| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/13/2009 7:14:36 AM | Forallintents, I never figured you for a quitter.
Shirley,
I admire you for what you're doing. No, you're not too old, and if you spend any time reading POF postings in general categories -- it doesn't look like age is the determining factor for unrealistic expectations; giving up; becoming bitter; and/or shooting down any suggestion anyone ever makes to help someone else, because yours is the one right way (and you're alone because you LIKE it that way). | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/13/2009 11:13:09 AM | Shirley, I hate to say it, but as we age, women begin to outnumber men.
You are NOT too old to be on a dating site, but I wonder if a lot of people your age really do feel that they are too old and subsequently, they don't use the internet as much as their younger counterparts do. I don't think you have a hard time attracting the older men, but there are fewer older men on POF.
I have also read where many hold the opinion that middle-aged men and older prefer younger women. I haven't found this to be true, but who knows? Maybe the men your age are pursuing women my age or younger, and the younger men are contacting you.
Why not date a younger man? If you are not looking to settle down, I can't see what the harm would be. In fact, even if you were looking to settle down, I can't see the harm.
By the way, since I was a teenager, I have consistently looked for role models--women who are worthy to be emulated. As I am 56, I still look for role models: I think you are one. | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/14/2009 2:01:03 PM | WOW! Where did you get that idea? Started as jerks? As far as I know, we all start the same way in life! What makes us who and what we are depend on others and the reaction we have. Your comment is proof of that! I'll let you know, thank you, that there are still nice guys out there looking for romance and who know how to treat women well.
In my case, my last relationship lasted 12 years and I ended it because she couldn't make her mind up about committing (and no! It wasn't because I was a jerk either!)! I treated her much much better than the jerk she was with!
And why am I still single, you ask? (Yes! I heard you.) Because I was looking for that special someone who wants to feel and actually be wanted and who can make me feel the same way. But some women, just like some men, are jerks too!
So please, careful with your comments! You won't find nice guys here thinking that way! They are single too! | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/14/2009 2:40:32 PM | ROFL
Be forwarned, most men on dating sites want to email forever! They aren't interested in meeting in person. Mostly because of their own insecurities.
What insecurities? Typing is just good dexterity exercises to keep arthritis away! | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/14/2009 5:54:07 PM | Personally I have my hormone levels checked to keep healthy, vital and
sexually alive. I think more men should have their Testosterone levels
checked. It does decline with age and it will make a difference in their
lives and in the bedroom. Guys, get on board, it will make us women
much happier......  | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/14/2009 6:17:01 PM | I think more men should have their Testosterone levels
checked.
Personally, I use my brain to override hormonal impulses. I think women who cannot control their hormones should get their estradiol checked, often.
Self-report studies of women with high esteradiol levels engage in opportunistic serial monogamy (i.e., affairs) outside of a relationship. In other words, unconscious female cheaters driven by female hormones.
"Women with higher estradiol reported a greater likelihood of flirting, kissing and having a serious affair with someone other than their primary partner".
Durante, K. University of Texas at Austin. 2009. | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/14/2009 6:44:23 PM | Shirleysdl I think older men have so many more women around their age that they dont have to work at finding a date. All I know is an older friend tells me that if you are over age sixty and older, that the women knock your door down.
And that some older men having been married so many years and now widowers, feel that no woman will be as good as their late wife. Or feel that the women hitting on them are just to loose. HIV amongst the 65+ age group is higher than some know. Worked in a clinic.
Now I do know that research shows that widowers do marry quicker than a man whose never been married or has been divorced. So yes, you may be correct that widowers may be looking for someone to take care of them.
Not sure this is true for widowers under the age of fifty.
Wonder if a lot depends on where the older single men are. | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/14/2009 6:53:36 PM | Shirley you are one cool lady!!! If you play Bridge join a mix sex Bridge club. What about walking areas like parks, gyms etc, where I KNOW healthy fit older men go to.
I also tend to believe that the right person comes along when we arent looking. | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/15/2009 12:02:25 AM | | i am 65, a widower, very e-z going, accepting, not controlling and know how to treat a woman with respect. i like to have fun, go dancing am up for whatever and have very good health. not set in my ways at all. retired and looking for someone to share my life with--not take care of me. i am not ready to give up but am ready to give up on this site. and hey, guess what? i can do alot of things many younger than me cannot. | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/15/2009 5:34:02 AM | Phoebe wrote:
Be forewarned, most men on dating sites want to email forever! They aren't interested in meeting in person. Mostly because of their own insecurities.
Hitchiker wrote:
What insecurities? Typing is just good dexterity exercises to keep arthritis away!
Perhaps " typing" emails keeps arthritis away. But, if an "older guy" doesn't EVENTUALLY meet a woman in person......... to see if a relationship could develop, arthritis might set into his heart and other assorted "body parts"............. 
