And last but not least... you're a****

but not nearly as retarded as "fishin4u266". At least YOU are not a coward and actually post your picture behind your mean, bitter comments.

*please refer to the great and wonderful OZ - he was a smartie*

I wont bother replying to people that say such brazen things while hiding behind a pictureless profile. I have a lot of respect for the people who will disagree and yet aren't afraid to show the person disagreeing.

You and the many other women here can blather on about how wrong we are in our take on what a woman means by " I want to take it slow", but you are STILL missing the point that every guy in the forum (I think) has had a similar experience with that statement...

^^^OK....so next time I see a hot guy on the street, I'll just jump him right there and then. After all, to know his name, if he's single, or if he's got a disease is just plain "unnatural". God forbid a woman actually find out more about a guy before she jumps in the sack. Ha.

Funny thing is, that men tend to frown on women who go this fast when they find out about it from her past, but I guess it's ok as long as they're the ones reaping the rewards.

Again, this guy has been dating this girl two or three weeks, not months - should she have slept with him within 24 hours? Would he be here posting threads about not knowing where she's been since it wasn't that hard to get in her pants?

I say as long as you're not spending too much money on her, you should be more than fine with the situation.

Don't you think that's a bit extreme? Occasionally I myself exaggerate to make a point, but lets be realistic here.

If you want to jump the guy because that's what really you want to do, and if he is down with it, then go for it. Have a great time.

Regarding STDs, get an STD test before you sleep with the guy. I don't think I have to tell you that, do I? It's simple process and fairly quick.

All in all I can't see it taking more that 2 to 4 weeks for the whole "get to know the other person" process after which you still continue learning about the other person but also enjoying each others company, sexually.

Let me ask you this: What's the time frame for "take it slow"? I know women who take it slow for 6+ months, and that's wrong. You either figure sh!t out in couple of weeks, a month at most, or let the guy go.

Excellent! Those are the a$$holes. Next time a guy says something like that to you, don't hook up with him.

I'm not interested in setting specific time lines. All I wanted to point out, is that when two people have the hots for each other, they don't "take it slow" - that very thought doesn't even cross their mind - that's my point.

If the guy posts threads here about his lady being "easy", what does that tell you about the guy?

And the point has nothing to do with getting in your pants quickly as if it's some type of world event competition. On the contrary, if you have the hots for me, for example, would WANT me to get in your pants as soon as possible.

Ouch! So if I do spend money on her, I should think she owes me sex?

ok x-file ur 26 so uhh yeah..hump doggy hump....as we mature and become more disciplined we can choose to be more human like...You can get hot & bothered & not HAVE to f*ck . Not everybody takes raw sex drive as the ultimate sentiment of affection..any dog can hump.. humpty dance humpty dance uh uh do me baybee lol

There are men here that feel that 2-3 weeks is cause to move on. What's an acceptable time frame for you? Oh, yeah you mentioned you don't do time frames - I suspect that's unless they are too long for you.

If it takes too long for the test to come back, will I lose points for that?

All I am saying is that 2-3 weeks isn't long enough to write someone off as a total villain based on being strung along - can you even technically string someone along for three weeks (outside of a customer service call)?

That's you. Each person and each couple is different about this...no one is right or wrong.

For me the time frame wouldn't be six months....and sure instantaneously might not be good either, but sheesh, less than a month isn't cause to freak out. Some people don't have more than 3-4 dates in that much time.

My point is, they are out there, and they contradict all this complaining about waiting too long...

Unless they have the common sense not to let that factor run their situation. People CAN control these urges and make sure they're learning what they need to before getting attached. You know, unlike men - women tend to actually get hung up on who they sleep with. Since most men don't have this problem - I can see why they don't get this. A woman will justify a guy that's no good for her if she follows her hormones, and a month isn't always enough time to know he's not boyfriend material.

Same thing a guy who posts that less than a month is long enough to be getting some tail from a woman he's been dating. They're both jumping to conclusions.

Wanting is wonderful....if you have any sense of responsibility and are mature by any stretch, you don't bindly act on that want. You make sure it's right for you.

LOL...no, but nice try on twisting things. My point is, if you're not bleeding money (and if you are, then stop doing that), what's your hurry?

I refuse to believe this is about feelings...I suspect it's more about how fast you get laid and how much money you feel you invested....based on the fact that most of you can't say no when someone demands you take them on a bunch of high priced dates.

If you a simmer a pot on the stove and don't let it boil over right away it keeps all its nutrients and goodness because it is not lost in the process of trying to cook it tooo fast

When you heat something up fast it spends all it's energy trying to boil!!!!!

