| whats wrong with me
Posted: 1/12/2009 7:55:16 AM | "i met this guy on here, he is funny, gorgeous, and did i sayfunny...............all he wanted was friendship and sex....we met had thoe most awesome time, he said he wasnt ready for a relationship...he texted me friday ad sdaid he met someone else and really likes her....yes i live 3 hours from him, and this girl lives in his town.....why did he say he wasnt ready but then met someone else and doesnt want to see me anymore but wants to be my friend,,,im so hurt."
Well, you agreed on the terms - sex and friendship. Does that sound even near something serious. Also, since you DID agree to see him despite what he'd said, I guess you wanted it as much as he did. Stop whining. The guy probably fvcks anything that walks on two legs. The game rules to that kind of relationships are hardly worth thinking about - you're either in or out. When it ends it ends. At the end of the day we're all human and feel hurt when the joyride ends, but that's part of the game. | |
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| whats wrong with me
Posted: 1/12/2009 8:08:28 AM | | OP, you have long term on your profile. He wants sex..sounds like he found a sex toy. If he's telling the truth. Let it go, you're not in high school any more. | |
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| whats wrong with me
Posted: 1/12/2009 8:43:08 AM | i think desert flower has the most likely answer...ldr = effort. Fuel is expensive, driving is boring and time consuming...
think of it in terms of reducing your contribution to carbon emissions....
cheers and good luck, there aint nothing wrong with you other than thinking there is. | |
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| whats wrong with me
Posted: 1/12/2009 8:44:12 AM | | Is it possable that not everyone is going to be into you as much as you'ld like? At least the guy was honest and told you how it was. I have found myself in the position that I wasn't interested in a relationship and all of the sudden I'll meet someone who changes my mind. It happens, just be glad he was up front with you. | |
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| whats wrong with me
Posted: 1/12/2009 10:16:03 AM | omees: He just wants to be HER friend and f--k buddy too. He'll leave her for somebody else too.
There's nothing wrong with you (you're gorgeous and seem very kind), you just fell for a serial dater. Some guys simply don't have the romance gene--it's not in their blood. Avoid the next guy who says he wants a "friend with bennies" and look for someone who actually enjoys spending quality time wooing you. | |
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| whats wrong with me
Posted: 1/14/2009 12:34:54 AM | It doesn't sound like he made any promise or gave any indication at all that he'd be interested in having a relationship with you. I take it "awesome time" was when the friendship and sex came in. ...You both got your rocks off and had a good time.. Just because you sleep with someone doesn't mean you are automatically the next potential partner. It just means that..you slept with them..
It's almost like going on a job interview . waiting a week, thinking you got the job, and are in preparation to begin work, ... with no confirmation call..
Truth be told..He wasn't a player... A "player" does just that ..plays game.. when the relationship issue came up he told you that he didn't want it..he didn't say come over and spend the night so we can talk about it..if he did that..then I'd say he's a playa who's stringing you along.. | |
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| whats wrong with me
Posted: 1/14/2009 1:40:54 AM | | Let's be honest here. If before you guys "got together" you talked about who would move in to who's apartment if things went great then you oth were serious otherwise you played house or fairytail land for a weekend. I like almost 20 years ago had a vendor that ended up becoming really close. he lived 3 hours away. i drove out to spend the weekend. we were like almost best friends. the only reason this didn't work was he was too heartbroken about his exwife dumping him, crying alot, and really wasn't ready for a relationship so i stayed one of his closest friends. but unless you both discussed it, living together MOVING then it was all just fake world. | |
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| whats wrong with me
Posted: 1/14/2009 1:46:56 AM | So did you have sex with him or not?
Maybe he did not really wanna drive so far for sex, but since you did only live 3 hours away, sometimes that is not too far to drive for sex. | |
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| whats wrong with me
Posted: 1/14/2009 2:05:59 AM | | It's not you, it's me. I'm not ready for a commitment right now. I'm not ready to feel. These all mean the same thing, "you don't have what i'm looking for, so i'm moving on to the next one". I'm sorry but this is what it means. If we really like someone, we do change our minds and consider a relationship even if we're not looking for something serious. Because we don't want to lose what we have. If something is missing, we just come up with some excuses and move on, like he did. But you're not alone and don't feel sorry about it. Instead of questioning why it didn't work out, focus on what a great relationship you'll have in the future and enjoy your life to the fullest. | |
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| whats wrong with me
Posted: 1/14/2009 3:56:24 AM | | Nothing is wrong with you. He wanted friends and just sex. Maybe he sence from you, you want more? He evidentally wanted friends and just sex to be conveinant too.... not three hours away. He is probably not looking for a quality woman just quantity sex. | |
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| whats wrong with me
Posted: 1/14/2009 5:47:43 AM | | Not all men are that honest! At least he told you want he wanted. Sex with you in a non commited way, like coming by next month for a redevous. You need to live with your own decisions in life! Enjoy while you are still attractive to guys. | |
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| whats wrong with me
Posted: 1/14/2009 6:29:08 AM | I don't know why this is so hard for people to understand. NO one is "ready for a relationship" until they find the person they want to have one with! If someone is telling you they aren't ready for a relationship, understand then and there, that you are not "it" for them. If they had any feeling at all that you might be "the one," they won't make the announcement to you that they "aren't ready" for a relationship.
