| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 2/15/2009 6:32:48 PM | | That mostly has to do with the other part of that equation...if you're going to ask this question why don't you ask the question "Where are the fathers to these children?" at the same time. A woman who is a single parent at a young age is yes unfortunate but obviously there is a man out there somewhere who added to that situation to procreate. People women and men need to think about who they sleep with and the consequences of that action before they do it. Also BIRTH CONTROL PEOPLE! Single mothers should be commended for being proud of taking care of their children. Any woman who is ashamed of their children should be ashamed of herself first. I believe as long as men live up to their duties we wouldn't have so many single mothers. | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 2/16/2009 1:09:24 AM | Why is their so many single mothers aged 18-22
Well becouse the father didnt stick around to be a family..
She doesnt know who the father is
Their is so many reasons why they are single mums! Their are single mums in their 30s 40s 50s who have been single mothers since day 1. Becouse theyr older. They are maturer?
I think not! Its not the fact of havin unprotective sex
Some have children becouse they want kids (most ppl marry just for the big piss up now a days so why wait to spend all that money to be broke when then child does come along?... itl soon put a strain on the relationship. Next theyl b signing divorce letters!) I did the right thing. I waited till i got married... Yeah now ur a divorced single parent...
Their is no right way to bringin a child into the world
Kids with one parent do just as well as kids with both parents
Kids who have both parents but are not in a relationship arnt or shouldnt be classed as single parents.
A kid who doesnt see their mother or father then are for, a single parent!
It doesnt matter what age you have them
As people say now adays when they want to be with someone older/younger. AGE IS JUST A NUMBER!
Its the people who are havin kids to get money to fed their drug habbits that are doing it the wrong way! Not us single parents who have a steady/clean home to bring our kids up in | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 2/16/2009 9:15:24 AM | aniceman,
Why do I ask? Because i want to know. Unless these people are somehow directly inconveniencing you, then it's not your problem and it's not the OP's problem either. Surely there are some more useful ways to spend your time than pointing fingers. | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 2/16/2009 3:29:48 PM | | Thankyou, somone that is actually making sense! I'm 20 and single and i do a god damn good job at raising my son! I dont screw the system and i work extremely hard! I didnt ask to be put in this situation but i wouldn't change it for the world! Yes it's extremely hard but its worth it. | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 2/17/2009 2:36:55 PM | OP,
*Some women at a early age want a kid so some get pregnant on purpose
*Some men refuse to use condoms and to women will let them
*Some men and women believe if he pull out in time then they want get pregnant
*Some women do not take birth control
*Some women tell men they're on birth control even though they are not
*Some people do not put the condom on right so it increases the chances of it breaking
*Some men lie about putting on a condom
*Some condoms are manufactured wrong
*Some condoms ware out because they are old or left in the hot glove department of the car
*Some are couples that want to have a baby | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 2/17/2009 7:06:04 PM | | Well I had my daughter a month after my 19th birthday and there were a few reasons for that. First of all I was in a comited long term relationship and have always been mature for my age. Abortion was never something I could even think about and neither was adoption. But I do think you are making way too big a deal of it because considering the divorce rate half of us would probably end up being single moms just at a different age | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 2/17/2009 8:45:45 PM | | Well I guess I will tell you a little about me before I answer this question. I was 16 when I got pregnant and 17 when I had my son. I finished High school, I am now going to school full time and working full time to give my son the best life possible. He may not have everything he wants, but he has everything he needs. Very true, it does take two people to make a baby, and also true many girls choose to keep the baby with the hope that the guy will stick around. My sons dad has nothing to do with his son, and that is for the best. He was an abusive guy, which I would never want my son around. But on your point about so many single moms being content with being a mother at a young age. I become a mother at a young age, I made the choice to have sex, so I would never of had an abortion, but I didn't give him up for adoption. I kept him and because of having him, I grew up very fast. I didn't get to be a teenager but, I would never trade him for the world. So I guess the point I am trying to make is, most of these single mothers never planned to be mothers at a young age, but looking into the eyes of that perfect little child, makes everything seem ok. I am in no way saying that being a single mother is easy, being a married couple with kids is hard. Being a teenager is hard enough as it is, let alone adding a kid to the mix. Kids should not being having kids, but it happens and it is going to continue to happen. Being a single mother myself, I am perfectly happy being a single mother of a 3 yr old at 20 yrs old, it has its moments but he brings joy to my life everyday. Which is why I am perfectly content being a mother at such a young age. It is not like I can go back in time and change, nor would I ever want to. I am a stronger person today because of my choices and my son doesn't not suffer due to my choice. | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 2/18/2009 3:06:53 PM | My mother had her children when she was 20 and was married. My parents divorced 20 years later. It isnt uncommon now days, but i do wonder about the uh 14-17 yr old girls that are single mothers. Im 20, soon to be 21, i had my daughter when i was 19. It was my choice to keep her, and yes i am very content with it. Of course i would have rather waited until i was done school, but life does have a tendency once in a while to throw a curve ball lol.
