| Do women in Oregon ever mail first
Posted: 9/13/2009 5:46:06 PM | | I don't get many responses from guys I have emailed first. I understand the feeling, I feel like what did I do wrong. some guys actually wait to see that I have viewed their profiles in order to email me. I have even put I don't bite on my profile! | |
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| Do women in Oregon ever mail first
Posted: 9/14/2009 11:52:34 AM | I live in Oregon, I emailed first whenever I felt like it and one of my initial contacts (it was actually just a "wink" on a different site) resulted in a wonderful relationship. At first I had doubts about it; I was more comfortable with the "traditional."
When I started this online dating experiment, I used to feel compelled to answer everyone who contacted me. I moved on from that. If they said something overtly sexual, generic (they'd clearly not even read my profile) or rude, I didn't bother.
Rejection always has a sting to it, but one does get accustomed to it in this environment. I suggest that it's a pretty safe place to take that risk. Who knows what might come out of it. | |
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| Do women in Oregon ever mail first
Posted: 9/16/2009 3:41:46 PM | HAH, I find this concept quite interesting...
I've have emailed about a dozen women with a short and friendly remark generally about their profile or a compliment or question about a profile pic. But I guess I fall under the category of being just too damn ugly or something cause I can see they view my profile but never respond - Not that I really care - just an observation. | |
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| Do women in Oregon ever mail first
Posted: 9/16/2009 4:57:29 PM | You are not ugly. Now stop saying that to yourself! It's untrue and not healthy. You are simply experiencing what most men do on dating sites. You write something sincere and thoughtful......then no response. Don't take it personally. It's just the nature of the beast.
Think of it this way: If most of the people (including the women you have written to) were polite, well meaning, giving people, would they really need to be on a site such as this? | |
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| Do women in Oregon ever mail first
Posted: 9/16/2009 11:43:15 PM |
Think of it this way: If most of the people (including the women you have written to) were polite, well meaning, giving people, would they really need to be on a site such as this?
The whole online dating deal is one of the most impersonal concepts that I can imagine. I am only here for fun and hoping to find someone who might be here with the same intentions. 
Everything must be taken with a grain of salt... | |
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| Do women in Oregon ever mail first
Posted: 9/17/2009 8:31:59 PM | The forums are the most fun... 
There are good people on here (there must be, cuz I'm here!), the process is just sort of counter-intuitive.
And, don't think you are ugly. That is not at all productive. :) | |
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| Do women in Oregon ever mail first
Posted: 9/19/2009 10:05:02 AM | Geoffrey,
I agree with the others, you are not ugly. In fact from your photo, I would say you are handsome. A few more photos couldn't hurt.
However, I would suggest that your profile writeup needs some changes. I would drop all of the childhood history. Tell the women more about yourself and your interests now.
And one thing that comes across in your profile and in your forum posts with you is your pessimistic outlook about yourself and this dating game. Take out the sentence about not holding your breath. Consider this, when you are listening to, watching, or reading advertisements for a product or a business, or entertainment, you never see one hint of negativism about the product. If the ad writer put in one negative line that the product's producer isn't holding its breath that the viewers will actually be interested in the company's product, the company would hire a different ad writer.
Selling is all about the positive.
I met the gal I am with now after she emailed me. Sorry, the profile I have now is bogus and just gives me access to the forum, so you can't use it for an example. But I will say this I had many women contact me. And trust me it wasn't about my looks. | |
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| Do women in Oregon ever mail first
Posted: 9/19/2009 8:03:41 PM | Thanks for the info... about the being ugly comment... I should have just bit my lips. My sarcastic side seems to jump out when reading some of these posts... although most of them are humorous.
Have fun... | |
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| Do women in Oregon ever mail first
Posted: 9/20/2009 10:08:23 PM | I met the gal I am with now after she emailed me. Sorry, the profile I have now is bogus and just gives me access to the forum, so you can't use it for an example. But I will say this I had many women contact me. And trust me it wasn't about my looks.
