| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/10/2009 9:03:59 PM | I don't think so. It is mostly just a matter of using your time, energy, and resources wisely to be available to meet men of the right age and caliber.
Try to find a Young At Heart group. While they are normally sponsored by churches, you needn't be of the religion that is sponsoring them. They welcome everyone of the right age. I've also found several senior single social type organizations that are fun and have a good mix of both genders. Another place that seems to attract mature, single males are volunteer hospital groups. I've met some really special guys through the VA hospital volunteers.
For awhile, I did meet quite a few guys from internet dating sites, but I've found at my age, I really have better luck with the face to face type meetings.
But my best advice is don't give up. Put all those years of ingenuity to work for you. There are quality gentlemen who would love to meet you, they just don't know it yet. | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/10/2009 9:04:06 PM | Hi Shirley
You LOOK MARVELOUS...Dont you dare give up..I have several friends, older gentlemen (60-80) that are in the local gym every morning from 5:00 until 10.
They go and do thier workout, and then drink coffee at the small diner.. I have other friends that walk in the malls every morning usually around 6 or 7. Then they meet at a place, usually in the middle of the mall, for coffee.
So I think if I were you..I would check out the local gyms, coffee houses, and churches have several single workshops and meetings.
I dont think they have given up, I dont think they know where to meet ladies. At least that is what they tell me. And the computer is ok, but they prefer face to face.
Hope this works for you
Lbiker | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/10/2009 9:12:30 PM | "quite a few of the retired men in the community hang out every morning at the Dunkin Donuts and in the next town over they hang at the local McDonald's and there are others in the small local restaurants. "
You say that like it is a good thing. I would be giving a wide (boredom) birth to men who "hang out" at such places. I spend enough time trying to explain to them why we wouldn't enjoy each others company.
Being a couple isn't the end all and be all. If you have nothing in common, run screaming. | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/11/2009 7:32:19 AM | | So what is that different media to meet new people that is more favorable or comfortable? I thought this was the new and different media? | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/11/2009 7:34:52 AM | | Funny but that has been my experience too! I thought this was more than an "email buddy" site--too bad you live so far away! Sharon | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/11/2009 12:37:00 PM |
As men age do they just give up wanting the company of a woman? The few I've met are only interested in someone taking care of them. I've been there and done that and am ready to just have fun.
I can only speak for myself but what man in his right mind would want to give up the company of a compatible woman who wants to have fun? | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/11/2009 1:15:43 PM | Funny ladyc4. Well, I can tell you I'm not giving up...must be in my blood.
My mom died, two years later my Dad (74) met a wonderful woman (all us kids loved her), a year later he was going to ask her to marry him, he was 76, unfortunately he became ill and passed on. Unfortunate yes, but they had some fantastic times together.
One can never tell, no matter what age, when your time is up..it's up. | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/11/2009 1:39:33 PM | Good on you!
I agree with the advice about men your age range not being terribly computer savvy, in general. Most of them probably 'retired' before computers were a major requirement in their jobs and they may not 'trust' it as its a 'foreign' concept.
If you've got the time and wherewithal, you could look into 'activity/social groups'...hiking? birdwatching? card games?....try meetup dot com. Granted you may have to 'travel'....though probably only about 1-2 times a month. The hiking group I belong to has many folks of different age ranges and it offers hikes at different levels of expertise...from a walk on level trails through local parks to 11mile/sea level>2500ft elevations!
Also, volunteering comes to mind, if you don't already. When I did some 'work' at my local food bank, I was one of the 'youngsters' (at age 53!)....many there were retired, both single and married. Habitat for Humanity is a wonderful organization to be involved with....you'd probably be able to volunteer once a month, depending. Granted, the areas they concentrate their work at are usually some major urban towns/cities so, again, 'traveling' would be required.
These are just a few suggestions I could offer you....you get the idea. | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/11/2009 4:19:49 PM | Shirley,
You are a lovely lady. It is just a matter of time before some lucky guy stumbles upon you. Keep up the positive attitude and living a good/healthy life. I truly believe that good things come to those that deserve and work towards them. Seems to me your time should be approaching shortly.