IF you want something to mature naturally then you give it time.

You misunderstood again. I do set time frames, but for me, and me alone. I'm not willing to set a time frame for everyone else to follow.

If you want ice cream, and I want ice cream and we decide to get ice cream... what points? Now substitute "SDT test" for ice cream. What points? You are getting what you want and I'm getting what I want, it's 1 : 1.

Again that's you, right?

I don't quite understand what you mean. But let me say that I don't really care about a$$holes contradicting anything.

Yes, people can control these urges, but that's nasty way of putting it. These urges are more than just urges. In fact these feelings aren't urges at all. It's one thing to want to have sex with anyone, and another to want to have sex with a person who makes you "light up". If you don't make that distinction, then sex is just "an annoyance" that has to be dealt with.

And women don't get hung up on men who they sleep with. That is a myth. Some do, yet the rest use it as an excuse or a way to justify their position. But when you actually look at the how things are, women dump men, men dump women. Women cheat, men cheat. Women initiate divorce, and so do men. And actually women initial divorce 70% of the time.

And men do have "this problem". Though I rather not refer to it as a problem, but rather as what happens to person who cares about another but things don't work out. It's hurt feelings, and both men and women are vulnerable and both suffer equally, it's just that men are though to be though and not show it.

Are you generally indirect and "sneaky"? If you are going to take a shot at me, do it.

And you are still missing the point. If you have the hots for a guy you will WANT him get your tail. In fact you will be craving for him to get your tail. You will be offering your tail and quickly at that. I've seen what women do, and can do when they want a guy.

If you have any sense of responsibility he would wear a condom and you will be on birth control. If you were mature, you will take birth control into account and enjoy sex.

And yes, make sure it's right for you. But if you think a relationship is right for you, but sex is not, you should probably sit on the side lines and figure somethings out.

Perhaps it is true. But what does it say about the woman "demanding" the high priced dates?

If we say, yes, that's true, most guys can't say no to demands, then it follows that most women are b!tches, freeloaders, and exploiters the least.

In this case, all is good - she wants high priced dates, he wants sex. Now only if both are honest about the nature of the transaction.

Being that getting ice cream doesn't require a chaperone, I'm not sure that theory holds much validity. We may both be getting what we want, but not know each other at all or never meet. That's relative.

No, that's some people, which I mentioned. If it were me - I'd say it was me. I don't mix messages. I mean some people but not all people, and not "no" people.

I said most women, not "women".

Hurt feelings are a problem and largely cannot be avoided - but when you can and don't that's just dumb.

If you can use your common sense long enough to happily follow your hormones, you'll be hurt less - and that's a fact.

Typically, yeah you'd be right - but you got the wrong broad on that one.

No, it says that men can't say no to demands, period.

There's no market for it unless women know some men are gonna do this.

We are talking about relationships which kind of requires two people to know something about each other. Wasn't that clear from the context?

I'm not so sure about that. People who actively avoid hurt feelings also, to a degree, avoid life. And if hurt feelings are largely unavoidable, isn't it better to learn to deal with hurt feelings rather than try to avoid them? I say "try" because most of the times we don't know when, where or how our feelings will be hurt.

That said, I think it's important to ask, why does a person's feelings get hurt in the dating/relationship arena? More importantly, as this is more relevant to the question at hand, how does having sex = hurt feelings?

The most commonly stated reasons by women, against sex or casual sex, are:

A) STDs
B) Hurt feelings
C) Pregnancy

One can take precautions against A and C and virtually elimiante the risk of those things. Which means A and C are basically excuses.

I claim that B has little or nothing to do with sex, rape excluded. No woman has ever been able show sex = hurt feelings. When most women do attempt to show sex = hurt feelings, they inevitably show "I thought he would stick around if I gave him sex, but I was wrong, and that pisses me off" or "The **stard used me". I find the latter hilarious as it implies the woman had sex, but didn't want to. If she did want to, then she wouldn't say was used as she got what she wanted. I've never heard someone say, "I got what I wanted, but I was used"!

To get to the subject... "take it slow" is often hesitation, lack of interest, and no attraction, at the very least. When a person claims to like sex, but then says "let's take it slow", which is often another way of saying, "let's delay sex", something is wrong. One doesn't delay the things they like, unless they don't really like them, or something else is wrong.

Now she's being more careful about LETTING herself get emotionally involved right away. She wants to know the guy is real and what he says is real before she LETS herself become emotionally attached again. It's less about not trusting YOU (OP) than it is about not trusting HERSELF because in the past she made bad decisions and wound up being hurt because of them.

Put a ring on her finger and offer her a life and not just a part of your anatomy.