| Do most women hate sex, and only do it to please men?
Posted: 1/4/2009 12:45:07 PM | Re posts 68 and 74 as they relate to the Opost:
From post 68:
"I for one am neither prey nor a predator....I am simply a woman who truly loves sex."
From post 74:
"I wish I could say that - it would sound so good and politically correct. But, I can't. For the most part, I am a predator..."
I can say that, and that is not necessarily "PC", IMO:
I am neither a predator or prey ....I am simply a man who truly loves great sex and great conversation (think "symposium", ie drinks, eating and philosophising) with a modern woman (ie a woman who is independent and has an interest in civics and the world, not in creating a traditional "household").
------
From post 68:
"I could not be happy longterm if the sex wasn't good. Even if everything else was good."
From post 74:
"Exactly. Everything but the good sex (or desire to find out) is a real good friendship, basically, not that there's anything wrong with those."
True, but good sex w/o the addition of real good friendship with the same person is IMO only a glass half full.
Good discussion!
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| Do most women hate sex, and only do it to please men?
Posted: 1/4/2009 1:02:28 PM |
But then there's my evil twin sister. Hey, you think I'M the predator? She literally eats them up after she's finished using them, then uses their urethras as dental floss....
Wildman, good topic for heated debate. Let the denials flow.................and the gender bashing begin...
FriendlyFreeSpirit, wow, you gave me a woody. | |
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| Do most women hate sex, and only do it to please men?
Posted: 1/4/2009 1:13:24 PM | Believe me. Other women like myself, DJ and FreeSpirit... probably don't like those threads anymore than you do.
Tell me about it, El. So over-done, don't you think? Women hate ------ Men like --------.
And whiny threads from either gender - well, I suppose it's something to feel superior about.
FriendlyFreeSpirit, wow, you gave me a woody
Then, OutMind, my work here is done.....
Let's  | |
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| Do most women hate sex, and only do it to please men?
Posted: 1/4/2009 1:22:41 PM | | Personally I love sex as do most of my female friends, I don't like to be used just for sex as there is so much more to me than just my ability to have sex but if you have a one night stand with a man then you are doing it for only one reason because you want sex and if you are a booty call or a FB it is because you love having sex and have found someone who loves sex as much as you but there are none of the strings of a relationship, but these are choices you are using the man just as much as he is using you. Admitadly women do get more emotionally involved and so a booty call or FB can turn into more for a woman because we may tend to fall for this person and then it may feel like you have been used when the guy doesn't want anything more. But who can blame him when it has been just sex for however long and suddenly you want more thats not what he signed up for. | |
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| Do most women hate sex, and only do it to please men?
Posted: 1/4/2009 1:28:32 PM | | Obviously the biggest difference between the sexes is how sex is viewed. For men it's physical and for women it's more emotional. Most guys will have sex at any opportunity whether or not they even like the girl whereas for women they want the feelings that go along with it. That physical need and urge to have sex that men have is unbelievable and I don't think women could ever understand it unless they could live in our bodies and feel it. It's insatiable and starts in pretty much all guys from the time they're pubescent and never stops (I'm 39 and horny all the time). | |
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| Do most women hate sex, and only do it to please men?
Posted: 1/4/2009 1:29:45 PM |
It seems that all I see in these forums are threads from some women complaining about being used for sex.
Seems to me you answered your own question in your first sentence...
DISCLAIMER: The following comments do not represent the sexuality of Sweetness-one or any of her affiliates. Any similarities between situations expressed in this program and Sweetness-one are entirely fictional.
My pet theory is that the enjoyment women experience during intercourse is directly related to how comfortable they are being sexually submissive (or dominant as the case may be). If a woman feels that she is losing control over the relationship by becoming sexually submissive she isn't likely to enjoy it nearly as much. | |
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| Do most women hate sex, and only do it to please men?
Posted: 1/4/2009 1:55:22 PM | | anglflyn, they said you were not a woman because of your ability to detach your feelings for men. Men are so used to women wanting to be with them on an emotional level that it blows their little egos when a woman can be just as cold and insensitive to them. I wouldnt feel bad about a thing, sometimes its good for men to be hurt by a little taste of their own medicine. | |
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| Do most women hate sex, and only do it to please men?
Posted: 1/4/2009 1:58:52 PM | I see the male /female aspect of sex from the outside looking in - 'cause I'm a tad different from the norm!  I see it like this - to both it's a commodity - it's used to barter - men want as much as they can get and women use it to get that commitment they desire - when neither gets what they want in the deal - the complaints role!! The finger pointing after is nasty! I hate this view of sex!
