| One night stand...any chance he'll call?
Posted: 1/13/2009 12:06:46 PM | | precisely why this lady does NO one night stands. Too much risk for me. now for cliff diving, I'm there lol. If you do not engage in one night stands you have less chance of catching a disease, getting pregnant and you don't have to worry about whether or not he'll call. JMO | |
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| One night stand...any chance he'll call?
Posted: 1/13/2009 3:38:09 PM | Do guys call after one nite stands? Sometimes. Will this guy? I doubt it. I only say that because you live in different cities. It's one thing to date someone and then have it become long distance, but it's totally different to start out long distance.
I think that's a pretty valid point. I've had one nighters become relationships, but they have been people I've seen around a fair bit. I've known them before, one lived opposite a friend, and others went to same places I did. We then had a chance for it to develop without it being a big deal. I did meet someone completely randomly that I went out with for 3 years, but he was the exception (and in the same city).
I don't think people don't set-out to not get back in touch, but sometimes they don't know you and if you're miles away they don't get the chance to get to know you as a person. Especially if he's in a different city then he has to think "hmmm, should I call someone I happened to get together with and get on a plane/train/drive to go and meet her".
But you never know, good luck. | |
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| One night stand...any chance he'll call?
Posted: 1/13/2009 4:27:49 PM | | No guy is going to buy the cow if the milk is for free. A guy will call if there is a arrangement to were it might be just" booty calls". Nut it is always awkward after drunk sex. You wake up sober and realize what you did is sometimes uncomfortable.From my experience I would never date a woman that I would have sex on the first night. Most men love a challenge. The longer you make him wait the more he is going to want you. But always remember don't make him wait to long. | |
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| One night stand...any chance he'll call?
Posted: 1/13/2009 6:49:54 PM | | Well it has been a while and I have grown since my late 20's but I hate to say I rarely called targets of opportunity. Hopefully this guy is not who I was. | |
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| One night stand...any chance he'll call?
Posted: 1/13/2009 7:05:11 PM | i guess, since his parents and mine are such good friends and since we have so much in common, that i hate to think of myself as "a target of opportunity." although, i'll admit i'm a little naive. maybe i'm crazy to think that i am--or should be--anything else.
although...he's going to have to run into me at several more weddings in the spring, so it would be much better if we put the awkwardness to rest.
i guess anything bad that comes of this now is my own damn fault for sleeping with him. | |
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| One night stand...any chance he'll call?
Posted: 1/13/2009 7:09:32 PM | Did u call him like was suggested Caroline?
Ya know he might be having the same negative thoughts as you.......
C'mon.....girl.......grab the bull by the horns.....
I know u got it in you......hell.....the guts to get thru schooling and do what u do proves that.....
Maybe he's waiting on you to let him know this wasn't just a drunken moment for u...... | |
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| One night stand...any chance he'll call?
Posted: 1/14/2009 5:16:49 AM | Im with MsMicki just call him, what do you have to loose. If he felt the same as you he will be happy you called and may want to make plans with you. If he didn't then you will know, and wont have to wonder anymore. At least you can move on and stop wondering. Guys I really don't like it when you tell us you will call us if you don't mean to call us. However, as I have gotten older I have actually gotten to the point where I have spoken to some men and they have explained to me why they do that. Some of them had the intention to call but chickened out at the last minute. Some of them say it but they didn't mean it, because they had a girlfriend, or where married or where in some type of a relationship. Which now that I am older I understand it better and I dont take it as personal as I once did. I just wish that men and women could be more honest with each other from the get go. Hell one time with someone is not enough to really get to know that person. For those of you that chicken out because you think that she may not be the one, think about it and why not give that person a second date. What do you have to loose? Well we live in such a selfish civilization that we may be judging people in just looks and we may not be seeing the whole package. Lets face it we have to stop being so picky. Im speaking for both men and women. I know how picky us women get after 40's. If your not sure or you are hesitating then give that person another try. Dont go to bed with them the second time if that was the case. Get to know them, go out to a coffee shop...lol or something Thats my two cents. Hope someone gets it.  | |
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| One night stand...any chance he'll call?
Posted: 1/14/2009 9:25:57 PM | "Once an object of desire is obtained, the desire for that object is usually lost.
One night stands are generally a bad idea all together. In order to keep someone, you must give them a desire to be with you. Something that they crave and will continue to crave. Men lust after sex and eventually find love. Women lust after falling in love and eventually find sex.
What that means is this, men who have sex too early will never find love and will not find a reason to stick around.
