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| One night stand...any chance he'll call?
Posted: 1/12/2009 7:47:24 PM |
Don't make assumptions. Give him a call. No need to wait for him to call you.
EXACTLY hank! Just what I was getting ready to write....especially after reading OP's statement of:
i'm just feeling a little sensitive and sad about this right now
OP, what are you feeling "sad" about? Are you sure it's sadness and not something else such as guilt, or shame, or embarrasment, or deception, or whatever? Seriously, you met the dude one time, had sex with him and now you're sad? Are you in love with him?
Or rather, are you a modern day, adult female with the capacity (in N. America) and intelligence to make your own decisions in life? And live with the consequences of your decisions?
If you like this guy, call his azz! Point blank....unless you're resolved to leave everything up to him....despite the fact you two didn't communicate about relationship-type stuff ahead of the fact, doesn't mean you can't after the fact!
You both were there....liked each other, laughed, had a fun night, had sex. You both chose to do that. If you are sad because you did that, all you can do is learn from your mistake, and not do that again (lest you feel the same way again). If you are sad because you really like this guy and want to explore the possibility of 'more'....I repeat, call his azz!
He's only 50% of what happened....don't make him 100% responsible or accountable. Talk to him....better late, than never.
~ds~ | |
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| One night stand...any chance he'll call?
Posted: 1/12/2009 7:53:25 PM | "are you sure it's sadness and not something else such as guilt, or shame, or embarrasment, or deception, or whatever?"
all of the above!
of course i can live with the consequences, and, if nothing comes of it, then i'll just try to learn from it and move on. but, i don't meet people i connect with very often, so i'd hate to see one slip away.
on a side note, what's with all the lawyer hate? i represent abused and abandoned children... | |
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| One night stand...any chance he'll call?
Posted: 1/12/2009 7:59:28 PM | | Never had a one night stand (had a one weekend one once), but what is wrong with you calling him? If you liked him and think it may be worth pursuing, call him. | |
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| One night stand...any chance he'll call?
Posted: 1/12/2009 8:46:00 PM | AWESOME explanation:
All women struggling in this arena should read this once, if not daily.
Once an object of desire is obtained, the desire for that object is usually lost.
One night stands are generally a bad idea all together. In order to keep someone, you must give them a desire to be with you. Something that they crave and will continue to crave. Men lust after sex and eventually find love. Women lust after falling in love and eventually find sex.
What that means is this, men who have sex too early will never find love and will not find a reason to stick around.
Women who find love too early in a relationship tend to harm the relationship as a whole, since she is known as clingy. When the man finds love, then the women is able to open her heart up as well to accept the love that is shown from the man. The man then gains sex (The thing he has been longing for) and the women eventually obtains sex as well. The love that the man experiences will not deteriorate and neither will the love that a women has been lusting after this entire time.
Thanks Verzen | |
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| One night stand...any chance he'll call?
Posted: 1/12/2009 9:02:43 PM | Sorry to be hard on you, but the idea of TWO lawyers getting SCREWED just seems like there IS still justice in this World.
(after all, OJ's now doin' time)
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| One night stand...any chance he'll call?
Posted: 1/12/2009 9:39:32 PM | Yes ! Sure ! Maybe ! No Way!
I think that trying to figure out what the other person is thinking
after a One Night Stand is worse than doing the same thing during
a First Date: On a First Date there is more mystery, or more
Potential Romantic Mystery, then after you have bumped uglies, yes ?
What Are They Thinking :
?“ Oh my god, i slept with THAT?”
“ I will never never never mix Scotch with ‘Shrooms and wedding cake again!”
“ What was her/his name ?”
“ Does she/he do this with every lawyer she/he meets at a wedding?”
“What if she/he regrets what we did ? I better just talk about
'doing lunch' soon and hope she/he doesn’t tell ________.”
“Please Lord, let me get out of here before she/he wakes up
and recognizes me from our last Family Reunion”
“ Should i point out that the Tux he was wearing would look
GREAT next June at Our Wedding ?”
“ Welp, there goes my 30 day chip at Sex Addicts Anonymous”
"I'd LIKE to call her/him, but they look worried. I better go"
"I wish it had been her/his sister......"
So what does this mean ? Simple:
Get off the PC and call him. If he pretends to not know
who you are or what you are talking about, you'll have your answer.
