|
|
|
|
|
| This ruined my day,,,,,,,
Posted: 1/8/2009 8:38:55 AM | I have to agree with Cowboy on this....Just because a lot of America is overweight, does not make the body type of "average' mean 20+ lbs overweight.
Forgive me OP....but in your pics, I'd guess your pant size to be about an 18-20. If you are not shopping in the regular women's or jr's section, you are either 'a few extra' or bbw. If you are an 18-20, that means you have way more than 'a few' extra pounds-more like 50-70. I know....I've been there. So who are you kidding when you put up 'average', besides yourself?
The jerk had no right to email you with such a nasty reply but unfortunately, its heard here a lot. There are lots of men & women who lie about their body type or are self delusional. Since when is 30 lbs " a few" or even 50 or 60? It shouldn't matter to you what other people think and if it does, it sounds as though you might be insecure with your weight. There are ways to fix that.
If I was you, I'd be more worried about why I felt the need to come on here and make 'friends' on a dating site when you're in a relationship, to say nothing of leaving up bra pics. You're a hairdresser. Surely you come in contact with all kinds of people, but probably not men. Hopefully your boyfriend is understanding about it (I wouldn't be if I was him). Make sure you are doing it for reasons other than male attention.
HR  | |
|
| This ruined my day,,,,,,,
Posted: 1/8/2009 8:53:44 AM | I see you changed your profile OP. Good for you.
The guy still crossed the line however. There's are lots of threads similar to this.
All comes down to being as honest as possible.
I was chatting with a woman about 6 months ago, no pic, but was listed as a few extra lbs. A bit too pushy about meeting after two messages so I decided no to further contact. Anyway, about two months later she posted a pic. Those few extra lbs appeared to be about 50 or 60.
To me, that's sort of like lying. | |
|
| This ruined my day,,,,,,,
Posted: 1/8/2009 11:17:54 AM | | What that guy did was rude, however if you think you are average, than youre average. Everyone has their own perception of themselves and what they consider average. All that matters is if you are healthy and fit. And someone said something about putting your weight on a profile and then that would give people an idea of if they were fat/overweight/average/etc. I tend to disagree with that. 1) muscle weighs more than fat and 2) and what you weigh doesnt signify what your body type is. Me for instance (I will prolly get kicked out of the girls club for revealing my true weight, but I am trying to get a point across) I am 5'2 and I weigh 150. Would you consider me overweight or average based on that? Next I will tell you that 1) I work out every day, 2)eat a balanced diet (I am a big fan of veggies) and 3) I am healthy and fit. Would you now consider me average/overweight? Now, I will tell you my measurements: 38DD, 32" waist, and my thighs are 34". And I wear a size 8 in jeans. I may be well endowed up top, but I, in no way, think I am fat. But because you may not know any of those details other than the fact I had on my profile what I weigh and my height like the one gentleman suggested should be listed in a profile, you all would prolly consider me overweight. My point I was trying to make is that everyone has a different body type. Just because the scale says something doesnt mean you are "that size". Does that make sense? Honey, if you think you are "average", then that is what you are. | |
|
| |
| This ruined my day,,,,,,,
Posted: 1/8/2009 11:22:32 AM | | EDIT: Also, I think that sometimes pictures can distort what you actually look like, depending on lighting, where the picture was taken, how close up the camera is on you, whether or not the picture was cropped. I looked at your profile OP, in one of the pictures, it does look like you are more on the "overweight/obese catagory. But in almost the next picture, you looked "average" maybe 10 pounds overweight. | |
|
| This ruined my day,,,,,,,
Posted: 1/8/2009 12:13:35 PM | definatly don't let it ruin your day!
I looked at your profile and I have to dissagree w/ a bunch of people here. I think you are "average" in size. Your a very curvy woman and I don't think you have "a few extra pounds." Your curves are perfect and beautiful and all in the right places. I figure that I would give you my dissenting minority opinion on this.
I have to wonder what is "average" if you are not? Average must mean a stick straight girl or one who is slender. IMO, my own figure is "a few extra pounds" but maybe I am underestimating myself as well. I'm a size 12 and have a bit of a belly, but I guess size 12 is the new size 22! Most of the women I see ever day are either quite skinny or much heavier than me, so I know that I am not at either extreme. (anymore, at 21 I was a itty bitty size 4/5 but 5 is probably the new 12 anyway).