Women who find love too early in a relationship tend to harm the relationship as a whole, since she is known as clingy. When the man finds love, then the women is able to open her heart up as well to accept the love that is shown from the man. The man then gains sex (The thing he has been longing for) and the women eventually obtains sex as well. The love that the man experiences will not deteriorate and neither will the love that a women has been lusting after this entire time. "
COME ON LADIES PLEASE DON'T FALL FOR THIS MUMBO JUMBO CRAP...This is to me smarts of keep your pants on and wait til he falls in love with you.
Yes, well, a good time and great sex was had by all...there are no rules, even though two smart women sold a lot of books on how to trap men into thinking you were something you are not. The book was called the Rules or some crap like that. If you really like the guy don't sleep with him, oh and if you aren't into him, just sleep with him and who cares if he doesn't call. Can anyone really see how stupid this is or is it just me.
NM | |
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| One night stand...any chance he'll call?
Posted: 1/14/2009 9:36:24 PM | Yes, we do call at times. And it's not the wham bam thank you ma'am mindset either. Sometimes you get a vibe while you're with her that this isn't going any further than one night of good, clean adult fun. You're physically together but mentally you may be elsewhere.
It's a feeling out process for both of you.
There's no way to know how he feels until you talk to him yourself. I have no idea whether he would call or not. | |
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| One night stand...any chance he'll call?
Posted: 1/16/2009 2:22:59 PM | Well this post started 3 days ago and no update on whether this guy called......so I assume that the OP received her answer in his silence.......
On a side note....I don't get the "attraction" of a one-night-stand.......if the sex was good, great, or mediocre.....wouldn't a guy want to have it again? Isn't easier to get someone in the sack a second time? The first time is what takes all the work, like finding your way around in a new city, you have to really pay attention and make all the right turns and such.....but the next time you go downtown, it's not as complicated and you don't have to backtrack as much.....I dunno, I always call the next day........
Maybe the OP will enlighten us on whether there has been any further communication with this man...... | |
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| One night stand...any chance he'll call?
Posted: 1/16/2009 2:55:50 PM | I can't answer for him, but for myself yes I have. Lets face it most of us have done this and for one reason or another we haven't called, men and women. But if the sex was the bomb, the other person has all the qualities you want most of the time I think it turns into something, at least sexually but can grow into a LTR.
Good luck to you. | |
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| One night stand...any chance he'll call?
Posted: 1/16/2009 3:05:46 PM | For me It depends on the situation. How attractive was she? Was there any realistic chance that a LTR could work out? Was I interested in a LTR at that moment? I also agree with what others have stated. If you like a man, call him. The phone is a two way form of communication.
Too much risk for me. now for cliff diving, I'm there lol. If you do not engage in one night stands you have less chance of catching a disease, getting pregnant and you don't have to worry about whether or not he'll call.
You could have just as easily gotten pregnant if you had known a man for 5 yrs before having sex with him. Unless both you and your partner were tested, the same thing applies to getting STDs. You wouldn't know your partner's previous sexual history. | |
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jolia
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Joined: 2/25/2008
Msg: 65 | |
| One night stand...any chance he'll call?
Posted: 1/16/2009 3:11:47 PM | Dear OP,
I think he might call you or he might not. I don't think the fact you had this kind of encounter kills your chances. Not unless he is a macho man kind of guy, which in that case you don't want to date anyways. In any case he was also a party to the deed.
I would just wait and see... this things happens in the best families LOL. i f nothing happens, then at least you had lots of fun on that wedding party.
Best wishes and relax...life is ahead of you. | |
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| One night stand...any chance he'll call?
Posted: 1/17/2009 9:06:41 AM | | howbigisyourlove..."according to the heart, lung and penis association'....your priceless! Personally one night stands are NOT what I am interested in...now big....your comments hit it right on the ***** (could use a lot of terms here...lol). Let the chemistry build ladies! Everyone is going to define great sex differently...I am interested in mutual feelings FIRST and of course a committment...let the chemistry build, communicate openly and express your thoughts and feelings- A MUST for me...I agree we are all sexual beings but this one night stand stuff....Not at all what I am looking for...besides a great man should be worth the wait. Do I believe a woman enjoys sex with a man...as a one night stand...Our bodies are much more complex then a mans...do I even need to state this for women? Doubt it...A one time sexual partner can not identify EXACTLY what a women needs for the BEST RESULTS...Perhaps building a mutual, respectful, and caring relationship with someone and compare the difference will allow many to value the difference....However....that said to EACH their OWN choice! | |
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| One night stand...any chance he'll call?
Posted: 1/17/2009 9:28:13 AM |
So, my question is: do guys ever call after one night stands? Guys--have you ever ended up dating someone after something like this?