If you sit and ask strangers on a date site, you will never know.
Good Luck.
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| One night stand...any chance he'll call?
Posted: 1/13/2009 1:01:37 AM |
Get off the PC and call him. If he pretends to not know
who you are or what you are talking about, you'll have your answer.
If you sit and ask strangers on a date site, you will never know.
Lol..........was thinking the same thing,"Esad"......
Caroline,if, as you say,you'd hate to see him "slip away", CALL HIM.
You've already been to bed with him,so,what's the big deal in making a call ?
(hope for your sake,he wants to see you again,too !)
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| One night stand...any chance he'll call?
Posted: 1/13/2009 1:32:28 AM | | i think he may call..as far as the other stating that you should have communicated your wants/not wants beforehand, hell i know the same thing, sometimes great conversation and sex just happen, sometimes it just goes like that.....and even if you did communicate your wants/needs etc that does not mean that he would call either. it is too soon to tell....however since you are both lawyers, highly successful, educated individuals, i am thinking that he will call/email/text. | |
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| One night stand...any chance he'll call?
Posted: 1/13/2009 3:27:05 AM | A mixed bag of answers... (Give it a go - You have nothing to lose and so much to gain...)
Hey! You might meet him and decide you don't like him that much after all...
(Personally - I always call, even send flowers, sometimes they are pleased to hear from you, other times, you never get to speak again...)
Good luck! And don't beat yourself up! | |
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| One night stand...any chance he'll call?
Posted: 1/13/2009 3:43:14 AM | | Don't let some of the more angry posters get you down OP. The fact is, he may not call.. but you do have the means to call him up and see if he'd like to see you again. He could very well be sitting back wondering whether or not you WANT him to call. There are times in life when passion just flows and you go with it... it doesn't always work out for the best, but at the very least you have a memory of having had great sex with someone you enjoyed for a short time.. | |
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| One night stand...any chance he'll call?
Posted: 1/13/2009 4:20:59 AM |
You are kiddin us right... you had great sex half cut.. bs.. no such beast.. anyone drunk can't rate there own bowel movements let alone their sexual performance. You tell me that a one night stand is great sex and I gottah tell yah you must be a lawyer.. oh yah .. you already told us that !!!
Great sex is about connection and communication.. and if your interpretation of great sex is two people who don't have a clue about each other slapping gonads... then you and the mail man or the guy at your service station must give you an orgasm the minute you say "ah".
Now I am no swammy but Sylvia Browne was likely having an orgasm the entire evening you two were slipping around..
Okay kid, now that I took off my rose colored glasses besides the scotch was lookin funny in it .. and I just got out the poloroids .. I don't think that mister one night times all night sex will call you unless he has trouble finding more one night stands, and if he heads to the fishing waters here he will likely be kept busy with that until he reaches about 98 then he might settle down.. or reach impotence only because the viagra or some dame blew his pec-ker off.
He may call you .. but according to the heart, lung and penis association .. with or without donating his big brain to science .. Nah I seriously doubt that a good lay will come out of a good lie .. course then again ..you 2 are both lawyers write... hah..
PS Never put anything in your body that you think might be bad for it .. and when you want to have great sex next time try to be present to it .., as in not drunk.. the only sexual act worth engaging in is one of now and with someone that you desire because you admire ... not a lustful bag of bones... you can get that trip anywhere. )
sorry ^^^ soft at heart there is no such thing as meet and greet passionate sex, doesn't exist .. sex is no different than any other exercise you gottah know the team player and have had a good tango and love the skin they are in .. or it is unconnected sex .. . unless you are Michael Douglas and Sharon Stone.. and even when I watched it .. it did nuttin for me .. but Richard Burton and Cleopatra ... now I could tell that chemistry was gonnah go somewhere .. holey heck I could feel my basal body goin off the wrecked -her scale.. oh yah..
wow, doesn't someone sound like they're on a high horse.....with a hint of "bitter man-hater" thrown in for good measure.....
of course, you're entitled to your own opinion, but must realize it's only that....an opinion. drunk or not, if they remember it as a great time, who's to say they're wrong?