Personally I just do not agree that curvy hips and breasts equal "a few extra pounds." There are bigger girls who have curves too, but from your pics I really don't see you that way. You look like absolutely the right size for yourself, therefore, you do not, in my opinion, have any "extra" pounds. (extra would imply that they were superfluous, or undesired and that you might want to get rid of them... I don't see any pounds that you should have want to part with)
just my 2cents | |
|
| This ruined my day,,,,,,,
Posted: 1/8/2009 12:35:17 PM | Most people are just sick and tired of liars. Of course this does not excuse his behavior. He was beyond rude.
If we are talking about being rude you have to include all those who lie on their profiles. I love to see all the women who are so much larger than I am defend their lies. I list myself as a few extra pounds because I know I need to lose a few. I have mirrors and they work. I wonder how many of the overweight women in this thread who think they are average are also looking for honesty in a partner? *rolls eyes*
If I am in a room full of Sumo wrestlers it doesn't mean I am magically thin or athletic. I remain what I am - a few pounds over.
Quit mucking up the pond.
*waiting for the Marilyn Monroe references | |
|
| This ruined my day,,,,,,,
Posted: 1/8/2009 1:17:39 PM | There ought to be a middle ground between 'a few extra pounds' and BBW.
I don't fall into either of those designations.
While I have more than 40 pounds to lose (around the belly where I can best disguise it with loose sweaters and jackets), I certainly wouldn't call myself BBW, because to me that sounds like a very large & voluptuous shape, and I'm not built that way. I'm 5'3".
I have muscled arms & legs, but have a smaller bone structure, so overall I look 'average'. Most people who see me would never call me BBW.
However, I don't post full-body pix of myself because I'm not trying to offer anything physical to a guy until we've known each other a long time as friends first. Then if he's right for me, it won't even be an issue .. it weeds out those who expect to be attracted based first on looks. | |
|
| This ruined my day,,,,,,,
Posted: 1/8/2009 1:27:54 PM | My response to people like that:
"I may be fat, but YOU'RE ugly...and I can diet!" | |
|
| This ruined my day,,,,,,,
Posted: 1/8/2009 1:39:52 PM | I am uncomfortable with the labels, too. I had listed myself as a BBW on another site only to be told that I wasn't, that I was voluptuous. After being told that by a couple of guys I went to dinner with, I changed it to voluptuous. THEN I got a comment about how voluptuous doesn't mean fat, it only means big breasts and thighs. At that point, I stopped playing such subjective games and have just decided to list my size in the profile. It's a fact, not subjective. You can argue my label, but you can't argue the tag in my clothes.
I figure it it is THAT big a deal, then he can do a little research and figure out approximately what size I am before asking me out. I do not want to list weight, that is misleading, we all carry it differently depending on frame, muscle mass, etc. I think a clothes size is more accurate. Any guy can walk into a clothing store and pick up a size 18 article of clothing and get some sort of idea.
I do agree with the ones who said that the "few extra pounds" should be a FEW. Like if you wanted to borrow a few bucks, I would think at most 10-15, but not 80-100. Like most nurses who have worked alot with bariatric patients, I can closely estimate weights. I see guys listed as "few extra pounds" who are easily 100 pounds overweight. I agree, that's lying.
It ain't just the women, guys! | |
|
| This ruined my day,,,,,,,
Posted: 1/8/2009 2:40:26 PM | | Honey, you are not huge and I think that you are right about many people here being on the bigger side. If as many people are larger as are smaller then in fact you are average. I met a woman who said that she was athletic. This lady was very large. I actually did think that she was very nice but did not see her again because I felt that she was being dishonest, and honesty is above all else important. I know that we have all come across this and we probably all will again. It is the nature of this beast. Not everyone is concerned about body type and lets face it, Barbie is a doll but she is not on this site. | |
|
| This ruined my day,,,,,,,
Posted: 1/8/2009 2:45:09 PM | You are right. There are lots of girls your size...and you posted full body pictures of yourself that Im assuming are fairly recent...and so that is as honest as it gets...people can draw their own conclusions about what size they may "think" you are...but for him to go out of his way to put you down just shows what a slimy loser he is.
Dont let this jerkoff ruin your whole day, sweetie. He's not worth it. | |
|
| This ruined my day,,,,,,,
Posted: 1/8/2009 2:46:05 PM | Aww...I am sorry someone could be so rude. You are very pretty. Screw idiots like that and what they think..not even worth the time to type a message about it!
The whole weight choice confuses the heck out of me to be honest..
