| A serious sexual question for men and women
Posted: 1/15/2009 7:07:26 AM | Kirota, I share your outrage and totally understand your impulse to smack that girl upside the head. She's really pathetic. I commend you for acting on your convictions and walking out. Those who would say that you are judgmental or that you over reacted are suggesting that you are not entitled to have an opinion or to express it.
Good job! | |
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| A serious sexual question for men and women
Posted: 1/15/2009 7:53:44 AM | friendlyfreespirit:
And compleat man? I never said I was anti-prostitution. Never. I was trying to point out to a 22-year-old woman - who said she had no drug addiction, no reason to prostitute herself except for extra money on top of her full-time job - how her choosing to do so can harm her in ways she hadn't imagined. The repercussions are harsh.
and you blithely accept abortion? no warning of possible harmful effects there? .do you really think that having 8 abortions might not have harmful effects, both physical and psychological ?
it is not that uncommon for women to have depression and guilt feelings years later.. | |
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| A serious sexual question for men and women
Posted: 1/15/2009 7:56:50 AM | | abortions are murder. if you choose to have unprotected sex and get pregnant, you have a responsibility to uphold. that goes for us guys too(if you GET a woman pregnant) | |
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| A serious sexual question for men and women
Posted: 1/15/2009 8:17:28 AM |
do you really think that having 8 abortions might not have harmful effects, both physical and psychological
That can happen, but it's not your business. (Where's your picture?)
I find this whole thing to be strange. OP and others who share her view that one abortion is ok while more than one is not--apparently there are many--aren't bad people, but they DO seem to be implying that *I* am a bad person for thinking abortion is just fine for any reason. Have as many as you want. Suffer the consequences, if you have any. I think women who choose this option feel the conseqeunces of having a child outweigh the POSSIBLE consequences of abortion. Who am I to judge? (Who are you?) | |
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| A serious sexual question for men and women
Posted: 1/15/2009 8:28:43 AM | Kirota
When I read your post I had a WTF moment myself. I don't know how she can even walk around proud as women having this done 8 times! She sound like a whore and a mental case. She must like to be hollowed out like a pumkin. I have had the unfortunate task of having to have this done once in a realtionship that I was in. I was there with her the whole time, (not to say that I could have waited outside in the waiting room) but I seen it through. And I will say it is not on the most memorable things in life list.
This woman is chopped and screwed on so many levels. I would have to say that she must have felt comfortable in your friendship to devulge this information to you, and now feels exposed. I don't know if you can continue being friends with her after knowing this and how strongly you feel about the issue, if anything maybe that you can find somehow just to be civil to each other. | |
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| A serious sexual question for men and women
Posted: 1/15/2009 8:46:49 AM | I am 150% pro-choice. However I like to think that supportes like me also feel they would :
PREFER that women ONLY have children when the are emotionally and financially ready
PREFER that women use other birth control
PREFER that women use adoption if they cant handle raising their child
PREFER that women choose abortion only as a last resort.
However with allowing choice, we allow women to choose paths would we wouldnt like nor follow. We cannot say 1 is OK, but 2, 4, 6 aren't. You cannot place limits if you truly want freedom of choice. I can easily see this women not being able to carry a baby to full term when she might want one and that would be sad, but fitting. She chose to put her body through reproductive trauma so many times and sometimes it has repercussions.
Kirota - since you were SO upset by her actions/attitude, storming off didn't do anything to change the situation. I'm sure it had no impact on her. But you might have missed an opportunity. You could have befriended her, found out way she did this, why her attitude was so 'flip', warned her of dangers, maybe steered her towards counseling. It certainly was not your responsibility, but instead of leaving in a huff and just complaining about it on a forum, you could have made done something and made a difference.
Just my 2 cents... | |
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| A serious sexual question for men and women
Posted: 1/15/2009 9:54:20 AM | | you gotta do what you gotta do.....obviously i would think a more intelligent person would be just a littttle bit more careful to avoid pregnancy, but at least she didn't bring any kids into the world that she couldn't provide for. | |
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| A serious sexual question for men and women
Posted: 1/15/2009 10:11:35 AM | many people who claim to be 100% pro-choice seem very emotional about this topic...is that because in some corner of their mind they don't really believe that having an abortion is quite the equivalent of taking a piss or shit, or blowing their nose ( blowing a piece of snot out)?
don't hate now..but had to ask..
I think almost all of us 'judge' all the time. often for REALLY petty things like : "his/her car/shoes/clothes aren't up to standard..therefore s/he is 'beneath' me" , etc.
s/he who doesn't at all must be 1 in 6 billion or so? how would you 'prevent' anyone from having the "right to judge"? pass anew law whereby the Thought Police can scan our brain waves and arrest us for having "wrong" thoughts? | |
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| A serious sexual question for men and women
Posted: 1/15/2009 11:35:05 AM | Tatooed Lawyer, your the one that is full of shit. It is a 6month gestation infant. And he had all his parts. You must have been on drugs when you watched it. ANd I highly doubt if it was on a porn site. Idiot | |
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| A serious sexual question for men and women
Posted: 1/15/2009 11:44:40 AM |
I find this whole thing to be strange. OP and others who share her view that one abortion is ok while more than one is not--apparently there are many--aren't bad people, but they DO seem to be implying that *I* am a bad person for thinking abortion is just fine for any reason. Have as many as you want. Suffer the consequences, if you have any. I think women who choose this option feel the conseqeunces of having a child outweigh the POSSIBLE consequences of abortion. Who am I to judge? (Who are you?)