OP, if you like the guy, why wait for him to call you? you're really gonna let someone you like slip away because of some old-fashioned idea that the guy has to be the one to call the girl back? last time i checked this was 2009, not 1009.....
and if it does turn out that he isn't interested in anything further with you, well....at least you will know instead of just guessing if he may call you back or not. you already got your amazing sex out of it, so just chalk it up to a good time that you'll always remember. | |
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| One night stand...any chance he'll call?
Posted: 1/13/2009 5:21:58 AM | | Based on personal experience when I've had one night stands or sex within the first couple of dates I lose interest. It's almost as if there's this complete shift of power because now that desire to pursue is kind of taken away. My best advice would be to don't act clingy or needy or even like anything even happened. If you put out that vibe now after he's already had you then you take away any more initiative to pursue you if he actually likes you. | |
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| One night stand...any chance he'll call?
Posted: 1/13/2009 6:38:14 AM |
any chance he'll call?
Wrong question. Better question: "Do you think I'll see him again?" Answer: If you want to, yes. Gone are the days when guy must make the first, second, third move. If you want to see him again, call him up. What can you lose?
From personal experience, had only one true one night stand in my life. That happened 33 years ago when I was 18. I looked her up a little more than a year ago and we've maintained an email correspondence since then. Anything's possible. Figure out what you want and don't be shy about going and getting it. | |
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| One night stand...any chance he'll call?
Posted: 1/13/2009 6:45:05 AM | There is no one answer. Everyone is different and every "one night stand" is different. From my experience it usually based on how I felt about the woman before sleeping with her.
The term "one night stand" conjures up the negative picture of a one night quickie with no follow-up. But if you take a more possitive perspective, your romantic night may have been just that - a romantic night between two people who may have a had a spark between them that just needs a little kindling.
There are MANY strong relationships that started off with sex on the first date (They were adults, had that instant chemistry and it felt right). I don't go for that "you took the challenge out of it" comment. Most likely those realtionships wouldn't have lasted even if ther couple hadd waited. If you think of the other person as a conquest that doesn't say much about what was there to start off with.
Think positive. You both were attracted to each other and showed it.
I'd vote for calling him. If he's like me, that little indication that you're interested may be just what he needs. If it doesn't work, it won't have done any damage - - either he wasn't really interested from the start; or, if it turns him off (as some may claim), he doesn't have your sensitivety and wasn't for you anyway. | |
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| One night stand...any chance he'll call?
Posted: 1/13/2009 8:13:07 AM | I guess I dont understand how you could be comfortable enough to go to bed with him, but you are unsure if you should call him?
Just call, or email and tell him you enjoyed yourself. Then he will have a reason to respond. He will ask you out again if he is interested. If not, then you have your answer. | |
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| One night stand...any chance he'll call?
Posted: 1/13/2009 8:19:21 AM | | Stop waiting... If you like him, then CALL. You never know what might happen and it sucks to relly regret things (like not contacting him) later... | |
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| One night stand...any chance he'll call?
Posted: 1/13/2009 8:45:35 AM | he will call , if not use your networking skills and contact him its 2009 , its allowed , you both had a good time , he will want more .... just like u do !!!!! wait a few days , no call ... thats your cue to call him ........ Men like being approached just the same as women do !!!!
JMO | |
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| One night stand...any chance he'll call?
Posted: 1/13/2009 12:03:40 PM | Op don't let it rule your thoughts that you felt bad afterwards. You are human so don't beat yourself up over that. You sound like a decent lady to me because this is not a practise you partake in all the time. You felt at the time it was great so appreciate it for what it was and might still be... Just because this happened so soon does not make a man not want to be with you for the long haul. I'm wondering why you are getting knocked down for such a thing and no one has said "what a dirty slut" he was for engaging the same with you. See it is a double standard again! You let your guard down for crying out loud...you didn't go get drunk (which if you were that drunk...you wouldn't have remembered) deliberately. He may call you but then again why not call him. Like another poster said it is 50/50. Just don't sweat the little things in life and enjoy it. | |
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| One night stand...any chance he'll call?
Posted: 1/13/2009 12:06:37 PM | I've dated someone after a one nighter. We didn't just meet and have sex, mind you. We were out, enjoying ourselves, got to know each other just a bit and the sparks flew. Next thing you know we're in bed, on the floor, in the living room, you get the idea. We dated for some time afterward, too.
It all depends. | |
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