I have been chasitised since i was pregnant for making my choice. Especially on this site i have, but i am keeping my head up. Because as i have read in previous posts, marriage, isnt that common anymore, and divorce is very common, and so is young mothers. Times have changed. Im not going to say that it is a good change, but i can only speak for myself.
Before i got pregnant i was heading in the wrong direction in life, was with the wrong guy that was abusive. Once i found out i was pregnant i stopped everything. Even broke up with the father. I have made my best effort into giving my daughter a better life then what i had. And i will continue to do so.
In my towns in Alberta Canada, there has been a big number in babybooms, literally almost every girl i went to highschool with now has or having a child. ( i swear its the water) lmao.
I will admitt some mothers i know my age, arent or werent ready for a child, because they are still out partying all the time, every day of the weekend starting from thursday to saturday night. I go out as well, but not nearly as much, once a week, even to go to the movies.
Sometimes i sit and think that really children should wait till your older and more mature, because in your early 20's your jsut expierencing life. But sometimes, women wait to long, my aunt waited way to long, she is now in her 40's and cant have children.
So really i dont think there is a right age to have children. | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 2/23/2009 10:42:32 AM | I think maybe you are missing the all the males who had a hand in it.
I will generalize, becuase I know not all young men this age range feel or act this way.
Boys that age, seem not to care about what comes along 9 months after their wonderful night.
Some of these boys seem content walking on and not being involved until a few years later.
Some boys need to be responsible, and probably need to have other things, like anger, kept in check.
Some of these boys had role models of dead beat dads.
And finally, what do you want the you women to do, say "I hate being a mother at such a young age and I am miserable" or would you rather love their children and find some sort of peace in their spot in life.
I opped for the ladder, they are raising the future of this nation and this planet. | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 2/23/2009 1:22:40 PM | Firstly i was pregnant with my son Jamie at 17 he wasn't planned i was on the pill and it failed! After a few weeks conversation a JOINT decision to keep the baby was made! My little boy is 3 yrs old me and his dad have split up, im not on benefits, i have a good job that i enjoy, a lovely home and a gorgeous curteous little boy with manners!
It makes me angry that because i was so young when i had my son people jump to conclusions! That i am either too young to be a good parent or a jumped up little chav who only got pregnant to get a council flat and benefits!
I would also like to add my precious ex-boyfriend who is 8 yrs older than me now can't be bothered to see or contact his son regularly! Yet everyone judges me on my age! Age has nothing to do with anything it is all about being responsible! | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 2/23/2009 4:27:16 PM | | THE REASON WHY THERE SINGLE IS BECAUSE THE KNUCKLE HEADS THAT THEY THOUGHT WERE ALL THAT AND A BAG OF CHIPS TURN OUT TO BE A JUST SUM GUY .I PRAISE YOU GIRL U DID WAT U GOTTA DO TO TAKE CARE YOU AND YOUR LIL 1. ND TELL THE OTHERS TO MIND THETRE BIZZ.I HAVE TWINS BOY /GIRL 12 AND THEY LIVE WIT THERE MOM IN S.C. N THAT DNT STOP ME FROM BE THE GREATES DAD I CAN BE .THEN WE HAVE THE DADS THAT MAKE THE BABY AND N GET GHOST.IF YOUR BABY DADDY PAYIN AND SEE IS CHILD THEN THATS A DAD .IF NOT THEN HIS LOST AND THAT S ASHAME CUZ SOME DADS DO THAT BUT YOU GO GIRL AND ALL THE OTHER SINGLE YOUNG MOMS OUT THERE DNT LISTEN 2 THE NEG. THINGS THT PEOPLE THAT DNT NO U HAVE 2 SAY ABOUT U.THERE OPIONS DONT COUNT | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 2/23/2009 5:22:22 PM | | Thank you Teresa!!! I got pregnant at 17 and worked up till I gave birth to my daughter, even though her father and I were still together, I worked, and continued to work once my daughter turned a year old. I've now been a single mom for the last 5 years, and just because you are a single mom doesn't mean anyone won't hire you! I was hired as a assistant Manager for Starbucks when I was 22. I worked there up until this last summer and then worked construction. And as you said daycare can be almost free, and as for " living off the system" I think it's bullsh*t! There is no reason what so ever to live off the system! You decided to have that baby, you provide for that baby! Don't rely on everyones else and the goverment to take care of that baby for you! There have been times that the only time I've seen my daughter was to put her to bed, because I work my ass off to provide for her! So now here I am 25 working part time and going to school! | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 2/23/2009 7:38:11 PM | Well, from my point of view as a 18 year old single mother, I should of just used protection. I was at the time in a relationship with a man who was of good friend of 6 years so by the time we dated, we trusted each other. I never imagined having children in my life. Just wasn't my thing, and if i were to i wasn't planning untill at least 26 years old. But i was yooung and niave. and although the father and I did not work out, we are stil friends and he see's his son regularily.