I stand by my original statement OP..............I think some (NOT ALL) older men have developed intimate relationships with their keyboards via on-line dating. Perhaps, they've become indifferent about "meeting" and courting a woman in person. If wanting to "email forever" isn't about "insecurities", then Gentlemen, you tell me and the other nice ladies here, what it's about? ( other than keeping finger-arthritis at bay) | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/15/2009 5:44:55 AM | My own view of these virtual communities is that you join them, then meet a lot of people who are interesting, most of whom live far away. Eventually, you become part of a virtual community that has social benefits, so you continue with the contacts you make. I think many men and women on these sites are quite happy with the social aspects and don't really need to get into the heavy action of one on one coupling. Its always nice to have friends without benefits, and all the other stuff that you get caught up in with the one on one things.
Now, if the person lives close, its another matter. If the person e-mails forever and lives down the street, you can be pretty sure its not about getting into your culottes.... | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/15/2009 10:55:03 AM | No. Older men don't give up, they choose other ways to meet women. Many older men prefer to meet women through church, family, friends, or professional organizations. I met my older husband through work. I was working for an IT company and he was a client. His pursuit was fun and fascinating. We laughed, loved, and enjoyed an amazingly romantic life right up to the day he died.
Mom, a 70 yr old widow, is also finding older men prefer to meet through venues outside of the net. She is retired phone co and they have a volunteer group that meets monthly. Several nice men have asked her out since she started working with the Pioneers. While Mom hasn't met anyone she wants to settle down with, she is having a ball going to lunches, on day-trips, and working with fun people on projects to help children in her town. Volunteer work is a great way to meet older men. Museums, parks, schools, and hospitals are great ways to meet nice gentlemen, too.
So, broaden your horizons and let everyone know you want to share quality time with a nice guy! | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/15/2009 1:43:02 PM | The virtual world provides a ready made cop-out for many older and younger people who have no intentions but dilly-daddling around on the computer with some poor unsuspecting person who's taken in by their "virtual charm". They seem to get their jollies off in creating this little pretend world where they are this "supreme catch" and all the women/men are breaking their necks just to converse with them.
You know, or should know within very short order, that a person who lives goo gobs of miles away, emails you incessantly, never offers up a phone number, never follows through with requests to meet up if they're in your area, are out and out full of Fertilizer.
There are many right here under our noses buffaloing people like you and me and it's these very sad people that litter up this site and make it difficult for decent people who really are trying to meet a person to connect with IRL.
Shame on you people. Take up knitting if you need to do something with your fingers for cripe sakes! | |
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| Not by a long shot
Posted: 1/16/2009 6:19:16 AM | I have not given up I am trying just as hard as before nothings changed even tho my skin colour someimes prevent me from being with who I am attracted to.
Have all the really older guys given up? Answer NO | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/17/2009 5:27:52 AM | "As men age do they just give up wanting the company of a woman" I'm sixty and would love to have the company of a woman. I would love to meet someone my own age! And I don't want someone to "take care" of me. I agree with you it is hard but what can we do. Maybe, sometime you just may click with someone.....
and happy new year to you!!!!! Shirley, and all you beautiful mature women out there.......................... | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/17/2009 7:10:03 AM | a male friend of mine is single and has never been married or in a relationship, is
trying to meet someone he is 47, not bad looking ,( as far as i can tell, as i'm not gay)
but he is having a hell of a job trying to meet a female. | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/17/2009 7:14:35 AM | | If your friend just relaxes, gets out and enjoys life he may become attractive to women for who he is. From my personal experience and from what other men tell me, when we feel needy and are trying too hard it turns women off. Most of the women I have ended up dating turned up when I was not looking for someone but simply out enjoying myself somewhere. | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/17/2009 7:38:55 AM | | yes gaddflye , i think that you have a valid point there, i have heard this theory before, perhaps we " put out " that we are desperate or not confident or just not a fun person to be around??? | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/17/2009 9:34:07 AM |
I firmly believe that older single men are single for a reason. They started out as jerks to begin with, and just got jerkier with age. That explains why they're still single!
I laughed so hard on this one.
I just love these assumptions why men are single (I think I posted something in another thread about "amateur psychologists"). In my case, I just love being single.
I love having fun too, but women seem to want to spoil it. Go figure. | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/17/2009 9:45:56 AM |
I think more men should have their Testosterone levels
checked. It does decline with age and it will make a difference in their
lives and in the bedroom. Guys, get on board, it will make us women
much happier......
Here's another one that makes me laugh -making women happy by being virile.
Maybe look at yourselfs sometime, with all your demands and expectations, maybe he's just turned off. | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/17/2009 9:57:14 AM |
Here's another one that makes me laugh -making women happy by being virile.
Must be you aren't? Or you can't handle confident women?
Regardless of what your (alleged) personal experiences with demanding women may or may not be, for men over 45, and especially men getting up in the post retirement age group, hormonal imbalances CAN be an issue, just as they can for over 45 women.
Cindy O | |
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