| How do you deal with a loud talker????
Posted: 1/16/2009 9:25:40 AM | ^^
I agree with you, they can be irritating
sometimes it's jut because they are arrogant and think that if they talk louder, what they say is 'more convincing'.
(sort of like how some terrible bands think they can make up for in volume, what they lack in musical talent..) :)
however, to have a little compassion, maybe I do have a friend who I *think* talks loud because of having his hearing somewhat damaged due to constantly working in a loud industrial environment.
or maybe he just gets used to almost yelling because at work he has to do that to be heard
and 'safety' (being heard) trumps 'politeness' ? | |
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| How do you deal with a loud talker????
Posted: 1/16/2009 9:37:53 AM | Well bud I would of said something about it, Loud talkers irritate me, unless its a medical problem but racist remarks in this day and age is just plain ignorant, people have flaws I understand that, but they're certain views/opinions that they express and you believe in ,you have to stand up and say something, nothing worse then a person who lets another party yap about what ever and you don't voice your true feeling.
Just like the old saying If it smells like a pig, squeals like a pig, eats like a pig it aint a Possum?
If It was me and It did happen to me a few years I just said sorry this isnt going to work for me because of your views and mine clashes, sorry for wasting your time. | |
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WindF
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Joined: 1/8/2009
Msg: 51 | |
| How do you deal with a loud talker????
Posted: 1/16/2009 9:41:52 AM | I would tell her to quiet down and then set her up with this guy that just messaged me this racist message,they sound perfect for each other..
Woodie104 (View Profile) (View All Correspondence)
Subject: Hi Sent Date: 1/16/2009 11 13 AM
Do you go on the war path when you drink firewater? | |
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| How do you deal with a loud talker????
Posted: 1/16/2009 10:27:04 AM | My technique to deal with a loud talker (as opposed to a racist) is to speak in a very lowered tone. Their response would be too either strain to hear me, or to ask me to speak up. If they were to say the latter, of course I would say, yes I am speaking louder, whilst still keeping my voice relatively low until they got the gist in mirroring my lead in conversation - it works every time because it needs them to sharpen their own listening sense which reflects on THEIR OWN sense to their own voice. This technique is especially useful if people insist on playing music loud and talking loudly over the top, they turn the music down and turn the volume of their voice down too which saves me ear-ache.
As for racist comments - it depends on where you are and whether the situation is appropriate or whether you find it offensive - that is an entirely different dilemma and personal to you. You have the ability to tell them to shut up. The problem with asking them to quieten down whilst they are speaking loudly in a racist manner would be that they might in some way think that you want to listen to what they have to say - but in a hushed tone of guilty spite. | |
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| How do you deal with a loud talker????
Posted: 1/16/2009 10:49:37 AM | | As far as the loud talking issue. Its hard to tell. You shouldn't just assume anything. I grew up with a Father and Grandfather that can't hear. We had to talk loud for them to understand what we were saying to them. We had to order for them in restaurants and basically be there for them to translate what the needed. So, I guess in the process sometimes I can talk loud not meaning to but really not realizing it. Now, my Father wears two hearing aids but its still a habit of talking loud, that doesn't diminish because you have had to for so long. We try, sometimes its just instilled in you. Once we realize we are doing it(or someone mentions it) we tone down the voice. :) Its not done on purpose or to get attention. As for the racists comments, I would have been long gone. That speaks volumes of a persons character and I will not tolerate or waste my time listening to such ignorance. | |
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| How do you deal with a loud talker????
Posted: 1/16/2009 12:36:37 PM | You could have told her to either lower her voice or you would have to take out your "hearing aids".............. 
It is always appropriate to tell another that something that they are saying is not acceptable to you, and then leave that person and move on.
There is seldom, if ever, a need to try to raise yourself up, by putting others down in derogatory ways, and this goes for racial slurs, gender bashing, religion, and any other form of personal feeling.
You learn much from others when they open their mouth, but there is no need to accept bad behavior of any kind.
Just my opinion........   | |
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| How do you deal with a loud talker????