When my bf and I were together, I checked the box not single not looking, and wrote in my description, that I was here for the forums.You don't have to have a bogus profile because you have that option, and you could at least change your profile to looking for friends.
Since my relationship broke up, and there is a guy on here now that I would really like to send a message to, but sending that first messages does take a lot of thought sometimes. Everyone has that fear of rejection, whether you're a man or a woman.
I would like to know how to get the word out about POF. Here on the coast, there aren't that many profiles to view unless I want to look in the Eugene or Roseburg area. I really don't like the idea of a long distance relationship, and I have no plans to move away from my kids or grand baby, so it's an issue when you live in a small coastal town, to even find someone to send a message to~ | |
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| Do women in Oregon ever mail first
Posted: 9/21/2009 7:53:52 PM | Wow sass .... didn't know you felt that way ..
Long distance ??? Eugene or Roseburg , now what is that an hour and 15 minutes tops. which is what a tv show and a few commercials..
Say you live in Hillsboro and the next Ex lives in troutdale, all part of being in Portland, but can you drive that distance in an hour,?? yes you can .. after midnight
Course I say this because it takes me an hour to get to a store of any size. | |
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| Do women in Oregon ever mail first
Posted: 9/21/2009 11:31:17 PM | | I really hate the drive to Roseburg. It's a miserable winding road. I could do an hour and a half on the freeway a lot easier. Eugene is 2 hours from here. If I am going to be in a serious ltr, I would like to be able to see this person on the weekdays, as well as the weekends. It would be hard to do that if someone is 2 hours away. | |
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| Do women in Oregon ever mail first
Posted: 9/22/2009 10:37:45 PM | | I pretty much always message first. I was beginning to think the opposite and that all the guys around here were just shy or something. | |
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| Do women in Oregon ever mail first
Posted: 9/27/2009 7:30:52 PM | | I completely agree, even though I'm a woman. I've e-mailed or contacted men by phone first, and then never gotten any kind of response. Yeah, frustrating! I feel the same way you do--do I have to post a half-naket shot before someone will care about the person I am? It certainly makes one wonder if people are only looking for "one thing" or if there are any decent people around with morals or standards besides a "quick hop in the sack." Don't get me wrong--I'm not a prude, but would certainly like to be treated like a lady, which is what I deserve (and I treat men just as well!). Good luck with your search! | |
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| Do women in Oregon ever mail first
Posted: 9/30/2009 8:41:49 PM | If you want to see who has favorited YOU, click on your favorites page and look for the link: Find out who has
selected you as a favorite! | |
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| Do women in Oregon ever mail first
Posted: 10/21/2009 10:42:07 PM | | I've never contacted a man in a dating site or at least I don't remember doing it. Usually, I like to know that someone is interested in me before getting to know them. So, that's a no from me. | |
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| Do women in Oregon ever mail first
Posted: 10/22/2009 11:22:56 PM | | Ok, this thread got me thinking and today I made my first contact with a guy before he contacted me. Yay! | |
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| Do women in Oregon ever mail first
Posted: 10/23/2009 5:40:21 PM | | After reading this thread I made a point of contacting a couple of guys. I didn't even get a thanks, but no thanks. I can see they checked my profile, then nothing. Also, I was contacted by someone, I responded with just the right amount of interest, then nothing. I'd be happy with a casual conversation, but it just stops. I don't understand that thinking. If someone contacts me, I respond. | |
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| Do women in Oregon ever mail first
Posted: 11/6/2009 1:58:38 AM |
Do women in Oregon ever mail first?
Sure they do...
It's just... Quite a few people click the "Don't let them see, that I've viewed their profile" button, and thus, women will never know that you've visted their profile. Women are intrested to see whom's viewing them; and if they can see that you've viewed their profile, it'll most likey perk their curiosity, into visiting your page, and possibly messaging you. =-)
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| Do women in Oregon ever mail first
Posted: 11/6/2009 4:24:33 PM | | I sometimes wonder if men in Oregon ever do anything besides read/delete or just delete email send to them. | |
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