It may be disturbing in some peoples view's, but also.. We/they were youngg at the time. Getting pregnant really changed my life; and made me get my shit together.
It was the best thing that ever happened to me.
In some cases i believe young pregnancy (wether with the father or not) is great, in order to change someone life. I dont believe in abortion but i have heard some cases where the mothers just should of done it, other than becoming a single mother crack head or something sick like that.
And one more point which is more so on the point of this topic;
Although i fit into this "young single mother" topic.. Most teenagers are not MATURE enough to make things workwith their partner or do not know the proper way to go about it.
I know, i wnt about it the wrong way. but am doing better than ever. | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 2/23/2009 10:00:48 PM | well i had my son when i was 16 and have been a single mom ever since, its not my fault that the father is a dead beat an decided to go and hide from what is his too, and yea im content with it cuz its not goin to change so im not goin to spend my whole life depressed over it,
and even when ppl have babys after 25 they can still be single parents,
and alot of teen moms are very good at raising there kids,
i live in a two basment apartment, gust finished high school and am now doing an aprentice ship programe in a daycare well my son is at daycare, and we have NO help from any one else | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 2/24/2009 7:50:50 AM | | I had my daughter at 19, my then g/f was 17. We stayed together, married, had a second kid, and then she left me for another guy. We just had sex young. That's all. Everyone wants to fall in love at that age and everyone wants to experience all that love has to offer. Or they just like sex. Either of those plus a desire to be a mom and/or not believing in abortion sums it up IMO. | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 2/24/2009 12:22:15 PM | | some of us single mothers cant keep a job because daycare is too much and our families wont help us. our families disown us because we got pregnant at a young age... i have a 2 year old son that i love dearly and his father wont step up... i have no choice but to live on state aid.. ive tried going to school and to keep a full-time job....but its hard with noone there to help me with my son... i have had a man in my life to help me out with my son but he left.. try walking in our shoes this day in age and see if you can make it.. without a man or without a degree at least i have my high school diploma.. | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 2/24/2009 12:32:33 PM | "some of us single mothers cant keep a job because daycare is too much and our families wont help us. our families disown us because we got pregnant at a young age... i have a 2 year old son that i love dearly and his father wont step up... i have no choice but to live on state aid.. ive tried going to school and to keep a full-time job....but its hard with noone there to help me with my son... i have had a man in my life to help me out with my son but he left.. try walking in our shoes this day in age and see if you can make it.. without a man or without a degree at least i have my high school diploma.."
Would you like some cheese to go with that wine? How about, work from home, work at a day care facility or at least take on line classes at home instead of being on POF while on state help! O I forgot you need a man or a degree. | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 2/24/2009 6:28:18 PM | Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. However, I find it extremely discouraging and unfair if you will, to be directing this towards a certain age group or sex (this is completely biased).
I am a single mom and I gave birth to my daughter when I was 16 years old. Yes, I dropped out of high school....and yes, I went back and graduated a year later. I will add to that the fact that I was high school valedictorian and I finished grades 11 and 12 in one year. I do not live off the system, I have a full time salaried job and I will be attending school to get my bachelor's degree in a few months. Being a single parent is difficult at any age and it is not about the mistakes that people make, it is about what they make of their mistakes.
In saying all of this I do not agree with single parents staying at home and "living off of the system". Parents who do this are not setting a very good example for their children and in my opinion lack motivation.
