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 elenic
Joined: 5/30/2009
Msg: 74
She's Too Into You!Page 4 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Someone who is "into you" at first can be very flattering. but after awhile it can bring the entire relationship off balance. People do need room to breath, be themsevles.

You can get lost in relationship. I can attest to this. Soemone was I was dating came on very strong a first. Wanted to spend all his free time with me, called several times a day. He kind of took over my life for several months.

I wish I had the sense to back it off early on.

But pretty much as soon as I was on board and as into him he did the cool down. Played hot and cold. Unsure if he really loved me or not.

I now seen someone who comes on so strong a real red flag. It's simply not normal or healthy. If you fall for it either you get someone who is very controlling or someone who likes to play games with your emotinons or someone who is too needy.

I think both parties should maintain balance and give space. It's easy to get caught up especially if you haven't dated in a while. Just take it slow and that seems to be the best way to avoid problems.
 Mahogany-Rush
Joined: 7/23/2009
Msg: 75
She's Too Into You!
Posted: 9/25/2009 4:33:54 PM

What is it that a gal does who is "too into you" that makes it a turn off for you?
on the third date, she's introducing you to her maid of honor, and asking who is your best man?
 babybear1015
Joined: 8/22/2009
Msg: 76
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She's Too Into You!
Posted: 10/7/2009 4:26:36 AM
i really agree with ur saying
 pablo147
Joined: 2/3/2008
Msg: 77
She's Too Into You!
Posted: 10/7/2009 5:04:31 AM
wishes, you want an honest answer? here it is, every different man has his own different `limit` to what he will put up with, it can get annoying if someone is in your face constantly yes, but if you love that person you tolerate it, usually its a cop out or an excuse to finish with you, ive read lots of guys replies there and sorry guys your talking rubbish, he he, sorry if im letting the boys down here but admit it, one guy said ringing you 80 somethin times a day, but trust me if angelina jolie was ringing them 80 somethin times a day or doing anything else the other guys were saying, believe me they will `tolerate` it, if fact, they would frikkin love it! there you go, an honest answer from an honest guy
 whatsallthis
Joined: 5/1/2008
Msg: 78
She's Too Into You!
Posted: 10/7/2009 5:35:36 AM
I'd rather have too much attention than not enough or none, which is what I have now.
The idea of having a companion, at least for me, is to have and give attention, and do things together. Lots of things. I have been alone long enough, or if not, involved in a way that wasn't going anywhere. I would be making up for lost time. Then again, I am not like most men. Whether that is bad or good remains to be seen.
 marc100000
Joined: 2/24/2009
Msg: 79
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She's Too Into You!
Posted: 10/7/2009 7:16:25 AM
Here are a few less obvious ones than calling 900 times a day or stalking.

1. Person calls you gets your voicmail leaves a long message and then afterwards calls you again. 2or 3 calls in a row isnt a big deal but if its done always it shows a sign of depsperation or someone who is over anxious.
2. someone who always asks you how your family/friends are .- normally this is extremely nice and caring behaviour and if one of them is ill one of the first things i want is someone who will ask how they are. It weirds me out though when a girl asks me almost every day how my mom is when she never met her and she is doing fine.
It also makes me feel this sense of guilt that I really dont care about her family too much unless they are ill to find out how they are doing.
3. tries to impress you by knowing information about you which you said once ,looked up on the internet or remembered something your friend said about you.
one girl asked me what color hair my ex from a long time ago had and a few basic personality qs about her.
next day she thought i would be so impressed that she knew who she was on my faecbook list.
4.Thinks you are so great and have so much unlimited potetential . they eventually will label you as a lazy underachiever who will never amount to anything
 Childlike Wonder
Joined: 8/29/2009
Msg: 80
She's Too Into You!
Posted: 10/7/2009 7:21:18 AM

I now seen someone who comes on so strong a real red flag. It's simply not normal or healthy. If you fall for it either you get someone who is very controlling or someone who likes to play games with your emotinons or someone who is too needy.