So, why are you harping here then? Why are you harping at us for thinking it shouldn't be used as an everyday method of birth control. Why? Apparently it is alright for you to judge and harp at us for the way we think, yet we can't feel it is not okay to use it for birth control. Where did "I" say "YOU" were a bad person for thinking that. I have said several times now that I won't call myself pro choice or any other label when it comes to this. I do have the right to think that abortion is okay for a mistake, an assault, or for medical reasons, but do not think it is okay because someone can't put a condom on a man or a pill in their mouth. "YOU" have no right to tell me I have no right to judge someone...........you didn't give birth to me nor do you pay my bills. Do we not judge political candidates by what they say and what they have done............if we didn't why not just pull a name out of a hat. You must think it is alright to judge someone based on what you feel is alright to judge them by.
Kirota - since you were SO upset by her actions/attitude, storming off didn't do anything to change the situation. I'm sure it had no impact on her. But you might have missed an opportunity. You could have befriended her, found out way she did this, why her attitude was so 'flip', warned her of dangers, maybe steered her towards counseling. It certainly was not your responsibility, but instead of leaving in a huff and just complaining about it on a forum, you could have made done something and made a difference.
I am not qualified to help someone who thinks its alright to do such things. I'm sure she has some issues, but knowing what I know about his girl further confirms that walking away from her was the best choice I could make. As I said before.........I'm not certain that her past is so far in her past...........
I'm sure you are right that my leaving had no impact on her.........if 8 abortions and 3 kids isn't a big enough impact nothing I say could be. | |
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| A serious sexual question for men and women
Posted: 1/15/2009 1:00:30 PM | While I am pro-choice because it is not for me to judge; I do wonder how someone could let this happen 8 times. This woman admitted that it happened because she had unprotected sex so she knew full well how babies were made and when she dropped her pants she was taking a chance. OMG, this woman didn't have any problem making an appointment for the abortion (you don't exactly walk in to your neighborhood mall for this) but she couldn't take time out to make a gyno appt so she could get some birth control????????? From what I know, I do believe the doctor performing the abortion will write you a prescription right then and there for birth control if you so desire. H-E-Double Hockey sticks, 12 months of birth control pills if nothing else is cheaper than a single abortion!!!!
I'm sorry but 8 times is just reprehensible for any female who so nonchalantly claims it was because of unprotected sex. Good Lord, I'm in my 40's and I've known about birth control since I was in the 6th grade when we had the boys and girls movies that showed us the facts of life. | |
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| A serious sexual question for men and women
Posted: 1/15/2009 1:50:33 PM | Abortion is a form of birth control, though most of us consider it a last resort.
One young man suggested the morning after pill. Unfortunately, we in the USA can't get the morning after pill because of our schizophrenic abortion laws.
So she brought up her devil may care past and you freaked out OP.
I might not have wanted to be friends with someone who has such a lackadaisical attitude towards their body, but I probably wouldn't have walked out. I might have asked her why she didn't consider other methods of birth control or if she hadn't been worried about STD's, but I would have stayed. But hey I am long-suffering like that. | |
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| A serious sexual question for men and women
Posted: 1/15/2009 2:23:34 PM | Yes, Kirota, it's a serious double standard-I have no children and was always careful not to-it's that kind of immature action that makes my (and, yes, I am-) liberal head spin! I don't know where some women's heads are at these days... | |
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| A serious sexual question for men and women
Posted: 1/15/2009 6:13:16 PM |
Tatooed Lawyer, your the one that is full of shit. It is a 6month gestation infant. And he had all his parts. You must have been on drugs when you watched it. ANd I highly doubt if it was on a porn site. Idiot
If it had all its "parts" and by implication is a human being then what right does it have to be a parasite sucking off another human being? No human being has the right to force me into a host-parasite relationship. I know this argument sounds silly but it’s a logical one if you insist that a fetus is a human life that should be protected.
The fact of the matter is that most abortions take place when the fetus is the size of a giant booger. It LOOKS like a booger. It's not a miniature one-centimeter baby with hands, feet, eyes, etc.
Why is it that when the booger arrives on the scene, it is endowed by anti-choice nutjobs with human qualities yet the already living actually existing human woman that is carrying the booger is treated as irrelevant? | |
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| A serious sexual question for men and women
Posted: 1/15/2009 7:49:36 PM | ^^ I love your post! You hit it spot on 
the booger arrives on the scene, it is endowed by anti-choice nutjobs with human qualities yet the already living actually existing human woman that is carrying the booger is treated as irrelevant?