Posted: 1/16/2009 12:41:38 PM | im from a loud family and i understand it makes you feel like woow.. what wrong with the volume of this tv! and what channel is this.. it wasn't in the TV guide.. lol..
i had a loud ex.. she got on my nerves telling everyone our business in public.. but because i was raised around a family who voice is higher then a fire alarm. you get to forget who is around.. you no when you say things your thinking but you cant believe you just said it!
but if someone told me to keep it down i might get defensive.. so that out the window.. maybe you should just tell her she is offensive to over cultures. and if she gets ignarant den theirs your answer let her move on to the KKK.. lol.. that was so wrong.. i cant believe i said it | |
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| How do you deal with a loud talker????
Posted: 1/16/2009 1:04:42 PM |
Msg: 7 -- If they don't stop, leave.
I heartily disagree with your timing. If my date's decorum disagrees
with mine, I am GROSSLY embarrassed. AND, if she embarrasses me in
public due to what I consider IMPROPER behavior, I do NOT allow a
second chance. You say "If they don't stop, leave." **I** say if they
START, the date ENDS. NO second chance, NO "if they don't stop". If
she is rude to the waitstaff or to other diners in the restaurant, by
intent OR otherwise, I DO NOT want to be with her any longer.
I DELIBERATELY choose to be unoffensive in a public environment. If my
date chooses OTHERWISE, she OFFENDS **ME**, in ADDITION to whomsoever
she has ALSO offended.
If she allows me to do so, I will take her to whichever destination
she desires. If not, I will leave ALONE. In EITHER case, I am GONE,
and will leave waitstaff a generous tip on my way out the door.
Msg: 8 -- oh i would have said something, alright. "excuse me, but are
you aware that not only is your voice intolerably loud, but the words
coming out of your mouth are retarded?" just think of the potential
that has for cutting a heinous date mercifully short.
OK, a much SHORTER way of stating the obvious. I tend to be a bit
longwinded when I express an opinion about which I have been wounded
in the past. :-)
Msg: 12 -- First off, I'm with you on anticultureism (if you're racist
you hate humans, we are all from the same race) If it would have been
me in that situation I would have finnished my drink quickly and said
"It was nice meeting you, but not that nice" C'Yaaaaaaa! But that's
just me. I have no time for ignorance of that caliber.
As I said previously, BUT I DO enjoy quoting those who can say it
better than I.
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| How do you deal with a loud talker????
Posted: 1/16/2009 2:38:34 PM |
Msg: 13 -- I can't imagine having a girlfriend who I'd be embarassed
of.
And neither can I. If she embarrasses me, she embarrasses ALL I stand
for. She embarrasses my VERY BEING. There is NO remedy for this. If
she embarrasses me, she is NO LONGER my girlfriend. I have NO
tolerance for this form of behavior.
Msg: 27 -- racism is offensive..full stop
I think this goes BEYOND racism. ANYTHING publically offensive goes
BEYOND the bar, INCLUDING racism, rudeness, public ridicule, ANYTHING
of such a nature. ALL of it boils down to DEGRADING the value of a
PERSON. That which degrades a PERSON is OFFENSIVE. Therefore,
degrading a PERSON **OFFENDS** ****ME****!!!! ALL **PERSONS** have
intrinsic value, whether such value is obvious or not.
Msg: 35 -- That's what I would have said. Then I would have stood up,
looked around the restaurant and in a voice comparable in volume to my
Non-dates, I would have said: "Sorry folks, this Was a first date. Had
I known how Ignorant he/she was, I would Never have gone out with .. I
apologize again to anyone who was offended by his/her behaviour, just
wanted to let you know that I don't condone it."
I will have to remember this. Embarrassing someone else in public is
NOT my forte, but THIS quote deserves my frequent review. I definitely
need more practice in offensive retort. Thank you.
Msg: 43 -- Was this girl drinkin' at the time, could she have had too
much to drink ?