Best of Luck to you.
Much More | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/11/2009 5:12:36 PM | You live in a small town with a population of about 17,000. Of which, 13.7% are 65 years of age or older which equals 2,329 seniors. About half are females and half males. That means 1,164 men are over 65.
Most likely, 1/2 are married or cohabitating. That leaves 582 of which 10% are gay which leaves 576 eligible men. After subtracting out another 20% with health problems and long term illness (hospitalized or home bound), your looking at a total pool of about 461 eligible men over 65.
They haven't given up....they're all down at the VFW or Moose Lodge. Catch their next dance party, they all have them periodically. If not, move to Atlanta. | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/11/2009 8:36:15 PM | Shirley,
My thoughts are the same as yours. I am so tired of getting suggestive emails from young men. Do they really think that I need sex from them? And of course the really older man who wants me to take care of them. Heck it would be like changing diapers again only this time it would be on a 20 yr old or an 80 yr old.
I think the older man is afraid of commitment or we are about to take his savings (his kids warn him of that-- they don't want to loose their inheirtance) or does he think we want to rape and then kidnap him. All I want is someone to be a companion and if it leads to something more than that is wonderful!
Change is another concept that I believe scares them. They are very comfortable in their own little box and God forbid if a woman wants to show them something new and fun. One man I dated (widower for 8 yrs) kept saying "Peg (his deceased wife) didn't like what you like, or why don't you do it like Peg did? He was so set in his ways. I would say "Change is good and can be fun & if you don't like it you can go back to the way it was" He would say " Oh change is not good. How will I know if I like it?" Needless to say the relationship did not last.
I am getting tired of sending numerous emails, not getting responses or when I get a response we email for a while and then pouf they disappear like "magic". No reason. So now if a man dosen't want to talk on the phone or meet within 2 weeks of initial contact , & the ones who will not send a picture but want numerous pictures of me.. I delete them from my emailing list. | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/11/2009 8:51:38 PM |
Most likely, 1/2 are married or cohabitating. That leaves 582 of which 10% are gay which leaves 576 eligible men. After subtracting out another 20% with health problems and long term illness (hospitalized or home bound), your looking at a total pool of about 461 eligible men over 65.
The statistics aren't that encouraging for women over 65
* Older men are nearly twice as likely to be married as older women.
* Almost half of women over 65 live alone compared with one in six men. | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/11/2009 8:58:28 PM |
My thoughts are the same as yours. . . . And of course the really older [woman] who wants me to take care of them. Heck it would be like changing diapers again only this time it would be on a 20 yr old or an 80 yr old.
I think the older [woman] is afraid of commitment or we are about to take her savings (her kids warn him of that-- they don't want to loose their inheirtance) or does she think we want to rape and then kidnap him. All I want is someone to be a companion and if it leads to something more than that is wonderful!
Change is another concept that I believe scares them. They are very comfortable in their own little box and God forbid if a man wants to show them something new and fun.
. . .
I am getting tired of sending numerous emails, not getting responses or when I get a response we email for a while and then pouf they disappear like "magic". No reason. So now if a woman dosen't want to talk on the phone or meet within 2 weeks of initial contact , & the ones who will not send a picture but want numerous pictures of me.. I delete them from my emailing list.
Yep. In this slightly modified form, this is precisely my sense of what I see so much of here. Soooo, Bewhichin, gotta agree with with you! | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/12/2009 9:03:53 AM | OP, don't let negativity get you down. There are good men and bad men out there. Just like there are good women and bad women. The thing is... don't give up. Who's to say that too old to date is? Certainly not me.
Age is a mindset, if you feel old - you act and are old. If you feel young, you act and feel much younger than your "age" really is. | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/12/2009 10:26:07 AM |
Age is a mindset, . . .
Absolutely! As much in the minds of those encounter someone "old" as in the mind of the aged one. And there is a corollary: an older person, like most humans, responds to expectations. Treat them as you'd like them to behave.