My answer is yes I have always called, and yes I have always dated,, it may have not been for a long time,, but the point was to get to know each other,, and of course to have sex again,, once is never enough,, well in most cases,, | |
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| One night stand...any chance he'll call?
Posted: 1/19/2009 7:02:37 PM | since y'all gave me some excellent advice, i'd like to give you an update:
he sent me a couple of text messages last wednesday. i'm not a huge fan of texting, but it's better than nothing. saturday, i decided to just take the risk and tell him i wanted to keep in touch. what do i have to lose, right? so i sent him an e-mail saying that i had fun and that i'd like to get to know him better. he sent me something confusing in return. it could be either sarcastic or mean. his e-mail read:
Wait you want to get to know me a little better aren’t you suppose to do that first. We are kind of working backwards here. I am just kidding sounds like a plan. Hope you had a good weekend.
so i wrote back and said that i hoped that was sarcastic and not just flat mean. he wrote me back right away, said it was sarcastic ("i was just playing with you...") and that he looks forward to getting to know each other better too. but that was it.
anyway, i feel made fun of and judged...but, like i said, i haven't been in this situation before, and i really don't know how to handle it. | |
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| One night stand...any chance he'll call?
Posted: 1/19/2009 7:05:43 PM | OP, simple answer is if he really liked you, he'll call. If he didn't, he won't.
Best of luck.
*edit, just read above.
What that was was pretty tactless. I would take that as a sign of what's to come with this guy.
No idea if he meant anything by it, I wouldn't assume so. | |
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| One night stand...any chance he'll call?
Posted: 1/19/2009 8:42:50 PM | I’ve had one-night-stands turn into long-term relationships too.
And a goodly number that didn’t.
Neither is all that difficult to do.
You go big or you go home.
But I suggest a middle ground.
Offer to fuk him silly for a month. Monogamously. Includes dinners, breakfast, walks, whatever. And if there’s not enough of substance to carry on after that, you both walk away guilt-free, no obligation, no regrets.
(BTW, if he hasn't updated his sexual attitudes since Leave it to Beaver, this may not be a good idea)
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| One night stand...any chance he'll call?
Posted: 1/19/2009 8:55:40 PM | | after reading what he texted you I think you're loosing your sense of humor, I honestly think he was just teasing you in a nice way, and i would have thought that the first text he sent ya, the fact that you questioned his teasing makes you seem a little humorless and insecure. When he said "we are kinda working backwards here" he realized you both made a snap decision and it was obviously because you were attracted to each other , but the way he worded that made me think one night stands isnt his usual deal either. I think he actually thinks you're cool and I think he does want to get to know you. Stop being insecure and laugh at his jokes, it was only a joke. :) | |
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| One night stand...any chance he'll call?
Posted: 1/19/2009 9:15:38 PM | if it felt right for you both and you did spend most of the night talking why not?
i can relate because i had a one night stand and married the gal and the exitement of the one night stand lasted eight years.
he will call and from your description of the evening if he does not call he will remember you always.good memories are hard to come by.
call him darlin | |
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| One night stand...any chance he'll call?
Posted: 1/19/2009 9:16:21 PM | So OP, you answered your own original question in your update (msg. 68). Yes, guys will call (or make contact) after a first date 'encounter'. Now that he did, that wasn't good enough, either, was it? What do you want from this guy? What do you want for yourself? IMO, you need to have a serious discussion with yourself. You are being reticent and defensive with this guy. Why? Figure out what YOU want so you can determine if this guy even can offer it. There's a big clue for you in msg. 30.
~ds~ | |
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| One night stand...any chance he'll call?
Posted: 1/19/2009 9:40:06 PM | ok I hate to have to say this but it's the truth, so here it goes.
since you had sex with him the first night you guys met, all you will ever be to him if anything is a booty call. It doesn't matter how smart, pretty, intelligent, successful, great you are, he knows you're a sure thing. The only time he will call is when he's horny frankly. It's sad that we can't find a man, have instant chemistry, great sex, and also start a relationship, but it unfortunately does not work that way. If it does, write a book about it; you'll make a fortune - way more than you'll ever make as a lawyer. | |
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| One night stand...any chance he'll call?
Posted: 1/19/2009 10:07:10 PM | No offense to the OP, but you are both lawyers and you didn't discuss if this was going to be a one night stand before you boinked him? The fact you both drank and talked the whole night, suggests that maybe he wanted the sex, as you did, but thats that.
My question is, while this was your first time, was it his as well? If not, does that concern you? | |
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