Regardless just ignore anyone who is that ridiculous and petty. Guess he never heard the old "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything". | |
|
| This ruined my day,,,,,,,
Posted: 1/8/2009 2:52:58 PM | After having my son, the nurse asked me how long have I been obese!
Obese!
I took my two minutes to close my mouth and ask her what the hell did she mean by that question.
She said according to her chart, I should way between 120-130 pounds.
I asked her if she knew what I'd look like??
Honey, embrace your curves and mentally dismiss the haters. | |
|
| This ruined my day,,,,,,,
Posted: 1/8/2009 3:04:00 PM | | Average is a mathematical term. Therefore, if the weight of more people go up, the standards of average fo up as well. It's an excercise in logic folks. I agree that the terms here are misleading. The guy is an ass. I've had rude emails on other sites for no reason then just to be rude but I remember they are one in 100 or so. Not anything to let ruin your day. Don't give anyone that type of power. | |
|
| This ruined my day,,,,,,,
Posted: 1/8/2009 4:18:35 PM | | Another rude comment from the intellectually challenged. Just let it go. | |
|
| This ruined my day,,,,,,,
Posted: 1/8/2009 4:30:14 PM | | It wasn't very nice of him to email you, just to point that out. Very insensitive. No need to be insulting about it. | |
|
| This ruined my day,,,,,,,
Posted: 1/8/2009 4:38:14 PM | i've had the same problem. maybe it was the same ugly guy??
so...by u.s. standards we are "average". but, when some ugly guy says your fat coupled with the fact that your doctor says according to the charts, you need to lose some weight. then we become "a few extra pounds".
i'm in the same boat. i will try to lose a couple pounds for the doc and for me. but, as far as men are concerned, our curves are delicious! we're both hot anyways-a complete package.  | |
|
| This ruined my day,,,,,,,
Posted: 1/8/2009 5:46:20 PM | If this guy went out of his way to message you unsolicited with an insult like that, that was just flat out rude and uncalled for by him. Having said that, I have to agree with Cowboy and others's. You see threads here all the time about just what is "average" or a "few extra pounds", and unfortunately it's a fact that some are going to write you and call you on it. So maybe put "prefer not to say" that way it's up to the viewer to decide for themself what category they see you as.
I'm not trying to sound harsh, and sure, I guess "average" is subjective. I myself have my body type as average. I'm 5'3, 115lbs, and wear a size 4. Since my weight falls into the "ideal average weight" on the weight charts, I chose to put down average. I could also have put down athletic as I do have muscle tone, I could probably get away with thin even, but to me that implies skinny and I do have a booty, so I'll just stick with average.
I don't think the whole "what exactly is average" debate will ever be resolved. | |
|
| This ruined my day,,,,,,,
Posted: 1/8/2009 5:50:44 PM | | Candi...you look great! You are average, you depicted yourself as you are! I'm angry...I can't stand when these guys that write us with nothing nice to say....that show's issues...guys if you don't like what you see, click to the next profile and leave that one alone..simple as that..why go out of your way to critisize someone..i just don't get it. | |
|
| This ruined my day,,,,,,,
Posted: 1/9/2009 3:41:07 AM | I'm also willing to bet that "average" weight to a woman
and "average" weight to a man are completely different visualizations
And being a man, and yes the OP is attractive, but I do feel "a few extra pounds" is more appropriate than "average". | |
|
| This ruined my day,,,,,,,
Posted: 1/9/2009 3:46:36 AM | If it were me - would probably write something back saying - "Yes - you are right, I have a big chest. They go well with my hips and a##." (Seen that on some other female's profile - thought it was funny as hell)
Do not worry about the schmucks like that. Aside from living in the wrong area - I certainly wouldn't have a problem going out with you. (That - being an off-handed compliment, btw)
Besides - you put your pictures out there - and they are pretty straight forward ones, not the 'glam shots' - so - anyone who can read the profile can decide for themselves. Good on ya. | |
|
| |
| |
| This ruined my day,,,,,,,
Posted: 1/9/2009 9:25:46 AM | | I understand what you mean. I put average for my body type because all around I'm quite alike to many other girls. But written in my profile I wrote "average to a few pounds heavier" to avoid a guy that wants to make a spectacle of the situation. I believe that is why it gives the options of "thin" AND "athletic" so that women such as ourselves can be "average" but its all a point of view and not everyone agrees. haha, for that guy I trust he was ugly and I doubt he'd walk down the aisle with his perfect /and rich model wife anyways! | |
|
|
|
Home
login 