Nice post, Catkin. | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/12/2009 10:59:30 AM | | Thank you whytwater. I personally have no intention of giving up.... I do not plan on going out with a good fight. I want to live my life... not let is pass me by. | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/12/2009 8:17:07 PM |
I didn't say ALL men were jerks, learned counselor. On the basis of your posts on this forum, I would say that YOU are a jerk, (not to mention presumptuous, condescending and a curmudgeon to boot), and YOU don't seem to like women very much.
Is this a joke?
I've known whytwater for awhile now and can tell you he most definitely loves, and LIKES women.
I'll give kitty the benefit of the doubt and guess she was having a bad day because whyt also did not misrepresent her previous posts. | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/12/2009 9:02:13 PM | WOW!!! Male bashing can be alive in here but WAIT....Not all older men are single due to being jerks. Some are widows, got divorced due to wives cheating and various other reasons. Times have changed and so have the attitudes that go with the times!! And yes some men maybe jerks-I was married for 24 years-he is on this site so becareful.
Dating men now in life I try to be very careful and what I found was that most men that I took intrest in were so far from jerks. They are awesome. And I am thankful!! But I am seeing alot of men who were very hurt by their divorce or circumstances that they are just so AFRAID to commit again. And remember we human are creatures of habit...if he has been single for a long time and older he may not be into admitting to himself that life can be fun when sharing it wih another. So some are saying that they are just friends when the 2 spend alot of time together and they act as if they are in a relationship. Dating can be confusing so communication is the key. And if you find someone you like but he says we are just friends-wave good bye from a distance. | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/12/2009 10:02:33 PM | OP, my grandmother met a guy at a senior citizen lunch, which she attended regulary. She was in her early 80's and they dated exclusively for about 8 years, then he died. He was a very nice man. Widowed and retired HS principle.
You need to get out and join social things for seniors, as men the age you seek don't know how to use computers, plus they like to find dates the old fashioned way.
One other thing, we moved my grandmother into a senior citizen community. She had her own apartment. But the complex was wonderful for socializing and that is why we moved her there. You might want to consider moving into such a place. | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/12/2009 10:56:51 PM | Have all the really older guys given up?
Some have, and as proven by some of the posts here, some women have also
(to one in particular, i would like to say 'Thank You' for giving up AND
for your posts on this thread which should serve to warn any male who
might be tempted to approach you).
BUT....not everyone, not every "really older guy" has.
I remember having to explain to my Father after he became a Widower
that statistically, he was a Catch. In his 70s, he had not dated since he met my Mother
at age 15. He was in relatively good health, had a decent pension, owned his own home
and looked a good decade younger than he was. He also had no idea that women were
hitting on him. His Social Skills for dating had Atrophied, but he DID figure it out.
More Anecdotal Evidence involves one of my Aunts. She took in a border after
being widowed in her 60s. After living together for a few years she married her border
and spent 20+ years with him.
Sooooooo... it happens. There ARE men who have not given up.
But, if you wish to be alone, it is not a problem. All you have to do is write and speak
about "Old Coots", and make sure to be as disparaging as possible about their habits,
looks, and how they can not compare to your memories of your younger EX 30 years ago.
Trust me, men will stay away from you if you do enough of this.
Good Luck OP. | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/12/2009 11:07:06 PM | | Cough - cough sorry but that isnt true...or at least it wasnt in my case...we had a traumatic event happen in our lives....and was unable to turn the corner from it....thus ending in divorce. So I would say your cookie cutter response doesnt always match reality. | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/12/2009 11:20:30 PM | I have wondered the same thing. Thank you for posting this subject. I have been on this site for over a year and have not met one man on here. I am begining to wonder what they are looking for. Are they afraid of a woman who can take care of herself? What is it they are really looking for. I hope it is not what you say in wanting someone to take care of them. I do know that has to be a two way street.
Oh well, let us keep trying - I know there has to be one good man left out there - or who knows maybe more than one. | |
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