is one that used to contain 2 parents, but now only has one parent...
It cannot be broken if it never was....
But, yes, the home was broken in that their father didn't live there.
Only if he did at one time....
I don't honestly see a single parent home as being broken... I've seen a lot of dysfuntional 2 parent homes... even a couple of 4 parent homes that were even more dysfunctional....
There are a lot of single moms (and dads) who provide a real home... not one that needs to be qualified as broken etc.... | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 10/25/2011 10:13:41 PM | | I completely agree with the above. I am obviously a single mom, yes I lived with my ex, and yes I was the one to leave, however had a stayed it would have been unsafe for my children and myself. To me THAT is more of a broken home then a 1 parent family. JMO though. | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 10/26/2011 5:09:40 AM | How narrow minded! You have no idea why people in this age range are parents and it isn't just single mums you know, where do you think the fathers are?!?!?! I am 23 and am a single mum to my son, because the man I lived with, loved and thought I'd spend the rest of my life with couldn't keep it in his pants! Yes I am currently living on benefits and get a grand total of £100 a week as his father can't be bothered to cough up any money! I am living with my mum as I don't want to sponge a council house off of the taxpayers when I don't need to! I am studying and trying to better myself so that once my son is at nursery I can start a good career and provide for him myself!
It is not a new thing to have kids young anyway, people have always had children early it's just that nowadays men are happy to cheat on their partners and go off and leave them to pick up the pieces! | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 10/26/2011 5:23:48 AM | | There are many many women (and men) who have brought children up on their own in a far less ''broken'' environment than a warring, squabbling abusive pair of parents. or in a relationship where one is cheating, gambling, drinking to the extent that there is no longer a relationship functioning of any kind and the only choice to be made is to leave. | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 10/26/2011 6:00:40 AM |
It is not a new thing to have kids young anyway, people have always had children early it's just that nowadays men are happy to cheat on their partners and go off and leave them to pick up the pieces!
It's not that men are happy to cheat nowadays. There have always been a segment of the population who are like that. It's that women NO LONGER have to put up with it. Historically, women in bad situations were stuck. Now we have a choice...
Personally, I think that it's that last part that has so many people upset about single mothers. They want a return to the "good old days". | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 10/26/2011 6:49:24 AM | Just my 2 cents, but it has been my experience that women are just as likely to cheat on a partner as men are and its not like it is a new thing just easier as they don't have to wait for the milk man like grandma used to
Personally i would never cheat for any reason id like to think that is the popular belief | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 10/27/2011 3:29:36 PM | i am 22 a single parent too a 4&5 yr old so had my daughter at 17 and you know wt i work 12 hr nights to support my children i dont get a penny so you narrow minded ppl have no idea! and the reasoon i am single is because of domestic violence!! surely it is better for my children to b safe and only have one parent than seei9ng violence!!
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 7/2/2012 7:44:28 PM | Reelax, I understand where you're coming from. I too have noticed that there are A LOT of great looking women who I'd love to try and date on here, but when I see they already have children and they're 25 I get turned right off.
I'll be the first one to admit that I shouldn't judge a woman who already has kids because all it takes is one time and *boop* preggo! But from what I'm seeing on here these women are having kids as accessories or something.
Call me old fashioned, but that's how I see it too. You're not alone. | |
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