I have always viewed sex as a pure pleasure - a moment of joy shared between 2 consenting adults - when the desire arises - where both are satisfied and pleased with the outcome! In other words - there are no strings attached to getting laid for me! Although indeed sex is the best when you love and desire your partner! I can safely say 'I love sex' - as much for my pleasure, as it is for my partners! | |
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| Do most women hate sex, and only do it to please men?
Posted: 1/4/2009 2:16:16 PM | | Well one bit of advice I got from a woman when I posted in the profile review forum was not to post in the sex and dating forum because women would think I'm after sex on the first date. Just because I can openly discuss topics of a sexual nature doesn't mean that I want sex on the first date. It's statements like these that make me wonder why some women are so paranoid about being used for sex and then being kicked to the curb. It seems like nowadays men are seen as guilty of being perverts until we can prove we're innocent. | |
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| Do most women hate sex, and only do it to please men?
Posted: 1/4/2009 2:38:45 PM | I'll probably sound like many other women here, but I didn't read the entire thread.
Yes. I love sex. Sex is great. But aside from strictly the physical sensations, I also find it quite emotional and intimate. Having sex means something to me. So I would hate to be in a position where I felt like I went through a deeper shared emotional experience with someone, only to have them tell me it was just some random good time that could have been had with anyone.
If the guy is clear about their intentions beforehand, then I have no problems with the "thanks for the sex, maybe I'll call sometime" attitude. But a guy deliberately leads a woman by feeding her lines of false emotional attachment just to get her into bed (or vice versa)... well.. I'd call them dogs but I rather likes dogs.
Thankfully I'm far too cynical to ever have been put in a position where I felt used for sex. | |
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| Do most women hate sex, and only do it to please men?
Posted: 1/4/2009 3:03:03 PM |
Well one bit of advice I got from a woman when I posted in the profile review forum was not to post in the sex and dating forum because women would think I'm after sex on the first date. Just because I can openly discuss topics of a sexual nature doesn't mean that I want sex on the first date.
Could you (or anyone else given this brain dead advice) be interested in dating someone who'd make such a moronic assumption? I know I couldn't. Can we smack people who give this advice? | |
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| Do most women hate sex, and only do it to please men?
Posted: 1/4/2009 3:21:48 PM |
It seems like nowadays men are seen as guilty of being perverts until we can prove we're innocent.
It really depends WHAT one is posting in the forums. I've seen men and women both advertise themselves in "slutty" fashion. I've also seen some smart sexy men writing their opinions and coming across quite nicely. | |
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| Do most women hate sex, and only do it to please men?
Posted: 1/4/2009 5:25:00 PM | If the guy is clear about their intentions beforehand, then I have no problems with the "thanks for the sex, maybe I'll call sometime" attitude. But a guy deliberately leads a woman by feeding her lines of false emotional attachment just to get her into bed (or vice versa)... well.. I'd call them dogs This is probably the only time i think it's justified for a woman to **** about a guy not wanting to see her after they've done the deed.
If both are up front about getting a quick fix then i don't imagine there would be too many people whining. Trouble is (as is being discussed currently on another thread), there are many many men out ther who lie to the woman about wanting a relationship just so they can fvck her.
Also guys many of your fellow men have sold you out . The following comments are from the first three pages of one thread about the number of sexual partners. (Started by a guy)
Number of sexual partners! At what point does this seem a lot?!
The lower the # the better. I prefer that it be under 3, but then I would have to date girls 1/2 my age to get them like that around here.my girlfriend said 8 and i thought that was a lot!
But if she just slept with 4 people total it wouldn't be so bad
but seriously if a girl has had more than 10 guys i would think she was a straight up slutpiece.....then i would try and bang her
Double digits would seem like a lot to me.
And then there's...
Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
I so want to say that is can work and there are some circumstances where it might but the deal is usually this... Men (and women in a different way) like to win the prize. If she gives it away to him straight away he accpets it often, enjoys it, then thinks...well, I am special but all the same she probably gves it away to any guy 1st date, so she isnt special.
As most men will say, (but not in a forum where it may affect their dating) men often decide that a woman who has first date sex is not for the long term. Afterall, what's the fun in having a girlfriend everyone else has had?
I'll have no issues, or worries, or hesitations to discuss things of a sexual nature on a first date...or the time leading up to it. But sex on the first date...actual, naked in bed, makin' sweaty sheets? Nope. Big red X on the screen. FAIL.
I prefer to be with someone who has more respect for themselves than to have sex with an almost complete stranger on the first date. If they're willing to do it with me, then how many other first dates have they had recently that went the same way? To me, it just reeks of nasty
So what are we to assume?? Do women hate sex and only do it to please men? Quite obviously not by the overwhelming majority of women who have posted to this thread. BUT... It seems many men won't consider a woman with a high sex drive who is willing to have no strings sex as any more than a casual encounter with no respect for herself. So you can thank your fellow men for many women refusing your request for casual sex. We know how many of you have a very low opinion of those who indulge. Some of the ladies don't care what others think, but i'm certainly not going to have casual sex with a man who i know is quite probably thinking of me as a cheap slut. | |
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| Do most women hate sex, and only do it to please men?