I also want to add to this....for the guys that think single moms are looking for a guy to raise their children, many of us have done this for a long while on our own and are looking for that someone who compliments our personality. I will not say that there are not girls out there like this (looking to leech onto a guy for their money), but all single mothers cannot be placed into the same category as far as this or any other matter goes.
Who cares if you are 16,23,31, or 40? If you are capable of raising a child and you choose to do so then who is anybody else to judge you for doing this? Unless a parent is not giving a child everything that it needs I do not see the problem.
How about the 60 year old lady that just gave birth to twins in Calgary? Now let's talk about that....she probably won't even be around to see her children reach 25. | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 2/24/2009 6:42:08 PM |
i have no choice but to live on state aid..
Everything you do is a choice. Yes, you have a choice to not be on welfare.
ive tried going to school and to keep a full-time job....but its hard with noone there to help me with my son
So just work until he is in school full time, then further your education. So what if it takes a few extra years? You have a son. Make good decisions and prioritize. Think of the next 18 years not the current moment.
i have had a man in my life to help me out with my son but he left
So learn from it. Take care of yourself and your son on your own. Stop waiting for someone else to take care of you and your family and grow up and do it for yourself.
try walking in our shoes this day in age and see if you can make it.
Been there, and made it :) Change your attitude, stop telling yourself you CAN'T do it. Instead of talking about what you are GOING to do, actually DO something and then tell others what you have done. You will feel a whole lot better about yourself, your confidence in parenting your child will improve, and life on the whole will improve dramatically. In this day and age, women and single parents have countless options available to them, much moire than 40 or even 30 years ago.
Work as much as you can during the day. When your son goes to bed, invest 2 hours every evening on a distance-learning or on-line educational certificate. Talk to your welfare office and ask them if they will, instead of paying you welfare, assist with the cost of your education while you work. Look for options. Stop taking the easy way out and complaining about hard it is. You had your child. Take responsibility and start taking care of your family's future. | |
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| Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 2/26/2009 12:42:34 AM | I understand that everyone has they're opinions and that is great that your daughter decided to save herself for marrage. I congragulate her on that and I wish her the best. Her life will be focused and I know that she will do great things.
What I don't agree with is that fact that you lump ALL single young moms in the same broke down category! I am 21 years old and I have 2 beautiful, smart girls. Their father is a great guy but I learned to late and just in time that he wasn't for me. We are seperated and he has NOTHING to do with my girls. Personally I love it like that. They are MY kids! I don't have to answer to anyone when it comes to how they are raised and with us being apart, I don'thave to take the chance of some guy breaking my kids heart when he cancels their weekend together.
I am a ballroom dance instuctor and I am a server part time. I pay all my bills and I don't need help from the state. I have a career and I LOVE what I do. My goal is to own my own studio and be able to just handle the business side of things. I didn't need to go to college for anything but I am starting nursing school next semister. I don't need to, but it is another passion of mine that I want to persue. The funny thing is I never considered becoming a nurse, but it was when I had my girls that I realized that I would be great at it and the full feeling you can get from helping someone and being the strength and comfort for someone hurting and scared would be very rewarding for me. The major difference that no one understands between a job and a career is the passion. I have 2 careers; a dancer and a server. I love both of them and soon I will be working on my third passion. A job is just something you do because you need to pay your bills. If you love your "job" enough you would do it for free and THAT is what makes it a career. No one that has a career needs a job!
The problem with most girls is they refuse to step up and do what they have to do. The only old fashioned values needed is the knowledge that your children come first. I don't care if you are 16 or 60, if your child needs help for whatever reason, you must sacrafice whatever is necissary to help them. I know women that are in their 40's and they still don't understand that but on the other hand I have a friend that is close to my age that I concider a better mom than most.
I also don't think it's fair to sit here and talk down about young moms and how they are screwing up when this country is completely littered with dead beat dads that are too lazy to actually make an effort when it comes to their kids. My own father is a perfect example and the backbone to my belief that NO woman needs a man to raise kids. He is working on his third marrage. Both women have kids and they were always more important than his own children. He would call on holidays to keep up appearances and he sent for us during the summer because he was court ordered to. If someone wasn't making him give a crap about us, he wouldn't. We were out of sight, out of mind and he liked it that way. I'm sorry, but I strongly believe that until the male species can step up and prove that "they can do anything we can do better" then they do not have a foot to stand on when it comes to single moms of ANY age! | |
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