| Divorce Etiquette
Posted: 1/17/2009 3:47:03 AM | As one stated earlier, in the first year or so, I can understand the situation.
I also know that people with nothing to hide, hide nothing. | |
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| Divorce Etiquette
Posted: 1/17/2009 3:57:37 AM | Being the ex wife (although we are still not divorced) I can tell you my story and see if it makes any sense to you.
We were married for 23 years and he has an affair, we tried to make it work but it was a no go. He moved in with her but we had a 15 year old son. Eventually I had to tell his family we were split because he wouldn't. It took about a year for him to introduce her to his family and he never said but i assumed it was his own guilt feelings and the fact that i was so close to his family.
I would never have asked my ex to keep her away from those i loved but i didn't like the idea of her moving in on what i had come to consider "my family". Maybe this ex is more demanding of his time and doesn't have what it takes to put his girlfriend first?I won't pretend to know what my ex's relationship is like, but its been 10 years now and we are both very happy with our partners...so given enough time it may work out for your friend...
but even to me 3 years is pretty excessive.
Pip | |
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| Divorce Etiquette
Posted: 1/17/2009 4:59:29 AM | The reason a year is the standard time limit is you have been able to establish all reactions to all major events in a person's daily life: Christmas, birthdays, vacations, holidays, all four seasons, etc. Once those have pass, you have some sort of benchmark on how to proceed after that.
After three years, it's not going to change drastically. If she isn't allow in his circle of friends and family by then, it ain't going to happen.
BTW, Rockman, you rule! | |
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| Divorce Etiquette
Posted: 1/17/2009 5:46:39 AM |
This is what I would tell my friend!:
Hey dumb a$$, stop whining to me about this crap! I'm tired of you wanting me to live in your drama!
You have been dealing with it for 3 years now!
thats the way I feel as well,it gets old having to listen to the ****ing of people about how miserable they are in relationships when its up to them to change it. | |
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Akepr
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Joined: 3/25/2009
Msg: 30 | |
| Divorce Etiquette
Posted: 5/20/2009 5:13:27 PM | | Dying to know why..... I might be able to clear that up for you. I would venture to say you are right... there is something up here..... more than meets the eye.......the one thing about a forum is it can be manipulated to achieve a desired response. So here goes. I will use the persons question who started the thread by saying...... I know a guy in just this same situation who is madly in love with a woman who he would like to introduce to his family......BUT she shows signs of instability. She has gone through his mail taking addresses of his friends off christmas cards, recording phone numbers from his address book, going on his computer and reading his stuff in documents files, finding ways to "back" into his emails..... Calling his friends and asking them not to mention that she had called and telling his friends the end result would be that he would beat her up. Calling his family and telling them she has seen them at events while they didn't know they were being watched. Then while on the calls she would bad mouth him to all his friends and family. He even had to have charges placed against her for assault. She would punch him and physically abuse him. He still had hope of her becoming "normal" so he would at sometime be able to introduce her to his family. He loves her deeply, BUT has come to the realization that he is a fool and his hope unreasonable. I know because I am the he in this situation. | |
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| Divorce Etiquette
Posted: 5/20/2009 5:48:30 PM | I remember being told some time ago that if you are dating a man and you have not met his family and his friends, you are NOT his girlfriend.
It still holds true.
She seems willing to tolerate it. I would have bailed before the one year mark. She has hung on for three years and has no one to blame but herself. | |
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