Posted: 1/4/2009 6:13:48 PM |
It takes two to tango, it also takes two to have bad sex. Instructions, Instructions, Instructions.
What about those who do not follow instructions in bed? I have had a couple lovers who I could tell or even show them what I enjoyed, yet they apparently didn't learn anything from the lessons and conversations. Some people (men and women alike) are bad in bed because they are selfish, choose not to listen to their partner, or just can't get it together. | |
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| Do most women hate sex, and only do it to please men?
Posted: 1/4/2009 6:20:23 PM | Giving instructions are one thing, but when a couple are discussing what they like and do not like and also when in the act, you can gauge your partner's response to what you are doing, I pay attention and I would expect my partner to. Unfortunately though, men possessed with a larger penis and really really good looks seem to have forgotten those basics. What these men don't realize is the whole myth surrounding the large penis.
I could be wrong, but that's been my experience and other women have made the same comment to me. | |
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| Do most women hate sex, and only do it to please men?
Posted: 1/4/2009 6:31:37 PM | | Many problems between men and women have their origin in different attitudes to sex, and these differences in attitudes in turn have their origin primarily in socialization. Nothing will change until this socialization changes along with the accompanying double standards that women face. The problem is that there is an unholy alliance between prudish women and men who want to control women's sexuality to at least keep things as they are. That's the bottom line as I see it. | |
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| Do most women hate sex, and only do it to please men?
Posted: 1/4/2009 6:40:10 PM |
That physical need and urge to have sex that men have is unbelievable and I don't think women could ever understand it unless they could live in our bodies and feel it. It's insatiable and starts in pretty much all guys from the time they're pubescent and never stops (I'm 39 and horny all the time).
I hate to burst your bubble but men don't own the monopoly on sexual urges and insatiable sexual appetites. Many women, including me, can definitely understand your position.
To answer the OP - no most women don't hate sex, and we do it to please ourselves as well as our partners. | |
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| Do most women hate sex, and only do it to please men?
Posted: 1/4/2009 6:47:43 PM |
I see it like this - to both it's a commodity - it's used to barter - men want as much as they can get and women use it to get that commitment they desire - when neither gets what they want in the deal - the complaints role!! The finger pointing after is nasty! I hate this view of sex!
I refuse to play that game, but you're right. It is viewed that way by far too many.
For me, it's simple. In terms of online dating, if two people connect online, they usually spend a couple of weeks learning about each other, coming to like each other, and creating sexual tension prior to meeting. If, at any point during that process, things seem "off", that's usually the end of things, prior to meeting. So, they are both "getting to know" each other, discovering compatibility, and calling things off, if there are "red flags". What they don't know, of course, is if there will be chemistry in person.
For me, and with every woman I've met from online, if there's chemistry in person to go along with that, it's a very natural thing to act on it. It wasn't until I first encountered the POF fora, that I read so many posts from women who think they "should", for one reason or another, "wait for some period of time, while they become "friends first"".
I think it is that POV that the OP was referring to in the original post. It is that stifling of normal human instinct that creates a "conflict", where sex seems to be about "control". When one wants to, and the other doesn't, to me, that is the greatest incompatibility of all for mature adults, and I don't argue, fight, or "get mad" about it. I assume that "she's just not that into me", or else there are "issues" surrounding disparate views of sexuality in a dating relationship.
The truth is, most of the time, disparate views are discovered in the period prior to agreeing to meet. Most of the time, when first meeting, there is no chemistry, in which case I haven't wanted it to be sexual any more than she did.
I think the OP hit on something in the OP. I don't think it's "most women", but there are some women, who proclaim their hesitancy to have sex as "good sens" or "virtue", who really seem to have "issues" with sexuality, men, and the natural process of dating. | |
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| Do most women hate sex, and only do it to please men?
Posted: 1/4/2009 6:52:47 PM |
Men are so used to women wanting to be with them on an emotional level that it blows their little egos when a woman can be just as cold and insensitive to them. I wouldnt feel bad about a thing, sometimes its good for men to be hurt by a little taste of their own medicine.
Truly, you have my sympathy. Your post just reeks of anger and bitterness, and a motivation in dating to "get even" with men, for things a few other men may have done to you. In any case, it seems that you hold men in contempt, and are angry and bitter.
I can only say, if I held women in contempt, or had unresolved anger from previous relationships, I don't think I'd want to date, until such time as I had resolved those feelings. | |
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