| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 7/8/2009 4:53:03 AM | be said:Interesting thread. I'm 51 and I won't say I've completely given, just 95% given up. Just don't see a lot out there that interests me and its too much work. I'm quite happy with my lifestyle, living on the beach, playing tennis and volleyball, riding my bike, seeing friends, enjoying my hobbies. For one thing, I'm not looking for someone who has spent their life married and hasn't really traveled or had much fun and now wants to. I did all of that in my 30s and 40s and now I'm more interested in enjoying being home. I'm sorry that so many women never had a chance to do those things when they were younger but I did and have no great interest to now.
I understand this only to well. As a woman not that much out there these days that peaks my interest as well.. Also most men want to travel and like you did I had my fill of it when I was younger. I much prefer to be at home these days..
I have to be really motivated to travel so the only traveling I do these days is showing my cats a weekend or two a month.. I prefer sleeping in my own bed and have trouble sleeping in strange hotels.
thecatsmeoww | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 7/8/2009 7:55:00 AM | | I just had to reply to this topic.....I am 51 and new here. It seems middle age men are a mess. TRULY.....starting over after divorce is tough for everyone. But my goodness, men have to bring some romance and assert themselves at some point. Show me what you're working with. Your passion in life. So little of that here. All laid back and comfortable. Looking for that 25 year old supermodel to fall in love with......WOW. | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 7/8/2009 10:33:51 AM | Here is my thoughts and I am being honest.
As a guy, we wanted to get laid in our teens . Not much happened except frustration.
Then the same in my 20's but I did bettter getting a girlfriend than in my teens.
In my 30's I had bette luck still but women wanted a baby since their clock was ticking and by then, they did not care by who. I am not the daddy type.
In my 40's women get promoted into managment and start thinking they are better than a man. And it shows in ALL areas of life. It gets very tiresome dealing with these new man hatters.
In your 50, you are SICK of the women who hate men and profess that they love sex but don't dare write them or apprach them it that i s all you want. And unless you are on thier 'leverl' in terms of income, jopb status, house, car, etc, you are deemed a loser by these women.
The rest of the good women are taken.
And we guys are TIRED of the crap/ We would have LOVED to have met some loving woman but we are tired of the hoops YOU women made us jump through when you hit 40 plus
so we take up golf, go to hookers and say the hell with women over 40
That is pretty much the way it goes. | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 7/8/2009 12:12:08 PM | | I really liked dontwait1956 comments. I think a lot of women that are over 40 are bitter. They say we don’t do anything and want to be taken care of. I don’t think this is true. I love to go out dancing (I have taken dance lessons for years). I can shag (a dance) and two-step well. I am a very good cook; I can bake homemade bread and can use my pressure cooker (which most women can not). I can play classical guitar. I am in great shape (work out 6 days a week and eat well). So not all guy are coach potatoes. | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 7/8/2009 12:26:07 PM | | A real problem i find is that most want to get married and if you have no interest in that they complain. It`s all or nothing with them instead of a great relationship without the legal aspects. If marriage was that great we`d want it just as much as them and much of our dislike for it comes from an ex that the legal system gave so much unfair power to. I really do prefer women over 40 instead of under 40 but i will not get married again for any woman. it just serves no real purpose for the male. | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 7/8/2009 1:31:34 PM | I think bitter attitudes from any age bracket and from any sex are completely unappealing.
Don'tWait: you're going to find that the women in Columbia (during your impending trip) will not run up
to you with the Vibes you're sending out. My late wife was from Latin America, and she would have
told me to kiss off if I projected that kind of attitude.
We reap what we sow.
JMO | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 7/8/2009 2:34:00 PM |
I really liked dontwait1956 comments.
does this mean you're going to run off to Columbia with him?
I think a lot of women that are over 40 are bitter.
and there are no men over 40 who are bitter? | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 7/8/2009 3:21:17 PM | I don't know if 57 qualifies as a "really older guy", I certainly don't think of myself that way. I'm not bitter either, but I am tired of it all. Yes, I have met and dated some very nice, high quality women from here. And sometimes the reason it didn't work out was because we just weren't all that compatible. That's okay, it happens.
But more often than not, it didn't work for reasons that just get old after awhile. Many times they haven't gotten over the last retard that screwed them over. Sometimes they are still carrying a torch, other times they've swallowed so many bitter pills a month in the Godiva chocolate factory couldn't sweeten them up. Quite often they've built such an independent life for themselves that there's only this tiny niche left for someone like myself to fill. I don't fill tiny niches very well, for some reason I think I'm worth much more than that.
So have I given up? Let's just say if she's out there she's quite a treasure, some really stupid guy would have to give her up first. Then again, there are a lot of stupid guys out there.
(At least that's what I read in the forums)  | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 7/8/2009 3:59:47 PM | | I don't like golf. I tried it at the company picnic. I lost my ball. How come hookers make you play golf? This all is getting worse the more I learn. | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 7/8/2009 4:20:35 PM | | I think like any age there are good and not so good people out there. I think it was just easier meeting people in our 20's than it is in our 50's. Plus we know more and are not as easily impressed. It is hard for someone to see the twinkle in your eye in an email or for someone to be attracted to the way you laugh or dance. I figure by being on this site I may or may not make friends and I might find someone along the way to have fun with. If it is meant to be, I will find someone to share the rest of my life with or he may be waiting around the corner at the bookstore or ... All you can do is be open. Sometimes you have to kiss alot of toads to find you prince or princess. | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 7/8/2009 4:44:59 PM | WOW...Lady, you took the words right out of my mouth!!
I can't even seem to get a date to a movie or coffee these days...I don't think I am that bad looking...maybe not a Beauty Queen...but, how many are???