No one could have said it better! | |
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| A serious sexual question for men and women
Posted: 1/15/2009 9:26:03 PM | " Luckily our country allows us to disagree and allows women to choose what to do with their bodies. The woman was pretty stupid, but she has a point about unwanted children"
I understand you being upset at that amount we all would be upset but she did say when she was younger..............how young ?
Not taking her side in anyway but perhaps she came from a dysfunctunal family and sex and family planning advice was not available from her parents/school and then when she was older that side got dealt with......
Have you been back and discussed why so many.... i would be horrified if my friend said it to me but i would proberly chatted more to find out why she ended up having so many before i judge her as a person.... | |
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| A serious sexual question for men and women
Posted: 1/15/2009 10:16:20 PM | If someone does not see a fetus as life, they will not see anything wrong with using it as a form of birth control. If someone see's a fetus as life, they will see it as murder. End of thread!!!
If you want to have a meaningful discussion on rather or not your response was appropriate, you will first have to answer the question of is a fetus life and I don't expect that society is going to agree on that in our lifetimes. | |
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| A serious sexual question for men and women
Posted: 1/15/2009 10:19:23 PM | Hey BBW,
We in the US can get the morning after pill...
In fact, you can get it from the pharmacist without a prescription in some stores if you're over 18. And you can always get it at Planned Parenthood!
However, expecting someone who not only had 8 abortions, but talks about them casually with strangers, to be logical and sensible is a waste of energy. | |
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| A serious sexual question for men and women
Posted: 1/16/2009 3:40:18 AM | | OP, several years ago I got together with a friend of mine that I had lost touch with for a long while. While we were catching up, she told me that since we had parted ways she had four abortions. I was pretty shocked and disgusted as well.. Even worse was that she had two children that were born when we were still close, and she wasn't at all a good mother to them.. That was a big part of why we went our separate ways... Although I think it's disgusting that people can be so ignorant and not take proper precautions, I'm very happy indeed they have the choice to abort and choose to do so. There are way too many children in this world suffering because their parents either didn't have, or didn't take the option... There really aren't words to describe what I think of the whole thing, but would you want someone that could have 8 abortions and brag about it... actually having a child instead? | |
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| A serious sexual question for men and women
Posted: 1/16/2009 5:56:02 AM | | If my 16 year old daughter had an abortion, my grandson would not exist today. So simple to me. Am I pro choice? Absolutely not. In my opinion, a woman who uses abortion as a form of birth control is extremely immature, irresponsible and incredibly selfish. | |
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| A serious sexual question for men and women
Posted: 1/16/2009 6:04:46 AM | I'm with ya on this girlfriend,but i don't think i could have held my temper as good as you did. I truely don't believe in abortion for any reasons unless it puts your life in jeapordy, but just because you don't use protection naaaah i believe if your woman enough to spread your legs and **** then you should be woman enough to take care of it,or atleast give it to someone that really wants and deserves kids that can't have them. JMO  | |
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| A serious sexual question for men and women
Posted: 1/16/2009 6:35:13 AM | I understand you being upset at that amount we all would be upset but she did say when she was younger..............how young ?
Because of guilt from some of the posts I got about the way I handled it I have asked questions. Haven't spoke to her, but to my co worker. This woman's past isn't that far behind her...........8 abortions and 3 kids the youngest not quit one with 3 different men at 27yrs old leads me to believe that if she has changed it must be pretty resent. Which like many have said isn't any of my business. From what I understand she finds me just as repulsive as I find her........which is fine and dandy with me.
As for some saying it's better that she terminated the pregnancy instead of having a child........part of me agree's and part of me doesn't. It leads to a whole new debate......
I'm with ya on this girlfriend,but i don't think i could have held my temper as good as you did.
Ah girl........I got practice from DH land.......lmao. You know what that was like!!!! I will admit that I am short tempered and by nature a fighter. Growing up I had to be, but since having my girls it has mellowed me out. I have learned to walk about before saying or doing something that I will regret later. We all know our limits.........I reached mine at the moment and walked away. Now if I saw her I would still be disgusted, but not angry. | |
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| A serious sexual question for men and women
Posted: 1/16/2009 8:33:44 AM |
I think women who choose this option feel the conseqeunces of having a child outweigh the POSSIBLE consequences of abortion. Who am I to judge? (Who are you?)
If you are saying that because something is legal..the law allows it..no-one has a right to judge..>?
then consider..
In most countries, and most of the states in the USA, it is legal for a 50-year old man to have a sexual relationship with a 16-year old girl..(in your state, 17)
there is no state where it would not be legal with an 18-year old girl.
does that mean you would not judge that man? because obviously many POF posters would..and have, repeatedly in numerous threads..
or for that matter, a 50-year old woman and a 16 year old boy, is legal.
it is legal to produce the nastiest type(s) of pornography you can imagine in many places..legal to produce weapons of mass destruction and spend $$ billions to research and produce 'better' ways to slaughter people.
it is legal for someone to collect welfare, lay in bed all day and drink 3 liters of whiskey a day in many places.
does that mean you would never judge an able-bodied and person of 'sound mind' who does that?
hmmm..
no 'judgement' ever of any of these activities? sometimes the law is an ass.. | |
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