I agree with telling him you have enough friends, and that you are going to find someone who is "ready" for a relationship with YOU. There is nothing good that can come from any further contact with this guy. Also, stick to meeting people in your own area, otherwise this will keep happening. | |
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| whats wrong with me
Posted: 1/14/2009 6:32:26 AM |
Maybe he did not really wanna drive so far for sex, but since you did only live 3 hours away, sometimes that is not too far to drive for sex. It became too far once he found some local sex. | |
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| whats wrong with me
Posted: 1/17/2009 8:49:16 PM | | when he was with you he didnt see anything beyond a friendship and sex, maybe this girl he sees something coming out of it, why stress? theres plenty of other men out there | |
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| whats wrong with me
Posted: 1/17/2009 9:13:18 PM | | That's a big case of "THAT SUCKS"!!! I seriously don't mean to be a jerk , I have empathy and sympathy for that situation . At 47 yrs. , I feel like I'll never be hurt by something like that--- fresh into a relationship on any level ...... but then again..... I know it's still so very possible. Chin up !!! Don't be friends with him either....if you did, that might just be a subconscious attempt at "getting the best of him". I doubt that you would anyway, unless it's a resolved, peaceful, truthful friendship . | |
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| whats wrong with me
Posted: 1/18/2009 11:44:07 PM | jesus, such a vindictive response.
Maybe the guy didnt like something about her.
We dont know the whole story y'know.
lol, i know i met a girl from online once and found out she had really bad hygiene.
Her profile didnt show all that to me.
Am i a jerk too for telling her i only want to be friends?
...non-benefit friends of course. | |
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| whats wrong with me
Posted: 1/18/2009 11:59:23 PM | He's not a player, he's not a jerk, there's nothing wrong with you, there's nothing wrong with him.
Your'e great, he's great, everyone's great....I bet the new girl he met is great too. She is also not 3 hours away, so I'm not seeing the issue.(personally I wouldn't drive 3 hours to meet the pope, let alone a date.) | |
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| whats wrong with me
Posted: 1/19/2009 4:06:39 AM | | Well, let's put it this way. You live 3 hours away from him. You found each other attractive and had sex. You don't live close enough to turn that into a relationship. I wouldn't drive half that distance, except for a fun overnight every now and then. If I found someone closer, the fun overnights would not be my priority. What he wasn't ready to do is committ to a relationship that would be at best, part time due to the distance. If I'm going to be in a relationship, I'm going to want to be around her quite a lot. | |
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| whats wrong with me
Posted: 1/19/2009 7:39:35 AM | This is just part of dating.
There is nothing wrong with you.
I'm sure with this guy, you should thank God for unanswered prayers.
Something's just not right with him. | |
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| whats wrong with me
Posted: 1/19/2009 7:56:16 AM | OP...How old are you again? Oh yes...the same age as me...38 years...humm...this guy is NOT a player! And those in this thread who referred to him as really need to re-read this thread!
What is he.... VERY HONEST to the OP and in his profile. I would never slam a man for that; even though I would never consider a first meet with this person simply because he was not looking for a first meet...he was looking for friendship and sex....
Ok...OP...feel hurt if you must for about 30 minutes or less and fish for a real man...yup...keepers are hard to find....but they are out there! | |
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| whats wrong with me
Posted: 1/24/2009 6:38:16 PM | Nothing is wrong with you at all. A women is a whirlwind of emotions, that is a good thing. It all has to do with the total reproductive nature and further related to humans. If women did not have these swings of emotion we would most likely not be here reading this today. Setting all that aside you need to focus on you and your kids only and not be placing pictures of yourself in minimum clothing pictures. You have kids and your kids could someday see those photos and be hurt by them because they would not understand what you yourself do not understand at this time. Please post pictures you and yours would be proud of, stand tall and proud no matter how tough it get because it's going to get much tougher out here and there before this american soup line disappears. Don't for a minute confuse your self worth with the condition of the economy as many of your perspective mates my want to be next to you but can not bring themselfs to that because they know they would only be fooling them selfs and you. This is the type of situation that many men and weman are faceing right know. So all I am saying is there is nothing wrong with you, it's not your fault that over 16 years ago corporate America and our government sold the USA out with NAFTA and Free Asian trade agreements. So now finally with most people unemployeed, people aren't making alot of dates. Keep trying but try places you would not think of normally, like the mall, Publics, the car dealership, the hardware store, etc, etc. Be creative.  | |
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| whats wrong with me
Posted: 1/24/2009 11:29:08 PM | | same thing happend to me last 2 met hit off then they dropped me .kissg hug hold hands sex then excuses bye bye hah last 1 said wasnt her type after 2 dates kissg hugging sex both said not not just sex and 1 at xmas was christmas time so boght her gift neclase and she said never take off show everbody then bye bye hahhhhh game playing | |
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| whats wrong with me
Posted: 1/24/2009 11:39:03 PM | | Because some men are just plain lazy! Some would rather have a greasy burger from a dirty diner across the street than travel a distance for a 5 course gourmet meal. | |
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| whats wrong with me
Posted: 1/25/2009 2:43:06 AM | Are you sure he actually has a new girl that lives in his town? for all you know he could be lying to make you jealous OR he could be telling the truth which means he found someone he was more attracted to after all you weren't in a committed relationship as far as I have read and understood. You yourself said it was "fun and sex" which to me doesn't constitute a "relationship". In order to have a relationship you need to have trust. Did you trust him really? did you honestly think he was only with you...come on.   | |
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