I am so frustrated with these sights...I can't even get to first base with a man on them...even been on e-Harmony...what a joke! All the men they sent me were ready for their easy chair and the remote control!
I just want what everyone on here is looking for...companionship! | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 7/8/2009 5:01:53 PM | | I also consider myself a good woman. I don't think any of us planned to be on a dating site at our age. I know I certainly did not. I have no idea what men my age are looking for. I have learned that men our age need to be approached. They don't have a clue what to say when they walk up to a woman. Also as woman returning to the dating scene (yuck) we forget the little things in passing. Like the guy standing next to you at the meat counter and mentions the chicken down the street is cheaper and better. He might actually be trying to open a conversation with you. Or the guy behind you in the check out line. I think we forget the possibilities. In our 20's everything was possible. | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 7/8/2009 5:26:12 PM | Well, I was going to send a message to d53 and wish him a happy birthday. But lo and behold I can't send him a message because I am too old! No women over 50 can send him an email!
Happy birthday anyway. | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 7/8/2009 5:31:01 PM | tresor cache typed...
Many times they haven't gotten over the last retard that screwed them over.
OK, FIRST, I absolutely cracked up when I read that. Second...that applies to both men and women. I've met my fair share of men who haven't gotten over the hurt some woman inflicted upon them and will do anything not to be alone or feel alone. I've also met men who are still carrying a torch for someone who left them.
Lastly...some of these posts are absolutely unbelievable. Men talk about women with bitter attitudes...wow...read your own posts. No doubt there are MANY people with bitter attitudes, both men and women. No gender has a lock on that one.
I'm one of those women who has worked hard throughout my career, is in management, makes a decent salary, and I'm proud of that. I don't think I'm better than anyone, men or women. We all have different goals in life, and one of my goals was to be successful in business. I've dated men who made far less than I do and men who make the same as I do. The only difference I've found is that one of the guys who made less than me asked me for a loan (which I gave to him). There are so many things to do (around Chicago) that don't require money at all or are fairly cheap. I think the company is the most important thing, not the activity.
From a woman's point of view, and this is strictly MY opinion, it's fine when the guy makes more money than the woman, but now that women are becoming as successful in business, it's a hard pill for some men (not all men) to swallow and those women are labeled bitter and angry and "man haters." I'm not a man hater. I don't care what salary the man makes. If he's working, he's good to go. However, I resent being stereotyped by some men as a bitter man-hater just because I've achieved some of my career goals. Yeah, I said it...I resent it. Get over it already. You're not getting my job! [crackin' up] | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 7/8/2009 5:36:56 PM | | lol, hmmm, well yes there are a lot of older people bitter, men and women, but hey im single, and am still looking for a donna reed, and i enjoy each day, dont even think of being bitter, sheesh why waist the time, i do enjoy each day, and make someone smile every day, and if thats the only time that person smiles that day, then ive been the good part of his or her day...smile, be happy,.... | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 7/8/2009 6:19:57 PM | I am not sure who really wants to know about men giving up, but here is my opinion. We men are far more simple than women. We do not read the signs as well as women. We were always bigger and faster as little kids so we didn't to learn the personal skills that little girls learn. We played war and they had tea parties. If were were any good a approaching women we would not be looking in most cases. The hunt and seek is not every guys idea of a great time. We have not given up we just are moving with more caution. All the life skills, business and other wise can mean little in the dating world. We are on our own. Really have you ever seen groups of men going out to a club together. Point trying to be made is men don't have the networking groups the most women have. It is man-up, suck it up and get on with it. So in many cases we just flounder along trying to figure a game out that we may not have been great at as young men. If a guy is dumb enough to ask for advice he has two chooses, his married friends who have be married most of there lives or his single friends who if any good at the dating game would not be single. I am not saying that men have it harder, I think it is still easier to be a single man looking than a single women. I was just adding my thoughts to the topic.
Bottom line is we have not given up we are just slow at the game.  | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 7/8/2009 6:55:36 PM | | See, it goes back to my original thought. Woman our age need to approach the man. They honestly don't know how to start up the conversation anymore. And John707 is proof postive. | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 7/12/2009 10:24:03 AM | Such an interesting thread! I am not sure what defines "older"; chronologically I am 58. I do not feel 58, I do not look 58, I do not think 58 and I do not act 58. This is not a case of arrested development - I am just not ready to be "older". I know how to start a conversation, carry a conversation and finish a conversation. What I don't know how to do is interpret "women speak". I read the profiles here (and on other sights) and the thing that jumps out at me time and time again is the phrase "friends first". Perhaps I am misunderstanding what is being said. However, my experience with female friends (and I do have some) is they do not see me as a romantic interest. So I assume I need to look elsewhere for romance.
I enjoy this site (and others like it) for the education I am getting about women. It seems that, while integrity and honesty are high on a woman's list of deisrable qualities in a prospective mate, women post photos that are years old and have a huge an inability to understand that "average" or a "few extra pounds" does not equate to being 5' and weighing more than I do.
I play golf because I like to play golf - not because I don't have a girlfriend. There are things I don't do right now because they are more fun with a significant other. When I read a profile that piques my interest because of shared interests, I send a note. I rarely get a response. I am sure there are reasons for this. Sometimes I feel it is because I am not Brad Pitt's lookalike, or I am not 30 years old, or I wear glasses. Most of the time I think it is because women are as afraid of rejection as I am. To paraphrase William Churchill, "Courage is not the absence of fear, it is taking action in spite of fear". I know if I sit around waiting for my love to fall in my lap I am going to be alone for awhile.
As I mentioned earlier, I have women friends. And I value those friendships. But those friendships do not fill the void of an intimate relationship. And by "intimate relationship" I mean mental, emotional, physical and sexual intimacy. Hard to find, hard to keep and well worth the effort.
Charley | |
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