I think both parties should maintain balance and give space. It's easy to get caught up especially if you haven't dated in a while. Just take it slow and that seems to be the best way to avoid problems.


^^^^^you really have a good grasp on this. I've been there too and have to remind myself not to get caught up in the rush of excitement when someone seems really into me. It feels great, the way eating a big piece of cake feels great right up until you feel kind of sick from all of the sugar.

For all of the ones (he's and she's) who are too into you, there seem to be an equal number of hard-to-gets that may in fact inspire you to become needy when you meet someone you like. I think what it all boils down to is when you meet someone and you are both comfortable with the pace, then you're on to something. You won't have to worry about him calling too often or her wanting to spend every weekend together. It will just happen naturally.
 MetalVixxn
Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 81
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She's Too Into You!
Posted: 10/7/2009 7:36:11 AM
Hmm, I don't know...
Even if someone was obnoxiously into you, planning the wedding on the second date - if you felt the same way, that obviously wouldn't be too much. I think it's only when we don't share the same level of interest that we feel someone is "too into" us.

I'm crazy about my boyfriend and if he called me 7 times a day I wouldn't have a problem with it. I wouldn't think he was "too" into me. However, if it was someone I just felt "ehh" about, more than one call a day would probably have me throwing up the he's too into me (Although I've never used that) when really, I just wasn't into him even a little.

People have given example of people who are "too into" them - calling a few times and leaving long messages and then calling back or texting... that's true, but yet if you were into them, those calls would never happen because you'd make time to answer or get back to them ASAP...
I don't think I am conveying my point but it's early and I've barely had any coffee...
 Disposablehero38
Joined: 8/19/2009
Msg: 82
She's Too Into You!
Posted: 10/7/2009 7:55:06 AM
This leave's me questioning something. What do both men and women consider to be a fair time with there SOA. Also what do they consider to be a fair time together at different times during the relationship. Such as X many hours for the first month or 2, X many of hours for 2-4 months etc...
 OnDMove
Joined: 4/10/2009
Msg: 83
She's Too Into You!
Posted: 10/7/2009 8:14:31 AM
"What is it that a gal does who is "too into you" that makes it a turn off for you?"

If she's the right one...there's no such thing! I'm greedy. I don't want her to keep her hands off me...
 scottsm
Joined: 9/20/2009
Msg: 84
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She's Too Into You!
Posted: 10/7/2009 10:36:45 AM
Oh let me think, I had a friend who:

Photo shopped my head on to a super heroes body... and showed it to me.
Photo shopped me on to a body builder and put it in her locker
She would actually collect my hair.
She pulled out my leg hair whenever I had shorts on and put it into her biblet (Which really hurt)
Tell everyone that I was her hero
Was really clingy
Asked for me to take a picture mostly naked (Hell no, that is something I will never do, and it is not a confidence problem)
Would pet my head
Took photos of me from afar...

Shall I go on? I am still friends with her, but she killed all interest I had in being with her by being way too into me... and really eccentric. So yeah, it is a turn off.
 seaga
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 85
She's Too Into You!
Posted: 10/7/2009 12:33:49 PM

A man told me that women who are too into him scare him off because they are idolizing him, making a fantasy of him, in love with their own vision of him...he said there's always a big let down when he doesn't measure up and also they are usually then pissed as hell and start attacking him for ruining their fantasy of him. He said give me a woman who likes me over some crazed lusting trying to stroke his ego...I tend to feel the same way about men full of phony complements and instant love. It just isn't real and it's going to implode at some point, leaving you sprayed with the fallout


I absolutely agree with what that man said. I usually have the same experience..infact, I am having that same issue now with someone...the minute i dont do something that i was "suppose" to do or something that I "usually" do..its HELL!! I cant miss a beat ..

