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| poker after dark and my brother, the ass
Posted: 1/10/2009 9:08:56 AM | Maybe he doesn't like you either?
Just because you are related by blood does not mean that you have anything to offer each other that either of you can relate to. He lives his life/style and you live yours. Plenty of siblings are not close, but you seem to be expecting him to somehow stop being who he is and pay more attention to you. It won't happen.
The best solution is to build your life to include people that do care about you. Many friends can be closer, more dependable and better to have around than a blood relative ever will. Expecting others to change to suit you will lead to nothing but disappointment. Maybe one day as he matures he will miss having a sibling and reach out. But that has to come from him. | |
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| poker after dark and my brother, the ass
Posted: 1/10/2009 9:14:50 AM | Yep I've seen this same issue in so many other family's. Not only in the brother and sister's but with parents and children and cousins etc.
Can be many reason's why people get to hating each other. With siblings it can be the competition of life. Money. Houses. Children. What one does. Where one goes. | |
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| poker after dark and my brother, the ass
Posted: 1/10/2009 10:48:43 AM |
have often watched this poker show, and often seen his best friend, howard lederer, win prizes, and thought - "geez, god bless, he has talent, because, in person, he is sooo much a loser." and, now, here i am, watching it play out on tv, and looking at this stranger winning, and wondering...why is gambling and pseudo-notoriety more important than maintaining a relationship with your sibling?
I have to admit that poker has absorbed alot of my life, and possibly had a reason to destroy my marriage. I would play online for 5,6,7,+ hours a night every night for 2 + years. I do still paly poker, but now have limited the amount of time I play.
This game can drive a person mad. The horrible plays that people will make against you is enough to have you destory the table. With all potentials in this game you find yourself doing nothing but thinking about the game.
I am sorry that your brother has left you for this game and lifestyle. I would admit, I would love to be able to have the bankroll to play professionally and have a decent living, but I know what the risks are with that. Generally drinking too much, eating bad food, staying out way to late, and not getting enough exercise. Good poker players lead a life like a rock star...and yes I have hung out with some and seen the attention they get.
The money and attention can make people do the dumbest things. From what I have read and heard about Lederer, he does it smart. He plays when he wants, does more shows and gets paid for that. He doesn't follow the circuit playing in every tournament, and doesn't have the aspirations to be a player of the year. He is content. Although I have a few guesses who your brother is, it seems like he is in more the rock star mentality. | |
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| poker after dark and my brother, the ass
Posted: 1/10/2009 1:30:03 PM | ehh, i guess i should have known better, but hey: in for a penny, in for a pound.
so your jealous of your bro been on tv? or winning stuff? or what?
no, not jealous. glad he found something he does well, and is successful at it. not glad that i am not a part of his life. mentioned the fancy wedding attempting to illustrate that no matter the trappings, it was a crappy experience for me, personally. i should have listened to my instincts and not gone - it was THAT painful.
You can't choose your family. You Can choose to free yourself of the negativity though. It's just a waste of your time, holds you back and keeps you from being fully happy.
i thought i had freed myself. after more than a decade of trying to rebuild some kind of relationship, and making all the effort, i gave up. was ok with that. hardly thought about it for 5 years. then, suddenly, there he is in my living room on tv, and it brought it all back. and, yeah, it still hurts.
You might try accepting him for who he is first then talk to him about how you feel. been there, done that. made no difference.
you can't really influence his behavior, but you can put yourself at peace with it, knowing that, on some level, things will balance out. the universe loves harmony and it will settle events in a manner conducive to your evolution.
thought i was at peace. maybe the universe gave me this kick in the pants because i need to evolve some more?
What is his side of the story?
i won't presume to answer for him.
This takes the term sibling rivalry to new lows.
you're wrong. there's no jealousy or competition here. there is, simply, nothing.
Perhaps try to take an objective look at your fault in all of this mess.
we cleared the air in '93. supposed to start fresh. just could never build it into anything. finally gave it up as a lost cause.
Maybe he doesn't like you either?
maybe not. now, i am going to have to think about whether i actually like him. or, if i did. i thought i did...
Can be many reason's why people get to hating each other.
i don't hate him. i don't think he hates me. i simply think that i am unimportant to him.
it seems like he is in more the rock star mentality
now, that's an insightful comment. yes, there's a significant amount of name-dropping and showing off.
thanks for all your comments. | |
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