Does this REALLY matter? It is frequently said that one's inhibitions
are released when one is inebriated. That being the case, one's TRUE
feelings expose themselves when one is drunk. So, I presume the
feelings expressed by my "date" when she is drunk are genuine.
Hey, I am drinking NOW, and I FREELY admit that I am very MUCH
inebriated. In fact, I rarely post here when I am sober. So, if my
date says something when she is drunk, I consider that to be fairly
much gospel as far as SHE is concerned. THIS means that if she says
something while she is "lubricated", it MEANS something associated
with her TRUE beliefs. For THIS reason, I tend to be MORE offended by
what she says while DRUNK than what she says while SOBER. I search for
TRUTH in my search for a prospective mate. Truth comes out when one is
less inhibited. One is less inhibited when one is drunk. Now, does
anyone fault me in my logic? | |
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| How do you deal with a loud talker????
Posted: 1/16/2009 3:05:55 PM | I've had a fair amount of success with shhh'ing them discretely while making a little motion in the air with my hand - as though I'm turning down the volume on some invisible stereo system. Then I just shake my head and grin. They usually get the hint.
As for the racist remarks, well, I wouldn't abide by that. They'd know it too, and in no uncertain terms. | |
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| How do you deal with a loud talker????
Posted: 1/16/2009 3:22:50 PM | Ohh the first part of talking loud struck me..I talk loud because my spouse can not hear well. Its been 41 years of talking to someone that can't hear.. I at times embarrass myself because someone might say something about it..
But ! I don't make racist comments like that in public. Thats not acceptable..
If this was just first date and she was so racist ? can you imagine what it will be like down the road when she is comfortable with you ?
Might want to re-think asking that one out again.
Good luck | |
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| How do you deal with a loud talker????
Posted: 1/16/2009 4:27:12 PM | I have a loud friend - she has attention issues. She's been that way as long as I've known her (about 25 years--since high school), and while I love her, I'm careful where I go with her because of the loudness thing. She's a high needs girl.
If you're up for the high toll it'll take on you to be in a relationship with her, then go for it. Ask her out. Ask her why she talks so loudly - out of curiosity. Maybe she doesn't notice, maybe she doesn't know why but you'll make her think? I don't know.
I'm lucky that most of my conversations with my girlfriend are on the phone or at each other's homes and not so much out in public. And we don't get together a whole lot (less now that I've moved to another city) because I just get worn out when I'm around her. Very high needs, spotlight kind of girl. But she's fun too, and deep. Those are what have kept our friendship alive all these years. But daily interaction? I think our friendship would have ended a long time ago because it's just too much. But if you're up for a girl like that, go for it. If not, walk away before you invest more emotional energy into it than you can afford.
As for the racist remarks: that's a dealbreaker. I'd walk away if I were you. | |
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| xxxxxxxx
Posted: 1/24/2009 6:02:09 PM | | only liers chantel is drunk and do drugs | |
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| How do you deal with a loud talker????
Posted: 1/24/2009 6:37:05 PM |
that was funny. i wish i would have had one but then, what if she liked it?? LOLOL
Then you could have placed her over your knee and spanked her for her bad behavior. | |
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| How do you deal with a loud talker????
Posted: 1/24/2009 9:39:15 PM | Why have I read this post before..................thats really weird.................and it was like last year on another site or this one not sure............ | |
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| How do you deal with a loud talker????
Posted: 1/24/2009 11:15:05 PM | | I would have just as loudly told her that I disagreed with her statements. If she continued to say disrespectful things, I would have just stood up and left. | |
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| How do you deal with a loud talker????
Posted: 1/24/2009 11:23:33 PM | Yes you should have said something...she might tone down or remain the same. If she don't change then you know what you see is what you get with this person.
Don't be afraid to speak up even if its your first meeting. Some times some people need to be told of their unappealing behaviour. | |
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| How do you deal with a loud talker????
Posted: 1/25/2009 7:25:35 AM | may be get some ear plugs or just ask her politely to turn her voice down. I had an x that was very loud , kept telling him to turn his volume down a little.lol
She's obviously not the girl for you then. | |
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