Now dont get me wrong, I dont have a problem per se with someone being clingy to me..infact it can be a nice feeling, so long as they dont take it to the "extreme" and go above and beyond what is necessary.
 Arabianangel
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 86
She's Too Into You!
Posted: 10/7/2009 2:57:30 PM
I think this quote from Khalil Gibran sums it all up...

You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.
Ay, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.


Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.


Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.


I think SPACE is the key word here.
 Childlike Wonder
Joined: 8/29/2009
Msg: 87
She's Too Into You!
Posted: 10/7/2009 5:36:51 PM

This leave's me questioning something. What do both men and women consider to be a fair time with there SOA. Also what do they consider to be a fair time together at different times during the relationship. Such as X many hours for the first month or 2, X many of hours for 2-4 months etc...


That's just it. There is no set time or amount of contact that is the norm. The idea is to find someone who meshes with your desired levels.
 Denali1
Joined: 1/25/2009
Msg: 88
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She's Too Into You!
Posted: 10/7/2009 6:01:47 PM
One person's normal is anothers needy or clingy, but this is what it means to me.

More than a few text's a day is a problem--I work, don't have time to answer a bunch of texts.

Constant calls just to say "Hi."

I have a life to lead, so constant communication when we are not together doesn't necessarily make us closer.
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 89
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She's Too Into You!
Posted: 10/7/2009 6:10:52 PM
When it's a young guy saying that about a girl, it usually means he slept with her too soon, no boundaries have been established, and she is thinking he's her prince charming because she hasn't seen what an azz he really may be. He's too much of a wimp to sit down with her and establish boundaries and find out what kind of a relationship they each want. If all he wants from her is a booty call now and then, tell her and let her make an informed decision if that's not what she wants. He would rather go around bragging and building his ego and making her look like a fool.

If it's older guy complaining, he's lost his damn mind. That would be like complaining about having too much money.

 Chitownguy40
Joined: 9/29/2009
Msg: 90
She's Too Into You!
Posted: 10/7/2009 9:53:39 PM
Personally, I think "too into you" is code for, "I've got some other women I'd like to check out besides you, and I don't want you getting in the way of that." Can't be sure, of course. But I'm thinkin' yeah.
 meloff
Joined: 8/8/2009
Msg: 91
She's Too Into You!
Posted: 10/7/2009 10:48:28 PM
Dunno I'm wanting a lady to be too into me.Might even like having a stalker.
 hgy/gypsy
Joined: 9/28/2009
Msg: 92
She's Too Into You!
Posted: 10/7/2009 10:59:22 PM
It doesn't have to be one sided like that. Yes a woman that's "all up in my damn business" can be quit irritating. But also remember that men have many layers to them. He may carry himself a certain way, talk a certain way, do certain things and hang around certain people that create an image, in which you may believe he's this cool guy, or secure guy, or confident guy, but when a woman actually treats him good and gives him the honor a "good man deserves"(and vica versa) he doesn't know how to handle it and his true colors come out......He's a whiney little ****.
 tamzin01
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 93
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She's Too Into You!
Posted: 10/8/2009 4:23:32 AM
I think it's all down to our individual needs, but do think (male or female) you would be pleased to hear from someone who ignites you, so to speak. If you're always desperate to get off the phone and are constantly trying to avoid who you're dating, then why are you with them? Why not just opt out of a relationship that doesn't really cut it for you and look for someone who does light your fire? I think "neediness" is borne in the person on the receiving end feeling a bit bewildered by this behaviour and wanting to be reassured, while their other half gets more frustrated because they are just "making do" whilst not being that into the person they're with and don't really feel much inclined to pay them attention. They want to have a date for plus one functons whilst officially able to keep their eyes out for the Angel(ina) fish. And you only have to look at the sorry state that is Brad Pitt these days to see that some guys are never happy, even when they've got what they thought they wanted! Of course this applies to women too, but you get the picture.
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